Great saying about depression
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Ok, girls, so much for my offer of sunshine and 70 degree weather. It is 35 here this morning.....in Phoenix. (I know I get no sympathy from most of you!) But when you take into account my poor thinned out Arizona blood (kind of like your wind chill factor) it's really like -10! LOL! Hope everyone is staying warm and cozy this morning!
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Ladies,
I have checked out this thread off and on since it started. I am a three time survivor treated by lumpectomy and rads for #1 and #2. I continued to work full time thru treatment and was lucky that the only side effect I had from rads was the fatigue. When #3 came along, it was bil. mastectomy time. I used to shop at Victoria's Secret for my bras. After BMX and no recon., I changed from VS bras to VS undies. When I felt down I went and bought some hot panties. Something about wearing red undies does a body good and a leopard spotted thong is just plain naughty.
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Hi Rita! Welcome! What a great idea! I think for a lot of us we need to stop focusing on the area that feels as though it has lost its femininity and focus on the ones we have left. (Now I just need to get this booty in shape! LOL!) And I am a sucker for anything leopard....
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That is a great idea. But Yes one does need to feel a bit more in shape I think. Well, at least I do. I have actually been really trying - it is so not fun! But come spring I want to be able to fit back into my "pretty" clothes.
Hey Kate, my sister has a leopard bike! She can always find it and she bought a really good lock cause it is so cute lots of people might like it!
mjbmiller - I do agree keeping busy helps a lot - if nothing else just to take your mind off and onto something else. Have an odd question - you know when you are in a hurry to do something and you just speed up to get it done? Well, do most men just not have that ability to have a spurt of energy? Bad morning as you might guess....
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Stanzie- Hmmm, where does your sister live? I think I've got some bolt cutters here somewhere.....JK! A leopard bike! So jealous!
As to your question- I believe that ability is lacking in all male DNA but that is just my experience with the two in my house and some BIL's. Multi-tasking is sadly also lacking from their chromosomal make-up.
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Hi ladies,
I'm concerned mjbmiller that a foam punching bag just won't cut it. How about a real one, and instead of punching it, do some kick boxing - of course you should be wearing a leopard thong just as Rita suggested!
Thank you Kate & Determined. I do try to honor my grief. I think that there are so many ways that we grieve through our journey, and so often we push it under the rug or live in denial. Honoring it, and alowing it to come AND go is important to our overall health.
MrsNice. I'm glad you are through with rads. I also burned terribly and had a few meltdowns. Those techs were amazing with their compassion. I hope that your skin continues to heal and that you take the time you need to help recover.
I think today is a little better than yesterday.
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stanzie - my DH is an odd fish, if it needs to get done he does it even though I was getting ready to do it. It has been a sore spot for me on occasions.
Kate - great idea on the VS idea but I do not know if they have plus size for me. Worth looking at.
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Hi ladies! I have been MIA the last week due to a horrible melt down but I have had a busy week and I am hoping I am on an upswing.
mbjmiller: I have found that going on line to purchase from VS you can almost always find your style/size where going into their stores it is just a challenge because they are never fully stocked--just a few things in "standard" sizes.
I love leopard anything and I would love it if my bike was leopard--I would probably not leave it in the garage so much.
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Men. I love to play with their heads! Oh, not the underwear stuff, the chore stuff.
My DH takes AGES to start a project. I don't nag. I remind. Then as soon as he starts it and gets his rhythym going, I ask him about something else. He stops. He pauses. He tries to start up again and just can't!
I am easliy amused. hehehehehehehehehehe
Mind, you, he DOES have 3 brain tumours.........
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MBJ- Glad to see you back! I was wondering where you had gone to. Sorry last week was bad but glad you're feeling better!
barbe- At least your DH has a good excuse! But what do you mean by he has 3 brain tumors? He currently has three, he used to have three? What are they doing for him? How scary! I guess I have nothing to complain about....of course, that's never stopped me before!
