INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
Comments
-
Essa, has anyone had a relief of their sjorgens that you know of? And why did this happen?
Junie, YAY Kirby's coming home whopdedo
0 -
Shepkitty - I was wondering when you were going to post another pic of Miss Ellie. She is officially a spoilt princess I see.
Flowers are so lovely. Roses, trees.
Mags - whoosh so many roses!
Junie - Danny Boy would have to be careful not to step on Kirby. He loves little dogs.
Sas - It would be toxic to be in Steam Room all the time, but the support system of readers is needed and by giving I think the toxicity is lessened. We appreciate you started it. The Stupid thread was a place to dump but it was almost expected to be in the form of a joke. And the Bonfire of the goddesses was a dump thread but short dumps, no diarrhea. Both stagnant now though they may live again.
Going to get Bowen therapy for my back being out. sigh At least I don't have to leave home to do it.
Later ladies.
0 -
Blue, I was rushing to do the doctor thingy. I apologize, you cried all day and I ask about the sorgjens things, What a dufus. Hope the cry helped. And here I go into the science thing again. It's been proven that they're chemical things in tears that reduce stress. Which is positive for the immune system. I forget the chemicals and the mechanism, but crying is a very good thing. Obviously, doesn't seem like a good thing, but it is a very good thing.
Shep love Ellie May's pictures. The one with the blossoms is my favorite. Has the other problem been resolved.
Mommy hope you feel better
Wren supremely love the ashes story. If I had heard of such as a younger. I would have at least done differently with my furbabies. I love the concept of carrying our ancestors with us. It doesn't follow the Catholic belief. But the Catholic belief has relaxed over the years. My priest was okay with Greg in the bedroom with a future plan. When I said I wanted Schatzi's mixed with my ashes, he said don't tell anyone i.e . b/c that is against the rules. I loved him for that. He didn't admonish me or condemn me........There was documentary about an aboringal people (forget who) that burn the body, from the ashes, some were taken and added to the family container(big). Then there was a celebration. At the celebration some ashes were taken from the big container. Mixed with liquid(water?) Then each of the survivors drank from the bowl. The idea as stated by the documentarian as told to him, was that all of their peoples that came before them, were now part of them. The ceremony was quite reverent. I was shocked at first. I had to divest myself of thoughts of cannibalism.i.e. these were ashes not flesh. I then accepted their approach of respect for all that came before them.
0 -
QUENNIE, Hi honey, you will so laugh. My twin at 67 has just bought her first computer. HP pavilion. I didn't tell her that's what I had and all the troubles. My nephew helped her----God Bless him. She has no patience. She's north of Saginaw in Alger area. I know you know where that is. It's a low internet service area. She has convinced herself she must rent out her fore house to make more money to live on. The computer is needed per her thought to do marketing. She's on a lake section of the rifle river that has been created by a small dam. Multiple others on the lake have successfully done this. I hope she does excellent, but I fear she will through the computer in the lake.
0 -
A truly insomniac night. 4:43 local time currently. Been awake since probably 6 am, and no nap, either. My friend (proprietress of my favorite Mexican restaurant) scooped me up this morning and took me to her church’s perpetual adoration chapel for an hour of contemplation and prayer, just the two of us. Very peaceful. My sister in law has been encouraging me to go over there (it’s just a mile or so away) and i’m glad I did. When I got back I fully intended to go back to sleep for the rest of the day. Ha! Almost like I’d forgotten I’m buying a house! My lender called with a list of things I needed to do today..So the rest of the day was spent signing papers, both electronically and “wet”.and digging up various pieces of documentation. Sitting here in bed with 2 iPads and my phone.
