Great saying about depression
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Hey everyone- I'm heading up north for a girl's weekend with my Mom and two sisters. Not sure what the cell phone coverage is like since it's a little pudunk (sp?) town and didn't want you to think I'd gone MIA again. It will be so nice to get away and even though it's only 2 hours away it is 30* cooler! Hope everyone has a wonderful depression-free weekend!
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justagirl: I hope that you get some great help with therapy. I have gone through therapy a few times in my life and it's always been a healing experience.
3jays: Everytime I turn around I have another dr's bill. It seems to be never ending.
Kate: I am so excited you are going to have a girls weekend away! How nice. I actally love moving and I am a bit of a gypsy. The only part I hate is the packing and getting there. It's going to be so much fun to re-do a new place and to start fresh. Really looking forward to it. Just hope we don't run out ofmoney so I can do all of the things that I planned on.
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hope ya'll are having a good day.. today was the day for the thyroid pill, so sick, swollen eyes, can't breath. im suppossed to take it everyday, but can't will see specialist Oct 5th.. i PRAY he's gonna listen...
im just wanting to get back to where i was, when this hypo hit.. funny, Joni Mitchell said it best in the 60's.. you don't know what ya got till its' gone..hahaha ...3jays
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3jaysmom: What kind of thyroid pill did they give you? I so agree with you and that song!!!
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((((((((((((((((( 3jays )))))))))))))))
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I think its funny that everyone who has chimed in likes to move around, start fresh with something new! Me too. When I lived in New York City I had 11 apartments in 7 years! Finally moved up that prized one bedroom, rent controlled, with a working fireplace! Ahhhhh, the fun days of my 20's!
Having a hell of a hard time since the drains were pulled. The fluid just keeps building under my arms and in the upper pole. Doc has ordered me to do nothing for two weeks--no washing dishes, clothes, moving my arms--no warm compress, massage, or PT either. Just sit down and stay there. If the fluid has not budged by next week he will go in to drain it.
His office sent me on an emotional roller coaster yesterday. Trying to schedule the exchange surgery and his billing office calls and says that if I have the surgery within 90 days of my revisional surgery (Sept 6) he will not be reimbursed at as high a rate if I wait until Dec. 6 to schedule the surgery. Well of course I am like "come on, you are going to make me wait longer than I have to?" My insurance company didn't know what they were talking about, so we made it a conference call. The doc assistants ran circles around the ins guy. Finally the doc gets involved and thankfully said "it is ridiculous to make her wait until Dec 6, she wants to get back to work, ins is crazy, let's just do it!" Of course my out of pocket remains at $5,000 per surgery, so I am glad he didn't raise it. So Nov 16 is my exchange. Hopefully this fluid goes down, I heal up and move on.
Debbie, I have been working with a wonderful coach/therapist/body trauma guru since last November. The body trauma part is fascinating and she really helps me gain perspective and put some positive visualization in place to heal and be peaceful through this whole experience. The two things I have taken away are balance and finding my voice. I had to call her three days ago for a tune-up with all that is going on. Glad we can do it by phone.
3jaysmom - I've had hypo thyroid since 1989 and am on synthroid. Is this what the pill is or are you doing some type of treatment? Do you have thyroid cancer? OMG, I wish the specialist could get you in before the 5th. This is not a pill that you can take every day with your reaction. Just one damn thing after another. So sorry and gentle hugs to you.
Yesterday, our housekeeper (Ruth) said she was given a piece of art last week by a wealthy lady she works for and she wanted to pass it to me. ?? The woman told her it represents a stong woman. Ruth said for me to put it in a place where I can look at it every day and repeat, I am a strong woman. Her daughter brought it over today and I LOVE it. I can't figure out how to get a picture on here, so I will post it on my blog later today at wolfwail.wordpress.com.
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hey guys.. this is the easiest form of synthyroid they can come up with.. its brand new, just T4 in gelatin cap, with liquid T4 in it... i don't know yet if its cancerous. they're doing a fine needle biopsy on Oct 5th.. i've waited 4 mos already; and "failed ( got sick on) every form of T4, or T3 they've tried... even bioidenticals... consensueassp? has it that my MS is now attacking my thyroid.. don't know WHAT we'll do if it is cancer.. no way can i take even this MILD form of T4 everyday.. we're shooting for 1/2 dose, w/is peds dose every 3 days... we'll have to wait n see... i don't know WHAT they'll come up with. my symptoms are real bad, at not much a disturbance of the TSH level.. its' the MS..we knew it would get worse, never saw THIS coming!!! thanks for all your concerns.. you guys are so kind to me........3jays
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3jays- I can hear how worried you are - I also wrote you on another thread. Hoping and praying it is not cancer! I know you need to get this biopsy done - then perhaps go to one of the big hospitals that specialize in endocrine problems?? I'm just so sorry about all this....... hate you are dealing with so much!
