INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Lover, what is the texture? The photo of the bowl looks like something I've eaten in a restaurant. SIL is Asian, so we eat at a lot of Chinese restaurants.
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Once again awake all night despite sleepers etc. it’s 7 am and I just took a Xanax and finally am starting to go to sleep. I want to sleep when the world is sleeping and be awake during the day. It really irritates me
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Question for those in colder climates: It's lightly snowing here with low temps predicted way below freezing. We have daffodils in bloom and in bud and a hellebore in full bloom. Will the freeze kill these plants and destroy the flowers? I could pick the daffodils if they're going to die. They're as far along as you see at the store.
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Wren, I've had daffodils in bloom and bud during snow season. Mine did well. The last time it happened if I remember correctly, the snow covered about half way up the plants. I noticed, in general, the blooms prefer cooler temps over hot one.
Edited to add: If there is considerable snow and the sun is harsh afterward, the reflection off the snow and the sun itself might cause a problem. I’ve taken sunburns when I was out shoving snow fro the sun reflecting off of it.
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Thanks Kath.
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Poor you Mommyof2, hope you are feeling better soon.
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LoverofLife - I will PM you. And sorry but that stuff looks nasty to me. I will stick w Scottish oatmeal. Peaches on the side
Yesterday made veggie cabbage soup but the tomatoes made it sour beyond anything I ever had w this so had to take those out, add more boxed broth, add cane sugar and salt and garlic powder. Seems tamed down. Will make stewed tomatoes w bagels out of tomatoes Hubby forked out. Going to try the soup now.
I have given up meat for now. It just makes me disgusted. Shrimp and such don't but just gave it all up for now. I cannot eat much lately and stomach is not happy lately. Was better. I thought everything was getting better. Plateaued then diving right now.
Late last night I had thinly sliced everything bagel toasted w cream cheese on it. I don't like to eat much hormone stuff, but it went down. After I couldn't eat the soup or anything else except canned organic fruit here and there.
I did have a one degree temp, but don't think I am "sick" though I actually do hope so. Cancer acting up or sick? I will take the sick.
Mommyof2 - get well, be well.
I am sorry to say I cried almost all day yesterday, just felt that miserable. And when we watched the movie Megan Leady that set me off at the middle to end and I cried for two hours these real tears, real ones. My tear ducts are working again. Xeloda put the lupus and Sjogrens in remission and still there. Hubby rubbed my back and that helped me get my bearings.
Junie - coughing w a fractured vertebrae has to be miserable w or w/o the steroids. Gentle hugs.
LOSING POSTS - For me on the computer I can use back arrow and it goes back to my post, all still written. Hope that helps someone.
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Hi Ladies
Been away for awhile. Love this " Vegas type forum". I'm getting my exchange surgery on my left breast next Monday, the 26th. Bye, bye damn tissue expander😬😬😬. Been there almost a year. I have posted on another thread, but I wanted to see if any of you ladies have had the exact scenario I had. I chose only a unilateral mascectomy, as the onco didn't think I needed to remove the healthy right breast. A tissue expander was put in, then after healing the PS expanded to the right size. Then, radiation, and had to wait six months. So, I'm having a silicone implant put in place of my expander. Also, my other breast will be lifted to match.
When my PS lifts the healthy breast, she will take away some of my areola. Also, she will reduce the breast a little. All my life, I had my right breast bigger than my left. I was so self concious. On the bright side, never did hurt my sex life. Lol. Now back on topic.
Have any of you had an implant in one breast, and reconstruction on the healthy breast? Also, did any of you have a 3D tattoo put on? How long is the surgery? Will there be pain with reconstruction? Very nervous. Thanks ladies.
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Goodmorning Ladies,
Just want to share these pics of my baby boy. We are getting snow here today and most of the week apparently. Kirby has been at his trainers being boarded for the past 10 days and she sent me pics of the Kirbster running his heart out in the snow at her place. It really brightened my day! He is coming home in the morning. Yay!
