Great saying about depression
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Just a quick note before I go off to work.. .have my resignation letter in my pocket. Scared shi*less. But I know its right. My sanity is what I miss most.. . .
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Good luck, sweetie!!! It's just as hard to quit a job as being fired...but remember what I said a number of pages ago...You don't quit a job, you quit a boss! Does your company have "Exit Interviews"? If so, maybe you could say you would possibly be happier at another location. That's a good way to say you don't like management where you are!
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Welcome FLWarrior I take One A Day VitaCraves...and yes they are yummy and the person who invented them are GENIUS! I just could not do the horse pills anymore...you know for dogs they make BEEF flavored medications...so its about time we learned something from our pets...LOL
Marylou sorry you are feeling sad...I blame everything on Tamoxifen!! LOL ...seriously though you are new in your diagnosis and still going through treatment...you should allow yourself to feel what you feel..if the people around you dont like your mood thats there problem...tell them you'd trade places with them in a heartbeat. You will feel better once your body is healed from treatment and surgeries etc. I always say the one thing I wished doctors would tell their patients is how long of a process it really is...I think the more prepared we are to give up two years of our lives the less depressing it would feel. We put so much pressure on "getting back to normal" when we should put all our efforts into healing our bodies...then our minds...you will wake up one day and realize that you feel better ...and that day by day ...slowly each day will get better. Hang in there!! We are here for you anytime!!
Claire my motto is when I start crying over WORK its time to leave...you should never have to put yourself through tears and anxiety for $$...time to move on..I hope you have a great day...and that the weight of the world is lifted from your shoulders after submitting your resignation letter..one time I quit a job and I think I hummed and danced around until lthe day I DANCED out of there..Kudos to you for making yet another difficult decision.
I am off to get my bloodwork done for my three month onc appt next wedensday...then I have a milltion errands for my friends bday party tonight...have a great day!!!
Love you ladies!!!
Diane
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Claire good luck!!! If you know in your heart it is the right thing to do you will feel so much relief when you leave that place today!!!!!
Barbe I am glad that you had your son with you. I think it is good for them to see how hurt you are even though it is hard to let them see it. I will keep hoping that it will resolve with time, sooner rather than later!
I saw an article at one point about why you are NOT suppose to tell a cancer patient to stay positive. It made total sense.
Marylou this is where you can vent and not put on the pollyanna pink face.
3jays thanks, I am so hoping it is soft tissue injury. I just am concerned because I haven't exercised in a month or more and if I do any walking it gets sore right away almost. But what is in there is there and now I just have to find out what it is. I am scared though I have to admit.
I hope everyone finds some joy this weekend.
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FLwarrior- Just wanted to say welcome and that I can empathize with the job hunting as I'm doing it too. So hard when we're already feeling so vulnerable to have the rejection of not getting hired thrown on top of it. (At least for me, anyway!) I feel like BC has knocked the self confidence right out of me even though, in a lot of ways, it's made me stronger. (But still REFUSE to say anything good has come of BC!)
Marylou- Welcome to you, too. If it helps everything you described is pretty much how I feel on a daily basis. Maybe not every hour of every day but it's there. I always wonder about the women who seem to sail through all this without a (emotional) mark on them and I think there has to be a lot of "faking it" going on there, too. Or massive amounts of denial. I think everyone is going to experience some kind of loss and how can you not grieve for that? This is a great thread for "hanging out" with others who get it, who don't fake it and are here to listen anytime. We don't assign time frames for moving on.
barbe- I never thought Alloderm was a big deal but decided to google it. I thought what was interesting is there were a huge amount of hits from lawyer sites offering to represent patients who have gotten it. WTH? Funny how my first PS never mentioned a single risk. Anyway, it's been linked to pain and infection so if down the road I could get rid of it I would.
Claire- Good luck today! I hope before you go you get a chance to tell your boss how her actions created undue stress on a cancer patient. And that you are praying there is kharma for someone like her! I still can't believe a woman would treat another woman going through BC like she has treated you.
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There are so many ways to do things and pros and cons. So it makes it so much more difficult to know what way to go.
I think part of the journey is that some days we can accept this more than others. It changes all the time.