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Stanzie, I know what you mean about men taking forever to do something. I thought it was just my DH. He is very patient and meticulous with household projects, which is good, but it seems like it takes him longer to get things done than I think it should... I am really laidback most of the time, when I occasionally switch into that' "OKAY let's get some sh*t done NOW" mode, it kind of flusters him, cause I don't think that mode is fully functional under his operating system.
it kind of blows my mind sometimes too- I just think- "well why the hell did I put that off for so long?" , but sometimes you just need the proper motivation.
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Well, I guess I failed to mention that I still have five "boost" rad treatments to go, but instead of starting it yesterday, I'm taking a break for the rest of the week and starting them on Monday. Of course the focused site where the boost will hit is right where my skin is the worst, so my RO agreed it would be good to get some healing before boosting.
I agree with ya'all on the pretty panties idea, but I have never been a thong girl. As Paula Poundstone (I believe) once put it - "I spent half my life trying dig my undies outta there, and now someone designs undies that go there!" or something to that affect. Right now I'm all about cotton and comfort, but I have pretty underwires waiting for their day.
As for the DH work ethic, mine seems to start a whole bunch of things and rarely finishes any. He's also got the perfectionist/meticulous bug so when he DOES attack a project, it takes longer than my patience can stand!
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What gets me is when he starts a project and expects me to join in! I think he does it for the company but its like I have other things that need to get done.
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I will start a project on my day off and then go back to work and say nothing and cross my fingers that he'll finish it! Sometimes he does, sometimes he has no idea I wanted it finished....sigh.
3 inoperable brain tumours. Non-malignant. He's not working. Life is hard.....sigh.
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barbe- So sorry! It's hard enough dealing with one medical crisis let alone the many you both have. Just doesn't seem fair. I'm amazed you still have your incredible sense of humor all the time. I guess that's what gets you through sometimes, though, huh? (((hugs)))
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Barbe - (((hugs too)))
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Oh, it IS my sense of humour that gets me through....truly! I mean, you reach a point in life where you just have to laugh. Go ahead, God! Hit me with your best shot!!!! We laugh so hard sometimes that anyone watching would want to dial 911. It's just ridiculous. We don't know ANYONE that could handle the kind of stress we have. We were $1.12 short on our January mortgage. I just happened to have a 3 month old dehumidifier in my car that I sold at a hock shock to cover the difference and put gas in my car. Life is fun....hehheehehhehee
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MBJ-
Nice to have you back!
Hugs,
Jessica
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It's good to be back!
Barbe: Sometimes laughter is the only medicine but I sure wish it weren't that way. Hugs.
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Barbe - I can't believe all you have to deal with. Your resilience and ability to keep your great sense of humor is incredible.
MBJ - Welcome back! Glad to hear you're feeling better.
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I think maybe that's why the cancer didn't knock me down. With my Fibromyalgia pain and the heavy narcotics I'm on (which cause constipation!) I was already on some antidepressant so it helped me through. I cannot imagine how I would feel without my drugs!!! I am terrified to try as even when I miss a dose or two I can feel the weird feeling creeping in..... I have a chemical imbalance, and probably also a clinical depression so it's a double whammy but I'm not ashamed of it. As women we take on sooooooo much of other's crap that we reach overload faster than a guy who dumps it. And then the kids!
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Hi All!! I just popped in to say hello to everyone and wish you all a great weekend! I hope today is a better day!
MrsNice Congrat on finishing rads and good luck with your BOOST next week. I didn't have to do rads and I am thankful for that, you ladies are brave for facing that treatment..I was terrified at the thought of rads. Bravo for almost being done!
Diane
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Barb- Gosh I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much. But I do know when faced with a lot you have to just keep going, so many people ask how can you deal with so much but as I know you know, you do what you have to do and just do it. For me when bad things were just one on top of another and my friends would tell me I'm so strong or brave and such - I never felt that way it was you do what you have to do. Funny my family never thought I was dealing anything.
I will say though you are certainly due for a break and some really good news and good things to happen. I so want that for you. You pull so many of us up with your humor and strength - I hope you have a wonderful support system around you physically ( as in other than us cyber friends and support). I really can't imagine dealing with all you have to deal with but I'm glad the drugs are working for you. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.
