Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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He's had a match account the whole time we were dating, and he said it was already paid for. But that's my point exactly. I kept my profile hidden once we started dating a few times. But now he's giving me crap. He didn't call back, and I responded to his text but he's flat ignoring me now. Like I did something wrong... WOW!! Well I just gave him his out, in his twisted mind. Now he has a reason to be mad at me and to end it officially in his head. This guy has some serious problems.
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No, he may not respond right away, but it will drive him crazy! He will call you. I just know it! But maybe it better if you not respond to him! I mean w serious problems and all! Who needs that kind of confusion. I think you are way to nice a woman for him! He has shown his colors, doesnt sound good to me. But then Im certainly no expert on dating LOL
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If I had to bet money on this, he will NOT contact me again. Like I said, I think in his crazy way of thinking he now has a good reason or excuse and I just made his decision for him. But whatever... i swear these games are so exhausting. What a total hypocrite huh?
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Yes is true, he is hypocrit! I just hate these dating games but, if you want a relationship you got to go thru the dating ritual I guess,unfortunately! Bummer,huh w all weve gone thru, now dating game.Oh I just dont know if I'm up to it. Dating, sites, Oh my gosh the world has changed since I was dating! Oh yeah and flirting, Ive got to learn how to do that also cuz that is part of the ritual LOL
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Oh I'm just burned up right now, sorry. I can't get over him questioning me for being on there AFTER he told me he thinks he may be not ready to date me, and may consider his ex again... and had the account the whole time we were together. I know I sound like a broken record right now but dang it... then to completely ignore me like I am some horrible person and I cheated on him. Ah I want to knock him upside the head, is that so wrong? HA HA HA
Dating sucks, I don't even like the idea of getting to know another person. Maybe the people that have arranged marriages are right on? I don't play games, I give too many chances, I fall for the guys that won't ever fall as hard for me.
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I even want to knock him upside the head! But seriously, once you calm down I think you will see thru all his bull and realize that you don't want to partake in his game. I think he will call you,just have that feeling, he'sjinto the game. I don't think you really want to be w game player. W this internet dating I think we will all run into lots of them...sadly!
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We could take a bet on that one too if you're "game" ha ha
I am pretty dang confident I will not hear from him again. I'm just still fuming dang it, I do NOT like my character or integrity being questioned when I did nothing wrong. Yeah, you're right, the internet dating, or dating in general brings out the freaks!
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GOOD FOR YOU, DRAGONFLY!!!! You handled this perfectly!!! Good that he saw you have a new account - lets him know that you won't be sitting around waiting for his sorry ass. If he wants to risk losing you, then he might just lose you. And the fact that you sounded nice and upbeat? Awesome.
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DF, you are headed for ruin by even continuing to have contact with him. Let him live with the decision he has made. You really need to ask him to stop contacting you and go no contact.
I disagree that it is too soon for you to date again. The best way to move on is to start dating others . Not sit home and mourn a dead relationship.
Hrf, I think you will be surprised how much better you feel after your surgery. You will feel so much prettier and more confident, I think. Even with no nips yet, I still feel better.
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One thing about men - they do not like to let one person go until they know something is going to work out with the other person. He told you "she" was on his mind and that they were going to try to work things out. That should be enough for you. Don't accept his breadcrumbs. He is a man, so yes, it got his testosterone up when he saw you on Match. Don't read more into it than that.
I would not respond to hm anymore. And trust me, you will be hearing from him.
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I guess he thought the text about the shade canopy was a signal from you that you wanted to stay in touch. I've done the same thing myself. The conversation was a waste of your time because he's only telling you enough to keep you hanging on. He didn't tell you anything that would make a difference. The fact that he kept his match.com profile public the whole time was also a strong signal about where his head was. And yes, why was he on match.com if not looking for more women? He might even have a couple of others he is stringing along as well. Was he really working those long hours or was he being entertained elsewhere? I don't think he is trustworthy. I agree with Fearless - no more contact from your end if you are serious about not being involved with him at all. He's a player. He will contact you again so be prepared. If you have call display, don't answer the phone and just listen to the voice mail he leaves.
Fearless, I'll let you know how the visit with the ps goes on Monday0 -
I told him that exact thing, I said keep in mind my profile is hidden, yours has never been. Funny though.... this morning his account is deleted and closed! So I don't know what's up with that. He said he can't ask me to not be looking, even if that's what he wants, damn straight! He wants me to not be looking and to be waiting, but... he doesn't really feel that's fair or right to me. Wow... I have NEVER ever in my life had a game like this. I told him again, that I was willing to give him space and time to get things straightened out and that I wouldn't be looking in the mean time. But that was where the total lack of communication came in to play. The fact that he closed his account means 1 of 2 things to me.... (He was on the phone with his folks when he saw my profile on there) 1. He is NOT ready to be dating, and felt it was best to take it down finally after dating me for a few months. 2. He was upset that my profile was on there, which made him look like a total hyprocite for calling me out on it. News flasth - Do not be active on a dating site if you're dating someone, and especially not if you're considering the ex! WTF??? Man I'm getting all fired up again over this loser!
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I think he closed his account because of "her". I hate to see you struggling so over this guy who will not give you the commitment you deserve.
Hrf, yes, let us know how Monday goes! I am excited for you!
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I know it's not because of me, but I think it's because of his confusion on if he should be dating period. or if he's going to go back to her. I need to just not answer his texts or calls, I was doing awesome and it just starts me in this vicious cycle ALL over again when he contacts me!
