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Physical aging appearance

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  • mscal02
    mscal02 Member Posts: 167
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    Hi Ladies. Mosturize! Mosturize! Mosturize! Stick your chest out! Lift those shoulders!  Don't loose your hip swaying walk. Put on your makeup even if it is only mascara and eyeliner! Dress younger! Listen to good music and dance! Hang around younger people sometimes.Eat plenty of fruit and veggies. I find that when I do this I feel better and look better! Our bodies have been through the ringer but we don't have to give in to the side effects. Don't stop doing the things that made you feel good before cancer.Sometimes I act so silly and don't care what others think! especially on vacation. I say these people don't know me. In hind sight sometimes I think OMGG ,I might end up on you tube!

  • jan508
    jan508 Member Posts: 724
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    great advice mscal02!!!!

    You Go Girl!!!

    Jan

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,042
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    Act silly even when you are NOT on vacation!!! I want to be on you tube with you mscal!!!

  • voraciousreader
    voraciousreader Member Posts: 3,696
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    Besides good shoes...which I mentioned a couple of pages back...(Waldlaufer, Mephisto, Finn Comfort, among others....)

    Wear properly fitting clothes.  You don't have to spend alot of money on clothes...except, sometimes for good fitting shoes, of course...but the thing that I find that makes people's appearance awful is ill fitting clothes OR not taking the time to find something "decent" to wear.  Believe it or not, I've never left the house in sweat pants...except for an MRI or when I've needed day-op surgery!  Walmart carries nice slacks that are as equally comfortable as sweat pants and they make me feel good and look slender. Ditto for JC Penney.  On sale, you can get some really nice machine washable, no iron slacks for as little as $15!

    And accessories!  I have scarves and costume jewelry necklaces that I wear all the time.  I wear a $5  t-shirt with a $10 necklace and feel like a million bucks!  Switch it up with a little sweater or button down collared shirt...and voila!   It's way, way cheaper than Botox..or the make-up counter at the department store!

    And if you're not sure how to dress, then by all means find a friend who DOES know how to dress and invite them shopping with you!  I'm always helping out my friends and family.  Years ago, I figured out I was a "petite" and what a difference it's made!  You'd be surprised who is petite!  You can be a size 18 and STILL be petite.  Figure it out! 

    I'm not into makeup except for a little foundation and eyeliner.  No mascara -- I'm allergic.  Wanna know my fountain of youth?  Sheer lipstick with lipstain.  Boots sheer lipstick by Target and Cover Girl's lipstain are THE BOMB!

    One final point about dressing.  Take risks!  Whether it be a new color or style or fabric -- try it!  I never thought I looked good in yellow and recently I found yellow and black or yellow and white to actually look good on me.  Who knew?  And if you are afraid to take a risk, then just fill your wardrobe with all kinds of white shirts!  Button down, sleeveless, short sleeve, v neck, boat neck...but remember -- make sure they fit and wear a necklace with them. 

    And lastly, SMILE!  That always makes you look and feel younger!Kiss

  • Nordy
    Nordy Member Posts: 1,106
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    Yes - I agree about the way you dress says a lot! I can't remember who said something about old people wearing turtle necks... I had to laugh. I LOVE turtle necks, I love to stay warm. I have a long thin neck and have always worn turtle necks. Well... those days may soon be gone. Old people really do wear them to stay warm. It is not because they are flattering when you are old... because they are not. I have noticed that where the turtle neck sits falls right in a perfect spot to accentuate my jowels. LOLOLOLOLOL... I am so sad, because I love to be warm! But now that I have boobs again, I am going for a nice v-neck so that the eye is drawn to my cleavage and not my jowels! Oh, and I have to say the same for hair cuts. I FINALLY found a hairdresser that does not cut my hair at the jaw line! I don't know why some of these beauticians can cut hair and not see that if it lays right at a person's JOWEL (no longer jaw) line, that it accentuates the jowels!!! I am growing mine a bit longer, again, to pull the eye AWAY from my jowels!!!

