Great saying about depression
Comments
-
Thanks Claire, I do know that I gave her some reasons to be angry, but when she didn't react in anger, I figured she'd understood WHY I had to do something. I guess not!!! BUT, it wasn't "treating her VERY poorly", it was being a parent!! My sister thinks that now that she's a mom, Kim is wondering how I could have done some of the things I did!
I've heard that after an event, every person who experienced it would describe it in a totally different way!!! Makes it hard for cops who need witnesses!!!
0 -
Barbe, what is so sad about adult child-parent relationships is that the adult-child sometimes holds a grudge for a long time.Sometimes it takes till they have gone some real parenting that realize that being a parent is harder than they thought. I hope that is not the case for you. My sister has not forgiven my parents for something that happened 45 years ago. Their relationship is strained on her side--my parents don't have a clue that she is still fairly angry. Many years of therapy. The reason I ask about your SIL, is that both my BIL's do not like my dad( well, they tolerate him--my parents are oblivious to this all). They both listened to the tales of my sisters and have not forgiven my dad. After all these years, they have been someone to vent to for my sisters. Seems my BIL's are worst at "forgiving". Anyway, I wish I had some suggestions for you, I feel how pained you are. : (
0 -
Kate: I am not familiar with your dr's but knowing you, you have done your research. St John's is the best hospital on the West side. I had a bad experience at Cedar's Sinai and my Onc didn't want me to go there for his own reasons, but I think it really all depends on the dr. I had a "trainee" and I lost an ovary there many years ago without apology. Norris, where I went, was amazing for the personal care. Those are the only hospital's I am familiar with near Beverly Hills. I really hope they can help you! Hugs!
Barbe: So sorry to hear of all of your family troubles and I hope you can work through them. Hugs.
Claire: How was your vacation?
Determined: I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. I truly hate BC. Hugs.
Lindsey: Wow, I love a vision board that works that quickly! I hope you have a fast recovery after your exchange and I am glad you are doing well. Hugs.
0 -
Stanzie: That's a great neighbor then!
0 -
just a fly bye to say hello, i was here.. hope everyone is doing ok; if not well.. i'll be praying sunday, Barbe: you're on my bco gals calendaer now.. i hope DD gets over it. i know how dissapointed you've been, trying to see zach.. i also vote for grasmmie; even though im a nana..........3jays0
-
Hi ladies,
Lindsay what is a vision board?
I have an MRI next week due to ankle pain since June. Kind of scared about mets but then trying to keep it in perspective. If it is there isn't anything I can do at this point but wait to find out and treat whatever it is. Hopefully it is just tendon problems.
Barbe good luck on Sunday. I guess at this point all you can do is take each minute you get with your Zach.
Revision is sore but no big ripples at this point. My PS won't do fat grafting so if they come back big time I will have to go elsewhere.
I find that I still get tearful about all that is happening. How BC takes your life and forever changes your sense of spontaneous well being. Does it come back? Do you have to be out so many years before you feel safe?
I hope you all have a peace filled day
0 -
Claire- Welcome home! Hope you had a great vacation! I haven't had my consults yet. I fly out tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn. Will be back home tomorrow night.
MBJ- I have on my list of questions what facility they both use. One of the surgeons had 4 different places listed so I'll find out about that.
Determined- Aw, I can so relate to your fear. I've had this foot pain for weeks now. It's hard for our thoughts to not go to mets. Hope all is well on your MRI. And, yes, I still get tearful, too. In fact, been lying in bed all day feeling sorry for myself. I don't want to think about another surgery but don't want to feel like this forever either. Mad I have to put myself through it. And then feel guilty because I've had an easier time that a lot of women on here. Not even sure I can do this one more time but figured I'd at least go and see what these surgeons had to say. You summed it up perfectly- it forever changes your sense of spontaneous well being. I really really want that back.
0 -
Determined: Try and google Vision Boards. It's easy to do and it works!