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Blue - The fracture is in L3, so my coughing doesn't seem to be affecting that. However, the longer I am on my feet the pressure of my upper spine pushing down really flares the nerve that is getting pinched and increases the pain/weakness in my right leg.
Since it is a holiday today the local buses are not running, so I am stuck at home. I had planned on seeing the movie "Black Panther" with a friend today until we remembered the holiday. Blah!
jaymeb - My scenario was not precisely like yours, but I had my mastectomy at age 31 and a tissue expander was placed immediately after the mastectomy, so all in one surgery. I had the expander in for 2 years, then my body rejected it and I ended up needing it removed, so I had a TRAM Flap done. The up side of my situation was that when the PS did the TRAM there was already enough skin for the pocket and he didn't have to do a skin graft. So now 25 years later, the reconstruction is still doing well.
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Blue, Julie, Sas, and the rest of you incredible women
I owe you women a big apology. I just realized some of you are in Stage 4. How stupid am I?
As I mentioned before, when I start posting on a thread, I read from the beginning to get to know all the ladies, and what is going on. This is the only thread I didn't do that. I saw how extremely busy it is, and couldn't keep up. So, I just jumped in, and talked about my issues. I've spent some time this afternoon truly reading the posts. Now, I have more clarity. I have been so selfish, and I'm sorry to all.
Blu, you have a great attitude, and so full of life. I enjoy these pics of your pets. Now, the skunk, hmmm🤔🤔🤔. If you're up to it, I would love to know how you got so invested in so many animals. My daughter and I are very much animal lovers. We have a two bedroom apartment with two cats. Reece is 15, and is begging for another cat, and a dog!!!! And who do you think takes care of them???? Me!!!! I'm a divorced Mom, and just can't afford a lot of animals. My daughter is very different than me. I'm very girly, and prissy. She hates make up, and dresses. Very much an independent, earthy girl. However, she talks a lot, and very fast like me.
I live in fear of a reoccurance everyday. One reason I'm up all night. She is what keeps me going. I have to be strong for her, especially since she's an only child. Her dad and I get along great, and I could not ask for a better father. He was right there with me through my cancer journey. I still wish we were married. You, and your husband seem so close. I envy you ladies that have great husbands. I've been horrified of husbands who leave their spouses, because they couldn't handle it. Assholes!!!!
I'm so sorry you've been in so much pain, and you are facing whatever will happen. The urn is beautiful. I hope I'm not being insensitive, but were you diagnosed with Stage 4 at initial diagnosis, because it's rare. How many children do you have, and what ages? Any grands? I do believe the power of the mind does help with coping and longevity.
Junie
I see you were diagnosed years ago in 1991. Wow, and 23 years later, it comes back. From what I understand, women can live many years with bone mets. How are you dealing with the pain? Did the radiation help? I know it's common to use radiation with that. Thanks for your feedback with the reconstruction. Very nervous about it.
Sas
I don't see your diagnosis. I was wondering about your situation. But, I know some people are private. Hope I didn't overstep. Thank you for starting this thread. Also, your smarts on all this medical stuff. I've learned more here than reading the books regarding breast cancer. I realize I still have a lot to learn. Sighhh
Beatmom
How are you feeling?
You know, with reading, and trying to educate myself on BC, it's such a mystery. How come some women are diagnosed at early Stage 0 or 1, and it comes back? Then I see later stages, and no reoccurance. I never tell people I'm cancer free. I just say I'm a BC survivor. I'm not sure if there is such a thing as being "cancer free". Those sneaky little cells can lay dormant, and pop up at anytime!!!! I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but I read somewhere that women who have had BC have a 30% of reoccurance at sometime in their life. Not sure if this is Stage 0-3 combined. Is it even accurate? We say that many throw the kitchen sink at it with chemo. I always thought chemo was a definite cure. Well, not true. Will we ever have a cure for this horrible disease???? Does the 5, or 10 year survival rates really matter?
Sorry for going on and on, I needed to get this out. Thank you ladies for your smarts, and wisdom. Especially you, Sas. I hope I can continue on this forum.