  • MelG
    MelG Member Posts: 4
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    I was diagnosed on my 41st birthday.   Up until then, I looked younger than my age.   The day I lost my hair, I bit into something hard and my upper eye-tooth fell out.   I remember standing in the shower looking at my mastectomy scars, my bald head and my missing tooth (the dentist wouldn't touch it for a couple of weeks as on chemo), and wishing I could just disappear down the shower drain!   With my bandana on, all I needed was a parrot on my shoulder and the image would be complete... 

    Since then (that was 2003), I have incorporated a LOT of raw foods into my diet - lots of fruit and veg, and ditched the dairy.   It took a year or two, but eventually all returned to normal. 

    I still have a few drinks and smoke the occasional cigarette, but you've got to have *some* vices, right?  

    Love Mel  

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 4,520
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    I loved turtle necks as a kid and into my adult years...I felt my neck was skinny and didn't like showing it off...plus they were warm....I had turtlenecks in every color....no more...don't own one!!! would die of heat in a turtle neck!!!

     Another great place to shop are the thrift stores and consignment stores...I have more name brand clothes now than I ever did because I look for the 50% in the thrift stores....and often the items are like new and still in style!

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,042
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    Nora Ephron wrote a book about aging; the book itself was so-so, but the title was great "I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK".
  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
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    "Believe it or not, I've never left the house in sweat pants"
    Same here unless I'm going to the gym. I didn't even wear my yoga pants home for the hospital after my BMX.

    "You'd be surprised who is petite!"
    I'm 5'6" and a petite with long arms & legs. Granted I can't buy petite unless it's shorts or no sleeved shirts because the arms/legs will be too short but I do have a petite body. My legs are so long (33") for my height and body size that I many times have trouble finding regular sized pants long enough. It's been an issue all my life but who's going to complain about long legs.

    Yes I am a believer if you look like shit you feel like shit. In my case I never look like shit so no one ever knows when I'm ill (or going though chemo). Look at my avatar. That was less than a couple of weeks after chemo #4. Even my onc tells me I look great every time I see her for chemo. Yes I still look that good now that I'm going into chemo #6 tomorrow. If I didn't wear makeup, my cool scarves and funky earrings I know I'd look like hell.

    Also pay attention to the way you walk. Stand up straight. When I went to at Looks Good Feel Better session this one gal I had connected up with earlier started to say something about how I walked out of the room. I asked her what's up. She said I walked like a model. IMO models walk with confidence. I loved the compliment.

  • crazy4carrots
    crazy4carrots Member Posts: 624
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    Nordy:  Re turtlenecks; here's a rather funny story -  At an annual luncheon of past-presidents of a volunteer  organization, I, who had been the youngest Pres., was the only one NOT wearing a turtleneck.  Everyone noticed, and commented on it, and laughed about it too!  Well, that was about 5 years ago, pre-BC and Femara.  Now I too wear turtlenecks!  However, I've managed to keep the crow's feet away, mostly because I always have worn sunglasses outdoors.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
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    Turtle necks cover crepey necks......Cool....the first time I read that I thought they were trying to say crappy necks!

    Diane Keaton is probably the biggest example.

  • mscal02
    mscal02 Member Posts: 167
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    Don't give in to the turtle necks. Sleek neck lines are in. You can get away with a pretty scarf  around your neck now through April. Wear the mocked turtle necks if you must. Wear a cotton camisole or tank top to keep you warm. Try the cowl tops they are still turtle necks but with a drop in the neckline and wear chunky necklaces or shell necklaces with them. Dress pretty and the attention will be drawn away from your face.I have long legs too but have discovered so many stores now offer clothes for long legged gals even Walmart.I purchased a couple of those cheap lace front wigs like the movie stars wear.They look so much like your real hair. When I went to radiation the nurse commented on how nice my hair always looked. One day they must have been discussing it because the receptionist ran up to me and asked if it was a lace front. They know by this time in the game if you have had chemo you should not have hair. Of course I bought the sexiest ones.Don't loose your sex appeal. Get some if you did not have any before. I don't care how religious, how old, how wrinkled we get ,we still like it when men look. Especially a second look!

