INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
Comments
-
Njmom & Tang, ( Tang brought it up first..lol..)
No worries on having sex, sounds like you are both in good stable relationships with DH. There are no restrictions that I know of, besides feeling like s*€t, that would stop you. Chemo does cause vaginal changes, dryness & aging before its time...ha. Ha...not funny, but sometimes it is funny...cause if we don't laugh we will cry...
It sucks...both of you are young and still have chemo ahead. Somehow we all make it through the nightmare of these treatments. My lumpy was easy compared to your mastectomy & reconstruction.
Getting the port is simple, compared to what you already have been through. I had mine put in one week after lumpectomy, BS pulled my drains then. I had no idea, that they looked like that until Blessings posted a photo of them....Yikes!
0 -
Dear Owlettes:
My sweet MIL took her last breath on earth at 8:50 last night. Her oldest daughter was holding her hand and telling her to "Go to Jesus." She took two more breaths, and did.
She was ready, we were ready, and it was wonderful how the whole family finally came together to say their goodbyes.
Now DH and I are responsible for all the arrangements....
Thanks so much for all your kind words.... they are MUCH appreciated!!!
0 -
Sweet Blessings.... I'm so sorry.... It was beautiful reading what you said... how you described her...
We are all sorry.....And now she is in a warm, peacful sleep....... xoxoxoxo
0 -
Blessings so sorry for u'r family's loss, but u'r family made her passing as easy as can be. She is happy now and at peace.
0 -
Morning gals... CAMMI! Good Lord, the way you talk to your Sister is just.... well, not so nice! Are you guys okay together, or do you pull each other's hair out?
I think I know what you mean though... I'm that way with DD that lives close to us... We just make each other laugh!
And I hate to mention this, but WTH are you talking about? I mean, "muggers, holes, no lights, knives"... WHAT???? There IS an easier way to make money you know. And "no one can hear you".... Yeah, I got THAT part!
And you're "continuing" with this story? Aaargh!!!
Miss Sass... talking about sex again.... How old IS this dude? Sounds good to me though... Yes, kiddles, there still IS such a thing!
Just not the same... Not the same WAY, nor the same ANYthing, but there still IS. Just have to be imaginative... and not having the power go out is a plus. You can GET there, just takes a little longer...
As for "them".... it takes strength, will-power and endurance to get THEM there. Mind over matter...
And again.... Love your poem Sassy... That is the sweetest thing!
Cammi.... with the second installment... YOU silly, are just the cutest little person! You don't even like Planes? Chickens I can get, but airplanes? I think they call those things Aircraft now... I'll bet you never even flew on one? And you have an oven? This whole post of yours takes me back to the 50's...
Tango, your DH doesn't care what you look like! He just wants you... He just wants YOU to feel okay with everything... Think about how you can make HIM feel more desirable... I think he is afraid for you.... Afraid you won't want to anymore... You've lost part of "you"..... but he doesn't care... You are still "his".... all of you...
I know about just plain not wanting to, but sometimes if you do ANYWAY, it will make you both happier.... Take it from an old "sage," Ha, ha!
So Sass.... Does this problem with your DBF have anything to do with living in stupid Florida? He can't get a license? Now there's a problem! You guys put all your energy into getting him a license!
Jazzy is right Stellina... You guys are still young... I think I would at least give it a try... ! Being older makes things more "iffy".... but my friend... my friend who had BC before I did, took Tamoxifen for the 5 years, and did great! She had a Mastectomy... She was diagnosed 11 years ago!
Njmom... Go back a few paragraphs.. Don't think about what you think you look like... BeLIEVE me, he doesn't worry about what you look like, just how you feel! I don't know why it would matter, being on chemo... Just don't go gettin' pregnant..... And getting OLDER, like me, ALSO changes things .... but you can compensate for that! Just think of sex, as your best friend! Helps you get back to normal mentally. But I like to have the lights OUT, and a cute camisole on... or just anything... even 10 blankets.
