Bonfire of the Goddesses
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Joan - It is time for me to celebrate and that is what I am doing. I did write a letter to the hospital and hope they read it and give me a response. Shame on them. Will we ever stop panicking - probably not. All we can do is take those deep breaths when we need to.
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I was feeling better until yesterday. I went for chemo and zometa. Mentally ihaveabig to do list, physically I can barely make toast. A friend made us dinner yesterday and she made enough for two days.
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Veggy - (((HUGS))) Wish I was there to cook for you. Love the convenience of Stouffers big frozen dinners. Some even taste homemade but will admit a littly pricey. Hang in there.
Jo - B9 is great to hear. Throw that imaging center in the fire. Burning brightly.
VR - How are your burning "friends" doing?
Throwing in vet appointments. Goatie babies going today and dog next week. Time and money and pain wrestling esp. goaties even though they are at biggest Lab puppy size maybe 6-7#. I know the answer is don't have either. No more goatie babies here after these. Promised DH (and no I didn't cross my fingers LOL).
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Veggy, I so get the long to do list that the body just refuses to participate in! As I was walking today, I started thinking about this. I am feeling particularly stressed about time - I know none of us knows just how much time we have, but for some reason, today I was feeling it very acutely, feeling like I am just asking God for just one more year to finish the big things I want to do, than laughing because there is no way I can get that stuff done in a year at the rate I work now anyway! At this rate I need at least 10 more years, so then I started thinking that it really won't matter to anyone whether I actually do ANY of those projects! And then I realized I just needed to focus on today, right here, right now, and enjoy the sun, the cool breeze on my face, the feel of my foot hitting the solid earth with each step I took. So into the fire with negative thinking, dark thoughts, and mostly, into the fire with fatigue and inertia!!
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Veggy... You are blessed to have such a nice friend! And I'd like to underscore what Linda just said! Years ago, making lists of things that needed to get done just makes life so much more stressful. Sure, I keep a calendar of what I'd LIKE to do... but beyond my calendar...I pretty much live an unfettered life. And believe me....CHOOSING to live an unfettered life and then TRYING to live it is a rewarding Hurculean task! As Linda mentioned, when you realize how much really needs to be accomplished, you then can understand and then APPRECIATE and ENJOY doing the things that give you pleasure... Because all those things that you think need to be done... Well... Maybe they don't need to be done... or at least they don't need to be done NOW. Right now VR is in the hospital tending the DH who had emergency surgery yesterday. Been here since Tuesday morning. Was planning on a quiet week due to the holidays. And then the proverbial s^*t hit the fan when the DH took ill. So, that quiet week I was planning for got very busy! Had I encumbured myself with what I thought were important things to do, then the stress would have been even greater. I realized long ago, there's nothing that great that I NEED to accomplish. Instead, as I reflect on my life, I have accomplished things that have made my life enriched AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS! So Veggy and my dearest goddess sisters... if you make lists...and think they're hard to maintain...see instead how difficult at first it is to NOT keep a list and maybe you will discover how rewarding it is!
...and regarding those women...VR doesn't need a stable of friends if it makes her unstable.... VR doesn't need to reevaluate her friendships. Either people are her friends or they aren't. VR could care less about ever hearing from either of them... VR guesses that their lists didn't have VR high on their "to do" list because they were too busy. Well VR is too busy living her very enriched life to mourn the loss of their friendships!0 -
VR - You sound extremely sensible and someone I would have loved to be true friends with. My best to your DH and hope he is recovering. ((((HUGZZZZZ))))
Veggy - My (((HUGS))) continue to surround you. Feel the warmth from them and come sit by the fire. I have the makings for S'mores. Toss that friggin' list in and let it burn, baby.
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My son had to have blood work done this morning. There was a problem with his insurance and they didn't take it. In the fire with that insurance. We went for a nice breakfast and I sat back and enjoyed a second cup of coffee. Tonight I am getting together with a couple of friends.
Into the fire with the insurance, worries and list of to do things. I think I am going to roast a few hot dogs in the fire.
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Veggy - Ahhhh - coffee. Mother's milk to me. My DM could drink coffee until bedtime and never have problems sleeping. I have to cut off caffeine now in afternoon even my beloved Dr. Pepper. But give me COFFEE in the morning. Taking Omeprazole now for my GERD but don't ask me to give up coffee.
Into the fire with all insurance. Can you protest the claim after it is processed? My internist is very careful to send me to lab that is on my insurance. Guess MO can bill them all as they draw there and never any problem.
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My son was on the Access card. They changed it. They gave us something that no one takes around here. I'm going to make a phone call and change it. UGH! Breathing...inhale - exhale.
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Breathing with you, Veggy.
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All we can do is keep breathing ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrpJD2h7mo4
Amazing live performance by Ingrid Michaelson.
Love and gentle ((hugs)) to all, with a cup of hot coffee or cocoa, as you like.
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Happy Easter...
It's starting to look more like spring here.
Veggy, hot dogs over a fire sound just about right....comfort food, any time, any place...hope you are doing OK. Linda, what you wrote was really wisdom for every one of us who has had to rethink life...