But that was the business side of my brain. The other side was doing something entirely different. I’d caught an ear worm from some music I’d been listening to, courtesy of my cousin. (If you are unfamiliar with ear worms, that’s what they call it when you can’t get a piece of music out of your head. I’m one of a small percentage of people who almost constantly have music in their head. Always have. Runs in the family, too. Dad definitely had it. It’s actually a form of auditory hallucination.) So anyway, I had to find the song so I can get all the words right. Well as it turns out, this song is called The Prettiest Flowers, and the version I love is by a Southern Gospel group called The Isaacs. It’s not on any of their many albums, at least not on iTunes, but it is on YouTube, along with a playlist of about 299 pieces of their music, both live and digital recordings/
Well, if you’ve known me any length of time, you probably know how much I love to garden, and my special fondness for roses. In fact, I’ve already started picking out a choice few favorite bushes to plant at the new house. There’s a grower I like to get them from, called Heirloom Roses, and I’ve been haunting their site, especially the sale pages, in between signing documents. So between the song and the roses, I started thinking about DH and what we believe happens beyond the last heartbeat. So I made a post on Facebook, with that picture above of the Crown Princess, and linked to the YouTube videos, and the following words:
When David and I met, he was not too keen on flowers, whereas I was always itching to get my hands in the dirt. Roses reminded him of funerals – until I started growing them. I am picturing him finally taking the time to stop and smell the celestial roses – the prettiest flowers – growing beside the streets of gold, without even having to be encouraged to do so. Do they remind him of me?
https://youtu.be/4NTCT9oQL_c
P.S. Here's a version with all the lyrics. I love them both.
https://youtu.be/LfT4vTssYPw0 -
Sas - the cry was quite healing. I have cried for various reasons the last week... frustration, anger, longing memories of my mom, despair, shame, anger, sadness, even hope and appreciation made the cry interesting. Have not cried so much maybe ever. Real tears that were blotted up by the Sjogrens. Now that and lupus seem to be in remission from taking Xeloda, there is room for more ways to heal.
Sas - that's one way to delete a computer. I have often threatened to take mine into the woods and leave it there for three full days. Then return for it, either to take it home after it has thought about what it has done OR to mash it with a sledge hammer and then become a potter or something hopefully non-stressful. But since writers need their computers then here we sit.
Mags - so beautiful. Now is the song singing from the earworm hallucination or from deep within your heart? I think that perhaps he is with the flowers and thinking of you.
0 -
Sas: (snickers) Your sister has my sympathies....and yes, I do know where that is. Let me know if she needs help lofting the (&%_W^ thing over the dam(n) into the reservoir beyond. I've been happy with my HPs, but not everyone is.
0 -
Hey Blue, that’s a great question, and I think I have an answer. I’ve had this all my life, and apparently most of my immediate family do too. Not my cousin, though, which is why I think it came from my dad. Although mom was very musical, had a beautiful soprano voice, sang at her high school graduation, and in choirs as long as she was able, there wasn’t always music in the house when dad was at sea, that I remember. But my dad collected music, mainly classical, opera, and broadway musicals. After he retired from the Navy, he would go to the base library and check out (vinyl) records, and go home and record them on his reel to reel. So when he was home, after he retired, music was always coming from the inner sanctum. A lot of the music I carry in my head is from that exposure. But it wasn’t just the exposure, because siblings recall the music as being oppressive, and have no affection for classical, etc. whereas I still hear snatches of them constantly.
But it wasn’t until a conversation with Sassy some time last year that we tracked down the syndrome and identified it (because that’s what we do on the phone!). And that I learned that not everyone hears music in their head all the time! I see it differently now, as a gift, and I actually observed how I channel it and control it. For instance, if I am on the verge of a depressive episode, certain pieces or songs will start to play. If I allow them to continue, they can feed the depression. But if I change the “jukebox” (as I think of it) I can reorder my thoughts as well and avoid the negative. Another thing that happen is actually closer to the conventional understanding of the ear worm, and that is a song that keeps playing, repeats and repeats, until it becomes annoying or even, in the extreme, sickening. When that happens, actually playing something different on my phone helps break the cycle.
I think what happened with the flowers was a different sort of thing - you are correct in your assessment of it coming from deep within my heart. I’ve been listening to a couple of different albums on my phone lately. One is an older one, 1997, called City of Gold; the other a newer one, from the Gaithers, called Going Home. It’s a compilation of clips, some longer, some short, from their Homecoming Series, about death and Heaven, and there was a short clip of The Prettiest Flowers. So that was the origin of the ear worm, and finally I just had to do some research and find out who sang it on the album. That led me to the Isaacs playlist. Then, as I was sitting here signing papers and thinking about how different buying this house is, doing it by myself, and I just thought of David and how he hated the smell of roses until I started growing them and cutting them for the house. He had probably only ever smelled florists’ roses, at funerals. But in the 90s I found one of my favorites, called Tiffany, which is an old hybrid tea that actually won awards for its strong fragrance, which I liken to sticking your nose in a bowl of raspberries. And the plant I found was actually a climber, and over the years we were in that house, it grew up to the 2nd floor windows. Unfortunately, due to a neighboring mulberry tree, it didn’t get enough sun after May or so, so it stopped blooming, although after the mulberry shed its leaves in the fall we might get a couple of blossoms.