I agree no one if they are honest gets through this without a huge trail of tears and then at times peace
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i understand, determined.. i've wet the pillow, and for sure, the weeping and wailing in the shower for all this...I still can't face the miyr.. between the scars, no boobs, and my hair. not to mention my skin drying up like a pruen!!! i've aged 20 years...
i din't have to anx over recon. they flat out refused me. almost lost me on the or table removing them... so, after all the stories i've heard, i know I did the right thing(NOT that I had a choice)
now, i just strap em on, when i wanna. can't get with the silicone ones, and am still wearing powder puffs for after surgery; or just poufs that you wash with.. somedays, i just don't wanna face it all... im becoming a recluse!hahah..........3jays did you turn in the resignation letter?
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Determined- I've had my own trail as well but it does seem to be getting better. I can actually go longer than 10 minutes now without thinking about it. The hardest part is in the morning when I realize how much these things don't feel like me- and I can't take them off. I guess that's when reality hits that this truly is my new reality. But it seems to be ever so slightly less shocking with each day. I'm coming up on the 2 year anniversary of my DX so maybe that 2 year mark really is the magic number?
One of our neighbors had a happy hour last night. It was a beautiful Arizona sunset as we sat by their firepit and drank pumpkin martinis with most of our friends around. While it was great, and I absolutely love our circle of friends, ever since BC I feel isolated in a way. I look at all my female friends and think the odds of getting BC are 1 in 8 and there are 8 of us. Feel like I took the bullet for the group. Guess I'm jealous in a way that they are all whole even though I wouldn't wish this on any of them. I hate feeling that way.
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3jaysmom- I am there with you everyday I can't look in the mirror the scars are horrible, I am bald and I am fat! I don't know why I am fat and not wasting away, I can't eat I can't sleep and all I do is stress. I actually had a friend tell me after I was diagnosed that this was the heaviest she had every seen me.
Kate33 I am glad that you are getting better about the way you feel about yourself maybe 2 years is the magic number. Don't feel bad about feeling jealous I catch myself staring at other womens boobs and wanting to cry, I didn't think I was ever going to be one of the why me crowd but I guess I am.
As things stand with me the depression worsens even though within a couple of months I should get real implants which I thought would make me happy, at least a little, as it turns out the things that I thought would make me feel better are now making me feel worse.
The fact that they can pretty much guarantee I will get this cancer back within the next 10 years is waying heavy on me, I am not sure if I can go through this again, I am positive my friends cannot
My husband has moved on (it was coming before the diagnosis) he is kind enough not to divorce me because the insurance is his. One of my best friends is way too busy for me these days, she has always been very busy she has a very important job that I admire and this month she is going to try to meet me for my treatment which is great except I fly out of her city every three weeks for treatment and unlike before I had cancer I am too big of an impact on her husband's life for me to stay with her now. My other best friend has gone so far out of her way to help me it is amazing but (and there always seems to be a but...) somehow in her mind I should be up every morning fighting this. She freaks out that I take antidepressants, painkillers and multiple supplements, God bless her, this is her style she fights everything head on and I respect her for it but I can't do it, not now.
So here I sit typing away at four in the morning hoping that someone out there can relate to me and have some words of wisdom. I am also hoping that all of you that are doing better don't read any of this and feel worse! The last thing I want to do is make feel people worse about their own problems, this is just the first place I feel anonymous enough to say what's on my mind.
Thank you everyone for all your support and I apologize for anyone I made feel bad.0 -
Marylou, this is a safe place to vent. I believe we are all depressed enough that someone else's post won't make it worse!
You can say whatever you want here and we will not chastise you. I feel you are holding back and have the need to say more. We have even discussed suicide here if that's what you're afraid to say.It does help to put it all down in type that you can re-read and share with others. Just knowing that someone else is reading your story and commiserating really makes a difference.
Here's some hugs for you {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Marylou }}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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barbe1958- ty for reading and not judging I am not sure I am at the suicide place yet, but I am holding a lot back! Where do you start when all the people you count on bail? Where do I go from here? It may sound silly but I was brought up in Ireland and we were taught not to show our emotions and right now I have nothing but raw emotions to deal with.
If my friends and family (I only have one sister here in the states) have given up on me, or think I am not trying hard enough i.e. bald is not bad, the scars can be covered and who cares if you have boobs again is the advice I am getting, it makes it a little hard to go on.
I want to go back to school, I have been a computer geek for 25 years, I thought I might get the degree to go with it while I can and everyone tells me it is a waste of time, I am too old, no one will hire me because I have cancer so what's the point
So here I sit.......0 -
:::::hugs:::: Marylou,
I really want to respond to you, but I know it will be lengthy...I may PM you. I'm at work right now so can't spend too much time...
Just wanted to reach out to you and let you know that, as another one who had to rebuild her life from scratch, under different but similar circumstances, don't give up hope... ever!
