OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid
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if I throw my boobs in with the rest of u...
We will have a double Dolly Parton..0 -
When I was having internal Rads- I told everyone my poor affected boob was turning into Dolly Parton and the other was getting jealous!!
I am not sure why they don't give a person something for the swelling because its not real pleasant. I was practically walking in circles because the one gal was so large she was leading me that way.
When I ended up in the hosp after rads. My local doctor right away put me on an antiinflamatory med - he said " we will not make you suffer" I wonder if he would prescribe Dolly Parton the same med? LOL0 -
Thought I'd pop in to say hello and see hoe everyone is. Mary do u still have those thingys on u'r body?
And why in the world would we talk about boobs--oh yeah that's right--that's why we're here as usual my mind goes blank--Well I don't miss mine at all, I hated bras--so I wear nothing now and I really don't care so I'm comfy this way.0 -
I wrote my experience on another board and realized it really belonged on the STUPID board.. My co-workers and sister all had a great laugh at my expence because if anything is gonna happen out of the ordinary it will happen to me...
Oh my clinic definetly thinks I am some kind of hysterical freak. I went to have a pap had not had one in 5 yrs because my GP passed away and I just never wanted to have the new GP give me one( I am extremely conservative)- So after I was DX with BC I thought I best have one- so it took all I could( I so HATE Paps) to go to the clinic . I waited half hour in the regular waiting room,
I get called back and put into an examining room- gown on- boobs poking out the front- have to redress to hunt down a nurse for adult size gown which they gave me. Shamoo himself could have fit in- OK- all set..
I wait and wait and wait- 45 more min go by- no magazines-no books, only thing to look at is the tray of contraptions which my eyes are rivited to, that will soon be used in my HOO HAA. I was not to thrilled to be looking at them in such great detail! Some of the tools I would look at and think WTH is that for??
Finally after all this time I can not stand it anymore and I remember a bathroom next door and I feel the need to go,so Shamoo gown wrapped around me 3 times I head next door to the bathroom. A little while later I open the bathroom door only to hear the nurses say-" Lets go clean up room 7, you go get the stuff.". I hurry back next door and LOW AND BEHOLD I am room 7!!
The nurse finds me in room 7 a few min later and says- "whaaa- you are still here?" I said yes and my panic and anxiety are in over drive by this point!!!
My appt was at 3:45 and it is now 5:00 and I still need to go to the lab for my thyroid blood work and I figure the lab is closing at 5. So I proceed to tell the nurse she can clean up the room as I am leaving anyway as soon as I can get dressed .She grabs me by the arm will not let me dress or leave and says real close to my ear. like I am a 90 yr old crazy deaf lady-- " You have cancer. You need this pap. I promise you he will be quick,I won't leave you, you can not leave, you have to get this done....ETC.." She is acting like I am scared of the doctor and a lunatic to boot!!
I am not scared of the doctor. I just am not wanting to be naked anymore and I dont want my HOO HAAA subjected to any of those torture devices that are lieing on that table that I been stareing at all this time!! Plus I really do not want to miss going to lab for my blood tests. I did not tell her this though. She was too busy trying to keep me from running out the door Shamoo Gown and all. I was to that point!!..
Meanwhile the doctor walks in with a baffled look on his face wondering, I am sure what all the commotion is about, and she slams the door practially in his face and says, "We are having a lil anxiety problem here, it will be ok soon, come back later".All I wanted to do was leave and I told that nures over and over but she insisted lab would wait for me.
Finally she talks me into sitting on the torture( in my mind it is) table- puts my butt on the edge- feet in the stirrups puts the table up to highest position( I guess she felt I would not jump off it when it was far in the air) and covers my legs with a blanket- but I am certain my HOO HAA is feeling a breeze.. Nurse says" Let me grab the Doctor-I will be right back."
I wait and wait and wait - thinking OMG the janitor is gonna walk in at any moment and get the full view of my hoo haaa-- 15 minutes goes by, my back can not handle those stirrups anymore and I pull my tush slowly up to the top of the table crab walking as I go so I can get my legs out of those stirrups!! I thought to myself, what happens if I fall off this table with my hoo haa in the air? Will this Shamoo gown cover it all?
I am sitting there when the nurse comes in again- she says " Oh, you were not comfortable?" I wanted to say YA THINK?? Hoo haaa in the breeze with my legs apart- how comfy is this - U have to ask? She said." Well I can not find the doctor but when I do we will be right in" ( I figured he ran for the hills after the convo he had came across earlier) .
I then sat there serioiusly debating how to dive off the table without tripping over the Shamo gown when the Doctor kind of squeemishly does finally come in. I will say he was quick!!- I heard him say something to the effect that " he only had one chance at this so he best do it right" Then he was ready to run out the door and he decided last min to check my overies and the nurse - said-- Arent U going to do her breast exam?