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Dragon .. it's sounds like the man is playing games with you. I think he is very conflicted about what to do in his personal life.
hugs,
Bren
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I know he is, you ladies are right. Why can't I just tell him to not contact me, block his # and delete him from my facebook? I am so irritated with myself more than anything right now for allowing it. Dang it...
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This is what I was afraid. I understand, it's hard to not respond to someone you want to be with. But this is not a good situation. I hope you will ask him to not contact you again (tell him you know he will understand), and then stop responding.
Men do this all the time - drag things out like this. Mike told me he could fall in love with me and wanted me to come up and meet his family. The whole time he had been on dating sites and a few weeks later friendzoned me. We never spoke again.
At least this guy hasn't told you "let's still be friends", lol! That is the kiss of death, the nail in the coffin for sure.
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Wow fearless, that's crazy. The last time I saw Mike (aka the boy) he said he wanted me to meet his family and that we'd been invited to a bbq there etc... He did say the other day, can't we be friends right now while I get this figured out. I said uh... sorry, I can't be dating with you and giving you my heart then be like, hey dude what's up???
I need to end it, I know, I'm struggling with it I suppose, and wish I could figure out why.
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Dragon, I understand how you feel, having felt the same myself. I know you are trying to "get into his head" but you will never be able to do so. He is operating from a different perspective and his lack of decision making skills and confusion are not logical. At this point he still thinks you are giving him time and space so he will continue to dicker around. You have several options - continue waiting like you are, cut off all communication without explanation or send him a text/email saying that being in limbo is too hard and painful for you and you need him to make a decision to include you in his life or to stop contacting you - if you want you can even say, "let's take a break from each other for a month while you sort your life out." and then the next time you talk there has to be a commitment or it's over. Would that be easier for you than cutting him off completely. It would also give you a month to meet new guys - who knows, you might not even want him back after taking a break. Ultimately, all this has to be your decision and you want to be in control of your own life.
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I think that is the hard part, like i care about him as a person (probably shouldn't though after all this) and I hate the thought of having NO contact, but then again I hate the thought of having to be just his friend. Right now anyway... maybe later I'd be ok with it. So I feel like I'm stuck on which way to go. I feel like if I told him to completely take a hike and not contact me again I'd be sad and regret it. Why?????At this point it has nothing to do with dating him or a relationship type thing it's just I have a hard time ending it with people, I always give too many chances and try to be the bigger person.
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The reality is that you will probably never be friends or at least not for a long time. Do you want to be with a man who doesn't know if he cares enough about you? Only you can answer that. Some women do choose to accept that kind of relationship. If you at least took a break, he would know that you mean business and that you have a backbone. Then the ball is in his court to sort things out. If he goes back to the ex, you've lost only one more month. He could keep you on a string for a year and then go back to her then which would be even worse. It depends on what you think you can tolerate
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No I think you're right, a month is a good idea. I'll talk to him later tonight possibly and just let him know that I thhink that's best. Plus like you said in a month of no contact I'll have the time to really fully get moving on! I don't want to tolerate coming 2nd or 3rd to him. Plus I know if he was even just a friend, I wouldn't tolerate this behavior and would of written him off. I don't play games, I don't do drama and I have an amazing circle of friends. Most of who'm I've known for many years. So I don't need this!
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EEk! I didn't know he already mentioned "being friends" for now. You really need to cut ties with him. Don't worry, is nothing to feel guilty about. He will know why. You are a kind person, and he will always know that.
Don't expect his contact to end just by asking him to. He will keep contacting you. You will have to be strong and not respond. He is keeping you on a string in case things don't work out with the ex. It's just what they do. I don't think they can be alone like women can. They need a back-up.
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It's come to that fearless, it just takes me longer than some to turn into a b*&%$ and stand up for myself. This is why it took me 4 years to file for divorce, I give these jerks too much and too many chances! He's had his turn, and then some. No other girl would put up with this! Tonight will be a good night to cut ties, my best friend and her girl are coming over to swim and bbq
I need moral support too lol0 -
Dragon - do you think he blocked you from viewing his profile? If you pm me his username I will look on match for you. I'm not sure if blocking only prevents people from emailing you or if it also prevents you from seeing them.
Funnt thing, last night I went on a match date (first date) and got an email from another match guy (who winked at me but we never met) that he saw me at the bar - he also said I looked better in person. I replied... thanks for the compliment and yes I was there. I thought I may hear from him, but I haven't.
Karyn
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Wow that's cool and different about getting an email saying he saw you in the bar
I will PM you his name, but I do think he may have cancelled it cause I searched and didn't find him. I don't know if match has a way to block a person completely??
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I doubt he blocked you. I think he hid/cancelled the account because of her. DF, please don't be so hard on yourself and say "no other woman would put up with this". I can't speak for the others, but I certainly have done that - 3 years I let Michael string me along! So it's not just you. It's very hard. I am glad you have a good support system and are not sitting home moping.
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I am seeing why I need to cut ties, at least for now. It is such a vicious cycle/game that I can't keep playing.
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Dragon, you are like many other women in dealing with men. How you are feeling is very normal. Many of us think with our hearts and not always with our heads. It's important that you feel good about what you do and that you take care if yourself - only you know what works for you. I am sorry you are on such an emotional roller coaster. Too many of us have been in the same place
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Well I never heard from him after the match.com incident even though he said he was calling me later. I had a big speech planned out and everything
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