Australian Sisters
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Grrr. just posted a nice long newsy message to you all, but then nothing happened! so I'm going to be brief this time.
Things are OK with me. Today is my 1st caniversary. I can't belive it. It just seems like yesterday and every detail is razor sharp in my mind. Thank goodness though I can officially turn the corner and it really is now part of my history and not a current event - well apart from the Herceptin every three weeks until April that is, but really that doesn't take very long and doesn't impact on my life in anyway.
Just think gals, a year ago I didn't know any of you and now here I am on the brink of meeting up with a lot of you. That is ONE good thing to come of this. xxxxxx
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aussie - not going to lie... It was pretty painful and although it is now not painful it is uncomfortable by the end of the day due to swelling (and gravity...).
This is week 3 after my surgery and I'm not supposed to drive for another week yet. Really don't think I would want to this week anyway.
Went to the local shops with my girlfriend today and had a pedicure. So nice...
Jenn0 -
Aussie12, I can't help much but can you take a little while to decide? Are you a public or private patient? Are you able to go interstate for your preferred surgery if it is suitable?
Have you posted on the BCNA site or contacted the Cancer Council? These options are worth exploring.
Let us know how you go. Good luck :-).0 -
Kate, I agree, the only good thing. Condolences on your cancerversary. That's how I feel.
Jenn, take it easy!0 -
Hi all, here in Adelaide
Trying to sort out what we are going to do over the next few days.
Will keep you posted
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Woohoo Aly!! Welcome to my neck of the woods......lol......enjoy you stay in the city and can't wait till next Monday!! It's coming up fast!.....lol.
Kate happy canciversary!! Glad that one has passed for you and it's onward and upward from here. Can't wait till December!!
Jenn glad to here that you are getting better each day........before you know it you will be walking straight up and flashing your bikini body.....woohoo!
Had a great day on Sunday at my niece's engagement party. Got to catch up with DSIL from Wallaroo and ended up driving her home and spending the night at her place as well as most of the day on Monday before heading home again. The rest of the week will be spent cooking for DD's family get together with her fiance's family on Sunday as well as doing the engagement cake. She popped that one on me on Sunday.
Hope you all have a great rest of the week and if I don't pop in you'll all know why.....lol.
Live n hugs. Chrissy0 -
Someone just put this on one of the other message threads and it's so RIGHT I am copying here... Jenn
"Your relationships are about to change. All of them. Some will get stronger. They will probably not be with the people you would expect. The people you want to handle this well might not be able to for a variety of reasons. Some of the reasons will be selfish. Some of them will be entirely innocent and circumstantial. All of them will be forgivable because no one plans for cancer. Carrying bitterness or anger won't help your recovery. Fighting for anyone to stick with you won't cure you. Those who can, will.
You will be determined to have more energy than you do. You will convince yourself that you are thinking straight, are able to handle all of this and do not need anyone. You will run out fuel. Your body will change first and your mind will follow. You won't lose your mind, memories or sensibility. It will all come back. But, you will be different. You will never have the same sense of self. You should embrace this. Your old self was probably really great. Your transformed self will be even better. Give into what is happening and trust it.
You are going to feel fear. Even if you are normally stubborn, confident and seemingly invincible you will finally find yourself admitting that you are scared of something. Cancer is scary and incredibly confusing. The unknowing will eat at you worse than the disease itself. You'll need distractions. Music and sleep will probably be the ones you resort to most. Reading will become difficult. So will watching TV or movies, having conversations, writing and basically everything else. They call it "chemo brain" for a reason. You will feel normal eventually. Just a new kind of normal. When you feel afraid let yourself lean on those around you. Cry. Be vulnerable. You are vulnerable. There will be time for strength, but never admitting weakness will cause anxiety to mount and your condition to worsen. Let it all out. Yell if you need to. Sing when you feel up to it. Sob uncontrollably. Apologize for your mood swings. Treatments and prescriptions will often be the cause of them. The people that love you will understand.
The people that love you will be just as scared as you are. Probably more. They will be worrying even when they are smiling. They will assume you are in more pain than you are. They will be thinking about you dying and preparing for life without you. They will go through a process that you will never understand just like they will never understand the process you are going through. Let them process. Forgive them when they don't understand. Exercise patience when you can. Know that those that were built for this will be there when you get to the other side and you will all be able to laugh together again. You'll cry together too. Then you'll get to a place where you will just live in the world again together and that is when you know that you have beaten this.