So now that I've maybe cured the ills of the earth, I will take leave... carry on gals.....
0 -
OK now my thinking about sex---this might be R rated so if u feel faint of heart--don't read it.
If u have this feeling of not being comfortable with how u look--get that out of u mind, don't let that be the reason. U 2 h=seem like u've got good men for DH's and when they are like that u never repulse them, they are worried and u need to relieve their worry (kind of wrong word, but not really), it sounds like u can really talk to and with them and they will listen, that the way to start with communication about this, then u will ease into the actual act as u become closer Being so young I think they have more fear than u think and now it's in u;r area of expertise as a woman to make them feel comfortable. It's not easy at this time, but I think they sound worthy LOL
Sas of course u should have wine--wine if good for the body and soul--it's in the bible---Jesus took water and made wine, he didn't make cocaine so how can wine be bad for u. I think a book for relaxation is on top of u'r list to read--there has to be a book--even about meditation, u could put u'r energy to that thought. Now don't become like Chevy cuz u won't help any of us then--so u have to find balance--all balance is good in every aspect of life, in drink, food and yes even sex but mostly in movement--when u'r young movement has no litmits, but as u get older there are limitations--after all u don't see a senior winning any Olympics against a 20 yr old, but when they were 20 they could have. Don't start with senior Olympics, they are all seniors. So it's time to step back and enjoy the universe that was a gift for u.
Chevy I'm still being a tad gentle with you because u need some hugs and I can't do it in person, So I do it in printery. (((HUGS)))
0 -
Blessings- peace to you and your family on the passing of your MIL. May she rest in gods hands and be always in your hearts.
0 -
Oh! So now miss Gloria Stienham (or whatever) is giving us all advice about how to DO it... Ha! Actually she is absotootly right! This gals knows what she is talking about! I mean she SHOULD!....
This gal WORKS for her money! I don't think my DH would spend too much time "talking".... Gotta remember, he is Italian, and they generally don't have any right or wrong buttons.... And what do you mean balance? We TRIED that once, on a motorcycle.... T'ain't easy kid! Yes... Cammi, thank you for being gentle... and thank you for being you... You hugged me in "printery"??? Is that even a word? I don't care... I love you too!
0 -
Awwwwww Chevy--BTW it's one of my words.
0 -
OMG! We ARE running after each other this morning! Ha, ha!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JWTaaS7LdU
My favorite song, and artist... ever.
0 -
Chevy tht was beautiful, she had such a gift, her voice was impeccable---so sad
0 -
hi owlettes, OMG I have seven pages to catch up on! Just popping in to say hello and I'll BBL. ♥
p.s. thanks Jazzy for the 5th Dimension on Sooooouuuuullll Train.
0 -
Blessings, thinking of you and your family, so sorry for your loss. Your owl card is so sweet.
Good Morning to all...
Chevy, love that W.H. song.
I have got the itchys bad this morning. Sore boob, chest & back where the radiation exits...
0 -
Ahhh Blessings-It sounds like a peaceful and beauftiful moment actually ((hugs)) Prayers for strength to you and your dh to get thru making all the arrangements.0 -
Now, on the sex issue...ya'll made me laugh!! This might be R rated or TMI-tell me if too much okay?I've given dh a "hand" a couple of times, but that is about it. It doesn't take much for dh either, I know he just wants to the closeness and physicall feeling, so do I think. I feel so unfeminine though. Maybe like someone said, a cute camisole or nightgown will help.
BTW, I slept so good last night..thank you lord!!!
0 -
Tango.... well that's a start... Maybe you will warm up a little yourself, with more time.... Sometimes when things are on our mind, we just don't plain want to! Sometimes seeing a movie.... ummmmm, you know what I mean,.... is all it takes... ! YOU will feel desirable also, by taking a nice shower, putting on some sweet smelling stuff, and that "camisole" and maybe some high heels.... 'Cept I would break my neck.... Go walk in front of him.... If YOU feel sexy, so will HE!
Don't go walkin' around outdoors like Cammi does... Some things are best kept private...Ha!