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Rumor
Ditto!!!! Everything you said is soooo true, and ONLY we sisters who have gone through this disease understand!!!!! My friends, and loved ones mean well, but than can NEVER truly understand.😬😬😬0 -
Someone described cancer as double crossing the Mafia and getting away with it. You look over your shoulder from then on.
I'm glad women of all stages feel comfortable posting here.
Whatever your issues are, they're YOUR issues and you need help with them.
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Ms. Wren, the ginkgo nuts are soft (not starchy) and a bit chewy, not quite as chewy as gummy bears. They are not stink at all. Thank goodness! I didn't know the fruits smell bad. Can't imagine harvesting them. I do love how the ginkgo tree looks in the fall.
Kath, you actually shook the fruits off the trees? Hah! Can't picture a 7or 8 year old child that determined to get rid of the fruits.
Blue, how many tomatoes did you put in the cabbage soup to make it so sour that it wasn't edible? I like tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwich, but too much tomatoes give me heartburns.
Canned fruits is soothing when I get a sore throat. Did you mean to say you had a 100 degree temperature? “Sick" or cancer acting up? I hope “sick". Jaymeb, just talk away and let it out.
I had delayed recon. Unilateral mx and a small implant on the right side to match. I didn't get a lift as there was nothing there to lift. Hah! I had little pain with the exchange. Didn't have to take Norco, just Motrin. Much easier recovery compared to mastectomy or expander placement. Best wishes on your surgery. Ms. Wren is right. I am always looking over my shoulder for the ruthless “Mafia". I hope that I lost them for good and I wish the same for you too! Btw, my younger daughter will be 15 in April. Also an independent kid.
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Kirby!
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Lover, when I was seven/eight, the city sent crews out to shake the trees to get the fruit out. I was returning home from having my tonsils out. We still have a few of the older trees on the block as well as the newer ones that were planted to take the place of the females they cut down. The trees on my side of the block have electrical lines so there has been some creative pruning done to them. I'll have to take a picture of the trees when the leaves come out.
Junie, ❤️ the pictures of Kirby. We had an inch of snow on the weekend. Going to get to the 70's here the next few days.
Oops, need to send a text to DS. Just saw a report on NHK that a fighter jet had an engine fire shortly after take off from Misawa Airbase where he works. It did makeit back to base safely.
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Kath, went back and re-read your previous post. Thanks for the clarification. I should have known better not to speed read. Scary about the fire jet. Glad to hear everyone is safe. Bedtime for me. Nite nite. Good morning Feline!
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Here is the picture of the second book by my favorite former English professor.
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Sas probably doesn’t put her stats under her sig because if she did there wouldn’t be room for any other posts on the page.
HA! Love you Sassy, my BFF
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Of course I can’t sleep tonight. I go to the PS tomorrow for pre exchange visit. (Surgery is end of March). I don’t know if I’m excited or scared.
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stopped by to read all. Will probably write tomorrow or soon.
Yes it was a one degree temperature and now none. And no anemia.
edited to add - deleted a double post.
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stopped by to read all. Will probably write tomorrow or soon.
Yes it was a one degree temperature and now none. And no anemia.
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Jaymeb, there are so many ways and reasons men leave us. My husband loved me so much he couldn't bear the thought of losing me, of watching me die (like he watched his mother), and began to drink to dulll the pain, hiding it so no one would know until it was too late and he died of cirrhosis. But he left me, as certainly as if he'd walked out the door and slammed it behind him. But I can't pick up the phone and hear his voice, and as him what should I do about whatever. After 30 years (and 3 months, to the day) together, I don't know how to do life without him. And it just plain sucks.
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Beatmom - I think we have little control over the sleep when it is a physical problem like me when I was coughing all day and night. Or pain. But sometimes I just have to decide this is it. I refuse to give in and get out of bed and eventually sleep takes over. How it has been lately anyway.
Watching the birds on feeder baskets along deck.
Wren - hyacinths, daffodils and even tulips like the cold and will even handle snow. Also star of Bethlehem, snowdrops.