David figured out that he’d never smelled REAL roses before. I wonder what heaven’s roses smell like?
0 -
DH played music all the time after our marriage. The genre changed from time to time, but I never had any input about what to play. In time, I learned to screen it out like I do the ads on my computer. I guess in some ways, that's my loss. On the other hand, I am totally into art and color. On our way back from Oregon, we stopped by Heirloom Roses to see their complex. They have an area about the size of 2 lots with roses planted all around. You're free to walk and sniff and take notes. We bought the Impressionist, which is a rose that changes colors throughout the bloom season. Smells good too.
0 -
Mags - Not like your gift, but I hear music, choirs and such so often. Over the sound of the shower or when there is a din from the television and I am nearby, the music kicks in. Seldom words. More of a full orchestra and choir. Or an angelic voice. But not all the time.
When friends and I went to Sedona long ago there was a fountain in the house we rented for 10 days. Sitting quietly in the living room one could hear voices of the native Grandmothers talking in their language. Sometimes them singing. It was eerie and captivating. I could hear, a few other women could too, not all. Water carries music, memories, miracles.
We had music in elementary school and onward. But at age 14 this was actually my introduction to music This one on my stepdad's album and he couldn't get over that I loved this music. Forget 1970s rock n roll, I loved the R&B from two decades before and forward to mid-sixties.
and this from Peer Gynt of all things, he had the entire recordings of the play.
0 -
I almost got up last night. In that short time between going to bed and falling asleep where there is no thought of cancer I forgot the problem and had a tussle with one of my pillows and it hurt. Oh yeah, forgot about that, didn't you, the liver said to me. Eventually I drifted off. Then woke to the powerful winds blowing through the woods, strong and capable of taking down trees but none that I found today.Danny Boy had to go out at 3ish and I swear his fur was windblown straight back like he had been styled.
0 -
Blue~ I am thankful that you are able to cry. The body does release hormones to help us when we cry.
Here is an excerpt: “ In fact, one study collected both reflex tears and emotional tears (after peeling an onion and watching a sad movie, respectively). When scientists analyzed the content of the tears, they found each type was very different. Reflex tears are generally found to be about 98 percent water, whereas several chemicals are commonly present in emotional tears [Source: The Daily Journal. First is a protein called prolactin, which is also known to control breast milk production. Adrenocorticotropic hormonesare also common and indicate high stress levels. The other chemical found in emotional tears is leucine-enkephalin, an endorphin that reduces pain and works to improve mood. Of course, many scientists point out that research in this area is very limited and should be further studied before any conclusion can be made.“
https://www.google.com/amp/s/science.howstuffworks.com/amp/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/crying1.htm
Hugs
Love the music videos. Here is one of my favorites:
Mags, thank God the auditory hallucination is music rather than voices
Very happy to hear that you are buying a new house. Saw the photo of it. Beautiful! Curious what the inside looks like.
Shep, I love the photos of Ellie. Hopefully, the med works and she is no longer Smelly Ellie. Poor baby.
JunieB, yay! Wisdom to neurosurgeon.
Ms. Sas, hope the back roll helps.
0 -
Mags - I am listening to that song right now. Beautiful! I'd never heard that before.
Sheppy - Miss Ellie is a cutie. Looking very comfy on the couch.
Blue - The pink & white flower pic you posted, are those Hydrangeas? Very pretty.
Loverly - So what if a person just doesn't cry?
I had bought a bunch of bananas to bake some bannana/apricot bread, but never got to it because of my back. So this morning I took those very brown, yucky bananas to the compost heap.