Lindsey, that is so sweet she gave you the painting. What a lovely thing to do. I'm curious about your trama guru - can you tell us more about that? Glad you got the surgery worked out. I don't understand why they make it so hard for us sometimes.
Aww Debbie I'm sorry you have having a tough time, it does get better once you get more used to these new "breasts". Sounds like your GP at least understands a little of what you are going through
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Happy Saturday!! Temps have dropped here in sunny FL to a bearable 75. Feels great, just sad I have to go to work this weekend. My DS is home from UF and I only get a few hours. Oh well.
Kate have fun on your weekend. Sounds like just what the doctor ordered! Lindsey, the trauma guru does sound intriguing, tell us more. Have you posted that picture on your blog yet? It sounds very special!! 3Jays, I am so sorry you have so much on your shoulders right now. You certainly have been thru the wringer. How is the thyroid problem affecting you? Seems like so many of us on these threads have mulitiple immunity issues, fibro, thyroid etc. Can't just have a little ---seems like the gods throw the kitchen sink at some of us!! Hugs to you and I will definitely be there in your pocket on Wednesday.
As for being a gypsy--I did that as a kid. My dad moved us about every year to year and half. Stomped the gypsy soul right out of me. My two older sisters have lived in the same town since they graduated college and have been in the same house for almost as long. I've moved a little as an adult but my kids have been in the same house since they started school. One of those things my sisters and I said we wouldn't do to our kids. Always hated being the new kid in class. Last one picked for everything. Funny how things like that effect us as adults!!!
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Claire, it was similar with me. I moved so many times with my parents divorce and other issues that I have plunked down and plan to stay put. This is my house and I feel very at home here! I have been here almost 20 years. 3jays - I am following your trouble and hoping for all the best for you. Waiting is sometimes the worst as we all know. You are waiting on a number of things and that is hard! Lindsey that painting sounds much like one of those 'meant to be things'. For something like that to just turn up for you is really interesting...sounds lovely. Diane - I am feeling for you. Stressors are a little harder to bear sometimes now. It seems even little things, or big things! can be so much with all the problems BC throws at us. Kate - a girls weekend sounds like a great thing right now. Good time of year for it. I am going with my kids, sister and her family and my elderly father to the apple orchard tomorrow for cider, donuts and of course apples. I can't believe fall is here! Had the strangest summer of my life. "The summer I got BC and had a mastectomy". Maybe it's best it's over but I almost feel like it just never happened. Summer I mean. Been ending things with the ex-beau. Giving him some of his stuff that piled up here and working out a few details. He plans to keep his work van here until he has a new place to store it on Dec. 1st. Me? I just want it, and him! gone. Now that it's over, baby it's over. Kids are beautiful and lovely. So blessed. I am certainly appreciating them more!!
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3jays: I too hope this isn't thyroid cancer! I have been taking Iodoral (iodine/potassium) sincemy diagnosis. I had growths on my thyroid and this has helped me greatly. It is common to have your own body start attacking the thyroid. If you are interested, check out breastcancerchoices.org and click on the link "Iodine". Lots of really good info on this site, though I don't agree with all of it. Big hugs!!!
Lindsey: I am sorry you are having such a rough go of it but I am glad they are keeping your exchange date and hope all goes well as planned. Hoping to meet with you before I move and before your exchange.
Did I tell you I am half Hungarian? Gypsy is my middle name, lol! I have probably lived in 20 places at least if not more. I am afraid to count! Buying this house for both my DH & I is our attempt at putting in roots-at least for a little while.
Kate: Thinking of you and hoping your are having an amazing weekend!
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I'm. Half Hungarian, too! And. Half French Canadian. Still usijg this small nextbook whichis awkward to type on, sorry for typos.