KIRBY - having fun in the snow. Danny Boy's favourite thing is snow. Then me. He would probably lay down and let Kirby run circles around him while he laughed and ate snow.
Jaymed - my daughter was also invested. She brought them home and we found the lost owners and or a new owner. But when she moved out she left me w a pile of cats on my front porch. ugh. Dealt w it. I am a one cat only lady. Preferably a skunk though. We did some wildlife rehab and ended up w a skunk to rehab, h couldn't be and was mine. From there I did skunk rescues of domestic skunks that lost their happy homes due to the owners usually not realizing what they were getting into. Newfoundlands have always been adopted at around 3 to 4 yrs old, they lost their happy homes too. But out first Newfoundland was a 10 wk old puppy, Orson. Newfie puppies are cut and then they are pups and more than I can handle. I prefer older dogs just getting the spit and vinegar out of them. My DD is 33 and GD is 12. I was dx w stage 4, it had already clouded my lungs and gone into the lymph nodes though not liver until 2016. Some days I do not feel so full of life or anything. Bogged down by trying to figure this out again and again. Never having an answer or doctor stick is a real problem. Then there are days when I just say to hell w it and write and have fun. I am now taking off every Friday, Saturday and Sunday, no appts or scans or tests or anything. I will cut back on Thursday too after this week is over, have the medical pain exam for the accident tomorrow and meet w my attorney this afternoon. And they want me to see yet another doctor for pain test and testimony in court, that will rob me of yet another 8 hrs of my life.
LoverofLife - I don't know why I had the one degree temp - but I know now it is not sick and labs say not anemia, so I am feeling poorly and not happy about that. The tomatoes - Hubby opened the largest can he could find of course. I forget he does that stuff but am never surprised. They were fire roasted whole so the inside juices had not been cooked. I will make stewed out of them soon. The soup is better but most everything is tasting sour to me lately. And if it is not smoothie, pureed, baby food then it just sticks at my tender tummy and my body balks at eating again.
Mags - sometimes we forget you need hugs daily. ((((Magdalene))) Here's a picture for you. A cornflower meadow in dappled sunlight.
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Bluebird, I thank you for the field of cornflowers, and I raise you a wall of roses! Grown by myself!
I loved this, it was at my old house, don’t have one here but a perfect spot for it at the new place. And Heirloom Roses has it on sale right now. Crown Princess Margareta. Beautiful, huge, fragrant blooms. Yummy.
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Long, pointless ramble. Do not read if you are not in the mood to be annoyed. You have been warned.
The past year with cancer has been .... like it didn't really happen. Only it did. But I can't believe it. But I can. There are scars. There is pain and swelling. There is doom and gloom and writing wills and giving away items that are precious now rather than later. Hub went back to his normal life, which is for him the familiar and safe floaty boat that he climbs into and bobs along when the going gets rough. And I LOVE my Hub, yes I do, and I know this is hard on him, yes it is. And I should be happy that he is in his floaty boat happily living life, refusing to let any other realities alter his path. Because that's how he feels safe. But what I really want to do is swim over to his floaty boat and stick a big knife in it and watch as it fizzles and sputters and he can use his hard hat to bail it out. Ha ha. Sorry. Not sorry. I feel like I was hurled off the dock, a passing shark took a big bite out of me, the bastard is still circling in the water and Hub is happily floating along on his floaty boat, oblivious.
This winter has sucked and been very hard. As I said, life went back to normal for everyone except me. I am not angry at them (although I do want to deflate the floaty boat) but I am angry. I look back over the past 40 years and think, who am I? What have I done that matters? If I could do anything I want, what would it be? (long, blank pause). If I am on borrowed time, which we all are, really. But if I am on borrowed time that I have been made painfully aware of, should I spend it washingcookingcleaningfoldingvacuumingfeedingdogchickenhorsesgroceriesmowingwindowwashing? My space bar did not break. My life feels like a repetitive wheel of endless housework and drudgery and I have howled about this before. Howled about this for 40 years. I need to do something different. I know this. This is not news.