On another note, recently I was reading on the Ibrance thread about the things we on the drug are not supposed to be consuming (i.e., Grapefruit, pomegranate, blood oranges & Tangelos). This info was also given to me by a nurse from the specialty pharmacy that is supplying my Ibrance script. As it turns out I was never given this info and I've been drinking Pomegranate/Cranberry juice w/ sparkling water for awhile now. Apparently these items increase the toxicity of the Ibrance and possibly was causing my ANC to be quite low. Now that I have stopped drinking the juice, my last CBC showed my ANC to be 1.3. That is the highest it has ever been 3/4 of the way through a round of the Ibrance. Hmmm!
Well it is 1:00 p.m. here and I need to get in the shower.
Later Ladies!
0 -
Had lunch with the Sacto ladies last Friday. As usual, not enough time
0 -
Loverly - Oh what fun. So good to see all your faces!
0 -
LoverofLife now it is unusual to find music videos with farm life, cool. I really had fun watching that one. Imagine living on a peaceful farm like that one. All green.
Yes, Junie, those are in the front yard. A huge old bush.
Junie - at least you knew when to give up on the bananas. And on the Ibrance note, that is why we have to do this on our own somehow. I had surgery and was never ever told not to have a blood pressure cuff on that arm, no labs, and what to do to avoid lymphedema. About 5 months later I found BCO and info. How did I find bco? Because the bc nurse navigator at the hospital where the surgeon was made a special trip to my appt to give me the huge folder the surgeon's office had been hanging on to through all my December appts, never gave it to me. Bless her heart, I found you guys finally. That was back in Jan 2012.
0 -
Hi Blue, and all you wonderful women.
It's 3:00 in the morning my time, and still wide awake. I had my exchange surgery, and the right breast lifted. Oughhhhh😂😂😂. Bye bye expander, thank god!!!!! The silicone implant feels better, but I'm sore. The right breast, where I had the lift hurts like hell. Especially the nipple. My PS had to cut on my breast, and some of the nipple. Well, I wanted the right breast to match as much as possible to the left. The PS told me I would have more pain on that breast. Boy, she sure wasn't lying!!!!!! It's worse. My anesthesia still hasn't worn off. It will take two days. I'm just now feeling a little coherent. I'm taking Vicadin, and it only takes the edge off, not the pain. I'm not a fan of pain medicine. Hope to be off in a few days. Can't take the ambien while on it. Need to get off it anyway, but addicted to it. Sighhhh.
I've been catching up reading your Ladies posts. Blue, my eyes got wide reading about nobody on your medical team telling you NOT to use your mascectomy arm for blood pressure readings👀👀👀👀👀👀. What the hell? Sorry about that. That was one of the first things I was told, even before my mascetomy. If my wrong arm is used to get my blood pressure, it's my fault because I'm always running my mouth to the nurses, and get distracted. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ By the way, how are you feeling? It is sooo true, crying is the best medicine. I cry a lot!!! I have a history of depression. Always feel better after a good cry, if that makes sense. Blue, I think I mentioned how much my daughter and I love animals. However, she is more obsessive. She's an only child, and her pets since she was a baby are also her security.
We have two cats, had fish, now hamsters in our small two bedroom apartment. I swear she is asking for another cat, a puppy, more rodents(which I call hamsters), and a rabbit. She's a great kid, but lord have mercy. I told her when she gets out of college, and on her own, she can get a farm, and have any animal she wants. If I tell her you have one, she would probaly try to leave here, and find you!!!!! Lol.
I'm curious ladies, have any of you had, or have lymphodema? I always thought if one gets it, it would be immediately after surgery. Well, today, I was told lymphodema could come at anytime, years later. Is this true? It's a stupid question, but how?
Loveroflife
Great picture. Thanks for sharing more indepth info about what tears do. It makes sense. I always learn so much on this thread.
Mags
I'm so sorry about your husband. How long were you married, if it's ok to ask? I've heard, and read BC can be rough for a husband, and of course family in general. I'm divorced(which I regret everyday). My ex is a great man. Also, a very devout Catholic.🙂 I know you have great memories. My father passed 8 years ago at 65. He and my mom were married 46 years. She still misses him everyday. So do I. I read that you love gardening. I love flowers. Friends that I have tell me gardening is also therapeutic for them. Do you grow spices, or vegetables?
Well, now it's 4:00 am. Maybe I can go to sleep. Still very tired from my surgery yesterday. Hope all of you have a good day.