We can't change our selves, and I am always trying to simplify. I always have a list that's too long and it is just a list! I end up feeling awful and I always worry about what undone stuff I'll leave behind. But you said it best. I agree, enjoying each breath of fresh air and the feel of the grass, the sand, or the ground beneath our feet really puts us in touch with what we're given for the moment.
Hugs & prayers,Joan
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I'd love to join in. I want to pitch in the radiologist who kept telling me, "You're fine honey. Just breathe." "Honey" was not fine! She was not even a tiny bit numb and she was having a horrible reaction to the epinephrine in the numbing shot that didn't work! This was during my core biopsy.
I also want to pitch in the woman I work with because breast cancer is not a competitive sport and telling me, two days post lumpectomy that you know how I feel because you we're once called back for your mammo...uh no.
I know I will come up with more! Thanks for listening.
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I'm pitching in the oncologist who told me that DCIS was like having "rust in my pipes" 3 weeks after I had my BMX. He's actually a good (if misguided) guy - so instead of pitching him in I am roasting him on a stick for a little while, like a hot dog.
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hi ladies and welcome Lynn & Shellshine! LOL to the slow roast.
Happy Easter (to those who celebrate). Happy Spring and ((hugs)) to all.
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Yippee!!! It's officially Springtime! A time to celebrate rejuvenation! Shellshine and Librarylynn...feel free to come on down...and if the load is too heavy...we can offer you a hand and a blanket and even toasted marshmallows! As you continue this journey... keep reminding yourself that NOW YOU are a GODDESS! That should make the road just a drop easier to navigate!
Happy holidays!0 -
Welcome LibraryLynn. I know you will find so much more to throw in the fire - just give it time. We are all here for you so laugh, cry, scream, vent. We all "get it".
Happy Easter Everyone
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What a gorgeous photo, Shell.
Thanks for the welcome everyone! I have a feeling that I'm going to like it here, around the fire. I adore toasting marshmallows, but I hate eating them, so I'll be happy to be the marshmallow chef.
Today I'd like to throw the gray windiness that has taken this previously gorgeous spring day away from us into the flames.
Lynn
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Its very ugly in New Jersey!!!!!!
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I would like to add my "medical report box"
Before BC I had a medical folder that quickly grew to a small box then a larger box. I used it to kept all medically reports, pamphets, my wig, bandanas etc. When I moved house a couple of years ago I opened it to pack it and hair fell out all over the place.
It is now reduced but to a folder with the pamphlets, wigs and bandanas all gone on the bonfire now
Love
Gai
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Great photo Shellshine!
Lynn, I'm with you on those sunny 50's. Make my marshmallows medium-well, please.
Gai, I shredded all of my medical papers last year. They were piling up and collecting dust, I never looked at them, and it was incredibly therapeutic to feed them into the shredder's maw.
(almost as good as shredding all of the political ads last year during the recall elections)
L&H&P's to all
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Badger, I LOVE the idea of shredding those medical papers. I got some new ones today that I would like to shred already .... more drug information printouts ....
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I was so organized with a 3" binder for all my medical reports and bills...then nothing fit and I just jammed it in...now the book doesn't close...I put it in a drawer. Great idea to go through and toss, shred or burn the useless papers. I always knew I wouldn't want these around anyway.
It was cold here today...doesn't matter because I didn't leave my office for 14 hours.
...which means I need some sleep
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better than last election's "binder full of women"
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Linda, does new drug info mean a new med? ((hugs))
Joan, I did the binder boogie too. Wanted info at my fingertips and kept every scrap of paper but I'm not doing that anymore. Just medical bills for income taxes. I even shredded the before & after pics from ooph last fall. Appreciate surgeon providing them (unrequested) but I don't really want to look at one healthy ovary (gone) and one with a big scary-looking cyst (gone).
Dentist appt this afternoon so took the day off work. Looks like a nice day for it. ♥
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Badger, is there a nice day for a dental appointment? I guess for some....
Cold here.Shell - LOL - good binder memory. Imagine, we kept binders on boobs ... I will probably never in my life have time to look at that stuff again.
I hope there's a good fire tonight...it's not warming up where I am...
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Badger-looks like im goin to the dentist toooooooo.damn it to hell.the infection in my mouth is still ozzing....it looks like i might need another round of antibiotics.....oh take all my damn teeth and throw them in the fire.Tomorrow i wanna wake up with a brand new set of pearly whites.....My old dentist in brooklyn told me he hates the dentist too.
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granny - Just throw in the teeth and the dentist and be done with it. You so need break from all this crap. Seriously, I do hope you can get the infection cleared up so you can move on to the next step. Hugs!!!
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I have a great dentist, but she is about 300 miles away, and I am not changing dentists again. I have moved so many times, and have only had 2 dentists that I felt comfortable with.
Badger, yes, a new med (maybe). I haven't decided on whether I am going to try it or not, have appointment with MO in 2 weeks after getting CT scan, so will probably wait until I can talk to her more about it because I just didn't get enough information from her about how we would manage SEs to feel comfortable starting it. It's one of those that have only given about 4 months of progression-free disease anyway, and at this point, I am not sure 4 months is worth the SEs, but not everyone gets SEs .... into the fire with drugs that don't work, drugs that cause SEs, drugs that are outrageously expensive (AND don't work AND cause SEs) ....
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