  • IHOP
    IHOP Member Posts: 24
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    Can someone give advice for dressing those who gained most weight in the abdomen.  Besides going to the maternity department.  I actually got that suggestion and at the time was apparently not in the mood to hear it. Also, due to my mobility issues, it must include pants/slacks.

  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 333
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    Great thread!  I have always worn turtlenecks...I live in Minnesota...lol.  Now they serve a dual purpose!

    One thing I did learn at a very young age - my Great Aunt had beautiful skin.  Never use soap.  Moisturize in the morning after you shower when you skin is most moist to capture the moisture and instead of soap, a gentle cleanser in the shower.  At night, simply splash with warm water and dry.  For makeup - mineral types but watch the ingredients - bare minerals is great and good for the skin - the 'imitations' contain other ingredients. 

    I will not do the botox but at 56, I am starting to have the family-inheritated 'jowls' for which I intend to get a lift once I stop working. 

    I will have to look into the parabans - I am a pretty good label reader and usually will stick to one or two products - alternating between Regenerist and Neutrogena - have reduced the forehead and eye lines but the jowls mouth lines are not really responding - small ones but the deep ones - its lift time.

  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
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    I have used Cetaphil® Gentle Skin Cleanser since I was in high school as a facial cleanser. (Never liked the newer face cleaner product).
  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,042
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    Gosh, I think we are a bunch of hot chicks!!!! Cool
  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
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    So ruth is the finger & toenail painting party at your palce tonight… We need to do it soon before the rest of mine fall off Tongue out
  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 47,042
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    I kept my fingernails painted all during chemo & they did OK.  I had trouble with my unpainted toenails. Interestingly (and perhaps coincidentally) another person I know painted her toenails & they were fine, but she had trouble with her unpainted fingernails. So I would say to paint everything!!!

  • jelson
    jelson Member Posts: 622
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    I was advised to apply a mixture of jojoba oil and aloe vera to my face, with more jojoba oil added in the winter, which I do.

    Here is a fashion blog by two women who are around 60 years of age. hats! great jewelry! and manicured nails!   http://idiosyncraticfashionistas.blogspot.com/

    and my mother, despairing that I couldn't afford to slump - being only  5' tall - would always tell me reach for the stars, stand up straight, shoulders back etc.Flash forward 45 years and as a result of kayaking - that is exactly what I do now and my posture is better now than as a teen ager. and I haven't lost height - yet. ANOTHER THING TO FREAK OUT ABOUT

    Julie 

    Julie 

  • claire_in_seattle
    claire_in_seattle Member Posts: 2,793
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    My silk g-string next-to-nothings got me through a lot.

    Not great at fingernail/toenail advice as my tip is that cleaning toilets and tub w/o gloves keeps my cuticles in place.  I have also found that getting my ski/cycling socks wet softens the toenail cuticles and makes them easy to trim.

    I still think exercise and getting outside is the magic bullet.

    Darlene.....they make "bodyshapers" that should help with your problem.  I am useless with recommendations here as don't wear.  I would say to take yourself and some reasonably tight clothes to Nordstrom's lingerie section and get help.  While you are at it, get fitted for a bra, if you are able to wear them.

    Because it's the whole deal.  You need the more form-fitting stuff so you can see if the undergarments do anything for you.  Other than that, slacks with stretch waistlines.  And tops that hit below the butt to wear over.  A nice scarf at the neckline to draw the eye upwards.  Great shoes.  A bright handbag.

    And a smile Laughing

  • claire_in_seattle
    claire_in_seattle Member Posts: 2,793
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    Julie.... I am not doing middle age well. Yes, I agree on the hats/jewelry, but.....

    My list also includes cleavage (as mine looks just fab), tight trousers (as long as flattering for butt....not a new issue), silk undies, skinny turtleneck sweaters and Ts to show off my toned upper body.

    I would concede to flattering colors though.  Life is too short to wear stuff that gives my skin an orange-green hue.