Kate: My Onc has permission to work in several hospitals, too. This is what you want: options. One of my TNBC friends just had a huge, miraculous turnaround with Stage IV agressive cancer-after seeing a healer-two weeks later NED. She was on her "last chance" chemo-they had nothinng left for her and then-bam-gone. His name is Solomon Wicky. I read about this person many years ago-and he lives in Kentucky! I am going to go see him for my arm. He doesn't charge-just goes around helping people. I will let you know if I get any relief. Hugs!
0 -
MBJ how exciting about Solomon!!!! Kate, if it works for MBJ's arm, would you consider visiting her for your breast? I'd love to have some of my issues healed. I bet he accepts donations....!! Please let us know when you go MBJ.
Kate, I am so sad for you that your issues continue. You've worked so vigilantly and trusted your docs. It's like a slap in the face to still have concerns. What exactly is the issue at this point?
Thanks, all, for the good wishes for me and my DD. I wonder how long it will last? I can wait forever!
0 -
Determined, here's praying you "only" have arthritis or old-age!!!
Kate, google "plantar facitis" to see if that matches your foot pain.
0 -
Barbe so funny isn't it......... it is all relative. How I am praying for arthritis ha! Thanks so much.
My husband had plantar facitis and it can be quite painful. I believe he was told to do certain stretches when he first got up.
The powers of healing are so varied. I think if someone has been given that gift and is willing to share it without fee is amazing. I wish my friend Kathy could have seen him. Good luck MBJ with your arm!!
Kate good luck on the consults. That is one thing people don't understand about this journey either is that we have to become such strong advocates for ourselves to get what is needed. While that is never a bad thing it is taken to a different level in this journey. We learn not to be afraid to push back.
Ladies it is raining in Chicago. Good day to be working from home
0 -
Hello Ladies!!
Determined I am so so sorry about your friend. I will never understand why some women beat bc and some go so quickly. It saddens me to think about your loss. We are too young to be losing our friends. Ive had lots of random joint pain since going through chemo and taking Tamoxifen. Ive learned to appreciate how much estrogen really does for our bodies. When my joint pain was at its worse I did acupuncture (5 sessions) and by the 3rd session it was 80% better ny 4th session it was totally gone. I worry with every ache and pain too but I am learning to trust my onc and bloodwork. I did not have NSM I am having the nipple reconstructed and it flattened out (which happens) so my BS and PS think I should do one more time, then re do the tattoo and then I hope to never have surgery again. I didnt know you were in Chicago!! I LOVE Chicago!! I used to go for a week every year for work and even in the dead of winter what a great City!
Lindsay I am sorry you are heading back into surgery so soon but the exchange is a breeze in comparison to everything else plus you will be so happy to have the TEs out. I am surprised they are taking them out so soon. I will be in my onc appointment on that day..LOL wasnt I having surgery when you had surgery...anyhow, I will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way for a smooth surgery and speedy recovery.
Barbe so sorry you are having to deal with the emotional issue of your realtionship with your daughter and that it is effecting your relationship with your grandson. My sisters dont have the best relationship with my parents but they have never let that interfere with the relationship with the grandkids. We always say our partents are better grandparents than they were parents and I know my parents are grateful for the relationship they have with them. I am sorry your daughter doesnt feel the same. Hopefully she will come around and realize that Zach needs you in his life. I never had any grandparents but I know I wish I did. As a child you can never have too many people loving on you! I hope things get better
Claire how was your vacation! I wish I had money to go somewhere and someone to go with ...and someone to watch my puppy while I am gone. My friend is heading to Costa Rica next week to celebrate her 40th bday and pre BC I would be right there with her..But I am just not up to going ..too many things to worry about..and that lack of desire for spontaneity.
Oh well next year....I hope. MBJ what a wonderful man to offer his services for free! I hope it provides you some if not all relief from your shoulder pain. My neck is not feeling any better...I will call my dr tomorrow. I may just try a massage and see if that helps. Although I hate people rubbing on me...well strangers. I hope you are enjoying your new home and neighborhood. Today is a beautiful fall day..loving the trees this time of year. In another month it will all be bare trees so I am soaking in while I can.
