Great saying about depression
Comments
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Okay!
(why don't they use the word "remission" anymore????)
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Hi Barbe- partly because logically they cannot tell if there is one lurking cell- can only see it when it gets bigger- but more importantly they are trained to report like that for medico legal reasons to cover their back.
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Is it only me or is this webpage SUPER slow today. I have to keep trying again and again to get in. It might be the **** viagra emails I keep getting that have given me a virus. Does anybody know how to get rid of the pests. Do I look like I need viagra? I can't even cope with my breasts never mind a penis!!! Have tried deleting them - reporting them as phishing scams - to no avail.
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Maddie, thanks for validating my "one cell" theory!! Always wondered why they stopped using the term remission....
I've been reporting a lot of "free movies" theads lately!!!! Definitely a slow system in the last couple of days.
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Barbe: words............
I said you criticized us. I did not criticize what you wrote
I said what you wrote was very provocative
I never said the MODS should of deleted your post. I said I thought they would of written one in response to your remark that there is no cure for breast cancer.
And I didn't go from an early stage to Stage 4. Mine was originally stage 3 due to how invasive the breast turmour was and my other breast was full of BC Stage 0. DON'T YOU REMEMBER PERSONALLY CHALLENGING ME ON THAT ONE IN A PRIVATE PM YOU SENT ME AND TOLD ME I couldn't be Stage 3? YOU told me my doctor was wrong. I remember how much you upset me. Guess you know more than the doctors.
AND SPEAKING OF STATS AND STAGING: I find it very interesting that you,who says a person needs to be their own health advocate, and you talk freely and openly here, has not shared, like,the rest of us, on what kind of breast cancer you have had, the grade or stage, and if you have had treatment or not. I don't mean the part where women put in a bit of a bibliography but the stats.
I spoke with my oncologist today and she said you were right in the fact that women with mets under control or responding to treatment are thought to be dealing with a 'chronic' disease - one that will come and go, fade in and out of their lives until they die of the disease of something else. THE ONCOLOGIST ALSO SAID THAT WOMEN WHO DID NOT HAVE INVASIVE TUMOURS OR POSITIVE LYMPH NODES NEED TO STAY VIGILANT TO THE SIGNS OF BREAST CANCER, as even with a double mastectomy, breast tissue can be elsewhere in the body.
BUT, THAT WOMEN WITHOUT POSITIVE LYMPH NODES OR INVASIVE TUMOURS were not thought of to have 'chronic breast cancer disease' - which is a new term to me. And chronic diseases will not continue to worsen until they consume us or we get hit by a bus as you say - chronic means it's there but manageable but not going away ever.....
Yes Maddie and Mac and the rest of you. I'm done.
I'll yield the thread to Queen Barbe.
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Debbie, I hope you don't mean leaving the thread. I really enjoy this thread and have found hope here from everyone. I was really in a dark place when I came here and now even tho not much has changed I can see the light.
I understand both your points of view. But I don't think it is an either or matter. It is a difference of opinion. (with some personality traits rubbing the wrong way)
Anyway, I hope people hang in here.
hopefulhealing, it was good to hear the progress you are making. Sorry it is such a long story. I remember my bs saying this would just be a blip on my radar screen, well, I would like her to go through this process and then call it a blip.
maddie, I haven't been on the computer lately. I have "only" been taking the AI for a year. But now they have taken me off it again. I am having nerve pain in my hands. I am not suppose to be doing any repetitive movements. (LOL) I am only to do my exercises and massage. I am seeing a hand therapist. She has me using a heating pad and then icing after the exercise and before bed. Plus I get to wear some lovely compression gloves. I will be seeing my MO on Friday, she wants to have a "chat" (her word, not mine)
barbe, you are right sometimes reality sucks, but sometimes it can be absolutly beautiful. (sometimes both at the same time)
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maddie, I was going to go with the 3D nipples but decided to have them reconstructed which I did this last winter. Now I am going to have the tattooing done. So glad I got the nipples. He took skin from my hips to create the areolas and nipples. No regrets even though I did have complications. But that is the norm for me
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Deb, any breast cancer above DCIS is considered "invasive" as it is not in the milk glands which are contained. I don't recall arguing about your stats, but if I did, it was probably because you had DCIS stage 3, which is impossible. DCIS is stage 0 (recently they have considered micromets to be stage 1). If you had any kind of cancer outside the glands, then you are IDC. IDC trumps DCIS.