The sooner you recognize that you are mortal, the sooner you can create the mentality for survival. There is a chance you might not make it. Just like there is a chance that you will. Don't look at statistics. You are unique and what is happening inside you is unique. Your fight is yours alone and there are too many factors to compare yourself to others that have had your condition. No one will want you to think about death, but you won't have a choice. You will think about it from the moment you are given your diagnosis. Come to terms with it. Calmly accept it. Then, shift every thought you have into believing that you won't die. You are going to beat this. Your mental focus on that fact will be more powerful than any treatment you receive.
Your doctors and nurses will become your source of comfort. You will feel safe with them. If you do not feel safe with them you need to change your care provider immediately. There is no time to waste. This shouldn't be a game played on anyone's terms but yours. When you find the right caretakers you will know immediately. Do not let insurance, money or red tape prevent you from getting the treatment you deserve. This is your only shot. There is always a way. Find those hands that you trust your life in and willingly give it to them. They will quickly bring you a sense of calm. They will spend time answering your questions. There will be no stupid questions to them. They won't do anything besides make you feel like you are the most important life that exists. They will never make you feel like they don't have things in control. They will be honest and accessible at all times. They might even become your friends. You might celebrate with them over drinks months or years after they have cured you. They deserve your gratitude, respect and appreciation daily. If you get upset at them during treatment know that they'll forgive you. They get that you're going through something they can't imagine- but they understand better than anyone. They see it every day and they choose to be there because they want to make the worst experience of your life more tolerable.
You will need to find balance after treatment. Start by seeking balance during treatment. Eat well. Sleep well. Listen to your body. Explore meditation. Experiment with new forms of exercise that aren't so demanding. Embrace massage and other body therapies. Go to therapy. A therapist will be able to guide you through your journey in ways you could never fathom. Do not be too proud to speak to someone. You cannot afford to store up the intensity of the emotion that comes with fighting a life-threatening illness. Let it out for yourself. You will begin to hear your voice changing. That voice is who you are becoming in the face of mortality. Listen to that voice. It will be the purest, most authentic version of you that you have ever known. Bring that person into the world -- strengths and vulnerabilities and everything between. Be that person forever.
You will inspire others. It will feel weird. People you haven't spoken to since grade school will be in touch. Ex-girlfriends, former colleagues... even people you felt never wanted to talk to you again. The influx of interest in your seemingly fading life will be greater than any living moment you have ever experienced. That support is what will shift a fading life into a surviving one. Be grateful for every message. Be appreciative of each gift and each visit. There will be moments where all of this attention will make you feel lonelier than you have ever felt in your life. In a hospital room full of people with messages stuffing your inbox, voicemail and mailbox you will find yourself feeling completely alone. This is when you will realize that you could afford to have a stronger relationship with yourself. That only you walk this earth with 100% investment in you. Make the investment and use this as an opportunity to reexamine your self-worth. Love yourself more than ever and recognize how much love there is for you in the world. Then start sharing that love. You will come to see that even when you are the neediest person you know you can still be giving. Giving will make you feel better than taking.
When you get to the other side you won't believe it. They will tell you the disease is gone. Everyone you know will rejoice and return back to their lives. You'll constantly wonder if it is coming back. Slowly this feeling will fade, but cancer will always be a part of you. It will define how you see the world moving forward. You're going to feel like the future is a funny thing to think about because the present is going to suddenly seem incredibly important. Keep moving. You'll be more productive. You'll understand who truly loves you because they will still be there. You'll want to meet new people that connect to the newly evolved version of your old self. You'll want to let go of those that don't "get" who you are now. You'll feel a little guilty doing it. Then, you'll move on. You don't have time to waste. The greatest gift you've been given is that you now understand that and you're going to make the most of every second. You're going to be the most passionate person you know going forward. Translate that passion to a greater purpose. Be fearless again.
I was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 27. Now 28, I have been told I have no trace of the disease in my body.
Jeff Tomczek is a freelance writer and the founder of C2Bseen, offering consulting services to niche brands and entrepreneurs.
Follow Jeff Tomczek on Twitter: www.twitter.com/C2Bseen"0 -
Wow Jenn that's powerful and right on. I wish all newbies to bc could read it and actually believe it.
Kate - good to hear from you girl! One year is a big milestone, now it's onwards and upwards.
Chrissy - you are so busy you are making my head spin lol. I don't have much energy today - bad night's sleep last night. That doesn't happen very often these days, thank goodness, but I have a corn on one toe that I'm treating with those corn eater thingys and it was aching last night, and on top of that I'm getting a bad dose of hayfever. Grass is seeding everywhere and that's generally my downfall. Will be getting some antihistamines on the way home from work today.
Aussie - good luck with your decision. A hard one to make I would think.
Hope everyone else is well?