I hope everyone is well!! Have a great day!
Diane
0 -
Didel: My PS is supposed to be doing a trial with an implant so the nipple doesn't flatten. I am hoping to be part of the trial when he does it as mine flattened out, too. The trees here are just gorgeous!
0 -
Well back to work and absolutely wishing I was still on a boat sailing in the middle of the Atlantic. It was definitely relaxing and fun to spend the time bonding with my sisters. We are not the rowdy type--well my sisters aren't-- but we still let our hair down a little. My sister is jealous of how my hair has grown back so healthily(is that a word?) and hers is real thin and fragile(she went thru chemo 2 years before me). Anyway, back to work and miserable. Surprise, surprise. My DH went out and bought me a new Kia Soul while I was gone (my car is an older soccer mom beat to hell van). Where I am very grateful, it means another payment that we have to make--meaning I can't walk away from my job now. Kinda think that was his way to tell me suck it up or force my hand to FIND another job. This is where I get whiny and full of self-pity. . . I have worked hourly service jobs ever since graduating college--never having a "real" 9-5 job. Nights, weekends and holidays. I have missed so many of my kids activities its sad. My fear about job searching is that I don't have a "skill" --I am computer illiterate--no matter how much I try it is a foreign language to me. Wah, wah, wah. i don't have a "calling"-- don't have an idea of anything that I want to do. Its fair to say I have NO PASSION. Nothing excites me. And that was before BC!! Oh well. Enough pity party.
Sorry for the rant ladies. Today is just one of those days I just want to quit. Just want everything to just go away. Tired of all the business in my brain.
0 -
Claire- If it helps I'm in exactly the same place. I never really had a passion, either, so ended up in jobs rather than careers. It was always something a little quirky, too, (amusement park operator, singing waitress, old thyme studio photographer, tennis club receptionist and then flight attendant) which was fun but didn't really prepare me for this job market. I know I should go back to school but for what? I think I've been so focused on the BC thing so I don't have to think about what is after that. Am also not too computer savvy so am not feeling too marketable right now.
On a bright note my appointments with the PS's in Beverly Hills went great yesterday. I absolutely LOVED Dr. Koplin and his office. He spent over 2 hours with us and is not recommending I do any more surgery right now. He really feels a lot of my issues will continue to improve and that physical therapy can speed things along. He thinks I need to heal more and is concerned about any more surgeries right now because of the extensive Alloderm my first PS used. He said every time they open me up I'm at a much higher risk of a dangerous infection. He wants me to give it some time and if things don't get better he has a plan of action that I am in agreement with. If I do any more surgery he would definitely be the one I would go with. I think he is genuinely caring as he could have just said yes to the surgery and collected his fee. So am feeling much better about the whole thing thinking things can get better without another surgery (which I really wasn't ready for) but if not I have a plan and a doctor in place. (Now just have to come up with the money! lol! Better start looking for that passion!)
Determined- I've been so stressed about these appointments I think I missed in your post about your friend. I am so sorry. It just seems so unfair. It does put things in perspective, though, because I sometimes forget this is a fatal disease. I'm sorry things didn't work out to spend more time with your friend at the end. I know that must have been hard. Hope everything is healing well from your surgery, too, and that you get some great results because you deserve it! Just wanted to say you're in my thoughts and sorry I didn't comment sooner. (((hugs)))
0 -
Claire and Kate33, Career passion or not, you both bring so much love and joy into the world. Thank you for doing that.
0 -
Happy Friday everyone.
Thanks Kate, I am so glad she got my card the day before she died. I still can't believe she is gone as she was only diagnosed a month before me. Glad your appt went so well!!! Hope the healing continues and PT helps.
