Great saying about depression
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Kate; thanks for the links.. right now, ALL the distractions i use for depression are out of my reach; my energy level is so low; its' too hot, pain, and my hands just aren't working right...
so, i try very hard to just accept this as just going with the flow.. sounds easy; but, as you ladies know, really hard to do.
when my thyroid gets right again, im gonna look forward to the small thins its' robbing me of. so, maybe thats' the lesson.. i try very hard to squeeze out as much life as i can, from every day. these days i keep repeating my mantra... baby steps hahaha
Barbe; i can very much see you ADD; and not much you can do medically. you so dont need the meds for that!!!
thanks for the discussions, ladies.. right now i can';t keep track of who said what.. but im listening know that......3jays
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oh, and Kate has a great idea about the mall walks, except you and i don't get around as much as we'd like tolol
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I did the mall walk thing yesterday and I'm paying for it today. But it felt good. Got new sheets for the bed and changed the king size bed myself! This is the first set of sheets I've ever gotten that are big enough for our mattress. Most cut off before the corner is wrapped all the way. What a pleasure! New, clean sheets....ahhhhh.
I'm seeing some things improve physically and yet others decrease. Very confusing. My doc has ordered a sleep test for me as I am having small seizures in the night. It feels like I am being slammed back down on the bed. It wakes up my DH and the cat runs. I can sleep through most of them, as I'm used to them now, but others are bad enough they wake me up so I just get up and go pee. My doc asked if I wake up tired and I said YES! I'm flopping around all night!!!!
3jays less than a week now before you see the doc!!!! We will be in all your pockets you know that. Make sure he listens!!!!!!!!
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3jays--I'm sending you some sunshine and a warm breeze--it's actually lovely today on my back porch as I type this. Close your eyes....did you feel it?
Barbe--seizures in the night ... no wonder you are tired. Keep us posted...
Jen42--Dixie (my dog) got her wag on today--mama put her Keen walking shoes on and we had a lovely walk at a local park. I had to stop and rest at the half way point, something we didn't ever do before and the view and down time was a good reminder to feel gratitude.
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Hi everyone, can I moan a little about myself? I take Zoloft for social anxiety and Xanex as needed, also for anxiety. But now I feel like I am getting depressed the past few months. I have never really had depression, although both sides of my family have it. I am constantly on the edge of tears. I find that I don't want to work and I am avoiding my boss. I know I have stuff to take care of but I don't want anything to do with anything. I am obsessing about planning a trip to Italy and France. (My partner's gift to me to celebrate getting through cancer). Have I gotten through cancer? I cant get the trip planned fast enough for this Sept, so I have to wait until next Sept. What if I have a recurrence? What if my boss gets sick of my procrastination? and lack of interest? I don't want to exercise, don't want to diet. But upset that I'm not losing any of my weight I gained during chemo. My bangs wont grow. I am trying to finish my 24 year Bachelor's degree (only 6 classes left!). I also want to get my Master's. I feel rather pathetic. Poor, poor pitiful me... Uh
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No walks for my fur children here. 115* out- it would burn their little paws! So took them swimming instead! Scout found it quite refreshing, Piper was miffed but they both got cooled off!
I would only mall walk if it was before the stores opened as I have absolutely no self control. Unfortunately, I'm also not a morning person so would never make it there that early. Luckily, we have a nice treadmill gathering dust upstairs!
barbe- Seizures? Yikes! That's kind of scary! Is the sleep test in some lab or something?
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The sleep labs are either in a hospital setting or a special centre that is set up. I've done them before when they were concerned about my heart. I will be connected to EEG and ECG so they get a lot of information. The bummer is having to go pee and they have to unconnect you! I haven't had a test for about 20 years so it will be interesting to see what's changed.
My DH had started complaining that I was waking him up, but he figured out while talking to me that I was still fast asleep!! It feels like I'm being dropped from about 4 feet above the bed. I seem to slam down into the mattress with my legs and arms flying! I remember waking up one time and looking down the bed at the opposite wall and thinking that I was about to FALL that far! Wooiiieeeee....