0 -
Mags
I just now saw you were married a little over thirty years. Sorry about that. It's hard to remember everything I read, even if it's a day ago. I hate how tamoxifen affects my memory😒😒0 -
The first person to tell me about not using the mx arm was a nurse after my surgery. It was so late in the day, they kept me in the observation ward overnight. It's true that you can get lymphadema any time, but I think it's more likely to be soon after.
Jaymeb, I hope your pain doesn't last long. I know what you mean about vicodin only taking the edge off.
0 -
Jaymeb - I had my mastectomy at age 31. I only had minor issues with lymphedema for the next 24 years, but once I started treatment for my MBC, the lymphedema increased. my right arm is a little more than double the size of my left arm. The BS took 25 lymph nodes when he did my mastectomy. Why I do not know, especially since they where all negative. I also get swelling in my chest and underarm. I go to a lymphedema therapist every once in a while and should wear my compression sleeve, but the thing is so uncomfortable I conveniently forget to put it on. I have also had 2 bouts with cellulitis in that arm as well. It's always something!
I have found that I need to continually remind the medical staff, nurses, etc over and over that they cannot use my MX arm for BP or needle sticks. Most are good about following my wishes, however I have had some nurses, usually the younger & newer ones that will say "oh it's ok" and then they get my stink eye and a tone that makes them re-think their approach. Apparently, these days BS's only remove a few lymph nodes in their patients and maybe they are less likely to experience a problem. I don't know for sure though.
I am glad your surgery is done and hope that the pain will subside soon!
Blue - At the corner of my apartment there is a blue hydrangea that is very pretty but because it is so large it interferes with the sidewalk access into my front yard, so I am hoping to find someone who is willing to dig it out and take it. I might have one lady who wants it. She said she'd get back to me when the weather gets better, so we'll see if she follows through.
Loverly - Was there any conversation at lunch about Chance & Gus Gus? If so, how are they doing?
Ok, off to bed for me. A friend and I are taking the bus to Portland in the morning. It's supposed to be really raining tomorrow. Yucky!
Goodnight to All!
0 -
Junie, if the lady doesn’t take the hydrangea and you can’t find anyone else to take it, have you thought of some creative pruning of the bush. I live at the top of a cul de sac that has no houses so it is filled with bushes and plants. Years ago some bushes were planted close to the curb. If I park in that area my passengers end up in the bushes. A few years ago I got fed up with them and now cut them back every year. We have several houses that plant flowers right up to the curb which makes it hard to get out of vehicles. I wish people would use common sense when they plant bushes, plants and trees. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a gardener but when I plant anything I think ahead to how big it could get and take that into where I’ll put it. We have one house whose hedge has taken over 3/4 of the public sidewalk and another house whose hedge is taking up about half the sidewalk. They haven’t done anything when approached so it’s time to get the city involved.
0 -
We planted a blue hydrangea over Lacey's grave. Last year there were several flowers. So beautiful. For SAge and Blossoms grave sites wee had a lace hydrangea and some huge flat rocks, very pretty.
Lacey
Today I tried to eat and couldn't more than a few bites. Then I got to craving really good chicken wings. I gave up meat 2+ weeks ago. But I said I really want them now. Hubby went in one place at lake and came out w unseasoned and cooked on the grill wings, dry and gross. I will give them a bad review for these, worst chicken ever. Who owns a place to serve food and does this and gets away w it? why?! So we drove 10 miles to next town w lake nd he came out of that place w wings that are really chicken tenders and baked, no seasoning but at least breading. I am going to cook them in sunflower oil and use salt and garlic powder to make them edible later. So I called the pizza place and their wings are oven baked too so no, just no. Chicken wings are guilty pleasures. Seasoned / marinated, breaded then slow cooker or deep fried and juicy in a sauce like buffalo or bbq. I am still searching. Meantime, Hubby bought me an old fashioned chicken pot pie like my mom used to bake on those nights we were home alone or sick. The little round single serving. Going to try to eat that now, seems bland enough. But messing w my cravings like this is just not acceptable.
We met our nephew and niece for brunch this morning. They are the highlight of our month right now, each month. Talk for 5 hrs and meet again next month.