    And the most fab lipstick to brighten up my face.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
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    I find that with my belly, a top or jacket that comes to just below my waist is better than a long one. I used to wear long ones, but as I have a booty, I looked like a tent! If you're trim and slim it can be very elegant. When I started wearing shorter tops, people said holy cow, you've lost weight! (pun intended) I think zippers and buttons at the waist are acceptable to help hide some weight and the short sweater or jacket puffs out so you don't really see the waist.....or the fact that I don't have breasts! Kiss
  • wenweb
    wenweb Member Posts: 471
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    Question for all of the coconut oil users.  I bought some today, not realizing that it was as hard as it is.  Do you heat it up each time or just use it as is?

    Thanks 

  • susand
    susand Member Posts: 65
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    Wenweb, coconut oil melts when it is applied to your skin.  In the summer it is much softer and sometimes liquid. I have never had to heat it before use. 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
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    Where do you find coconut oil? I know coconuts don't have oil themselves, or milk, so I'm always surprised when they can extract this stuff.

  • voraciousreader
    voraciousreader Member Posts: 3,696
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    DarleneD - I agree with getting a body slimmer.

    My sister has alot of fat around her belly and has huge breasts.Button down blouses will pop open on her  It's often hard to find clothes that fit her.   But, thankfully, it's NOT impossible.  These are the things we look for when helping her find clothes that fit:

    First off, RUCHING.  Ruching is her BEST FRIEND.  It is VERY forgiving.  Do a google search for ruched blouses.  Try them on! Buy them by the bagful!

    Darts are also your best friend.  Blouses that have darts in the back, as well as the front, give you a slimmer appearance.  And look for 5 or 10% spandex.  Wonderful!

    Some might disagree with me, but STAY AWAY FROM BIG HORIZONTAL PRINTS.  I'm not crazy about big prints either.   If you must have them, then buy a few and a scarf or two with the horizontal pattern.

    I disagree about having to wear clothes that cover your butt.  If you have a nice butt, you can layer your blouses to your hip and also show your booty. 

    When my sister visits me, we head off to a store called Ashley Stewart.  They are a chain and have a website.  They carry clothes for plus size women...with an edge!  They also carry a large selection of petite-plus size clothes.  Despite being heavy, m sister has small arms and lives in Florida.  Most sleeveless blouses gape on her around her armpits and her bra shows.  With petite-plus size, the blouses are cut smaller where she needs it.  I've never been able to shop in Ashley Stewart because I'm very small, but I have to say, if I were a plus size, I'd be shopping there often.

    I also want to add one more thing on the subject of hair.  I know what a difficult topic it is for those of you who lost your hair and ache for its return. I just want to mention that I watched a DVD about the advertising world yesterday, "Art and Copy."  Interviewed for the documentary was Phyllis Robinson who was famous for all of the Clariol ads, if you recall that said, "It lets me be me..."  In the interview, which was taped probably a year or two ago...she was in her late 80s and had salt and pepper hair.  She looked beautiful.  And then, what blew me away was she said, "And I never colored my hair!"  I googled her yesterday and found out that she died, New Year's eve.  Her obituaries are now being written.  I guess with the holidays, her death fell off the radar.  But now she's getting her recognition.  I find it so ironic...here's a woman who was paid to get it in our heads that coloring our hair was good for us and yet, she rejected it for herself!

    So ladies,  all I have to say is Do what YOU think makes you feel young.  And, if you're not sure...that's okay!  You can always ask for help!Kiss

  • barbaraa
    barbaraa Member Posts: 3,548
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    If you just dig into the oil, it will melt onto your hands. Or use a teaspoon and place it on your hands then rub as it melts.

  • wenweb
    wenweb Member Posts: 471
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    Thanks all for the coconut oil info.

    Barbe I saw the coconut oil at the health food store, and then saw the same brand at my local grocery store in the "health food" section for $4 less.

  • rgiuff
    rgiuff Member Posts: 339
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    I just bought a big jar of coconut oil for $4 at my local Indian grocery store.

  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
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    I purchased extra virgin coconut oil at Whole Foods. I don't usually shop there because they are $$ but I needed the coconut oil and they were at the end of my power walk on day.

    I purchased the 16oz jar of this: http://www.jarrow.com/product/210/Coconut_Oil_Extra_Virgin