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Bonfire of the Goddesses

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  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited February 2011
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    Sandee - I do want to aplogize for my behavior. I was not in a good mood this morning and should have explained myself better.  Now that I re read it, I sound like a madwomen.  I don't understand how some can think that because one is older that their prognosis is better and a young person.  Tha is making quite an assumption on their part.  You are right, some should keep their comments to themselves.

       

  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,781
    edited February 2011
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    Jo- nothing to apologize for. I was just seeking clarification about what had struck a chordCool...sometimes it is hard to get out the ideas we want to say...I am begininng to think people just don't think....period. or they spout off in all directions with no information to back up what they are saying ...or they are parroting what others have said. All very confusing. Bottom line is..no one really knows whose prognosis is good or not....people have lasted well beyond what their doctor's have predicted and vice versa....all we can do is fight the good fight, stay as positive as possible and let it ou every once and awhile I suppose...glad this is a safe place to do that!

    Sandee

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited February 2011
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  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited February 2011
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    Sandee - I guess I get so frustrated with people who many comments about cancer of any type and have not idea what they are talking about.  They think they know but really don't.  Hey!  This is an idea, I am going to throw all those people in the fire.  You girls in the snow storms need a place to get your hands warm.

    Yes, I am glad this is a safe place to vent.  Once I am done, into the fire it goes.  

     Sheila - Way too cute!

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
    edited February 2011
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    Hi Sheila....you got nothin to burn?????stay away from the fire...lots of sparks are still flyin.ha

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited February 2011
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    granny...I just burned my 5 pound fat.Wink
  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,572
    edited February 2011
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    I wanna throw in that nasty Neulasta shot.  I cant stand them.

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited February 2011
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  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited February 2011
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    just stopping by to let you ladies know "I hear ya" burn, baby burn!!! 3jays

  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 3,600
    edited February 2011
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  • GirlFriday
    GirlFriday Member Posts: 203
    edited February 2011
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    Did I throw in the "God's will" attitude earlier?  Let me clarify this so as not to offend.  I'm tired of the older women that basically say I'm going to survive if it's"God's Will"...it's a judgemental thing on their part.  Like God has smited me with cancer because I have misbehaved.  I hate that attitude and that condescension.  I'm also tired of the curious who want the gory details.  They are my details, and it's my cancer.  I don't want to share them with you.  And I don't want to hear your stories about what you know abut OTHER people's pain.  I want you to stop smothering me with your "willingness to help" because it really just feels like another way for you to condescend. Stop waiting for me to crumble or fail.  My pain is my own.  You can't have it.  But I will gladly add it to the fire so it may help another who is cold and who respects me.  Your ignorance and superiority goes onto the fire with my pain.

  • jsmiley60
    jsmiley60 Member Posts: 31
    edited February 2011
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    So glad I found this thread!! I think I will start with throwing bc onto the fire and all the wasted days in the past year and a half that I spent sleeping or laying around from the chemo treatments, surgeries, radiation, fatigue!!

    How about throwing the side effects from all of the above treatments on the fire! And all of the side effects from the stupid AI, Arimidex, I must take for 5 years!! Also I want to throw on the fire all the medical bills I have now and will continue to have!! And I'm throwing in all the employees of doctors offices, hospitals, etc. that were less than super nice and compassionate to me, that did not return my phone call, did not LISTEN to what I needed or wanted and answered me wrong or just plain DIDN'T LISTEN, did not do what they said they would do or did not do it the way I asked them to do it!! And all the insensitive people that said really stupid stuff or did really stupid stuff to me. And all the people that could not or would not handle my bc so they abandoned me or just plain were not there!!

    Oh and all the paperwork and pamphlets and books I have on bc would keep the fire burning for a LONG TIME! And all the depression, anxiety, fear, discouragement, grief and any other negative emotion that I felt throughout this ordeal and still am struggling with need to be added to the fire!

    I think that's it for now, but I might be back! Thanks for providing a safe place for me to unload all this!

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited February 2011
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    Jeanne - Welcome to the group.  This is a fantastic place to get rid of all the BC crap.  

    GirlFriday - I agree with everything you said.  I have an assistant manager who thinks she knows everything about everything.  All I heard was  about her cousin - Janet - who went through BC a couple of years ago and what her experience was.  Because she did not experience some things, I shouldn't have.  I was just trying to get attention.  P@ss on her - she keeps getting out of the fire somehow, so back in she goes.   

  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 4,503
    edited February 2011
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    I want to through in Cancer!!!  I am tired of it invading my family, time to burn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • vivvygirl
    vivvygirl Member Posts: 171
    edited February 2011
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    In a couple of days I am coming up to the 2 year anniversary of my dx.

