OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid
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Too Funny!!
Angel, that is awesome that your story will be told, my daughter is 29, and I want her to have a mammo now, and her docs in CA and insurance aren't willing YET...hopefully she will get one by the end of this year now that more info on TN is starting to make oncs think we shoud be genetic tested if we get TN before 60, not 40. I hope we all get to see you, thanks for your voice for the young women, enjoy your pink celebration!
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Elephants should be the only thing that is pink.
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A Basement??? Wow...did some remodeling while I was gone! Did we lose Dog the Bounty Hunter? Maybe him and Meece could get together and rough up them monsters? Any pics of the monsters? If any of them resemble my ex-husband, I have a special request
We have the cure so you can just tell all the stupid people - it's under control. I'll see if I can find one of them and post it again. It's a gooooood read!
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Emily, this one's for you!
As requested here is the Updated Cure based on recent findings by our team of experts. Note : if you are just tuning in this will make absolutely NO sense if you haven't read the whole thread.*L*
Cure for Cancer ( New and Improved)
Have on hand:
73 rolls of Bounty ( cheaper brands will do in a pinch)
2 joints of "medicinal" marijuana ( may be substituted by 2 asparagus spears. Note: Dip spears in kerosene or they won't stay lit)
1 enema bag ( pink, if you can find one)
1 handful dried sage
1 crockpot
1 CB radio antenna
1 roll duct tape
1 pair rubber boots
1 roll tin foil
Snacks: ( aka Cleanse Diet) breadless sandwiches, doritos, brownies, pepsi, alcohol
Note: A recent Scientific Study (see page 6) had warned that consumption of bread causes choking in newborns and brings out latent criminal tendencies.
RECIPE
3 cups diced asparagus ( handpicked by Tibetan Monks preferable)
1 cup juice of organic alkaline lemons
63 cloves of garlic
1 cup distilled water
Bones of REALLY old chicken
1 spritz of fungacide
1 road apple ( seasonal variations acceptable)
Eye of Newt
Pinch of sea salt
Simmer the above for 9 days until consistency of slime.
Set aside:
1 cup of concoction for enema
2 cups for topical application
1 cup for oral administration
1 cup for remaining body orifices ( to cover all the bases)
Remember to let cool first.
Instructions:
Consume "cleansng" snacks ad lib. Stuff fruit of your choice in bra . Fashion tin foil hat. Don rubber boots and duct tape CB antenna to your forehead. Administer enema while standing on left foot. Then apply topical mixture while pointing north by northwest. Prepare the oral portion and drink from an old chipped cup previously used by a Scientologist.Light sage and insert remaining mixture into all other body orifices using a trowel. After 4 day, expel enema and shower ( with Cure Guy if possible). Towel off with Bounty and insert 2 rolls in your pants. Smoke joints or asparagus.
Congratulations, you are now cured.
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Lurking and laughing, thank you for keeping me rollin'!!!!!!!
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Cluck a duck---- That was a good one Fuzzy. Totally, cure , way out. The end must be the best . Let you know in 5 days. One day to collect everything, oops nine days to simmer, 4 days to do what it does in the orifices. That's 14 days. Let's define where we empty the orifices , I'd prefer it wouldn't be in the hen house. Actually, how about pretty far from the Hen house, but we need security, If we are going that far from the Hen House. Veggy did find that there was a fox in with the Hens. Looked mean, and the Hens look agitated. Security, Meece is somewhere else .
Yes we must do something about the monsters in the basement. Sign we need a sign. So, no one goes in the basement. Too dark. Monsters. Lock, we need a lock. Who will be keeper of the lock, to the basement. Hmmm Should we think of a use for the monsters. Only thing that comes to mind, that they be useful for us against the revunewers. Otherwise they are awful creatures Veggy saw them. Said they were monsters.
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ah - thanks - i needed that fix....
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I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccckkkk....*cluck*0
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After falling down the stairs
and being in the basement with the monsters
I am trying to climb up the stairs
To be with you!
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EmilyhellosohappytoseeyouIambesidemyselfthefeathersareflyingbeaksareclacking
squwackingeverywhereFuzzywrotearecipesoundsverygoodsimmersfo14daysVeggy
foundabasementfullofmonstersandistyringtogetoutbutkeepsfallingbackdownthestairs
Wehavetohelpherb/ctheyarebadmonstersandsomearedepressionmonstersWEhave
tokeepthemloockedupbutdon'thaveakeyyetandVeggyistheonlyonewhoknowswhere
thedooristhisiswrittenincodesothedepressionmonsterscan'tknowwhatwearetalking
aboutbrwagkkkkseeyouinthefrontbackforawelcomehomepuffpuffandsomeasparagus
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Far out, cluckers.............
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Aliens & Monsters? Someone, PLEASE,
help me out of the basement! Quick!!!!
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Veggy Veggy where's the door??????????????/
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Veggy give us a signal -----------we will come a cluckin
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I feel like I am in one of the Twightlight Zone episodes...Little Girl Lost Its the episode where the parents (Robert Sampson, Sarah Marshall) hear their daughter crying in her bedroom but cannot see her. They find her in a parallel universe.
My story...
Little Chicken Lost. A chicken gets pulled into a parallel chicken coop or perhaps the basement. She is surrounded by monsters and aliens. Her friends can hear her calling but cannot find her. Where is the door? Is there a door? What is on the other side of the door? Will they be brave enough to help her? Are they strong enough? Will the monsters escape when the door opens? Why can't they find her? Does anyone have a key? Will it fit? Its dark and lonely in here. I can hear you all running around looking for me. Why can't you find me?
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Veggy follow the cluck ---cluck cluck cluck come to the cluck . ignore the monsters. be quiet. Come to the door crawl on the stairs so you don't fall back. Tap on the door lightly , we are listening. when you get there we will be waiting with stun guns for the monsters if they follow you and a barricade.
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Please someone has to watch for Veggy I have to check out for the night I think and hope(insomnia). If you hear her tapping find the door and be prepared to shoot the monsters with stun guns. I'll leave the computer on in case sleep doesn't work and come back and check Veggy (((H)))))))
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Hi Fuzzy welcome back!!!!
Were you here for the penguin??? Well you forgot the penguin repelling protocol on the cure list...'Just smile and wave ladies....just smile and wave.'
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Veggy are you getting up the stairs. I don't hear any tapping. Anyone in the Hen house keep clucking softly so Veggy can hear us. Need to get her away from those monsters and lock that door. And put a sign up that no ones allow in the basement . Maybe we can put a hose in somehow and drown those suckers.
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If we were to eat all that asparagus we've been smoking we could just all stand in the doorway facing front and gas the monsters!!!!
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chabba good idea -------should we where gas masks. There have been news reports of people gasing them selves to death. We'll pass them out just in case
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don't forget the foil hats just in case
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Yes Juliet-----our hats as a sign of solidarity and we can tell who we are if the lights go out . will put up a special light that makes the tin hats sparkle. The monsters won't have the tin hats. JULIET BRILLIANT
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tapping
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ok opening the door ,get ready
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Be careful when you open the door. Something tells me that I am not alone down here. The monsters are very tricky and want to escape.
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