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thanks for all the well wishes, ladies..the ms just screws with the body for life long. i knew that when i was dxed with it, over 20 yrs ago.. it also won't tolerate many meds.. im so blessed, that i mananged to get it all done, chemo.. the 1st dense dose almost killed me, but the new onco i go; titrated it. i don't know what i would've done, otherwise.. but, it occurs to me; after bc; we're grateful for the STRANGEST things.. like im grateful they could get every drop of poison in me...
i appreciate all you caring. i've gotten used to a life with ms; pretty much.. and that includes not tolerating many meds. wish they could find an anti d that i could take..now,, THAT would be a real help..
but, life goes on, and we deal. a good phych eonce told me, the abnormal is only abnormal for a little while; then, its the New normall..kinda like the ride with bc, eh?.............3jays
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(((3jays))))
Barbe: I am Hungarian/French/Belgium. I have traced some of my family (cousins) back to the first settlers from France in Canada!
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Well that's why! Not a lick of Hungarian in me!! Just Scottish and German.Part of my family came thru Canada and lived for a few generations but they moved on to Nebraska. don't get me started--I dabble in my families genealogy. I can be truly annoying!!!
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Hi All! I have been reading but not posting cause my stupid computer is a little messed up and I didnt feel like dealing with it...we'll just say when I opened my laptop the screen popped and is hanging on crooked and I am afraid to move it. Of course cause its the last thing I can afford is a new computer. UGH.
I do appreciate my BCO ladies and all your support.
3jays I am so sorry you have to deal with so much. A friend of mine was diagnosed about 15 years ago with MS and I know she is on edge waiting for the first sign of progression. Fortunately she hasnt had any problems but I know its always with her. I am sorry you are having thyroid issues on top of it all. I hope you find some relief soon.
Lindsey I cant believe you still having fluid build up. I had my drains in for 3 weeks and I was still afraid of the build up. I thought keeping mobile helped resolve fluid build up??? Well take it easy and rest up.
Debbie things will get better once recon is behind you. I feel like it was a real boost once I was happy with how they looked. I will be thinking of you as i get my tattoo on Tuesday. I will be sending positive vibes your way for a smooth surgery and happy results! Now I have no idea when the expense of BC will go away. I am hoping by next summer I will have money to play with and do fun things. I am grateful as well to have everyone here to chat with...yesterday I literally spoke to my dog and cat and the clerk at Petsmart...that was it. It was a cold rainy day and everyone retreated indoors.
Today is the KICKOFF to the NFL pink october football game crap and this local BC Charity asked if I wanted to attend the game for the on field pre game hoopla. Oh but I had to have a ticket for admission to the game. I can't believe they would even ask that how ridiculous. You want me to stand there with some pink Tshirt on to promote YOUR charity and you cant even fork over a free ticket. Oh and its a Sunday night game so the whole world will see it...no thanks. I dont have an extra $150 bucks for the cheapest ticket Plus I havent told everyone I know that I had BC just that I had Cancer. PLUS it is freezing here today...49 degrees right now and will be just as cold at 8pm when the game starts..buuuurrrr
Stanzie...hope all is quiet and uneventful on the home front.
Kate hope it was a good weekend.
I am thinking of going shopping today and buy myself something i shouldnt
Happy Sunday everyone!!!!!!!
Diane
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Didel: Hate, hate, hate pink October. Such a huge money maker and so little actually goes to anything. So many pink scams and I also hate when they hit us up for money-it just adds insult to the injury. Hugs!!!
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I know...pink used to be my favorite color (when I was little since I was a twin I was always in pink/purple and my sister was always in blue/green). I dont mind it in the sense that it raises lots of money but you are right...some companies take advantage of it. And as for hitting us up...I got a BCO donation request yesterday in the mail. Good lord I just made a donation 3 or 4 months ago.
I am doing the SGK Race but I will wear anything but pink
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Diane, thank you for your good wishes. Wish it were tomorrow and the surgery was over!
I'm not in love with pinkoctober. I know it's good to make women aware of BC, but it's a reminder to my son of what I am still dealing with and it hurts him. If something hurts my son, it hurts me. Last year everytime I saw/heard a mention of pinkoctober I got super upset - it's not so bad for me this year. And truly, pink just doesn't seem like the color to associate with breast cancer: it should be black and grey!
I'm going to try and have a good week - I wish the same to all of you!
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Hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was nice and relaxing spending time with my Mom and sisters up north. So great to get away and out of the heat for a few days. The trip was 95.5% relaxation and .05% sheer terror. One of my sisters just loves playing practical jokes on my Mom even though she has asked her not to. One night she hid a fake rodent in my Mom's shower which, of course, scared her to death when she went to take her shower in the morning. My Mom decided to get even and scare her back. My sister was due to show up in the morning so my Mom layed on the bathroom floor motionless as though she had a heart attack or something. Only instead of my sister (who was late) it was me who walked through the door. I have never been more terrified in my life! I screamed "Mom!" and ran over to her. Of course, as soon as she realized it was me, not my sister, she sat up. She felt SO bad and kept apologizing. She really was just trying to teach my sister a lesson but boy did it backfire. That few seconds made me realize how much I would be devastated by losing my Mom. (BTW, my sister promises no more practical jokes!) But, other than that, it was a GREAT weekend!!! Lots of thrift and antique shopping and lots of laughing.