    I want to throw in all the ugly feelings of fear, anxiety and sadness it brings.  I want to throw in the memory of the doctor saying that 'It is not good news, it is cancer". The memory of telling my DH and teenage children.  My  45th birthday were I got the call that the first operation didn't get clear margins and that they were going to have to "take my breast".

    I want to throw in the moments each day when I see I no longer have my breast and think ....yes I have had cancer and it makes me sad.

    These are all things that are not needed in my life

    So...in they go.

     

  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,781
    edited February 2011
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    I want to throw in the pain I am experiencing (back and hip pain from ankle going out) and how vulnerable it is making me feel. Throwing in the confusion I have been feeling re. me life in general too....

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited February 2011
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    I want to throw in the awful pain in my toes from taking Tamox.  Can't find a way to make them feel better.  Also want to throw in the burning sensation in the boob I have had since Jan 2nd.  

    Want to throw in cancer and the feelings of denial I still have even after almost 6 mos since dx. 

  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,781
    edited February 2011
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    Denial.....oy....yeah....we deny it in some ways in order to cope, hmm? Then I look in a mirror....or feel the pain and I think 'damn...I had breast cancer....'...am struggling with the word 'survivor'...not in my lexicon yet....how is that for denial!

    Jo have you tried massage? accupressure? accupuncture?

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited February 2011
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    Sandee - Have tried just about everything except going back to my MO for something stronger.  Just need something for those days I am on my feet alot.  I am not going to wimp out yet.  My next appt is mid April - 3 days before I leave for my cruise.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited February 2011
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    Morning gals...Can I just jump in here?  I smelled smoke, & have been reading this thread for awhile, & I have a few things that need to be added to the fire! 

    I've lost my hearing...come to find out that "older" women, like for instance ME stand a chance of deafness from Tamoxifen....So after I found all THIS out, I quit taking Tamoxifen 3 days ago...been taking it for 14 months, & I can't hear! 

    Getting fitted for hearing aids Monday!  So in goes the Tamoxifen, along with the Otolaryngologist who swore my nerve damage had nothing to do with Tamoxifen!  That "nerve damage is permanent!"

    THEN the audiologist who said the same thing, even with 4 pages of reports I showed her!  ALSO I might mention the Oncologist who left me a message & said, "Oh, I looked into that, but you should keep taking the Tamoxifen!"   What a bunch of educated Dinks!

    There!  I'm done ranting for awhile...just wish I could hear.

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited February 2011
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    Chevyboy - I wish you could hear too.  That must be maddening.  Too bad we have to deal with idiots that don't seem to know their heads from their a$$es.

  • voraciousreader
    voraciousreader Member Posts: 3,696
    edited February 2011
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    Chevyboy-- I'm sorry to hear that you're going deaf...I'm taking Tamoxifen and had the beginning of cataracts BEFORE being prescribed it.  I contacted my eye doctor about reports of people getting cataracts from Tamoxifen and he told me, "Don't worry."

    Know who's going into the fire next?  All of those providers who tell us not to worry!  I'm not throwing my eye doctor in, just yet, because AT LEAST he didn't tell me not to worry in a patronizing way.  But those others....they're thisclose to going into the fire! 

    Hey, it isn't THEIR hearing, or vision, or breasts or their lives now, or is it?  They've got nothing to worry about...so why should we?  Burn! Burn! Burn!

  • geewhiz
    geewhiz Member Posts: 671
    edited February 2011
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    Fear. Its debilitating sometimes. And a total waste of energy. For today, in it goes. Its sunny here, and I intend on spending a wonderful day with my family.

    I am sure it will come back, and I will throw it in again. Burn baby burn!!!!!!

  • omaz
    omaz Member Posts: 4,218
    edited February 2011
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    This is a great and therapeutic thread.  Just reading everything makes me feel like I am there, at the fire, cheering as each piece of junk, debris and trash goes into the flames.

  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,781
    edited February 2011
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    ..and guilt...fear and guilt need to go in!

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited February 2011
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    HUGS♥

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited February 2011
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    Sheila - You crack me up!   
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited February 2011
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    Please don't crack lolLaughing

    How are you doing with your summery temps?

    Im so happy for you you are going away.

    I started to be happy for me too.

    Airfares to Hawaii finally started to drop but still high for my budget.

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited February 2011
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    Sheila - Hope you get to go somewhere soon.  We had a perfect weather day today - should have a repeat tomorrow.  OPS!  I think we are on the wrong thread talking about the weather.

    Let see! What do I want to throw into the fire today?  Oh, I know.  The toe pains I have been having lately.  I need some relief soon. 

  • omaz
    omaz Member Posts: 4,218
    edited February 2011
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    I want to throw in how darn tired I am at the end of the day I guess from rads.  Just snuck up on me!  I'll chuck that in and maybe it'll go away.