I am glad that your Onc has validated what I said and I appreciate you posting that information.
As far as I know, my stats are in my profile where they've been for almost 5 years! I used to post them but confused a LOT of people with my very, very rare breast cancer, Papillary. When I was first diagnosed there was only ONE item in a Google search with Papillary in it (not here!)!!! Ladies confused it with Papilomas which are benign and it scared them. I had a double mastectomy and thus no rads. My surgeon then had emergency heart surgery and I didn't get to see an Oncologist for 9 months. It was too late to do chemo, but as I am ER+ it was explained to me that ER+ is a slow growing cancer and doesn't respond well to chemo, so it would have been my choice anyway. With my horrid cardiac history (see above) I would have said no anyway and my cardiologist was thrilled. (An increase in survival rate of 3-5% is not enough for me to do that to my body anyway!) As for an AI, none was offered. My doctor said to "save the big guns until next time". (I know now that grade affects the growth speed of cancer cells in ER+ testing, but for some strange reason, no one know why, my cells weren't graded, or they can't find the info!) All in all, as my Onc said, "You really fell into the cracks, didn't you?"
I stayed off this thread for over a week to yield to the respect I had for justagirl. Then PM's urged me not to leave a thread where I had done so much good. I got to post my feelings on the issue for the first time. I am NOT a "Queen" I am just someone who is living with breast cancer!
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Meant to mention!! My Papillary cancer is treated as IDC as that is the "garden variety" of breast cancers that can take any/all treatments.
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Ok... Time to move on ... This thread is to help people struggle with depression ...
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I agree with Joanne53......move on and try being supportive......enough of the doom and gloom .....this thread IS about helping people with depression.
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No, Scottie, this thread is for people WITH depression! Big difference. Here we are allowed to spill our guts out and find out that others have depression and sad things in their lives as well. That normally amounts to gloom, if not doom.
So, Scottie, why are you depressed?? And Joanne, what about you? (Note the Mods have named this thread for those WITH depression.)
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Barbe.....Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I did say this thread IS for people with depression. You might need to re-read my post.
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Good grief, ladies. BCO is all about HELPING each other!!!!!
I don't think a one of us logs on to 'fight' or bicker. We have enough stuff happening in real life to not have to to 'cyber bully' or fight or bicker or misconstrue words.
I started reading the depression forum to see how to counteract any depression I might face in the coming months after I've exhausted my reconstruction project which has been going on since my dx in Feb of 2012. My coping mechanism was to dive in head first, and totally 100% focus on the recon part, not the part that would/might remind me that I have bc again!
I also didn't want to say ANYTHING on this forum just because it appears that the dread is the dx a second time for many - or so it would seem when reading the posts. That gave me a double edged sword of being fearful of getting depressed b/c of the 2nd dx and having no treatments to focus and 'be busy' on, but also of depressing anyone further in the fear that it could happen again.
We each walk this walk a little different than the other. Our mindsets, our goals, our focus is different. Our daily habits differ greatly with each other whether or not they impact bc or not - so why wouldn't our thoughts differ?
I was fascinated reading the posts, must have skimmed one or two as I suddenly got stopped in the flow of reading when I heard discord and suddenly the forum seemed to take a turn that would certainly depress even the un-depressed!!!
So in Scottie's defense, and not to diss Barbe or the dear lady from Down Under, Debbie but to truly ditto Joanne - can you all please agree that semantics might not be the rule of order at this point and that maybe getting back to the reason we all go on BCO - to help others while helping ourselves through this journey we never wanted to sign up for, continue?