Kelpie - how are you going sweetie? You had a treatment on Friday didn't you? Thinking of you ((((hugs))))
Trish
xoxoxo
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Hi, it's me again dropping in for my chat with my Aussie/NZ friends. Been reading some of your posts, have a couple of things to say:
Trisha-Anne - You'll always find a warm welcome and a bed in Denver, just let me know if you get this direction!
Kate60 - congrats on your one-year ca anniversary - so happy for you!
melmax01 - welcome to this forum, so glad you joined us here. Even though I'm in Colorado, I was in Perth when I went through breast cancer so I still have a lot of love for that side of the world. I write a blog to help women get through breast cancer and I have heaps of articles there that might assist you. Just let me know if I can help.
Racy - congrats on your two-year ca anniversary, great feeling and keep going!
Aussie12 - you've got to do what's best for YOU, not your PS. I've heard both good and bad things about implants vs DIEP. I was lucky and just had a lumpectomy followed by the LD flap surgery so I don't speak from experience, just from the numerous subscribers to my blog and what they've shared with me. With implants you have tissue expanders and I know a lot of women that absolutely hated that side of the experience and wish they'd done the DIEP. I just found today a remarkable website that may help you make the decision: http://www.breastreconstruction.org/ I wish you a wonderful healing journey and let me know if I can help in any way.
My hubbie is home and I can hear his stomach growling, time to go make him some "tea" (as it's called there!).
Lotsa love to everyone! Enjoy that spring weather, it's autumn here and we're crunching through the leaves. xoxox
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Hi all
I went to my appointment today and I think I still want an implant, the DEIP just looks to painful. I haven't got big boobs so I think that the implant is right for my size.
Mclark thanks for your advice, I think that the Doctors just want to do the more involved surgery as they are perfectionists, but they themselves don't have to have the actual surgery and the pain.
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Jenn, thanks for the re-post. So true.
Aussie, Jenn can advise about her surgery (if she hasn't already).
Hi everyone else :-).0 -
Most of my steristrips are off now. The abdominal incision is pretty shocking to see as it is so long, and it is definitely the main source of discomfort now. The good news though is that I have taken no pain meds today so definite improvement!
Wasn't feeling as tired today either - no afternoon sleep...
Jenn0 -
hey everyone!
things have been up and down still with me. still not found work but i did get asked to do some clerical testing for a job i had applied for recently but i havent found out how I went yet. income protection has finished a few months ago but i am getting more money from centrelink so at least that takes somne pressure off.
hope everyone is doing ok.
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Hi all,
Had good day in Adelaide today. Wandered around this morning sorting out the place. Got back to the hotel about 2.30 so had a rest then tonight went to see the Mouse Trap. Each time we have been in London have meant to go but never made it. Well worth seeing.
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Melp27 I was wondering how you were going, it's good to hear from you. I will keep everything crossed for you for the job. And I'm so glad some of the financial pressure is off now.
Jenn - good to hear you are getting a bit better each day too. No afternoon nap is a big step forward! Yay!
Aussie, stick to your guns - it's your body, not the surgeon's so you have the final say.
Aly - have another good day - sounds like you are having fun.
Well, we have been getting lots of enquiries for wedding photography which is great news. Have been asked to call someone later this evening to discuss a wedding, so that's promising - hopefully we can get a contract signed!
Trish
xoxo
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Sitting in the Herceptin chair :-/ Getting to hate this place - they are so slow. My appt time was 9.30am and they finally hung the infusion bag to start at 11.20am.
Jenn0 -
Jenn alot of valuable time is wasted waiting, i think BC patients and anybody who is dx with something in the cancer line wait for a lot of things to happen and wait a long time too. it is very annoying for you i am sure. hope it went ok. you will need a rest after that lot. tae care Jenn, warm hugs
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Had a very busy day in Adelaide, State Library, museum, Art gallery then walked up to the cathedral. Saw the cricket ground but couldn't go in as it is being redone. Went out to Glenelg on the tram which is a treat for us. Tomorrow we are going a trip on the Murray. And guess what my feet are protesting.
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Ladies, that crystal healing was absolutely amazing. First thing out of her mouth was that I had a closed heart chakra and that can cause breast cancer. I didnt say anything and we went on and she picked the bad back, the emtional wounds and we ended up going half an hour late lol. (I did say I had a lot of issues haha). The reports back from all the other retailers are that she was spot on and everyone of us felt amazing as we left. Unbelieavable what she does with our energies. Anyway Im at work so i thought Id pop in and tell you how wonderful it was.
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Alyson, that sounds like a great day in Adelaide.