3jays- So sorry you are having to deal with all of these medical issues. I know how overwhelming it can all feel. It just seems they should have more answers on how to make things better for you. Hope this is a better week. (((hugs)))
Debbie- Hope your surgery goes well on the 4th and you're soon back home and feeling good!
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Deb and Diane I will light candles for both of you on Tues. I am sending you healing energy, and prayers that your doctors had a good nights sleep and a great breakfast! So much rests in our doctors hands that I like to pray for them too!
The piece of art I got is a statue. The top must be silver or pewter. I finally posted three pics of it on my blog tonight. (wolfwail@pobox.com)
The body trauma therapist that I see is Carolyn Braddock. I try to see her in Ojai, but it is 2 1/2 hours north of LA, so many of our sessios are via phone. Check out her website at:
http://www.braddock-body-process.com/index.html
I met her last Nov when I attended her 4 day retreat in Ojai CA. I just signed up for her next retreat Nov 2-6. I need an emotional, spiritual and physical boost (tai ji) before my exchange surgery on Nov 16. If you contact her feel free to use my name. You might just want to consider the retreat!
3jays: worried for you and hope u get good results on the 5th.
I haven't moved out of my chair for four days and the fluid continue to build. Going to see if he can drain it this week. I am shocked at how much pain I am having.0 -
Diane and Deb ---will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hope all goes great!! Lindsey, I can't believe you are having such problem with your drains! It's weird how our bodies react to change. I hope you find relief soon. What are you doing for the pain?
I agree with whole pink thing! I don't mind the focus on BC--just the pink EVERYTHING--if you buy this product we give 10% of profits to BC research--really where do you send the check?? Can I see an accounting of all those 10/%'s and see if how much is made in October. Just curious.
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Thanks Ladies!
Kate so glad you had a great weekend...you needed and deserved it! I am sorry you got such a scare with your mom but it made me giggle a little that your mom would do that to your sister! Surely there is another way she could get her back. I dont have that closeness with either of my parents so I cant imagine the sense of loss. I know with my friend who lost her mom I always tell her how lucky she is to have so many wonderful memories and photos and videos to look back on for comfort and a smile. I know it wouldnt ease the pain but I would imagine it would bring peace to know that you had such a great relationship and shared so many stories that you could pass on to your kids.
Lindsey I am no doctor but arent you suppose to move around to get the fluids moving out of your system? My doc told me to keep it moving or I would stiffen up and have fluid build up. I am sorry you are having so much pain...I think I would have him drain it today! You should not still be in so much pain this far out from surgery. You poor thing! I hope it gets better soon.
I am a little nervous about being done with my PS. He has been such an amazing support for me...I feel sad to not need a reason to see him every couple of months.
Oh how I wish the sun would shine...its another cold rainy day in Baltimore...blaaaaahhhh
Have a lovely Monday!
Diane
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Lindsey- The body trauma therapist sounds really interesting. I could probably benefit from that. I've had way too many "body traumas" to count! I'm going to check out her site. Thanks for sharing. Just curious- are you doing any arm/flexing exercises? I know after my MX I had a sheet of different movements I was supposed to do several times a day to get the fluid moving and into the drains. It really seemed to help. Hope you get some relief soon!
I have to say the whole pinktober thing makes me cringe. Yesterday, at my grocery store, the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to breast cancer research. I wanted to scream, "I gave them my breasts. What more do they want?" It was a young teenage boy, who seemed embarrassed to even say the word "breasts" so I refrained. It's only the 3rd though and I'm tired of it all ready.
Today is my DS's 15th birthday! Cannot believe how fast the time has gone. He'll be off to college before I know it. I had the whole family over yesterday to celebrate so it's been a busy weekend. After school it's birthday shopping (yes, he's reached the age where he picks out his own gifts) and then out to dinner.0 -
Kate: You are so lucky to have such a wonderful, close family! I love that your mother tried to get back at your sister and I am so sorry it ended up backfiring. Sounds like you still had an amazing time.
