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OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631
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    Inhale ... then what???  Wait ... who's got the Doritos??  Where's the damn directions for this stuff??

  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 1,605
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    I got that one too on FB and never understood how it raises awareness.  Neither does the color of your bra.  I don't know any men who were 'curious' why people wrote white, blue or nude on there status.

    I'm glad to know that the next time I get one of those stupid emails, I have a whole bunch of people to share them with!

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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    Hmm...I eat asparagus all the time and I got cancer. Maybe it's in how you prepare it. If I steam it, cut it in one inch cubes, boil it with chicken bones and say an incantation over it and wear it as an amulet around my neck maybe that would do it? Where does the lemon go then..maybe this needs work. I'll try it and get back to you when I'm cured.

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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    Or..if the coffee enema doesn't work..maybe an asparagus and lemon enema? Why waste good coffee anyway...

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631
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    Emily ... did you stand on your left foot with your right arm pointed toward the north?  Yep - stay like that for 20 minutes while chewing the chicken bones ...

    hillck - thanks for the update ... get 'em ...

  • HeidiToo
    HeidiToo Member Posts: 965
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    Oh boy... I can tell I'll be spending time in here. This is my kind of humor.

    EmilyinOntario- I think you will probably need to ad garlic... if it works on vampires, why not cancer? Both are related to blood, right? Sounds like sound science to me.

  • Laurie09
    Laurie09 Member Posts: 29
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    Emily, I think it was because you forgot the lemon.   And the Marijuana.  

    Cindy, should we round up a search party????   

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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    * Laughing while taking notes to perfect the "recipe" *

    Do you think wrapping toilet paper around your left knee would increase the potency?

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631
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    I'm so bummed I actually have to walk away from this to get ready ... The Healing Powers of Water await me in the shower!!  Yes ... that's another one ...

  • HeidiToo
    HeidiToo Member Posts: 965
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    Emily--- Bounty would probably be better than toilet paper--- cause it's the "quicker picker upper"

    Hey... now we don't need ADs... just swallow rolls of Bounty!

  • Laurie09
    Laurie09 Member Posts: 29
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    Wait, I don't get it.  If acidic environments cause cancer, and lemons cure cancer... perhaps they're alkaline lemons?  Maybe it's the TYPE of lemons we're missing!!! And a fungicide. And the shower water.  

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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    Well now, if we're going to swallow the rolls of Bounty we're definitely going to need to add the 8 daily enemas..we'll save the toilet paper for that...

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631
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    Oh shooot ... better not shower then ... or should I shower with lemon juice?  Wait ... I better get the sage out and burn that to remove the demons ... oh crap ... the asparagus doesn't look too good!  Puff puff puff ... whew ... kinda dizzy but eating is good, right?  No ... fasting is good?  I certainly can't use city water to wash the lemons!!!  But if I get organic lemons then I don't have to wash them with the toxic city water ...

    Where's the dali lama when you need him ... how's the hunt going???

  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 23
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    LOL, you all are too funny...I've been told that one about New Mexico too, that's where the goverment has a secret place where they're hiding the cure...aparently that's where Michael Douglas went, it's only for the rich you see!

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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    I think that Elvis is there too in New Mexico...with the cure. I'm wondering now if we should be showering with the asparagus, giving ourselves organic alkaline lemon enemas while standing on our left foot? Do we smoke the marijuana BEFORE or AFTER we swallow the Bounty? Maybe before..would go down easier. I think we should burn both the sage and the garlic IN the shower.

  • HeidiToo
    HeidiToo Member Posts: 965
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    Well, if we can walk/ run for the cure... why not dress for it too?

    Just don't try to run in high heels!

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631
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    Wear your Sunday best ... make sure you don't smell like weed, lemons, garlic, asparagus or coffee.  DO NOT stand on your left foot or he'll know you're up to no good ...

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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     Avoid wearing pink too...until after the capture. Got rope? And a holding cell for the cure guy? How are your interrogation skills?

  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 333
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    No, the Bounty goes between the legs after you smoke the weed - so when you are laughing so hard while smearing on the lemons, garlic and asparagus, the Bounty is taking care of the peeing your pants...

  • HeidiToo
    HeidiToo Member Posts: 965
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    Hundreds of comediens out of work... who knew there was so much talent in here!

    This is great!

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
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    LOL!!!!!

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
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    This is one of the funniest thread. Thank YouSandyAust.

    By the way my BS told me my BC was totally accidental.  hahahahaha

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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    Looks like we're going to need a lot of Bounty. Maybe we can contact the Bounty company to sponsor our Research into the Cure. Maybe we can even get our research out to the masses...commercials, documentaries, billboards... Someone could do the " shower scene" with the asparagus. ( NOT ME) 

    Or maybe they'd post a reward for information on finding the cure guy...

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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    Seyla..

    Accidental breast cancer...that explains so much. I always was accident prone.

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631
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    Hey ... I'll take care of the shower scene but it involves the guy from NM ... I got a great visual of a horror movie and I think I can make it motivational!! 

    Off to buy Bounty - afterall, the instruction on the weed packet didn't say I couldn't drive!  WAY less information on side effects than the anti nausia meds!! 

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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    A Motivational Horror Shower Scene with asparagus...it would be a first I bet. Sounds Oscar worthy. Hope the Cure Guy from NM can act.

    FuzzyLemon..maybe you better take a taxi..

  • Laurie09
    Laurie09 Member Posts: 29
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    "By the way my BS told me my BC was totally accidental.  hahahahaha"

    Sheila, that's all part of the conspiracy!!!!!Tongue out 

  • Fighter_34
    Fighter_34 Member Posts: 496
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    Thanks for the laugh ladies...now I know I am cured.

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 288
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    This has been fun! I'm off for a bit..will check back for more ideas for the "cure" and progress made on finding the Cure Guy from NM...

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
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    Maybe the cancer cure guy is hiding out in NM because he's trying to get back to the mother ship.  Has anyone checked Roswell?  Maybe the aliens have the cure since apparently there's no intelligent life on earth that can figure it out.  Maybe we can all pray for alien abductions?  (Ummm, scary green person, I would be happy to accompany you onto your ship as long as you guarantee I will remain NED for the duration of my life span.)