I am sore still it is 2weeks. More active so maybe that is part of it. No ripples yet
Same size but smooth instead of textured and I think I am a bit smaller which doesn't make sense. Who knows. ha. Yes I agree sometimes we forget how deadly this can be and the real reason we need to donate to research. I am definitely going to be looking after the first of the year for a breast nurse navigator job or any type of nurse navigator. That is my new passion. What a difference it makes to be passionate about ones job. I use to be about my current but not so much since BC and my desire to work with other women.
MBJ what is the trial. That is my next step and I am so concerned about it since I have my original areolas. Well one is about 1/4 gone.
Claire I so wished you had more happiness in your job. Go to your happy place and think of your cruise
imagery I think it is called. I hear it really is suppose to work.Claire thanks for the info on acupuncture.
Have a great weekend everyone.
0 -
that's a perfect way to explain ...thank you
0 -
Kate: I think that any job that has you working with the public would be a good choice for you: Public Relations, Property Management, Sales. None of these jobs are ones you go to school for but they are more of a life skill kind of job. I am so glad you found a dr. you feel confident and comfortable with who isn't just pushing more surgery. I hope it all works out for you. Hugs!!!
Claire: I don't know you well enough to know what you are good at or what you are passionate about, sometimes one just has to go back to what they loved as children and explore that. We all have plus and minuses and I am sure you will findo your passion.
Determined: As soon as I know more about the trial I will keep you all posted. I am just as in the dark as anyone else on it.
0 -
Kate, so glad that your appointment went well!!!!
Claire, you WILL find a job you love...trust us!
Hugs to all....
0 -
Kate, Oh you just sound so much better! It sounds like he really did listen to you and has your best interests at heart, how wonderful!
Barb, I'm so sorry things have not improved with your daughter but really am so sorry about your relationship with your Grandson. My Dad died 6 months before my boys were born, my now ex-husbands step mother died in 2002, his mom in 2003 and my mom in 2004. My daughter was 6 and my son's had just turned 8. I wish everyday that they could better remember all this wonderful loving people who were only in their lives such a short time. You daughter will regret taking away his opportunity to spend time Grandparents. We were not given a choice. My ex's father is still alive but he hasn't been doing well for a few years now so the visits are very short and it isn't anything like it was when they were little and again they don't really remember how full of energy he used to be. It makes me sad that by the time my kid's have children I'll be an older grandparent as well. Surely there is some book out there about how important Grandparent relationships are so at least if your daughter is angry with you right now at least she wouldn't deprive her son.
MBJ - I'd be interested as well about the trial. I was so disappointed in my nipples. I had the lat surgery which I'd take back if it could as I'm still in pain from that and from what I can tell always will be. Anyway, my PS kept saying over and over the only risk when doing the nipples is having too strong of "headlights". Well, wrong! my immediately went flat and his answer oh yeah that can happen too. He told me so many times that the back skin is so "robust" he never has trouble with that.... Figures it didn't work for me. What I hate is if don't want to wear a bra which I don't as the extra fat under my arms and the deep scars on my back make it so painful to wear any bra, well then what shows in clothes, bathing suits isn't nipples it is the flat weird creepy circle of skin. It not only makes me want to cry but really makes me just feel repulsed by the whole thing.... At times I'm just so angry at that doctor don't know what to do, but right now I'm also at an I'm scared of more surgery now since it always brings more complications.
Determined - very sorry to hear about your friend - how awful.
I'm still so freaked out by the burgulary that I walked in on, I'm having trouble doing much of anything. I know I was very lucky, I didn't get hurt, they didn't get much but it is still hard. I find myself now locking and alarming myself in my house and not wanting to leave which I know is bad. and then last Sunday I was late to my daughter's Ultimate tournament and my gate acted like it was possessed opening and closing and opening and closing so I couldn't drive out. Now I know I could have just turned the whole thing off but I couldn't make myself leave without being able to shut the gate, it just still upsets me so.
