OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid
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Ummmm....HUH? LOL
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Maybe since I just found out I need to have a second lumpectomy w/in 2 weeks of the first, they can just cut me open and stuff the asparagus right in there to kill the rest of it...2 birds with one stone, kill the cancer and give me some nice green implants. Damn...I was just at the farm market today...could have picked out my own stuffing!
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What if you eat the Bounty then take the coffee enemas? You won't need any toilet paper, you'd be wiping as you GO and cured of cancer at the same time!!!!!
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pssst. Who's bogarting the pipe? Pass it down man, I need my cure!
can someone please tell me how many "world cancer days" we have anyway? I get one of those emails every week!!!
I've got a friend who's convinced that if I'd just fly to Mexico, the alternative medicine they use down there will get rid of any "remaining" cancer cells! Riiiiight...of course, why didn't I think of that???
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okay and here is my 2 cents:
I seriously overheard this: This cancer patient was so excited about finishing his therapy that he mentioned he was heading out that evening to celebrate. Where? asked one of the volunteers. I think Tony Roma's he said. The volunteer said, "you think that is smart, how do you think you landed in CancerCare in the first place?" My hand to God, I swear this is true.
amazing what creeps around in some people's minds.
keep the laughter going, it is the best feeling for all of us.
Teklya
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I LOVE this thread!
My husband told me of the Rife Machine. I had to google it and read it. Then he told me that one of his friends made it for someone else who had prostate cancer. I couldn't imagine where or how they would attach it. My husband said they used a CB attenna and the guy stood very close to it.
Everyone, let's dig out those old CB's and stand very close to the atenna as we used the Cure for Cancer recipe. We're bound to be cured!
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OMG, Teklya, that is terrible!
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Just add to Emily's recipe -
'Add preferred alcholic beverage for increased activation of the oral portion' - and save a slice of the organic alkaline lemon washed in sterilized bottled water to line the rim so it can be dipped in organic sea salt from the red sea to further enhance the healing quality.
thegood5 - the elephant garlic bulbs would likely make a closer skin tone match and have the added feature of keeping the mosquitoes away and other unsavory characters as well - one bulb or two?
Cindy...we find a good hound dog in Texas yet?
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Lowrider54~the more I thought about it, I was thinking of switching to lemon implants, but the GARLIC BULBS! Brilliant idea!!
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Glad to have some "tweaks" to our cure..it can only be improved upon! We'll soon have the New Improved Cure...and all within hours.
Garlic bulb implants..too funny...*L*
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I wonder if I ACCIDENTALLY ate at Tony Roma's once to get this accidental breast cancer ? Makes you go hmmmmm, doesn't it?
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There's no Tony Roma's in PA. I can't blame it on that. It must be a different restaurant.
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Did y'all hear? They have the cure for cancer, but can't share it with us because if we have the cure for cancer the pharmaceutical companies would go broke.
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If we're using tin foil hats, don't forget the song: www.eclectech.co.uk/mindcontrol.php
That has to be an important element. One foot, north-facing, with tin-foil hat. But would the song be before or after? Maybe you need a helper to sing? Maybe that should be the cure guy? or maybe the hottie from Texas?
LisaAlissa
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Looks like we need to add tin foil, CB radio antenna's and appropriate music to the "cure" recipe. If electric currents could be involved do we need rubber boots for grounding? Maybe we need the rubber boots anyway for the enema proceedure?
Reminds me of a story when I worked for a private nursing agency. A client phoned in a request for a nurse to come to his home to give him an enema. The stipulation was that she was to wear rubber boots.Rather kinky I thought. The request was declined.
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I have been told caancer is an airborn virus. Maybe I'll just duct tape my head...
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Garlic bulb implants...OK, at least we won't have to worry about vampires anymore!
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Brilliant thread! ... but the visualization of thegood5 having her BS stuff asparagas and/or garlic bulbs into her lumpectomy incision is what got my tea splayed upon my computer screen! Too funny!0
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It's been an hour since anyone posted. Have you all been abducted by aliens or are you in the shower with the asparagus??
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Yikes...........I'm having lemons tonight, or is it yipeee after today I'll be cured?????
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We're out looking for the Cancer Cure guy. Why are you goofing off?
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I'm just sitting here mellowing out with the joints, doritos and pepsi!
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OMG. Too funny: www.eclectech.co.uk/mindcontrol.php
I bought a bag of lemons today, and a bunch of fresh broccoli. Can broccoli replace asparagus? At least it doesn't make my pee smell weird.
This just all too fucking funny! Here's a recipe for stuffing your breasts with asparagus:
recipe: http://www.food.com/recipe/asparagus-stuffed-chicken-breasts-408985
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AHHHHAAAA!!!! This was awesome playing catch up and reading the updates!!
I just woke up from my weed induced coma ... the taxi driver offered and I couldn't refuse
Sure enough ... I have asparagus in the wierest places .... 0 -
I was off helping hillck change her tires. She's burned a lot of rubber...46,000 miles in 4 hours looking for Cure Guy.
Had I only thought of stuffed breasts when I had my lumpectomy..or even when I had my axillary dissection...stuffed armpit? Is there a recipe for that?
fuzzylemon..sounds like my advice about taking the taxi paid off...but don't leave the asparagus wherever it is too long if you plan to eat it. Otherwise you can just leave it "wherever", but do add lemon and garlic.
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Oh ... got the asparagus out ... gotta get distilled water to clean it up a bit!
I need the stuffed armpit receipe too! Michelle ... I'll be waiting for that one!
Does anyone have a picture of the Cure Guy ... might help with the hunt.
I'm passing the pipe ...
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I posted this to Feb Gals, but meant it for here...Once again, I just gotta say:Hey Ya!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgvGjAhvIw
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Oh ... got the asparagus out ... gotta get distilled water to clean it up a bit!
I need the stuffed armpit receipe too! Michelle ... I'll be waiting for that one!
Does anyone have a picture of the Cure Guy ... might help with the hunt.
I'm passing the pipe ...
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Is this him?
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Could be, he's wearing pink lipstick!
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