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Hey Barbe- What Stanzie said! (Well said, Stanzie!)
Heck, I have sympathy for you just because you live somewhere freezing a@@ cold! How do you guys do it? It's 25F here in Phoenix this morning and I'm whining like a big old baby. You'd never know I grew up in Michigan! So yesterday I treated myself (sadly, no leopard thong) and bought myself new dishes. Mine were old, chipped and cracked (symbolic about how I feel about this body right now) so I decided it was out with the old, in with the new. I love the new ones. They make me happy. (And I got a smoking deal at Costco!) Hope you all find something this weekend that brings you joy- sunrise, grandkids, leopard thongs, whatever.....
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Hey ladies, I have to say how warm and fuzzy you have made me feel with your posts for me!! I do not have a network of friends or famly. I pick you guys!!! I can't make plans like dinners or moveis as I never know my physical condition so I have lost all my friends. My Dad did not believe my FM until he had a neighbour move in who he really liked and found out she had FM. Then he believed me. That made me angry. Then the only friend (she's 77) that has stuck sort of around, got some symptoms that made her cry in pain. Her doctor said to be glad she didn't have FM. She actually apologized to me over and over. She always thought I was faking it or just lazy. Nice validation, but about 10 years too late!!!
We all have our crosses to bear and to each of us we only bear what we can. Anyone else in our shoes would do the same, they just don't realize they have it in them until it all comes crashing down. Once you've been on the bottom, everything else looks better! Kinda like how good you feel after you've been sick.
I LOVE getting new dishes, cutlery, and linen!!!! Woo hoo! I usually do that when I move.
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I am fairly new to this forum--I lurk more than I post. That quote hit home for me. I feel like I am the glue that holds my family together. I am still going through diagnosis stage, had surgery a week and a half ago, had complication, am now having another mammo next week, and surgery again the following week. I am tired of being the strong one (other family issues dealing with as well). I am tired, crabby and very sad. I see no light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you for letting me vent and get that off my chest.
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Linda, good first post with us. Admitting you are crabby and sad is the first step!
You will feel better, then you will emotionally crash, then you will feel better, then you....ah, you get it. Come here and spew it all out! We can take it.
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Linda- Just wanted to welcome you and say I'm glad you decided to post this morning. I think we all need a thread like this one for any time of our lives, but especially this one. I think you're going through the most difficult time- the diagnosis and early stages. It's so overwhelming and sometimes our families just aren't used to switching roles and letting us lean on them for a change. But that's why we're all here for you. Come here any time and we will listen and support you. I know for me that light at the end of the tunnel is still faint, but it is there, and it will be for you, too. (((hugs)))
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Linda M I am in the Chicago area as well. Where are you at? You are so early into everything. It takes a long time to get to where some of us are and we still have a long way to go. It is okay to feel sad and angry. You have had a horrible diagnosis and an assault on your body. I too had many complications. Be ever so gentle with yourself. Take baby steps because it is too hard to look at the whole picture some times. This is a journey that will be up and down and back and forth for a long time. We are here for you. This site is wonderful because you can be brutally honest when it is so hard to be with people who have not been through it.
Barbe you will always have the support of this group, you give us all so much. Pain is what you say it is and no one should ever question it!
Kate cool on the dishes! Don't you just love Costco.
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Barbie big support hug from me. Have a friend with FM and to retire from work several years ago. Her and her husband are mentors of ours. Her husband just past away after a long illness and have been concerned for her but she is handling it well.
Linda welcome, this is a great group of ladies that will help you along the way. Never hold back just let us know what you need in this journey and we will be there for you.
Tried to post a picture of our back yard in 4 to 5 in of snow from last night (but didn't work), here in TX that is rare. This has been a hard week as I have now missed three rads tx but my skin under my arm has blistered and am keeping ointment on it. The RO perscribed silver sulfadizine cream which is really really nice. Now have 3 regular tx left and the 5 boost to do. So ready for this to be over.
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