Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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As I say I'm not interested in dating that guy emailed me tonight. Says his sister is watching his boys at 4, and he will be free the rest of the night! Oh my...
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So it will be an interesting Saturday for at least a couple of you.
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ha ha lets hope my sperm donor doesn't bail on his weekend again!
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Dragon I can't wait to hear how this meeting goes with this guy.
Hadley I can relate to people disappointing you. My own father and his gold digger wife
crapped on me emotionally over and over while I was facing surgery and later chemo. I told my father off. Told him that he is a toxic individual and the stress he creates is no good. Consequently he has not spoken to me for a year. But that is okay. I can't stand all their psycho drama.
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Happy Belated Birthday Hadley.....Its my birthday on friday and im expecting the same sort of response from some of my family and friends.....I think maybe I expect too much at birthday times, but since cancer birthdays have become very important to me, not just mine, but other peoples as well.....
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Well I must say I'm excited for those of you with upcoming dates. I'm surprised how excited I am for someone else..... I actually did look at Match and all the men in my age range just either seem ancient or desperate for physical attention and demanding. Can't say I saw anyone I'd want to contact. I think I'll just live through you all for a while.
Linda- I think in general I expect too much of people and I'm going to try hard to change that. I have a friend who doesn't expect much at all and isn't disappointed just happily surprised when someone does something nice. Sad to say but I'm thinking for me that may be the healthier way to go as otherwise the stress and hurt is just too hard.
I have started reaching out to my female friends and I hope to go see a play either Friday or Saturday so at least I'll get out of the house which is a big step for me these days.
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So the guy has been emailing pretty consistently, we are going to meet somewhere Saturday night around 5 then go to the wine/food thing and not sure what else. I'm nervous now, it wasn't a big deal, probably because I didn't expect him to show???
Ok ladies... On facebook I have a friend, a family friend really that I've known since I was in grade school. We really don't talk or hang out, but are friends on facebook. My Mom and her Mom are still friends. She is one of those negative, poor me type persons some times. Well a couple years ago she started having all sorts of health problems. I can't even begin to list them all, an auto immune disorder, lupis, and so on... Supposedly she's pretty miserable, none of the stuff she has is cureable. I feel for her, I really do, I can't imagine what she must be going through. However..... last night on facebook she posts this thing. How miserable she is, how tired of all the doctors and appointments and medicines etc.. She then says she wishes she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, had her boobs cut off, chemo and radiation and be done with the whole mess than to be sick every day with what she has.
What are your thoughts on her post? Then I'll share mine with you, I wanted to see if I was off track
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Dragonfly...I think I'd tell the "friend" that cancer doesn't get cured. The threat of a recurrence is always there. And I'd tell her I don't know one single person with breast cancer who thinks she is lucky. Sounds like she's quite a narcissist.
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well said two putter
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Dragonfly is she freakin' kidding? I wouldn't wish what we have been through and continue to go through on my worst enemy! Post that on your wall for the insensitive woman to see!
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Dragon All I can say is "omg" this woman is out of touch with reality.
Linda Happy Birthday!
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Thanks ladies.... I'm still fuming mad over the whole thing. I did respond and said something to the affect of having gone through cancer, mastectomy, chemo and rads I certainly would have to disagree that it would be a fair trade off. Her response was this big long post about everything wrong with her and why it's so bad. I responded only to say I refuse to debate over who's disease is more glamorous, and best of luck to her!
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Dragon I have family members like this women that you refer to on facebook. My own father said to me that "breast cancer is no big deal" I am sure that these callous, selfish individuals wiould be singing a different tune if they had to deal with breast cancer.
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DF, don't be nervous. Just be yourself. He's lucky to get the chance to meet you and to hang out.
I think the other ladies have said anything I would say about your facebook friend. In her defence, she truly doesn't understand breast cancer and thinks the grass is greener...... I agree with you - don't bother debating it....
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I agree with hrf on both accounts --
Have a great time on the date and be yourself.
As far as BC goes, I would never have understood the amount of stress and emotions that goes along with just the diagnosis, let alone the waiting and treatments (and I am one of the lucky ones - I don't have to have chemo). Your f/b friend does not deserve any other response, you handled it well.