My dad is in hospice, my smoke screen of denial might be ending, and now what? I'd like to be able to get back as a lurker and just read without thinking you all are about to fly off and punch each other!!! Whether it's physical or cyber - a punch is a punch. How about a hug instead?
Hugs
Catie0 -
Scottie, you said this thread is about HELPING people with depression. No. It's about people WITH depression. To LURK and not post is ALWAYS acceptable in normal circumstances and is totally understandable in a thread about something as personal as depression.
Caite, pardon the ignorance of this thread right now; for almost THREE years it was a VERY supportive thread as we heard each others' stories and woes. We didn't try to change anyones' lives...just be there for them to vent and cry. You ARE in the right place, just the wrong time, so once the ladies who do NOT feel comfortable voicing their depression concerns abandon this thread, it will be a GREAT thread once again. It is absolute ironic that the ladies who "think" they are here to "help" us are the ones causing this disruption!!!!
In God's name, PLEASE ladies!!! leave us with the ones who have been here all along for each other!!!! No one has tried to "play" doctor and "help" us, we don't need that! What we NEEDED was a safe place to vent and you have ruined what was once a safe haven. I pray to GOD that you let this thread return to it's previous reason for being here on this Forum.
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Amen
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anyhow, Catie, so sorry your dad is in hospice. You certainly do not need that on top of everything else. It can sure bring down that smoke screen to have to be witness to someone fading away. I hope he is not in pain. Do you get to spend time with him?
My father died 7 months before my dx. I had always taken care of everyone else and now my kids are grown and my parents are both gone. So it is just me and the dog. And taking care of myself has turned into a full time job.
I just tested positive for Lyme disease, but supposedly it was in the past. So why are my hands hurting so much? I am getting fed up with the "practice" of medicine. I feel a little like a Guinea pig.
I still think of this as a safe haven. (((((((hugs)))))
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I think we are all feeling frustrated and sad after reading the back and forth here
We hope you all can truly move forward, be real, authentic, open and supportive, and not get wrapped up in semantics.
Breastcancer.org has thousands of pages of information if anyone would like to read, and let's leave this particular discussion for emotional support, as it has been for the last 3 years.
Sending you all cyber hugs, and encouragement for a new start.
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thanks mods.
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Thank you mods, I totally agree also, finished.
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mac, would Lyme disease be why you have so much trouble with your breathing??? They are advertising Lyme disease for the first time here in Canada!! I have heard about it, but never heard it advertised! It must be a LOT more prevalent than we realize.
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Hi ladies - thanks for the info on nipples hopefulhealing. Have a little while to think about it before I can have it done. Good luck with the tatooing.
Mac - I think that they have found evidence of Lyme disease is fabulous news!! Sounds weird to say that, but it could explain a lot of your sympoms - tingling nerves,sore joints, breathing problems etc. I do hope they find that has been the cause of some of your symptoms, as it can be treated with a long course of antibiotics. Serious hikers in the UK always wear their socks over their trousers. I always thought it looked really nerdy, but have since discovered that it is to prevent ticks- the cause of Lyme disease- from crawling up your leg under your trousers!!
Catie2013 - I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. Must be an awful time for you. I have the greatest respect for Hospice - I think they are a wonderful organisation. I personally know someone who was a fund raiser for Hospice. She said she raised the money as if she was raising it for a member of her family. Anything that made their last few days easier was fine with her.
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Thank you, Mac. So sorry to hear about your Lyme disease, yikes!!! I've had friends with it and it can be a little/lot challenging but hear there are meds to help. Hoping you get the correct meds.