0 -
Stanzie- My sister had a break-in about 5 years ago. They actually climbed through her doggy door while she and her DH (and her very large, but deaf dog) were asleep upstairs. She said it took her a long time to get over the feeling of uneasiness in her own home but that it does get better. (Huh, they say the same thing about BC! Only it's uneasiness in our own bodies. Guess we've had our own "home invasion".) Anyway, I can understand exactly how you are feeling if that helps. I know you must be so angry having that peace of mind taken away from you by a couple of thugs. It would tick me off, too. I really think the penalty for this crime should be much higher just based on the emotional toll it takes on someone. It's not about the loss of stuff (though losing some of your Mom's jewelry would be traumatic in itself) but they robbed you of much more. I'm so sorry this happened on top of everything else. It just seems so unfair when you are so giving and kind.
barbe- I'm sorry your daughter is withholding your grandson. It reminds me of custody battles where the ex pits the kids against the other. It's so wrong. She's only depriving her son. There's something about the relationship between a child and a grandparent that can't be duplicated anywhere else. I know with my Grandma, who lived to be 100, that I received such wonderful unconditional love that still carries me through today. I hope things resolve soon.
0 -
Elizabeth1889- Forgot to add that your kind comment just made my day yesterday. Thank you!
0 -
Kate33, So glad I could help.
0 -
Hello Ladies!
Ive been reading but not posting...its been a weird couple of days.
I had noticed my neighbor..the alcoholic fresh out of rehab...had not been out of his house in two weeks...I hadnt seen him. I usually see him smoking on his porch a couple of times a day but in the last two weeks nothing. Well Thursday I noticed he didnt put his trash out and his kitchen lights have been on for days...I thought to myself I need to call his daughter to see if he was ok. He had been drinking the last time I saw him, was incoherent and couldnt even stand up..kept teetering over..so his family had been coming over every couple of days to check on him but no one was there since the weekend. Well about an hour after my post I heard sirens that stopped right in front of his house. I looked out the window and saw that his daughters car was there...I saw the EMS run in with their equipment and minutes later walk out return the equipment to their truck and the fire dept left...their faces said it all...his daughter (19 years old) was whaling on the porch so I ran over there..she didnt have to say it her tears said it all.. Mike was dead. He had been dead for 4-5 days according to the ME. So so so so sad...his life was so hard these past couple of months (maybe years). He mustve felt so lonely and hopeless. It breaks my heart to realize he had no one but his too young daughter who was away at college and came home cause she was worried. I tried to reach out to him but he literally locked himself away in his house for the last several weeks. When I would text him "are you ok?" it would take days for him to respond he "yes" He was only 55!! His daughter said she just knew she was going to find him dead one day and didnt understand why her and her brothers love wasnt enough to make him stop drinking. I told her I had no answers for her but she did all she could...addiction is a powerful disease and we can't understand it unless we've been there. I feel so sad for him and his family. How frustrating and helpless they mustve felt to watch him struggle. So very sad.
Stanzie sorry you are still feeling frightened. I can sort of understand. When someone tried to break into my fortress (alarmed at every corner, window, floor) I only fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion with all the lights on. It took several weeks for me to feel safe again.
Kate so glad you found a good dr who thinks you are on the right path without more surgery. I did the same thing at one point and much appreciated the honesty of the other PS with regards to my recon. Hopefully in time and more PT you will feel some relief. You definitely do sound better.
MBJ glad you arrived in Kentucky in time to see the changing colors of fall. Its my favorite time of year. I am curious about the trial as well. I am going in on the 21st for one last shot at a nipple.