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My SO at the time, well right before I was diagnosed but very scard he said" Well it's not like you'd die if you got bc". Which I responded "really tell that to my aunt who died of BC". I was then so angry I didn't know what to do.
I have a friend who has some many diseases - well she really shouldn't be alive at all but she would NEVER say such a thing. What on earth could she be thinking like you are over and done with it? I'm thinking I might be unfriending her especially if she knows you had BC. That is just too strange - I like what you said about not debating.... that was good and should quiet her.
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I had a therapist tell me that Stage one breast cancer was just like the common cold or a cough these days. That it was no big deal. She asked if i was attached to my breasts. I said yes, very much so. She said she was not. To her they were just a couple of big globs of fat hanging there. I just looked at her and didn't know what to say. Then she went on about how great that I get to get a perky new boob job now. I was without words. I didn't continue with her long..........
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Okay - so I am seeing my ex H now, dating as it were. and I began tonight to remember some of the awful lonely times when married, the times i felt i was doing all the work and feeling ignored and neglected. Sure it's fun in the beginning and he is my get friend but I am not really into wasting time/years and then finding I am right back where I started from. I think he sincerely believes he can "appreciate me more and not take me for granted". We have been divorced for 5 years. I am conflicted....?
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MyBee It is difficult not to become ambivalent when making decisions that will impact your life.
The only thing that I can suggest is to take it slow and be very observant of his behavior.
Dragon I will join the other Ladies and say that just have fun; let him worry about if You like him.
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Mybee --- only you will know and remember people do change --- as paintedlady says "take it slow and be very observant" -- and be honest with yourself too ---
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mybee, unbelievalbly insensitive, bordering on enethical. Glad you got rid of her. RE: your ex--make sure he treats you the way you deserve to be treated--like a queen. (If only I could take my own advice, lol) xo
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mybee- how horrible! That is really unprofessional of that therapist - very wrong on so many levels! Should have been reported but at least you got away from her.
As for your ex - I'd say be careful and proceed very slowly. Sometimes I get along really well with my ex but then I will remember how awful it was and do not ever want to repeat that. I think I went from one extreme to the other so hopefully one day I'll find someone in between who will actually care about me and have a partnership.
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I don't think people change. They don't wake up one day and realize they've been an azzhole. God can transform people, I've seen it happen, maybe a good therapist but people don't usually change on their own.
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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
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LOL Denise, as a psychotherapist I know that answer!! xo
PS How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
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Hi Ladies
Denise You are so good getting me to laugh. Sometimes I don't log in I just come in to read the posts and hope that you posted. I want to thank you for your sense of humor and sharing it
I also agree that most people do not change unless there is divine intervention! Personally, I would not hang around waiting for this type of change. I did that and wasted alot of time.
Well, I met a guy for breaksfast today. He claims he is a PhD. I checked him out on the net.
He told me he is 69, the info I could find on him states that he is 71!
Didn't confront him because I really lost interest after finding this out. I lived with a liar for 14 years and I am not going to accept another dishonest person into my life.
I am getting nervous and excited about tomorrow: That is when I am suppose to meet
Prince Charming. I hope it is not disappointing. I am trying to stay neutral. Oh, I also told him about the bc. He didn't seem affected by it. He is still driving 4 hours to see me.
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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None - because they don't need to change???
Painted Lady - shaving 2 years off his age might not be a dealbreaker. My mom never lies and she shaved a few years off her Match profile so she was 69 instead of 70+. It just sounds younger. Of course, she can get away with it because she looks marvvvvelous.
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As for my sense of humour - I'm laughing on the outside, crying on the inside just like the "Tears of a Clown".
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Oh Denise, I know what you mean--hang in there sister.
Ok, How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: "That's not funny"
I love that one, takes a minute. . . . .
Good luck to all my bc sisters looking for love! We are worth it!!!
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Denise I sort of know what you mean. I smile on the outside but some of the time, I am really sad.
I just logged out of POF: I think lots of these guys are lying about their age. I have never seen so many guys who say they are 60 but they look like they are 70 in their pictures.
Just don't want another liar. I can't handle it and refuse to deal with it.
Dragon I am getting nervous now like you mentioned. I am trying to fight the anxiety, but it is difficult.
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