I am telling my attorney that this pain dr I have to see for the firm's request on th e6th is the last dr call. Anyone else, including him. will have to journey to our home to see me. I am done. I have things to do and that is not on my bucket list. Yesterday my social worker w hospice / palliative was here, good talk. She's right. I am in charge now. It is all about me and what can I squeeze in that are priorities to me.
So people, get ready for some stories because I have a lot to get done.
Yesterday I called my neighbor who is a friend. We had not connected for 18 months since Xeloda stole my life last year to December. I plan to pick her up then let her drive around the area getting photos and surveying our countryside like we used to do. Last outing we went to MoonTree Studios for an art display. Times before we found wildlife and sunsets.
I am reconnecting w people I have missed in some way. Next my friend Virgina from MI.
Recovery time after outings is usually 3 days down and it is hard to accept. But once I realized it and that I have been pushing too hard to be back on the road the next day it made sense. Doesn't mean it will always be like this but when / if I get better as something is working then I will only do so if I am getting the rest I need so my body has the enrgy I need to heal.
0 -
Blossom on Papa's shoulders.
And Sage in fridge
0 -
hi,on kindle,computer broke since Sat. Lovely postings. Hugs
0 -
Oh Ms. Sassy, you beat me to it. Have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off....eek, that sounds kind of violent.
Queenie, I was supposed to relay the message to you that Ms. Sas' computer is down and she is having a team of computer techs working to hopefully resolve the problem. She is lost without her computer.
Ms. Sas, time for a new one?
Jaymeb~ I thought about you the other day. Glad to hear surgery went well, but sorry to hear the lift side is causing you pain. I have read that the pain is worse with breast lift. How is the pain compared to mx?
Junie, Sensi lost Chance the day prior
0 -
Loverly - I am SO sad to hear about Chance! How is Sensi dealing? So heartbreaking.
There is a man that I see on the bus every now and then, and on Monday I saw him again. I asked how he was doing and he just broke down into tears because he had had to put his 18 year old cat to sleep that day. I felt so bad for him. I know how attached we get to our furry family members.
Kathindc - That hydrangea was planted there by a previous tenant, who knows how long ago. It is up to my chest in height and as I said before, it blocks part of the sidewalk.
I am NOT a gardener. I have 3.5 houseplants that I have managed to keep alive for 7-8 years. My absolute favorite flower is a Lilac. My previous apt. has a white Lilac w/ a pink tinge. Absolutely gorgeous. The yard in front of my last apt. was totally weeded and neat & tidy. The new tenant has let it go to ruin since she moved in last August, plus she has stuff piled all over the yard, not to mention the poop from her dog. Her health isn't great, but she has a freeloader son who lives with her and he does absolutely nothing. Grrrr!
Now on a brighter note. I have a batch of brownies in the oven right now and the aroma is amazing.
Also, speaking of Lilacs, I found a new quilt pattern and the fabric used in it has gorgeous Lilacs all over it. I am nearly salivating over the quilt, however I already have enough fabric, so I am restraining myself for now.
Jaymeb - How are you doing today? I hope you have been able to get some sleep.
Blue - Your plan to get the things you want to done sounds like a good plan. A friend & were supposed to go to Portland today, but I was up numerous times last night and weakness/pain in my right leg has been really limiting me.
0 -
I think you could hack a hydrangea back to the ground and it would come back. For sure, if the woman doesn't want it, whack it back to the edge of the sidewalk. I remember reading an article about forsythia. The writer is a pruning expert with an organization called Plant Amnesty, which tries to keep people from pruning stupidly. Her conclusion was that forsythias are so strong just do it when your pruners are sharp.
I'm sorry to hear about the man's cat. A woman studying counseling started a Pet Loss Support Group at the shelter after losing a beloved dog. It meets once a week on a drop in basis. I was the facilitator one day and got to watch 2 grown men console each other about losing their elderly cats. Very sweet.
0 -
Awww
0 -
Junie, Sensi is trying to keep busy with work to help distract her from her sorrow. Poor thing.
Peppy said she might drop in to say hi.
Ms. Smaarty is around. Hah!
0 -
Lover: (amused) Thank you for relaying the message.
Sassy: my sympathies. How old is the computer? (It was your sister who bought the new one, right?)
0