Lynda, I am a skeptic but am glad your experience was valuable for you. Please share the cure if you know what it is.0 -
Aly - where are you staying??? Have you been to the City Markets yet??? Great experience - love it there. That's where I met up with Chrissy in June
I can recommend Brunelli's in Rundle Street - great breakfasts. We did the Murray river trip on a day when it was 43 degrees - I had a swim in the river - loved it!!Also, there is a fantastic restaurant in Hyde Park on King William St called Melt. Tapas and pizza to die for. They have a city location too, but we haven't been there yet.
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Phew Aly! You are definitely going to need a rest by the time you get here......!
Linda glad you are feeling so good after the crystal therapy. Here's hoping the effects last a while.
Spent the afternoon cleaning and honestly I can't even see where I've been.........either I have a clean house or its so bad it's going to take a cleaning crew to see any improvement 😟
Love n hugs all! Chrissy0 -
hey ladies
i got a call for an interview for the job!!! i was shocked!! its on monday morning in adelaide cbd. i have trouble selling my good points during interviews ive found. also i stutter when i get nervous when im feeling confident my speech is good. anyone know any tips so that things flow well with my speech
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Melp, try to imagine the interviewer in their underwear. That should relax you.....lol ......my older brother told me to do that many years ago and it always worked for me.
Good luck!!
Love n hugs. Chrissy0 -
Oh Melp I'm so pleased for you, of course now I can't uncross anything because I'll keep it all crossed for you at the interview lol. Remember what I told you about being interviewed. You know what you can do - you know YOU better than anyone, so that's an area where you are confident. Make sure you go into the interview with the intention of interviewing them too - you need to know that you will be comfortable working for them. So you need to relax and treat them as if they are work colleagues, and not potential employers. Over the weekend write down the answers to all the common questions:
1 Tell me about yourself and your work experience
2 Tell me what are your strengths, what do you do well
3 Give me an example where you've had to solve a problem in the workplace
These are only a couple, I don't know what the organisation is or the job role that you are going for, but put yourself into that position and try to work out what sort of job specific questions they may ask you. The above 3 are fairly generic questions and if you write something down in your own words and practice, practice, practice then you'll be able to go in with more confidence.
Go get em girl - you can do it!!
Aly - sounds like you are having a ball!
Chrissy - you described my house lol - I need a cleaning crew.
We (RT Photos) are excited! We have a second bride interview next week and she sounds really keen, so I think we'll get this gig too!! Wedding is in Canberra which makes it even easier.
Everything else going well, I'm still feeling great, and slowly, slowly taking a bit more weight off.
Trishxoxo
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Morning all.
Melmax, hugs for your first chemo today. Thinking of you.
Melp good luck for your interview on Monday. +ve thoughts.
Chrissy you are welcome to come and clean my house.
I have had DS away on school camp all this week. He comes home this afternoon, I have missed him lots but enjoyed the break.
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hey Trish, you have given me some good questions for interviews that we need to ask perhaps. we have not found anybody, have enlisted with work and income to see if they have anybody on their books who is qualified, which i need to call back today, would you like to do the interviews, we may get somewhere. sound like you know where yr at. we must be be failing somewhere and hubby is too exhausted to do it as we have to do it at night when we need to relax.
Good luck Melp for yr interview, it is nerve wracking from the other side as well,hope you do very well though. we the ones conducting them, You dont want to drive trucks do you? unfortuanately you too far away.
lol Chrissy, i dont know if i would want to inmagine some of them in their underware, put me off the job, i heard that too when doing a verbal exam for the elderly rest home cert. imagine the examainers in there undies. cant remember if it worked or not.
hope eerybody ok, we have labour weekend, so its a long one. which will be be busy alot of the time. will relax today.
Take care ladies, enjoy yr day.
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Hope everybody is having a good day. everybody is either having a quiet one or very busy. but whatever you doing. enjoy. hugs to everyone.
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I have been listening to Kylie's voice :-) Transcribing the interview I did with her a number of weeks ago for my uni subject...
It was a 1 hour interview and has taken me 3 hrs of listening and typing so far to transcribe. Still got another hour's worth of listening I think...
Jenn0 -
I did that kinda thing in a communication class for nursing i did back in 2002. It was ment to be a 10 minute video and we had to do an assingnment, we had to comment on each question we asked, and the answer, describing the kind of question, in the interview. it was written and then typed and we had to listen and stop it and play it again over and over. i was pleased to say i passed it first time and ther was only four that did first time around. alot of them had four go's at diung it and i helped one in the end, she did pass it eventually. so kinda got the gist of what your doing, probably a long the same lines, but more complex thant i did and longer. take care. hope you are feeling alot better.
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