I said to DH, gee, watch me get the sleep test and I don't even have a spell! He said no way, you have them all night long!!! The only thing I can see on the internet is epilepsy. I guess that would mean yet ANOTHER drug??? Of course, brain tumour is in there too, but I won't go there.
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im not walking my babies, either, haven't since im sick they don't mind, tho..theyre so little, and pee pee pad trained hahah
Barbe: whats' the seizures from?? aren't they worried? i know I AM!!!
this dr. seems serious.. no way will he be blowing me off. we had a lesson last night about where the sternum is located, thanks to your post.i was horrified!! i thought it was in the middle of your chest, where the boobs used to be!!FIL (who's a retired dr..) showed me where they start... PHEW!!!......3jays
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Barbe -- those seizures you're having sound really scary ! What in the world is going on? Glad you're going to get fully checked out.
Kate -- 115 degrees ! UGH !!
Rowan -- glad you and Dixie got out for a walk, even if you had to stop and rest. And thanks for the reminder to "feel gratitude". I find if I stop and count my blessings, it sometimes helps keep depression away.
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3jays -- sending positive thoughts your way..hang in there (what other choice do you have?)...and let us know what docs say...(((hugs)))
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Felling pretty good today, have a follow up with PS yesterday, it was fluid build up. He drained 130 cc of it. After that it looked a lot better. He wants to see me in a week to make sure it doesn't building back up. In the mean time I am to wear a tight sports bra (threw my surgery binder away) and bind with a 6 in ace bandage, especially over night. If the fluid still builds up he is going to recommend a pump be put in. Hope that doesn't happen. Over all ok with the visit, I just need to give it time.
I looked at myself this morning and did not feel disgusted.
I wish I could do mall walking in the mornings before work but it is on the opposite end of town and I go to work at 7am.
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mjbmiller: I am so glad your PS could take care of it and hopefully that's the end of it! Is there anywhere to walk during your lunch breaks? I used to work for a huge corporation and I would find any excuse to walk from one end to the other just so I wouldn't be sitting at a desk all day.
Kate: I don't know how anyone deals with 115 degree weather-Yikes!
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mjbmiller- Hope everything is quickly resolved and healing soon! (((hugs)))
MBJ- I just realized we must have had a cold front come in- it's only 98*! Where's my sweater? lol!
Hmmm, mjb and MBJ! Anyone else notice that?
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Hello Ladies!!
mjbmiller...wow 130cc's drained I can't imagine how uncomfortable you felt...you poor thing..glad it has resolved.
Today it was perfect weather...I think 86 but no humidity!! Tomorrow more of the same. I will be "working from home"
BTW I got my bill for my sinus surgery...ok the surgery lasted an hour and half..JUST the surgeons bill....are you all sitting....$18,048!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My portion is $2208
I am not sure its correct that is crazy! I thought it was going to be $9k and my portion would be $900. I am stresssssssssssed.My ENT said he'd take a look at the bill he thought it sounded high.
YIKES!
Im off to bake ;...chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter buttercream frosting.
Di
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Di - I'd say that's high, hope it is reduced
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Didel: Good lord, I hope they fix that. Insane!!!
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Kate: Funny isn't it? I noticed the name similarities awhile ago.
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DiDel -- definitely have someone look at that bill. My uncle had surgery for prostate cancer a few years ago...looked at his itemized bill...there was a charge for a hysterectomy on there ! WHAT?!?!?! Anyway, just shows you weird stuff can happen...and I think some corrupt stuff goes on with billing too...or am I just cynical?
By the way...YUM.. your cupcakes sound delicious !!
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DiDel- If I'm going to pay someone that much per hour they better make me look 20 years younger when they're done! Unbelievable! Hope it all gets worked out.
