Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Bill Gates was a university drop out - he didn't get a degree. Look at all those rich, powerful, well educated men in politics ... they all cheat on their wives ... or steal money... but everyone has to make their own decision and date whomever they feel comfortable with. For me, my biggest challenge is coming to terms with bc and the impact it has had on me. If I found the right person, I wouldn't care about his age or his degree.
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To each their own for sure, I guess I am just really taken back by this. HRF I think I'm on the same page as you, as always
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I guess we could be like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and The City and always, always wear a bra!
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Just a note...I've met some gorgeous...absolutely gorgeous men...online. That doesn't mean they have integrity. Nor does a degree mean that. To me, honesty and integrity are the most important things in a guy. Then I look for common values and interests and an ability to carry on a conversation. I've also had guys wink or email me that are 70...what are they thinking? I've experienced the whole gamut online. I should have taken notes and written a book.
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My criteria when dating was to meet someone who could "take care of their own $hit" - and was responsible.
Sweetbean - I'm 41 and was 38 at DX. My first relationship after my div was with a great guy I met online - my hair was very short and he liked me for me. I also had ILC like you along with some DCIS and IDC... So I can relate to you.
An update on my personal life - the fire fighter and i are doing very well. We laugh a lot and can see the lighter side of life. He knows all about my dx and doesn't care that my chest has one apple and one orange. We were set up by friends and the nice thing is that I don't worry about him dating others or being online. The one thing I struggled with while on match was wondering if the guy I was dating was still "browsing" - and a few were.
I hope all of us find that special someone and live hapy healthy lives.... Its a great feeling to be loved by someone.
KAryn
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Twoputter - it's funny that you should say honesty & integrity are very important cuz I have it stated on my dating profile!
Very important in my opinion. BTW where are the gorgeous guys hiding?
Denise
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I went on a date with a guy that was 5'6" last night. How many women on here will date a guy that short? Short men have the toughest time online, without a doubt.
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Seriously? Why does height even come into play? I must be really out of touch here or something. I'm only 5'5" the last guy i dated was 5'6" and I've dated guys over 6' tall, the height is the least of my worries. Now the guy with no teeth, that's a different story lol...
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Haha! Everybody has their deal breakers. Seriously, short guys have it rough.
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If you say so! I don't know why though, I'm about as stumped as this one by the whole degree thing. Poor guys have no idea what they are up against with the list of unacceptable traits and must haves. I'm glad I decided to take a break off from dating
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They have their own lists, I'm sure. Oh, they've done studies on who has a tough time on dating sites. Guys under 5'9" had the roughest time.
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Oh brother now that's funny... Has anyone seen Shallow Hal, great movie about dating and stereo types and seeing what's on the inside vs. the outside.
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I had an email from a guy who is 5'6" or 5'5" ( I don't remember for sure) and he talked about how women say men are shallow yet they don't want to go out with him because he's short. I wonder if it relates to our ancestral DNA and finding a strong mate who can protect us and our offspring???? Just a thought. By the way, the Dr. is 5'6" and I'm 5'7.5". Talked to him last night; he seems interesting...different than anyone I've dated before. I wanted to talk again before meeting. On the degree issue...I don't have a degree but feel I can hold my own against those who do. Sure I wish I had one, but things didn't work out that way so I guess I'm okay with a gap in the education department.
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I think Tom Cruise is only about 5'6" Both Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes are much taller. Are you saying you wouldn't go out with Tom Cruise? ....LOL.....
My son is short. He's had no problem meeting nice girls and dating. He's now engaged to a great girl. Not everyone cares about height.
Have a great Valentine's Day ladies. I hope some of you at least are doing something special. It's a non-day for me - but I've gotten used to it so I don't care.
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I date short guys almost exclusively - I'm 5'1". I don't care about height or hair. I tend to care about stuff people can control. I'm just quoting some studies that I read. Obviously, I know a lot of short men who are in relationship or married. And the studies were about on-line dating, where people are more apt to make snap judgements.
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I'm 5' 1" so height is never a problem for me unless I met a jockey.
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I am working with a relationship coach/specialist from Britain. If you state on your profile that you are looking for a man with honesty and integrity, a player will ACT honest and like he has integrity. I read a woman's profile recently. She practically pleaded that there should be no games. I think her headline should have been: I've been walked on like a doormat. Another woman I saw wrote negative tags on her own photos, criticizing herself!! (BF/bastards new girlfriend!! Great new play toy for him!). Again - screaming: I have low self esteem - kick me. My ex BF - the master game player of all time had on his profile - in caps no less - HONESTY A PLUS - NO GAMES'!! It's an attempt to trick you. Guys who have been in healthy relationships don't even think to put this on their profile. Only guys who have been in 'gamey' relationships do. It's usually the guys who are playing the games, becuz unfortunately they hold the power cards for a number of reasons. Mostly becuz we are so damn nice.
