Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Take care of yourself this weekend sweetbean!! SO glad you got through this first part! xo
Thank you my bc sisters for your support. It means alot.
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Lovesmyfamily, you made the greatest decision ever! You let your ex know that you love who you are now and for always. Good on you!
This is the part I hate. An early Saturday evening, son is asleep and am now bored. I can't really date as I have no free time, but also afraid of me. I always picked losers. When I didn't have my lil nugget, that was fine as I was the only one who would get hurt, however, now with my son, I can't allow that cycle to continue. I also have major trust issues. I hate that I'm so broken. So many small pieces, so little glue. But I so miss sitting home on a Saturday just watching tv with someone special. Lovesmyfamily, maybe I wouldn't be so broken if I had done what you are doing, valuing yourself enough to say to a man dang it I am special and worth it!!0 -
I hear you klynnz. Can you tell us more a about feeling broken? I know it is hard. I feel like an alcoholic ( I don't drink) ie, one day at a time not thinking of Franklin and resisting the urge to try to contact him. So tempting.
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I have trust issues. Been cheated on twice, and my baby's dad told me so many lies it's embarrassing. I wish I could say that I had been strong enough to walk away from the first two cheaters immediately, however, I didn't value myself enough to make a clean cut. Kept hoping they'd choose me in the end...
With my baby's dad, he told me so many lies, I just desperately wanted to believe him.
And like you, lovesmyfamily, he told me one night, when he had been drinking, that he didn't think he saw a future with me. Unlike you I didn't walk away. I stayed, like the other 2 times until he left when I got pregnant.
So, moral of story, lovesmyfamily, it may hurt now, a lot, but the damage to your self esteem will last a lot longer.0 -
We all have a similar story, and have to learn to avoid getting sucked into these awful situations. Allow us to find someone that deserves us and has earned it and stop settling. It's so hard not to, I know I do it, I have this fantasy person in my head and want the happily ever after so bad that I'm willing to start letting the real me down and become a door mat. That's why I'm working on myself, and not looking at dating right now. I need to be a stronger person and more confident in myself to stand up to losers and be able to tell them to take a hike.
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OK, so my radiated side is oozing a little bit. My PS said it was totally normal and not to worry, but I can't help it. I'm taking my supplements and eating protein like it's going out of style, but could someone please talk me off the ledge?
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It's normal. Are you using something like glaxol base ... put some on. If possible keep the skin exposed to the air to try to get it to heal. Let doctor know tomorrow before next rads.
I've also been sucked in ... giving relationships too much time .... if they don't work 100% from the get go, then they won't work. I always thought things would get better but they never do. Wasted way too much time.
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I just had my exchange. This isn't radiation. This is an incision from surgery. Any advice?
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Sorry, I have no experience with that. My doctors won't do implants following radiation
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Hmm.. if an incision is oozing I'd be calling the doctor. I'm a worrier, and had radiation and incisions that took FOREVER to heal. I am sure it's nothing, or maybe just the start of a slight infection. Nothing to worry about really, but worth calling in and having them look at it, or at least tell you what to watch for.
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I already called and she said it was fine. Do you have any advice on helping heal?
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I did not have implants, but I did have recon 1 year after rads. When my incision oozed I warmed some salt water and hydrogen peroxide and wiped incision with that solution. But make sure you keep your dr. informed of your concerns. Wishing You Well, Kiley
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Thanks, kiley! How long did it take for your incision to heal?
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The ex-boyfriend sent me a YouTube video "Can't Smile Without You". I sent him one back "Your Cheatin' Heart". Then he sent me "Just Once" so I sent him "Bye, Bye, Bye" by NSync. Some people just don't get a hint!
I can't even believe he is trying to contact me after the email I sent him.
Denise
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Denise, I think you are very smart and very strong. A good role model. If you took him back, he would do the same thing again.
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chiluvr, classic. good for you!
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Sweetbean, it took several months to heal, but that was due to extensive surgery. I think most people heal faster with implant surery. My friend, in New Jersey, took about a month, but she did not have rads. It just takes some time to heal were all a little different, It will be okay sweetbean. Keep your dr. posted on the drainage. Hugs, Kiley
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Chil, good for you!!
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I keep making my mother look at the incision (she's a trooper). She said it looks better.
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Kudos to you Denise, for sending him the videos back! I love it
What a putz huh? Glad to hear they're doing better sweetbean! I know I had such an ordeal healing from my mastectomy on my one side, took an extra 4-6 weeks to heal!!
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The bandage was dry this morning - it must be healing!!! I'm very happy - whoo hooo!!!! Going to buy an amazing bra this morning!
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Yay, sweetbean, healing is good!! xo
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So this guy I've seen a few times keeps jumping in and out of my life - tell me what you guys think. After enjoying an activity together and it's time to part ways, he says stuff like, "call me sometime", or "I'm so busy right now but we'll try to work it out (getting together)". He's never made any kind of promise about when and where we'll meet again, a week or so goes by and I'm thinking he's not interested in me, and then POOF, he calls and wants to get together. Maybe he's just taking the slow boat, maybe he's stringing me along, maybe he can fit me in only occasionally, maybe I'm thinking too hard about it. Since he's so rarely available, I never call him and when he does call I act chatty, happy , busy but never push for a "next date". Problem is I really like him lots. Hmmmm Guess all I can do is take one day at a time!
sweetbean, so glad you're healing up!
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Started oozing again - must have been from being up and around this morning. It does look better, although it is hard to tell through the steri-strip. *sigh* this whole process is stressing me out more than i thought it would. I'm also worried because it looks like the non-radiated side is dropping and the radiated side isn't and I don't know what can be done about that.
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Rakulynda, have you ever told this guy no? Tell him you have plans or don't feel like getting together. He isn't wanting a relationship and it appears to him you're ok with his games?
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sweetbean - is it red or hot to the touch? are you on Antibiotics - I took them after the exchange for a few weeks - my incision was pretty red - had to use sutures to keep it closed but it healed well. If it doesn't start to subside or is real red or hot I'd call again. Can't hurt - you don't want to risk an infection.
Karyn
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kward,
No, it isn't infected. I'm still on antibiotics, plus it is just a clear fluid. My PS said it is normal. I tend to have more drainage when I am up - last night, it didn't drain at all, for instance. I still have the steristrips on both incisions, so I can't really see what's going on. I just keep changing the dressing - but again, it isn't very much. I'm just obssesive. Right now, i am worried about them dropping and fluffing and being even. This exchange process is waaaay more stressful than I thought it would be. *sigh*
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sweetbean - glad its clear - sounds good -
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Rakulynda, in my opinion, it sounds like he does enjoy your company as he keeps coming back. Do I remember correctly that he has always said he had little time? Did you ask him why? Also, does his profile say what he is looking for such as dating, casual, long term? If it says dating or casual, that is what you guys are doing, but if it says long term and he hasn't explained his busy life, you may want to ask. How long has this been going on? Again, this depends on what he says he is looking for.
Then you need to ask yourself what are you looking for and how fast does it need to happen? Even when I do get ready to date, I'm a single mom with very little babysitters so dating will be default be slow moving (think snail pace) not because I wouldn't be interested but because life is complicated sometime.
If you feel he's been honest so far, just enjoy his company when you can while you continue to date others. Enjoy life, its all we got!0 -
Received a card in the mail today begging me for a "do over". It was one of those musical cards that played "I'm Sorry". I realized I sent all the youtube videos to his old email address so I sent him a real special one today: "You're No Good" by Linda Ronstadt.
Maybe he will get the message?
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