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Di
del, do ask for an itemized bill. i had a very specialized ear surgery, where they drilled the ear, removed part of my epiglottis, yrs ago; due to MS. I have the highest paid ENT in
so fla, and it wasn't nearly THAT much!!!MJB, im glad he got the fluid out, and it won't flare again!!! im just getting ok to see the mirror, and its been a few yrs!!!............3jays
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NOW do you guys see why I say MBJ and Miller???? I started that months ago I guess on another thread we were on to separate the difference.
3jays, counting down the days till the 19th when you will get TAKEN CARE OF!!!! You don't have to fall this weekend because you won't be seeing anyone sooner than Tuseday!!!
As for my seizures, eh, couldn't care less really. I'm sort of done with caring about shit like that. I've signed up to see a physchiatrist though!! Good for me, eh? I have to see an intern for a 90 minute screening this month, then I see the Big Guy in August. So, do I 'open up' for the intern??? Or just see where they lead me? I need a lesson!!
I've decided to NOT follow the staging course. I don't have the attention span right now to learn something new or the motivation to hustle to get jobs. If I knew that I could just step into a position somewhere, I'd do it. But I really have no energy to hustle.
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woah, glad somebody pointed out the initial similarity thing--went right by me. Barbe I think you have the right idea--MBJ and miller. so much easier. What is your hesitation about "opening up" to the intern? I know what you mean about assessing out energy level--we have to be honest with ourselves.
DiDel--I think it was you--I like your cupcake therapy. I hope the billing mess gets worked out.
Kate--how do Arizonians survive in that heat?
I went for another walk today. This is the last day of nice temps here. I feel better today after walking than yesterday. Slept better last night, that's probably the reason. This is the last day my husband will be home with me ): I'll miss him next week, but I have to keep moving forward and so does he.
3jays--ms, too? That's a heavy load.
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Jen42--just saw your question about my dog--she's a mini austrailian shepherd. think border collie and you got the personality. German short-haired pointer--beautiful dog. My first job out of college was at a small publishing firm, and one of the mags we produced was Hunting Dog Magazine--no, I am not kidding. I was thrilled to get my name on the masthead as editorial asst. so I know all the hunting breeds. I hear you about the rescue thing--I will probably do that the next time. I just plain love dogs, but I do really love the aussie breed and we got Dixie from a breeder when she was a year old--she was headed for championship status but then she developed an underbite. I tell everyone she's a fallen diva.
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rowan- I ask the same thing about people back east and your winters- How do you survive that? Give me heat, any day! (I don't have to shovel sunshine! LOL!)
My dogs seem to enjoy it!
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Kate: Your dogs are adorable!!!
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Your doggies are soooooo cute!
My ENT called this morning about doing an allergy test...he must think I have a money tree in the back yard. I told him I am not doing anymore medical procedures until I get caught up on my bills. I also asked him to take a look at the billing that I could not imagine it was correct. He agreed. fingers crossed.
MBJ your billing story made me LOL...btw I got the book today!! I think I will start it Sunday afternoon. Today was filled with appointments.
I dropped some cupcakes off to my PS's office...a little brown nosing for some discounted botox on my next visit.
Good night all!
Diane
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Didel: I hope you like it!
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Kate-your doggies look like princesses on those chairs! That's funny you say that about the cold--I love the cold--especially when it is sunny and clear. We don't get the mountains of snow like other places so it's not too bad. and it is so beautiful and peaceful. everything is quieter after a big snow.
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VERY regal pups!! They do know their place....
I don't want to rip my heart open for the intern and then be empty for the big guy. Does that make sense? I went to a psych years ago and I'd just get going, crying my little heart out and he'd say 'okay, that's it for today.' Are you kidding me!!!??!? I just got going!!!! So I don't know how much this screening involves issues or thoughts or memories or what....I'll find out soon enough.
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Barbe--oh, I see, for some reason I thought you meant like an MD, like an internest....I think that's the word, I'm a little tired today.
I guess the intern's job is to sort of categorize your symptoms....take an inventory...I guess just trust your gut when you are with her or him.
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