'Nice' is hard to judge online. Determination, ambition and ability to set goals can be reflected in a man's education and career choices. It doesn't mean he is a nice guy. My grandfather was the greatest guy in the world with a third grade education but that doesn't mean I'd want to marry him. I am currently spending time with my ex. Sometimes his grammar, smoking, swearing, incessant TV watching and low ambition are a turn off and I think indicative of his drive/level of education. But he has a heart of gold, is a WONDERFUL father and that's why I was married to him for 15 yrs. But when it came to changing these habits, reflecting on the effects on the children and feeling adequate and emotionally secure with a woman with 8 years of post-hs education, he was challenged. But he is my best friend. We have 3 beautiful children. I just don't let him smoke around me!!
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I actually got another email from the old BF. Since I changed my cell phone #, he can't call or text me so now he sends me another email asking me to call him sometime.
I told him I don't want any more emails from him, cards, love letters, candies, flowers, notes from carrier pigeons, skywriting, etc. I hate to change my email but I haven't been able to figure out to block him yet (but I will). In the meantime I'm having fun giving him a piece of mind everytime he tries to contact me.
I've joined Ok Cupid after seeing it on a news segment tonight. I'll see how that works out.
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My best girl friend got a valentine's email yesterday from a guy that stood her up for a date a week ago without ANY explanation. He also cancelled three dates before that. She responded with all the things he'd have to do to get back on her good side. Time to hit the eject! buttton!!
Let me know how Ok Cupid goes. Looks like it skews kind of young?
I read a book - something about fear? - it said that the best way to get rid of someone is no response at all. Takes about 6 wks or so but it works.
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Well, here's my opinion about dating older men....my deceased husband was 15 years my senior and when we met (I was 35, he was 50) that was fine. He was still young, active and sexy. Now, in retrospect and I'm 55 and he'd of been 70), I'd never date a guy that old. I saw my husband age rapidly after 65, he lost his vitality, sexuality, and kindness to others. He just turned into a crachety old guy that needed alot of nursing care. Still loved him till the moment he passed but wouldn't do it again. On the flip side, my 50 year old neighbor married a guy 12 years her junior and she's just worn out. She complains how he wants sex all the time with gymnastics! She's entering menopause, working full time with 2 teenagers and just doesn't want it all the time....
With all the dating sites, I think guys post the sweetest concocted junk they can come up with and you'll never know a thing about them until you at least talk a bit. Some of the greatest looking, best educated guys have turned out to be real duds but then I'm not having much luck.....time for a break for me to with this dating junk.
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I once posted in my online profile that I wanted/desired a gentleman with "good grammer". Some guy wrote me back and told me that I spelled "grammar" wrong, and indeed I had!! lolz But, I admit, I have trouble with guys who say "she don't and youse guys, etc. For me it is a turn off.
xo
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That's funny! My ex-H used to say 'them' as in 'Them people are crazy'. My family, who are all in education, would kind of look around and pause. I don't think he noticed. That was nothing though compared to some of his more wild statements like - "What does she think? That I'm gonna blow sunshine up her ass 24 hours a day?" or "No shit Sherlock" He has a whole bunch of these sayings. Now the kids and I just look at each other and crack up when he does this. He can be fairly endearing
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I am crying on and off. Can't sleep. My beloved poodle unexpectly passed away this afternoon.
I am on my bed and it feels weird because she always came on the bed with me and cuddled next to me. I would pet her lovely, soft fur.
She was fine until late last night.She wanted to go outside. Oddly she was holding her tail very close to her body. She normally wagged her tail when I came home: Not last night. I let her out thinking she may need to relieve herself. She stayed out for a long time. This was not typical of her. I finaaly called her and got no response; so I went out in the yard and found her curled up. I pick her up and she sofly moaned a couple of times, Brought her in and put her on the bed and she quickly was becoming unresponsive and she felt cold. i rushed her to the emergency vet. They did blood work and her glucose level was 27 ( normal is 100). They gave her IV glucose and told me to pick her up at 7:30 am and bring her to my vet.
Brought her to regular vet. Found out her white cell count was zero. The vet told me that he thought she had Acute Leukemia The vet started another IV glucose because she was deteriorating again. He told me to pick her up at 4 pm. I was hoping he had misdiagnosed her aand she would be fine.
Got a call from vet at 1:20 pm telling me she past away.
Omg, I cant believe it . She was going to be 8 in May. I had her since she was 6 weeks old.
She was so beautiful, intelligent and sweet. I just can't stand it without her! I love that little sweetheart.
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Painted lady - so sorry for the passing of your dog. My mom has a poode and they are great companions.
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Thank you Kward
My poodle's name was Charlotte Rouse. I named her after a french pastry because she represented beauty, class, and sweetness. It was a difficult night without her. I have to go. I am crying right now and it is hard to see the keyboard
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Paintedlady,
I am so sorry - our pets are family!!!! Sending you a big hug!
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Paintedlady, sorry about your loss.
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Painted lady...so very very sorry. I know you will miss her for a long time. Our little babies love us like no other, unconditionally, and we them.
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I am so sorry for your loss painted lady!! Sounds like a very painful thing to go through. Please know that your bc sisters are here with you. We just found out that our Golden Retriever, Abbey, has inoperable cancer so we are giving her lots and lots of loving. xo
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So so sorry paintedlady. I know my pets are like my children and your dog's passing will hurt so bad. Sending hugs and more hugs. Lynda
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