INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Waiting for barbeque this AFternoon with my little friends.
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Lita, Thank you for the encouragement. I'm so sorry for your pain.
Lori/Jazzy, I too have struggled with the outside not matching the inside. Not just with how I feel/look physically, but emotionally. People say I look like myself again, but I don't feel like myself. I'm too different, both physically and emotionally.
Shep, Thinking of you and sending healing thoughts.
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Wildtulip- I get the change on the inside emotionally too. I am not a social person like I used to be. I am self employed and am able to go to prof org events and dinner and do just fine, but don't find going to parties, etc. and making small talk with friends to not be too much fun anymore. That and people who complain all the time and bring their drama my way. Just no tolerance to listen for that. I work hard to do things that keep my spirits up and feed my soul.
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Kath, it sounds like you are in good hands. You are blessed to have a doctor who is thorough. Very interesting that she wants you to see an endocrinologist. I presume you have type-2 DM. I read that there is a link between type-2 diabetes and autoimmunity. Type-1 is autoimmune, but mechanism is different. Hope they get to the bottom of this soon.
My parent are doing okay. Mom is in SF helping my sister with her baby. Sister went back to work last week. The lady who was going to babysit my niece backed out the last minute. On the positive side, I think the change in environment is good for Mom. Plus, caring for her granddaughter keeps her occupied and think less about what tends to worry her. Dad is trying to keep busy too. He went to work with my brother last week and overdid it. He knew too. Thank you for asking.
Junie, I have a bottle of Fucoidan that is sitting in my medicine cabinet for nearly two years now. Mom got it from some place in Southern California. Don't recognize the name of the company. For some reason I question the authenticity of what is in the capsule. I guess it takes faith.
Sorry to see you not in a happy place, Susan. Good to purge and cry. It's cathartic. A good cry helps release all the negative emotions bottled up inside. I find that I feel much better after I pour out my heart to Him. God makes tears for a reason. A good cry has to change some chemical in the body. The body is an amazing vessel.
Ms. Sas, lotus roots don't go well with seaweed. No wonder. Ha! Stephen knows what is good cuisine at a young age. DH is leaving this Thursday to Nepal on a medical mission with the team he led last year. Today I met a nurse who will be joining them. She served in Afghanistan and Iraq as a trauma nurse. Very interesting lady. Used to be Harley girl. Shared with us her past life before becoming a nurse( I had to ask) . Did drugs and all the crazy things in her youth. She even showed me one of her tattoos. She is now 62 and wanted to do something different. Pretty neat testimony.
Lori, I still can't imagine you throwing balloon bombs at people. 😂
Wildt, happy to hear things are looking better for you. Our bodies and minds are no longer the same after all the traumas.
Lita, pretty smile. Hope the rads will take care of your pain.
Eeyore, sorry to hear about your mom's condition. It's hard to see our parents age. How long are you staying there? Dad is not back to himself yet. I don't know if he ever will. His body reminds him when he trie to do what he used to do prior to the accident. We took him out to dinner this evening at the Korean restaurant DH and I have gone to a few times. The waitresses ( most in their mid 50's) there were extra nice today. The came to our table often to check on us and refilled the banchan (little side dishes). One waitress even cut the Korean pancake for us and gave dad the biggest piece. My sister who is normally very observant was teasing my dad. Told dad that she thinks the ladies are fond of him. They were giving us all special attention because of him. Mom would be jealous if she was there. Ha! He is not a bad looking old man. 😃
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Shepk, my dear friend, hope you got your beach therapy and a blessed time with BFF.
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Sassy, I read on one of the other threads that Ewagan's US showed that the lumps she felt were just lumpy breast tissue but I'm not positive on that. I'll go over all my notes and see if I can find it. Maybe I'm just mixing her up with someone else?
BBL
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Just realized I forgot to say hi to my Mama.
And no drama for Jazzy! Hehe
Good morning, ladies!
How I feel this morning.....
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Well tomorrow I get the official word from the MO on the scan results. Praying it's good news as I thought it was
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Mommy- fingers crossed for good outcomes on those scans!