But here's the catch. If I go rogue, do something so utterly radical, blow my world apart and the floaty boat with it, will I regret it? Will I look back on the hum-drum this is and think, I had it good, I should have treasured that?
If I DO NOT do anything radical, if I set my sights on finding happiness and joy right where I am, which so far has been pretty elusive, if I do not make a change, will I regret it? Will I think on my deathbed, shit, I should have gone bonkers and run away with the circus when I had the chance?
I am of two minds, and neither is worth a damn.
Has your experience with cancer brought you more fully and deeply into the life you are living right this minute? Or has it propelled you in a different direction, clarifying that the time for change is now?
And thinking of this stuff at almost midnight is why I don't sleep!
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Hello Ladies,
Mags! - I know you have been struggling (((hugs))) and you have been missed. I am so glad to see your face (in your avatar) and read your posts. The roses are beautiful too. Wish we could all enjoy their aroma.
I went outside of my apartment about an hour ago and it is snowing out there. It is predicted that this area will get 3-4 inches over night. Boo! Hiss! It is pretty, initially, but I am supposed to volunteer tomorrow and if there is snow on the ground it'll be too hard to push my walker through for the 4 blocks I'd have to walk. Not to mention the risk of slipping. Oh well, I'll just have to wait and see what it looks like in the morning.
Blue - Kirby would have great fun running around Danny Boy. I went to the movies today with a friend and Kirby was rather restless sitting on the seat between us. But he did fine overall.
I finally got an appt. with the neurosurgeon. I see him mid-March. Yay! Although the idea of back surgery makes me nervous. However, it's all about "Quality of Life", so we'll see.
I am off to bed now. Goodnight to all!
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Miss Blue - Looove the wildflowers! Beautiful picture; Like peeking into a secret fairy land. As for your tummy.....how do you do with yogurt? I mainly dine on low fat vanilla flavored yogurt with fruit mixed in. Fresh, frozen or canned all taste so yummy 😋
Mags!!!! You have been very much so missed. Your roses are always so perfect! Always enjoy your pics.
Loverly - I know you are thinking I did something that I didn't do. I would have have, but was too tired 😇💤
Junie - So happy you got the doc you wanted!
Sending out gentle (((hugs))) to Miss Blue, Mags, Beatmon and all my dear Owlie Sisters.
I shall add "Ellie Mae Looking for Spring" to the flower gallery 🐶
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SSSHHHHHH! Ellie Mae fell asleep watching Perry Mason on the telly.
Good morning Feline! Nighty nite to the rest of y'all 😴
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Hello, thank you for all the kind words, they are a blessing to my soul.
Mags hugs, one day at a time.
I talked with Phyllis, after three chemo's at three trial chemo's and one radiation trial, she's on a chemo trial that things have remained stable. This is the best yet. Looking very possssssstive. Also, Phyllis's son has moved to Titusville florid from Houston. He's about 20 minutes from me.
Jay I took my stats off when our stuff on OMG THEY FOUND CURE FOR STUPID thread, started to appear on fb. The first 100 pages are a hoot. I never put them back on. I felt very liberated not looking at them. . I did even get to the point that I forgot some of the stuff nd had to relook them up b/c someone accused me of not having BC. That was about 3years ago. I then came across a statement on my path report with the PLOIDY that said "unfavorable outcome". I hrrumphed and said "well fooled you". Consider some day of taking your stats off. I think though right now you need them to keep straight where you are at. But soon that will change. Yes, we are the only mixed group. Hahaha we are special in that regard.
Runor delete>>>>>>what up????????
Off to MO aappointment routine. Also, decided to fire the new endocrine guy. Under his care I've gained 17 lbs.
Blue, yes, Steam Room serves a very special need. Did you ever read the topic box? something like "drop the rant and go find a nice social thread. It's to toxic to stay here all the time". But seriously before SR, there was no place to let it all out.
LOverly, yes, it's nice we both weren't successful Hugs and smooches
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