It'll be alright...I promise. For now, just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.
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marylou my heart is breaking for you. To hear words from people who are healthy and have their breasts and/or health is so hard. It is so very easy to tell someone to not let it upset you when they are whole and normal and intact. It makes you sad and angry and doesn't help one bit.
It can be very isolating and that is why support groups of women who have gone through this are so helpful. Is there one you can go to in your area. No one knows what it is like or the different layers and the complexity of this disease unless they have had it. If you can find one to go to I think you would find it really helpful. I am not a support group type person at all and I have been going for 1.5 years to one. It has helped so much. We can all relate and vent and help the newbies.
I too came from a family where you just dealt with it. So accepting that what you are feeling is normal and it doesn't mean you are too weak, or not fighting hard enough, or not staying positive. It means you have had a life threatening, body changing, complex diagnosis that will impact the rest of your life. Honor what you have been through. It has been so difficult. Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel or handle this. Do it the way that is best for you.
I hope you can find a support group. I have weeded out those that I found to be toxic in thier comments or friends of convenience. Hard and sad but more healthy in the long run.
take good and gentle care.
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Barbe, It saddened me when I read your last post. You sound so discouraged. Taking medication sucks... Just like this whole BC thing. I only take 12 pills in the morning and 4 at night (not including vitamins,etc., and no pills for fighting BC yet). Unfortunately, like you, I have to take them. Sometimes, I feel like I will puke or do, I can't think or remember. I hate it cause my days become a blur. For you, it is more difficult.
Barbe, I am just new to the BC world and have read a lot of threads that you posted suggestions information and support. You are a wise, thoughtful and intelligent woman. What I got out of your responses has really helped me through the past 2 months. I wish I could take way all your suffering and need for medication. You have helped me in that I can regroup and am not needing anti-anxiety drugs right now. There are a few women I would have liked to have met and you are one of them.
Barbe you are a wonderful woman and I have heard the strength you have through your postings. Including tips on taking care of self.
Lean on me as I have leaned on some of your words. I have a smile in my heart when I think of you in the beauty you are as a person. I have sadness when think of the hardship your body is going through.
I am sending you a big hug and wishes for good health and happiness
Take care of you.
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Marylou, Big hug and a listening ear. This whole thing, from mammo to diagnosis to treatment and beyond puts your mind and body through the wringer. This isn't the way I expected life to be, nor does anyone who has BC. (please that I am just starting this journey and J have gone from tears to shrugging it off, disbelief or bad dream syndrome; binge eating to insomnia: head in sand to action plan.
I have not met my BS yet or had surgery or developed an action plan.
That being said, I have seen friends turn away, my daughter blames me for making her upset that I have BC and listening to my dad go from sounding happy to frail. I haven't heard from him or my out of town siblings since I told them. Who we are is not a disease... It is our bodies and they're not contagious.
I am so sorry that depression has you in its arms. It is a horrible place to be. I've been there. The problem with this illness is it's an emotional roller coaster filled with heartache and pain. Reaching out helps as there are other arms reaching back. As mentioned support groups, this website, those still at your side and if necessary professionals. When we are stricken by a tragedy, serious illness or life change (like divorce), our circle of friends change; some leave, others come on board. I think it"s b/c people have difficulty dealing with certain things. We can"t change that even if we are disappointed or our hearts are breaking. (my ex came to hospital when I had stomach problems and told me he was marrying someone else - couldn"t deal with my being sick- i'm well over that) I guess what i'm saying is people cope with things by facing them or escaping and sometimes that ends a friendship (at least for a while.
I have been reading through a lot of threads and have found there is a real outreach of support, caring and understanding. I have just glanced through the board after my tears falling like rain thunderstorm happens. Living alone I have no one to talk to. I have found comfort in that. It's too bad you can't just snap your fingers and you could talk to that person in person
Just like I wish we could wish on a falling star and all cancer would be cured.
I hope I didn't ramble. I feel such sadness when I hear someone going through hard times and/or depression. Especially fighting depression and physical illness.