OK so here was my really crappy friday...for those of you who may have caught my FB status...So According to my calendar...I had a physical scheduled with my PCP at 945am Friday. I am not a morning person and for me to get on the other side of town in the morning is quite a task. So I arrived promptly at 945 to be told my appt was at 1115 and why was I there so early ...the doctor is not even here!? (snippy bitchy tone of receptionist) I said I was told 945 I have it written down and in my calendar as such. so she said well he is not here so you will have to wait or come back...do you wanna come back?? I said WELL I GUESS I DONT HAVE A F%^&ING CHOICE DO I and stormed out and in my 5 inch heals ended up having to wander the nearby Mall to kil time. So I go back and doc decides he wants me to take Singulair for my asthma and refilled my Lipitor rx...then I had to get completely naked except for my "underpants" as he called them even my socks! I was mortified as no one except my BS and PS has seen my recon side. I felt so embarassed but at least I got it over with. I just cant imagine showing it to anyone outside the medical profession. So anyhow,,,I head to the pharmacy..where for the 3rd day in a row I had to come back to get my rx as they were hours behind. UGH!! So I go home come back 4 hrs later...still not ready ...wait another 20 mins...to see that the Lipitor was $356 and the Singulair was $120!!!! Really are you F*&^%Ing kidding me...which yes I believe I said out loud..and the clerk goes...you havent met your deductible...to which I said Lady I have met my deductible and then some!! So I retrieved my scripts and stormed out! I got on the phone with my insurance company to learn that I have A SEPARATE DEDUCTIBLE FOR NAME BRAND PRESCRIPTIONS????? Since When???? So ridiculous...to which I said Lady You are F*&^ING killing me! and hung up...and cried in my car in the parking lot of the pharmacy for about 20 minutes. Thats ok Aetna I dont need to breath or unclogged my aerteries.
So here I am cant get my asthma meds and lipitor doesnt go generic for another month. I really dont want to pay $120 for Singulair so I will go without. I will call my doc in the morning to see what he can do. I just flat out refuse to pay that outrageous price. I looked online and its not much cheaper. These drug companies should be ashamed of themselves. Maybe if they didnt pay millions every year to advertise and court doctors they could afford to lower the price. So my Thursday and Friday sucked! Heres hoping tonight is better.
Thats my weekend rant...but reserve the right to return and rant tomorrow if needed...
Diane
0 -
Diane- What a sad story about your neighbor. His kids are lucky he at least had a neighbor like you looking out for him and alerting them when something was wrong. It's sad it had to end that way, though. That he couldn't take the help that was offered to him. At least now his personal demons have been layed to rest but so sorry for his family. And for you. I know that you truly cared about him. Sorry for your lousy week, too. My DH's Parkinson's meds are through the roof, too. It's ridiculous. One of the PS's I just saw wrote me a script for Singular. She said it helps prevent CC, in case that was what was happening. I found out it wasn't generic, though, so would have cost me over a $100, too, so I didn't fill it since she couldn't even say for sure if I was developing CC. Sometimes I wonder if the doctors get some kind of kick back by prescribing this stuff or if they truly don't know how expensive it all is. Same with medical tests half of which are probably unnecessary. OK, guess that's my rant for the day! lol! Meet back here tomorrow?
0 -
Diane, you win this week's piss-off! What a week, so sorry for all your chaos. That's bologna about name brand drugs; if there is no generic to offer, then Aetna should cover the name brand!!! Did they 'splain that one????
Kate, what is CC? Chronic cough?
0 -
Thanks ladiies...last night I went out for a much needed Orange Crush YUM! It was nice to get out for a couple hours with my girls.
I am going to shop around today at the pharmacies to see if I can get the singulair cheaper. My asthma has been so bad these past few days even with symbicort i need to break down and pay the outrageous costs.
Hope everyone is having a good sunday...today it is a beautiful fall day in Baltimore and now if the Ravens could just kick some Steelers A$$ that would really make my weekend!!
Diane
0 -
barbe- CC is capsular contracture. It is when a hard shell forms around the implant. It can cause the breast to harden and create pain. I was starting to develop it prior to the last revision so am paranoid about it.
0 -
Damn, Diane. What a crappy weekend. And I thought mine was bad. You win. I agree with you about docs and drug kickbacks. Why all of a sudden are there NO generics for anything?? Seriously? Only a drug costing hundreds of dollars is going to work?? My dad was trying to get his colonscopy done and his doc will ONLY prescribe a medication that costs over $100 for the prep work. Really, can't just do 2 bottles of castor oil like I did for my first probe many years ago?? last month when I had mine done my prep (prescription) cost $1.88. That just has to be one serious colon prep!!!
0