I had just that very day told that nurse I had just recently been dx with bc and had been examined by every mammogram, ultra sound. doctor and intern out there and that I DID NOT need another breast exam! I proceeded to tell her again and the doctor just that. The doctor said. "She is fine" and this time did run out the door!.
My girlfriend said she usually talks to her while wearing the gown but he came back after I was fully dressed and we had a chat where he stayed far across the room. I asked if I could have some Ativan for anxiety and before I could get the words all the way out of my mouth he had prescription pad in hand writing out a large dosage.
I never did tell him I had been forgotten in a room and then left in the stirrups. I probably should have - but by that time it was near 5:30 and I still needed lab.
My appt that day was 3:45 and I got out of the clinic at nearly 6 pm. I do not know if I can ever muster up enough courage to go through all that again!!
So I can imagine what that clinic must think of me- They must think " How did she ever birth two children when she acts like a 16 yr old virgin getting her first pap!!"
So yup- when it comes to clinics thinking I am nuts- I think I rank right up there!!!
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What a story! I was forgotten in an examining room one time, but I was dressed! How awful. My daughter is in a medical field, and said that if patients leave or don't take their medicine or in any way don't follow the doctor's "orders", the nurse gets blamed. That's probably why she held on to you !0 -
What an experience!! The way you tell it is really funny although I'm sure the experience wasn't.0 -
My sister and co-workers nearly rolled on the floor when I told them this story- They always say if its gonna happen it will happen to me!!
I can laugh at it now- at the time I was horrified and really truly am horrified to get aother pap.
I have been thinking maybe I should print off this story, hand it to my doctor and say- here this is what really happened the time you thought I was going crazy at the clinic!!
The things that go through a persons mind when they do not have anything else to occupy it can be funny!! I really did not want that Janitor to find me with my hoo haaa in the air!! LOL
Keep laughing though you feel like crying-- sometimes that just helps0 -
nd - Unless I have you confused with someone else, didn't there used to be a mental hospital in your town? If it is still there maybe they thought you had been sent over from there? LOL
I was 12 when my Aunt was a patient there. We went back to ND to visit her. While Mom and Dad went in to see her 9 year old DB and I waited in the car. A very nice little man cameup to the car, introduced himself as Napoleon told us all about his life. I knew he was sick but he was facinating. A few years lated when I studied the period in history I realized he really knew his history even if he was confused about who he was.
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LOL- Nope no Mental Hospital here) I just act like a patient when cooped up half naked and suspended in stirrups too long!!
There used to be a mental hospital in Jamestown ND though.
I have worked with many diff people from all over and some can be really totally cute and at the same time it really is sad as they really can not be just them. The wonderful person they truly are!! Like me, I can be wonderful just keep me away from pap tests , waiting rooms and huge shamoo gowns!! 0 -
great story.....where is everybody lately? Alyson, FK, Veggy? You've all been very quiet. We need a little action around here....0 -
I'm here Mary,Mary...
How r u?
Been very busy this week...watchin my GGsons....we have a new name for the baby who will be 2 on Halloween..he is FireKracker jr...such a brat..wonder who he takes after?
On Sunday Ill be wearing my Focktober shirt...goin to my GDs for dinner with some of the family..
Miss talkin to u..
Big hugggg
I am the FireKracker.....0 -
BTW I think the gang are out lookin for the cure for stupid.
They will never find it.
Stupid is and will always be STUPID.0 -
ND that story for us was great, but not for u--all that time, Oh I wouldn't care about my body I would just be sick of waiting all that time--u poor thing, but funny.0 -
nd, must of been someone on another topic. I was born in ND and still have most of my living relatives there. Where are, if you don't mind my aasking. (pm me if you prefer)
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We might be able to find a cure for stupid but we can keep looking.
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I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.0 -
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Well said, both of you...I understand every bit of it-not!!!0 -
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I guess I'm stupid...i don't understand anything that either one of you said.
Thank god Focktober is almost over...
IMHO...I don't think it was as bad as last yr....
Just find a damn cure/vaccine....
I am the firekracker.....0 -
yup! Got all of that.0 -
Yep, Veggy and I have been sitting on the perch clucking away solving the world's problems. Much better than being in the basement.
Veggy have made something for you, will post it tomorrow.0 -
can't wait!0 -
(((((((((((Alyson and veggy)))))))))))))))
Miss both of U
Xo the FireKracker....
Nite all.0 -
thought it was cute0 -
Careful in the hen
house, its Halloween here.0 -
Oh Allyson...it is cute...that baby is so cute.
Does he belong to U?0 -
tomorrow is Halloween...my GGrandsons birthday...He will be 2 yrs.old.
Tomorrow is the last day of Focktober...Thank God...the pink shit is over.
Purple next month.Pancreatic cancer month...Lets give them some awareness.
The death sentence of all the cancers...
Ill be back...
I am the FireKracker0 -
And Granny, it is my DD's birthday.0