It's one hour at a time, one day at a time. Try and find something that brings you joy and can take your mind off things for a while... Even if yits just for a few minutes getting outside (dress for weather, looking uo at the sky and talking a few deep breaths, colouring, may help most importantly try to take care of you. That can be hard; proper eating, fluiid intake, sleep, some exercise... I hope I'm not lecturing...just what I've learned (note: I find that hard to do)
Enough
I do hope you get some peace and happiness. All the women here are just a dialup away... And we're in your corner(please note some of the above is me thinking out loud...I think it reminds me to remember)
Take care of you. Wishing you days where the sun peeps through the rain clouds until it shines and opens up the sky to blue and the rainbow spreads over the horizon.0 -
Thanks all for posting on this thread -
I'm a relative newbie, diagnosed 9/27/11 and 5 days post-op BMX. I've pretty much held it together the past month, but have had waves of depression and fits of crying the last few days. I'm surprised at how much anxiety I have, I thought that surgery would be the hurdle and things would get easier from then on. The hardest emotional time for me is right now.
It's so helpful to read everybody's posts - I echo so many thoughts here.
Thank you for sharing ~
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matylou: i'm so sorry that you find yourself in this dark place right now.. it does pass; and then, it comes back again.. that's how it is for me, at least... i
i'm way ahead of some of you, time wise as far as tx; but not as far as the whole emotional thing...
i also tended to "hold" things bf bc. but the chemo changed all that. i got really sick, and i think i butned out all the extra synapses dealing with getting thru it.. Life wasn't "kind" to any of us, BEFORE we dev. bc; so, its' worse at times, now...
we don't have any options here,but to deal.. it's in our face everyday, and we're not dead from it.. that means to me, we need to find a way to live with it... that, we all have that in commo; from there on, its' different..some of us were warriors,at least I was.. but this disease , as well as my general health, has beat that out of me. and, for me, thats' ok.. we don't have to be these warriors, these fighters, not all the time.. i have been trying to learn what i need strength for, day to day; so i have some when i need it.the one thing i have gotten the most from this ride, is to accept who, and what I am.. with all my faults, my depression, my sadness. i don't drown in it, if i can come here, and find women like you, and others, that are strong enough to admit how they're really feeling....
its no picnic, and i've really come to realize that old adage": those who know, don't judge, and those that judge don't matter...." i've found i don't really let people who don't know the journey, have much interaction with that side of me... they won't understand, so why fuss with them> i agree, a support grou[, IRL; will help. We have "Gildas' club here, but i only go to the bc group.. the rest is just too much trouble right now.. i can't get behind the "raa raa" attitude..
i don't know if any of that helps, bc i have NO words of wisdom.. i struggle, i rest for awhile, and then i get up again...
becqause its' just too much of a waste to NOT have a life, afterall i've done.. but, i get to decide what kind of life it'll be. and, i do that a day at a time.. and, somedays are more whole, than others, more full than others...
I really think if you have the get up and go; going back to school would be great for you. First, you'd be improving you: the hurt you, the strong you; the one who has some skills that are important to you..the workforce is bad right now; but technology is taking off.. don't let yourself get behind, if you can keep up. it'll payoff in the end, no doubt...
and, if it isn't some thhing that you can't face right now, maybe some on line classes, till you can...
you'll get more self esteem from it, and its' Not based on what you look like, or even feel like. it'll be what you can accomplish...i'll be here for you, as much as you need.. we're here for that reason....gentle hugs, honey.............3jays
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I think everyone thinks that BC is just one challenge but it's the onion of challenges- multiple layers. There's the fear of the cancer itself, loss of self, loss of friends and sometimes SO, effects on careers, children, finances- the list goes on and on. Not sure anyone really understands all that unless they've dealt with the same challenges. They think that life begins again as soon as the stitches have healed from the MX. But that's like saying life begins as soon as the coffin is lowered into the ground after the death of a loved one. It's a process I'm afraid and it sucks! A lot of you are still in the early stages of all this. I know I thought I was just breezing through this whole thing until after my exchange and then, WAM, I hit a big brick emotional wall. Most of us are too busy dealing with the mechanics of cancer beforehand. There's no time or energy to deal with emotions. So don't make others feel like you're taking too long to process, or you're not being Polyanna enough for them because they just aren't truly going to understand until the rug gets pulled out from under them too. We've all been there and we all get it completely so vent away! It really helps! (((hugs to anyone who needs them!!!))))
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Once again I find myself in the bottom of the well with bills, doctors, job, DH, DD, headache, fatigue, and now shortness of breath with chest tightness being thrown down on top of me. It seems to boil down to my being overweight so I've brought this all on myself and I have to lose weight again. A year ago I had got lap-band surgery and was doing fairly well at dropping the pounds - lost about 45 pounds in four months and then got dx with BC. Feeling sorry for myself brought on the comfort food and I've gained about half the weight back. Sorry for the downer pity party.