Lyndsey: I know nothing about fluid build up and swelling except to avoid certain vitamins like A and E. I am hoping something can be done to help you! I am going to check out your blog and this woman's site. Sounds interesting!
Diane & Deb: Good luck tomorrow-you will both be in my thoughts for a good outcome.
Pink: Bleh-hasn't been my favorite color since I was five and now I just hate it. I agree Kate-what more could we possibly give?
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LIndsey: Just tried to find wolfwail@pobox.com and came up nothing?0
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MBJ- I pull up Lindsey's blog at wolfwail.wordpress.com
Diane- Sorry you're not close with your parents. I am very lucky in that way. My Mom was a single parent for awhile and I think that brought my 2 sisters and I closer to her. My Dad was killed when I was just 20 but I had an amazing stepdad as well. I think it's hard to think about losing my mom because then I truly have to be the grown up!
Just got back from celebrating my DS, Jesse's birthday. We picked him up from school and gave him his first driving lesson! I officially feel really, really old! LOL!
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MBJ- no brain sometimes. My blog is at wolfwail.wordpress.com. You can see the strong woman statue!
I appreciate yr insight. Sitting around is not helping, so at the point of trying anything!
Kate - the image of your Mom on the floor is not one I would want to remember, so sorry it is in your memory and not your sisters!!!
Claire & Diane & Kate & MBJ - re fluid. I am sooo confused. Help. Drains have been out for 12 days now. I am experiencing swelling under my arms and now have puffiness and swelling in the high cleavage area. I did NOT have swelling this high up on my chest the first two weeks after my Sept 6 surgery, it only started swelling AFTER the drains were pulled. My drain CCs was in the high 30s when he pulled them out. Someone told me it should be under 20 ccs for three consecutive days before drains are pulled. I do not have a hematoma, so today PS said you have generalized swelling which is Okay, but there is nothing to drain. He said the more I move the more fluid will build up--so opposite of what you have said. Literally I've sat in my chair since last Thurs and I think the swelling is worse.
PS said when I see him next week he will probably rec some physical therapy but for now NO massaging or heat or exercises. someone told me wet heat would help, so even though PS said no I have been trying it today. Do you all think it would help to move around? Do you mean like walking around the block or watering the backyard or grocery shopping?
Claire - since I am allergic to most pain meds like percoset, vicodin, I am taking an opiate which is relatively new called Nucynta. No fuzziness after taking it. Because of blood clot disorder I cannot take any over the counter things like Aleve, ibuprofen, etc. So it is either this heavy duty drug or nothing. I have halved them and only taking it 4x in 24 hour period.
Sorry this is so long. I am willing to try anything for a couple of days if any of you had success moving the fluid out. My skin is so shiny we think it is going to pop!0 -
Debbie- since in Australia you are 17 hours ahead of us, I had my candle going today for you. I hope all went well! Holding you close I my heart!
Diane good luck tomorrow! The candle will be sending you healing energy!0 -
so much happenning here, i can't keep up!
1st, Kate: WHAT a sight to walk into!!! sorry it was you to see it.. but i think your'e moms a riot, tryimg to get your sis back.. i lost my mom a few years back, and my sister, this year. so, hearing that story made me sad/ happy.. memories are the things we hold on to after all is said, and done...im so glad you have such a close family with you....
Lindsey, im lighting a candle for you. thaat your pain recedes.. can't the dr. see you quicker? i know im missing alot of you; know that i pray for you gals here , in many ways, daily.
Depression alone is tough enuff, with the beast; et al that we deal with, it REALLY SUXS!!!
don't worry overly about the appt on the 5th.. im not expecting them to be able to do much.. its' the MS attacking different parts of my body.. for them to have progress with the thyroid, it will have to calm down some.. but, hope is eternal.. so, maybe he'll be sympathic, and try.. as soon as drs hear MS; they head for the hills, most of the time. i can't take antidepressants, (again, the ms) so, i just have to go along... im sure happy you're in my corner, but there's not much to be done.. as long as i keep moving, i keep both the ms, and depression at bay. you all know how it is,, one foot forward, etc...
hope better days are ahead for us all..
i hate pinktober, too. i have a new mascot.. ill post a pic of her.. she says how i feel...
awhile ago; lowrider was telling us that she was involved in some new movement to have stage 4 sisters recognized in that pink stuff.. then, they'd be helping the "forgotten " ones, and disallusion ple out of thinking the damned disease is curable (right now) we wait for the day it is... following are some messages from your sponsors...hahahaha......3jays
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