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Wenchi, yes, Ewagen's was "Just lumpy", but.............The thing about palpating is universal. Folks can make and area so sore and swollen..........the ultrasound, US is such a safe test, and inexpensive with insurance. Doing serial checks even at 6 month intervals might be fine versus 3 months, the mere fact she can feel something deserves follow-up. The MRI was a stretch as I said to her. The beauty of the MRI is no radiation like with a CT. The MRI can pick up things that US and Mammo can't. PLUS, you know I take the most cautious approach with everything, lumps of the boobs even more so. Just know or knew to many sisters here that got delayed treatment which changed their outcome.
I was on the reverse of that thought. Likely you don't know, I was in the prophy pipeline when I was dx'd. Late June 2008, I discussed prophy with my chosen onc doc. Aug 2009 had a mammo>>NED. Doc ordered the MRI which he LIED and said he felt a lump on the initial June exam, but couldn't locate it. He did that for insurance coverage, bc getting a prophy covered by insurance was difficult even in 2008. He didn't want to tip them off to the prophy plan. Crazily, I had the MRI order I wanted, but didn't get the MRI till Dec 8th 2008 b/c there was no imperative. Dec 10th I got the call it was positive. The story after that is even stranger. But had I not been in the prophy pipeline(working on it), I can't really conceive I'd be writing this. At BX I was a grade2(6), final path report grade 3(8) in less than a month (25 days). Re-verification of bx was done. Onco dx30. Ploidy said "unfavorable outcome". Had I not started the prophy action, I would have not had a mammo till the next August. With the aggressiveness, I think I wouldn't of had a chance.
Because of my own experience, I'm more aggressive on everyone else's work-up. The concept of serial follow up with minimum of ultrasound is a very safe approach.
I just wish MRI's weren't so expensive. From a diagnostic standpoint they are the best with the least risk. Can't beat that.
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Popping in to wave hello. Had a lovely lunch with the girls. I always love getting together with them. Lots of laugh and good food. Yes my hair is growing. Not sure that I'm loving it. Was not curly before. Had to laugh today when one of my residents was sort of whispering to another "her hair is violently curly". I'm missing my short spiky hair. Not sure how much longer I can stand before I cut it. Speaking of work, they are trying to run me into the ground. Need to learn to say no. Worked a double 5:45am to 9:15pm and was back today at 5:45. I'll look at the positive and say it's extra money. Does that mean I get to buy the next lunch ladies?
Not posting often, but still lurk most days. Sending good thoughts and hiding in pockets.
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Shep ~ sending prayers and hugs your way; glad you pushed for them to look deeper into what was causing additional pain and discomfort.
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this is my worrying hours can't sleep up half night .its always there my worst nightmare come true .Cancer way did this have to happen . I have watch many client go through this and help them to their end . So now it's really hard to think I can survive this.iam shaking as I write this
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Good morning everyone! Hugs to All 🤗
Ravn, welcome, I'm sorry you had to join our group. It's not the best group to have joined but you've found the right place to be. There are so many great people here to welcome you and help you get through all the ups and downs and sleepless nights of BC. I don't think I could have gotten to this point without all the wonderful people here to teach and walk me through it all. {{{{Ravn}}}}
WildT, thank you for the wonderful compliment, all of you ladies are making me blush! Good feeling feet are such a blessing! I'm happy to hear your lymphodemia flare up is getting better also.
Jazzy, I wish I had some of my friends crystal balls, then I'd know what's around the next corner without them telling me. Gggrrrrr some times! I'm constantly telling my sister DaNile is a river in Africa and she can swim down it alone. My DH and I are stay at home oldies too. We'll go to a bonfire once in a great while, depending on who's going to be there. The last one we went to was a few weeks after I started chemo and I had no hair obviously. There were 2 people there that had moms that were chemo nurses. My DH came to my rescue when he said "Yeah, that's right, you 2 just keep talking about all the patients your moms had gotten close to that didn't make it. Yeah, those are the kind of stories to tell around a fire pit"! He's direct like that.
Lita, oh your poor feet! I'm saddened to hear you aren't feeling well. I'll be praying your radiation treatments go by quickly. I love, love, love the picture of you and your BBQ Buddies! You're wearing my favorite color too! Puuuuuurple!