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Woah, off for a few days and have alot of reading to catch up on.
determined-Have you found out about your MRI on your foot? Hope its and easy fix, getting out and moving is such a great part of the healing process.
Flwarrior--I have always worked service waitress, bartender and for the last 12 years retail. I am over dealing with cranky people--bosses and customers. Would love to work where I am accountable to no one--yeah right. . . .What is your job history, your dream job?
Diane-Good luck on your 3 monther tomorrow. May it be nothing but routine!
Joy--welcome newbie!! Less than a week out from BMX!! I think I was still sleeping on my fold out couch at the time so I could surround myself with pillows. The shock of the surgery takes AWHILE to get over. It's been 10 months and I still look in the mirror and go whuhhhh??? What happened here? Did I agree to this? When will I get back to normal? Still working all that out.
Sandi- you have a way with words, very comforting. I hope that in your moments of feeling low, you realize your words have a very healing effect on others.
Marylou, Marylou. I understand your sadness. Sometimes all I can do is curl up in a ball and ask why. My brain just won't shut down, what if, why me, whats the point. I scream, I yell , I pound on things, I cry until I feel drained--and then I pick myself up and start all over. It helps to find something to make your brain focus on something else. Making something creative, exercise.cleaning like a mad woman. I'm not one to give career advice--lord knows-- but don't be afraid of going back to school. Everyone keeps telling thats what I need to do. My degree didn't do me a bit of good, except to say I am a college graduate--I still don't have a tech skill. You are a step ahead with being a techno geek. there are many IT jobs out there. We'll go thru this midlife redirection together!!
Now, for me. I handed in my notice on Friday and my last day is the 23-day before T-day. Told her I needed to HEAL and never got my health back from the last year. I needed to spend time getting myself back to my old self and spend time with my family. Of course I didn't tell her it was my mental health and she was the sole reason it has deteoriated--well, ok BC did have something to do with that! She was actually very nice thru it all, saying she totally understood. Actually offerred me a spot to come back to once I "feel better" about everything. She said she loved me as a human being and couldn't wait to friend me on FB. I did have to look around the room on that one and wonder who in hell she was talking to. LOL. I feel HORRIBLE about leaving my fellow mgrs and some of the booksellers, that place is such a mess and just a tad out of control. Can't wait to not have to WORRY about what I cannot control. So I plan on being unemployed for awhile and spending time looking for something that won't drive me crazy. School is definitely in the future, just not sure what. Feel like I am starting part 2 of my life. Hopefully, I will take better control of this go around.
barbe--how did your test go yesterday?
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And to know you are stressed out----went to the dentist yesterday to get a filling replaced because I cracked my back molar. My dentist said it was totally from grinding my teeth. I wear a night guard(just not every night like I should) and also my cheek is chewed to bits on that side. Constantly tasting blood, cant seem to stip biting on it. Dentist asked if I was stressed. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
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I want to thank all of you that listened to me:
Dragonfly I am sorry you are starting out please don't listen to me I guess some people deal with it much better than I do, try to take advice from them the last think I want to do is bring anyone down with me.Determined I can't thank you enough for trying to understand me, it means more to me than you will ever know, and you give me honest answers, no platitudes and no fake sympathy just the truth. I don't think I am ready for a support group, I am sure they are really helpful but this is close as I can come to airing my dirty laundry so to speak.
Marthah if you ever get the chance to pm me please feel free, I will take all the help I can get.
3jaysmom thank you for admitting that I am not alone in the way I feel. I too was sure I would be a warrior in this fight but now I am barely hanging on by a thread. I feel like a casualty not a hero but you're your words help a lot.
I want to be a hero, I really do I want to be as strong as some of you are but at the moment I have nothing I can think of to get me through tomorrow, Please don't get me wrong I do drag my rear out of bed every day and I try to go on with my life as isolated as it is. I think some days I will make it other days I don't see the point! If I am not the normally cherry person that everyone knows me as then they try to stay from me.
Please don't get me wrong I do put on a happy face and when I see my friends I try to be that person all the time because I know they can't deal with the scared and depressed person I am inside. I cook amazing meals (I started out to be a chef), I fix their computers, I do everything I did before so they don't have to hear how I feel but what hurts me is when I do want to talk about how I feel all I get is a deaf ear and the same old platitudes. A great example is when I went to Jamaica with a friend after I was diagnosed (we had the trip booked before I knew) but before the mastectomy or treatment she asked me on the way if this whole rip was going to be about my cancer. I guess I should have figured out then that Mary was a great person Mary with cancer was too much to deal with.