And, so sorry about your dad's passing. I have been strong for so many of the passings in my life, husband, mother, sister in law, aunts, uncles, etc, but this one is tough. I get to see him about once a month since he lives in a different state. We were dx the same week, our surgeries approx a week apart and they told him they couldn't get it all (5 melanomas in 25 years) this last one on his skull. So, thus the brain mets. Several brain tumors according to the Dr who suggested his only alternative was hospice after he fell more times than I can remember in a very short period. I was in the hospital for stage 1b when this happened, so couldn't be there for him then. But have talked to him almost every day since my mother passed in '98. My brothers have picked up the slack though and we've been steadily going to see him when we are able. My kids have also picked up and the 4 of them have gone as well. My latest surgery (almost the last) was 12 days ago - so still not driving yet.
But thank you for asking and for your kind words. It's a bunch to take in at this time.
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Thank you mods, but.............is it ok for Barbe1958 to call someone a troll because they have been reading here and not posting until Barbe finally drove her to do it with her remarks back in the beginning of July? And is it ok for Barbe to demand to know if a person (and it was the same person she called a troll) is depressed?
I too, thought this thread was to support and HELP each other with depression and how it affected our everyday lives. We used to share the good and the bad. So many woman have dropped this thread in the last year - but it wasn't because they died.
I just don't understand how Barbe could of posted what she did back in the beginning of July that there is no cure for breast cancer and if we don't die of something else first, it BC will probably kill us. This just seems so inappropriate for a thread about depression. Those are not exactly two uplifting statement................
And in the past, we haven't always talked about depression, but anxiety and general stress.
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Justagirl, can we just move forward like the Mods suggested and go back to being a supportive group of friends? I think it has been discussed enough.
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chabba - fine
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So I live in an area that is known for Lyme disease, but no-one wants to start me on something new(med wise) until I see my MO on Friday. I hope I am scheduled for a long enough appt.lol
I am getting some energy back after stopping the arimidex,tho.
Barbe,you would think your winters would be cold enough to kill those little suckers off.
Catie, sometimes it seems like life throws too much at us at once doesn't it? It is so hard being far away from our loved ones. I'm glad you can talk on the phone. Take care of yourself, heal well.
Maddie,thanks. I really don't know if I was bitten by a tick and I never had a rash,but it would explain some of my symptoms.
(((((Justagirl))))))0 -
Thinking of you with your procedure tomorrow, chabba. I pray for a quick and painless biospy and a negative (benign!) result. You are not alone, sweetie!
Edited to change mac's name to chabba!! Then found out that chabba's biopsy will be tomorow (Monday).
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Hi Mac - Lyme disease is caused by a tick bite. Don't think you can get it from anything else, though am not 100% sure of this. You may not have even noticed the bite if it was on the back of your leg, or on your back for instance. It doesn't cause a rash just a red circle around the bite like a bullseye on the dart board. "Tick bite fever" however is an African tick disease. 2 weeks after the bite you will feel really, really sick - feverish with flu like symptoms. The glands nearest the tick bite swell up, and the bite area goes a very dark purple/ black colour. Most of the ticks carrying these diseases are not big ones. My husband caught it really badly from a tick no bigger than a pin head!!! Feisty little sucker!!
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Hi,
Decided to look on this forum and was taken in by the quote that started it, about depression being a sign that you've been strong for too long.
I am approaching what I think is the last part of my treatment, revision surgery for my reconstruction. Compared to chemo and the double mastectomy/reconstruction, I've been thinking how odd it is to feel so shaken and depressed as this relatively small pending procedure.
Everyone keeps telling me how strong and resourceful I've been throughout this ordeal. i've felt supported by these statements. But I do think that's a double-edged sword. There comes a time when that strength gives way to the emotions of sadness, anger, envy, worry...and it's hard to express these feelings to those who have been lauding you for being so strong.
Here it seems acceptable to say that I feel the opposite of strong right now. I'm wanting to hole up and hibernate. Small tasks seem like big deals. Going to the grocery store, for example. As I anticipate going back to work in the fall I feel tired just thinking about it.
Maybe I can cut myself some slack. I have a right to feel negative emotions. Being strong too long is draining. Perhaps here I can just say today sucks and no one here will judge me or try to change the way I feel right now.
Thanks for listening,
Peggy0