Eeyore, what a wonderful treat to spend time with your Mom. I'll be praying for her and your family. 93 years young, amazing.
Lover, it sounds like your Dad is in excellent hands. You are such a blessing to him and he you. Your Mom must be thrilled to be helping with her granddaughter. I know I'm in heaven when I'm with my GrandAngles.
Mommy, I'm praying you get great news today with your scan results. I'm in your pocket!
Sensi, good to see you! I love your hair even with your violent curls. My hair is coming back slowly, I just wished it all came back the same length. So many long out of place strands. It's coming in a silvery pepper color, just what I ordered. I'm not sure what texture it is yet but it is thicker and softer than it was. My usual style was "constantly messy"!
Sassy, WOW! I'm so thankful you had gotten the treatment you did when you did! Is ewagen still registered with BCO? Praying she won't have to come back.
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Wench- oh those cancer stories everyone has to tell. That is one of those things no one warns you about when you get the dx and go through treatment. There is not one of us that probably has not known someone who has lost their battle with cancer before our dx, never mind after.
I love your DH called those women out for their comments. I guess because their moms are chemo nurses, it makes them an experts too! I have done that with people too though, with "you know that is not helpful to me" and shut it down. I think somewhere in my mind I have a list of top 10 ridiculous things said to me, and still hear them some four plus years later. Only people who have been through it, helped someone through it, or have another life threatening illness understand this.
I keep my circles small these days and discuss my health with a limited few who don't have the need to judge or control anything. I will say that keeps my stress levels down around all this in the post treatment world. I never underestimate the potential of others to bring their own stuff (fears, opinions, judgement) into your cancer story or anything else for that matter.
I do wish people could be more present with others without having it to be about them. The people who can be there without the need to control any situation are my keepers!
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Amen Jazzy!
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Just got home from my MO's office. Scans were perfect!!!!!!
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Ravn, welcome! I know what you mean about the middle of the night. I'm not sure anyone ever thought anything positive at 3am. You don't say where you are in your cancer journey, but if you're not getting sleep you should tell your doctor. Also drink sleepy time tea before bed. And come back here. This is a good group.
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Good morning Ladies,
Just popping in real quick. I am headed to the movies to see "Boss Baby", then I have a sleep study tonight.
Kirby will be home in 3.5 days. Yesterday I bought him food & a nice big dog bed for him to play in like he has at the trainers. Thursday I'll put a chicken in the slow cooker to make broth for the Kirbs to put over his food.
ravn - So sorry you had to join us as well. But we are a bunch of great women.
Jazzy, Wenchie - You're right about the armchair Oncologist's. I have to remember to ask the next one where they got their degree.
Loverly - I think that after 2 years in your cupboard I'd throw that out and get a new one. If you're inclined to try using it.
Sassy - Yes, great conversation. I spoke to my sister Sunday evening and we are discussing me flying to Ohio so we can meet, then doing a road trip near your neck of the woods, since her Mother lives close and has a lot of pictures and family history stuff. If this all happens, it would be in mid-September.
Okay, gotta go for now. Have a great day everyone.
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Loverly, Thank your DH for being such a kind person. That nurse sounds like a wonderful person.
Eeyore, sorry about your Mom.
Sensi, my hair came in curly and straightened out after a period of time. I forget how long it took, but it wasn't long before it was stick straight in months. You're used to working with short hair to spike it. Cut those curls right off, if it pleases you. Oh Sensi, the hardest thing to do is say no when they ask for a shift coverage, but in all things you must put yourself first. Anyone who has the heart to work with the ill and in need, uniformly put ourselves at the bottom of the list. That can put us on the track for all kinds of health problems.
Yoga_girl (Waving), I'm back, but haven't visited the threads. What's new?
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Wenchie, love Dh's response to those downer ladies. The worst I said to an irritating person that wouldn't stop after several polite requests to do so was to ask her if she new what STFU meant. Ewagen will come and go as needed. Not uncommon for someone to fly away when the initial dx is given as negative.