I guess what I am to say and again I apologize to any one that I am bringing down but these letters I write here seem to be the only place I can be honest with anyone else and myself. Hopefully spilling all my feelings to you will help me express them to others because I need to be the Mary I am now and not the one I pretend to be.
Thank you all again for accepting this me and not the one I am forced to fake for everyone else.0 -
cmblastic so glad you are done there!! I am sure you must feel such a relief. Sounds like you handled it very well. Wow about the dentist. His comments and your mouth! How do you not grind? I did that once many many years ago when we were going through our first move. I thought I had cavities in every tooth and went to the dentist and they said I was grinding. So now what? I am just so very happy you are out of that job. Will be interesting to see if the grinding decreases. No I haven't heard on the MRI, I think I will call this afternoon. One of those things you want to know and you don't type of thing.
mostlymom, don't beat yourself up. You were and are going through a very difficult time. You have a plan and that is what counts. So you start now with changing your eating habits and maybe a little at a time. But you are strong because you identified what you need to do and want to do. We all have our down days and that is ok. You have been through so much. The burden is so heavy at times. But like I said you have a plan that is the biggest step and that is what is important.
I hope this day treats each of you gently.
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I had to see a psychiatrist to file my LTD papers as some of the drugs I am on are very powerful 'brain' meds. He was very nice and I starting crying right away. He said if I didn't cry, HE would have! I have the right to be depressed and sad as my story IS depressing and sad!! The only thing he pushed me on was to cry with sound. Seriously. Sobbing sounds, not just tears rolling down my face. (I knew from years ago that you can only cry tears for 20 minutes and then they dry up.) He said I would be fine because I was a 'survivor'. I knew what he meant (not cancer related) but hated hearing it. I warned him that one day I wouldn't survive so well......he upped one of the meds.
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mary, this why this site is so valuable because we can be honest ((((((hugs))))))))
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Marylou- You may feel you're bringing others down but I think what you're really doing is helping other, who are feeling the same way, see that it's normal. It isn't just the ones who post on here, there are others who are just reading. (Just checked and there have been over 2,500 posts on here but over 37,00 views.) You may be helping someone else and not even knowing it. Until I talked to others I thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn't move past all this. Knowing I wasn't alone helped me so much. I admire how honest you are with your feelings. I think "Mary with cancer" is not only not too much to deal with but is an amazing person. Wish your friends could see it, too.
Claire- CONGRATULATIONS!!! I know how miserable you have been in that place. I know what it feels like to quit a job you hate. It's like the prison doors opening up. Hope you enjoy some much needed down time before venturing out on your next adventure!
Determined- Hope you get your test results today and it's all GOOD news!
barbe- I'm sorry everything is so hard but glad your Dr. validated your feelings. I think that goes a long way instead of someone saying, "Oh come on, things aren't so bad."
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Barbe it is so good when someone does not down play or give you the buck up talk. He validated you as a person going through a very difficult time that has been difficult and will be difficult. Chronic pain is so hard to deal with. I am glad you are happy with him. I am glad you were able to file your paper and take care of you.
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Claire, Congratulations on leaving your job. It was bringing you so much stress. Take time to rest now.
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claire: i can't wait till your OUTTA there!!!good for you!!!!you'll find somewhere you can be happy with going to.. i know you will' after you get stronger from dealing with HER!!!
Barbe; you ALWAYS crack me up: he listened to me, i said someday i won't survive so well, and he UPPED one med!!!only us who know; wouuld find the humour in that...
im still sick. they did finally dx me with a serious bacterial infection... somethin H1b.. something only kids who aren't vaccinated usually ger. with my screwy immune system, its always the weird ones... so, antibs already have me in the bath, both ways... will call 2morro, see if we can change it....
you know, when we have MULTiple issues, (and i do, belive you me ) we do have some sad and depressing things in our life... i also am determined to feel them all; good and bad.. i believe its' the only way to move forward...
yes, Barbe, ya gotta learn to breathe when you cry.... im practiciing , too......3jays
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Hello Ladies....I have some catching up to do...just wanted to pop in and say hello and welcome to JoyH Marylou and Dragonfly!!
I will comment more when I have time to read through...just know this is a place to come when you need to talk and no one else is around...someone is always here!
Off to Oncologist 2 year appt. Blaaaahhhh I had a bad dream so I am hoping it was just a nightmare and will not be reality.
Have a good morning all....be back this afternoon!!
Hugs to all that need one
Diane
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