Mommy Congratulations Hootie hoo. What are you treating yourself too. Dinner out with DH to a fav spot with your fav meal?
Junie, when is the visit? Duh now see September. Excited. If construction is done you can stay here for a couple of days if you like. Kirby and my two would do fine together. The plan on construction is to be done by mid May. But I know things can get snafued. Lived with a toilet on the pool deck for months with the last remodel.
Loverly, I fixed that thingy, check it please?
Hi Wren (waving)
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Mommy- congrats on the good outcomes on the scans. Hope you can relax.....
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Thanks guys. Hubby bought a frozen pizza and stuff for salads for tonight.
I am now on the plan of appointments with the oncologist every 6 months and a CT Scan every 6 months. Won't have to go back now until October. I love these kind of changes!!!!!!
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Mommy- the six month follow up plan is very do-able. Been doing it since my treatment. I think after next January, I will only see my MO once a year and the other things go back to annual too (like mammo, etc.) The follow ups are stressful.
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mommyof2...... yeah!! Time for a party for you.....have a fun relaxing evening:
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Finally checking in after my weekend out, still recovering. First of all, w00t M0mmy! For clean scans! I had mine today, results Thursday. Came home after and slept all day.
So we went to Branson for the weekend, to spend time with our friends who live out near St. Louis, it's nearly equidistant and they have a time share. We went to the wax museum and to a murder mystery dinner theater. Generally had a good time, but it's exhausting for me. I do it because we love these folks. We will be going to their place in June, for their annual picnic. It always roughly coincides with DH's birthday, so it's a treat for him. Downside of that trip is it's a full 8 hours in the car.
Anyway, DH got a good pic of me in my new wig and with foobs so I thought I'd share with you.
Been having a horrible outbreak of excema lately. First started after I finished my first chemo back in '14, cooled off for a bit, then the halaven brought it on with a vengeance. Worst is my neck/upper chest area (doesn't look bad in the pic but it's red & bumpy & itches like the bite of a thousand mosquitos) and my ankles which constantly feel like they're on fire with the itching. I have triamcinalone ointment but most of the time it just makes it itch more. Also I seem to have developed a sensitivity to perfume. But only on my neck and my right inner wrist.
Hey sassy, the route we take to St. Louis is one of the best antiquing roads ever. Joplin has huge flea markets. You'd be in hog heaven. Used to be pretty fair pricing when DH and I were into that. We have no room now.
You lunch gals are so lucky! I need to get together with Beatmon again as soon as I find whatever new normal is going to be. I suspect it may be sleeping a lot for a while.
Hootie hoo to everyone, and welcome Ravn. Don't be afraid.
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Mags, you look Great! You picked a nice looking wig. The cut, style is flattering. I can't tell by the lighting, but it looks like it has grey tones, which makes it look like real hair.
That's what I'm going to select when the time comes...something with some grey in it. Those of us who are...ahem...of a certain age aren't fooling anyone when we pick hair pieces that are too dark. Complexions change as we age, and the dark browns or auburns that may have worked for us in our 30s and 40s don't look so great when we're in our late 50s, 60s and beyond 😂.
Be grateful that at least you can sleep. Lots of us are handling insomnia and quite a bit of pain, scaring the sheep and Mr. Sandman away night after night.
Keep traveling as much as your body permits. You're making memories.
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Lita, I got that wig from TLC (wigs for cancer patients) and took it to my hairdresser last week to style it for me. I hadn't tightened it, so it slid around a bit. We found the tightening straps in the back, just Velcro, and tightened it up. Saturday night when I was wearing it I started getting a headache and realized it was too tight, so during intermission at the show I went to the ladies room, took it off, loosened the straps, and put it back on. Easy peasy. Headache gone. Anyway here's the picture from TLC:
It is kind of salt and pepper, very close to my own hair color, or what it once was.
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Susie M49 Hello, we love when Lurkers decide to drop in. It can be crazy remembering things about folks. I even do split screen and forget from one screen to the next and they are side by side. Each time you dive on in it gets easier
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Greetings Sas!!! (waving back at ya)
Your amazing humor and medical insight has been missed on this thread.
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