0 -
I feel like Ms. Masters... of Masters and Johnson!
0 -
Hello owlettes. Love this forum and all the discussions. Always a good place for advice and laughs. Hope to have more time to post now that I'm recovering from surgery once again.
Not sure if this was mentioned or not, but my insomnia was helped by turning screen brightness down. I just have to read before sleep, and didn't realize my kindle (or any screen) stimulates your brain to wake up. I changed my settings to a black background with white lettering and turned the brightness down and it really helped!
Hugs to Blessings! So sorry for your loss.
0 -
He welcome Blue, Hoot
Blessings so sorry for your loss, but it's wonderful the beautiful peacefulness of her passing. God bless you all.
Chevy, 54 I'm 63, I've been told I'm a cougar, I no longer talk to that person. She wasn't joking . She went on and on. Very offensive............ DBF failed the eye test for his license. I got him into my eye docs office. They have an optician right in the office. So, glasses are ordered. They did give him a temporary.
I made him call all the HVAC companies in the book. Everyone tokd them just to write thry in "everyone does it". Nope, It's a felony---"ain't no felonies around here". He's got a bunch wanting resumes. LOL
0 -
Good tips Bluebird! Didn't think about that one!
And Sass.... That "person" is a bitch! Nope, don't talk to that person! Of all the nerve! So what business is it of hers ANYway! You should have smacked her! You are NOT a cougar.... You can be a sweet little Feline person, who is LUCKY enough to have SOMEone in her LIFE! Period! Now if he were maybe in his 30's, we might frown on it.... Or maybe NOT!
WHAT do we know? Single Women can be anything they want!
0 -
SisterOwlettes - Oh, y'all are such an awesome bunch!
Arrangements are proceeding, although each detail takes quite a bit of wrangling before it comes out right. Thankfully, DH and I started this process a year ago... and this will be the third funeral I've personally arranged.
But today - a day at the salon!!! Hair color, cut, and I'm good to go. I've been wearing a rather unruly shrub on the top of my head... and sometimes I don't even brush it before leaving the house. Hey, I might even get to my pedicure next week... before my toenails start clicking on the tiles like a big dog...
Don't think I can catch up with everyone individually, so I'll just say THANK YOU for the lovely words, thoughts, and prayers!
Hope everyone has a relaxing, soothing Saturday... and plenty of naps if you need them.
xoxo
0 -
welcome Bluebird, that is a great idea on the laptop/kindle/IPAD
Sas, to hell with her and the broom she flew in on. No worries, life to way too short to pay attention to age difference, especially adults...kids, now that sometimes is scary....would anyone think to comment if he was 8-9 years older? NO ! Double standard for women on so many issues...
Blessings, glad you are getting some personal time, you deserve it!
0 -
Sorry Blessings.... But you can DO it! Glad you are getting beautiated! Always makes us feel better! A Pedicure? My toe-nails are NOT lovely....! Nope! And I have a crooked toe... just one though. So go get a pedicure, and then come back and brag.... Ha, ha! And THEN send us a picture!
0 -
Tang Chevy has a good idea--Oh can't believe I said that.---anyway put on a really pretty camisole and panites and smell pretty-whatever u'r DH likes and take care of u'r DH anyway u can. U want him to know u love him, like I said he's in a confused state of mind so u lead him and he'll feel more comfortable after a little time--I think he'll know when u really don't feel well enough
0 -
OK finally caught up. Blessings & Chevy, so sorry about your losses. ((hugs))
Sassy, will be in your pocket for thyroidectomy on the 28th. I think I told you I had radioactive iodine 20+years ago to kill off hyperactive thyroid without surgery. I take thyroid pill every morning, been on same dose for years now.
Happy for all of us having good sex. I didn't want to during chemo and for months after had no desire. But at annual exam 3 years ago, PCP basically said use it or lose it. Didn't want to lose it so that's when we started weekly date night. DH was hesitant at first and so was I but a margarita (or two) helped break the ice. It's better now than it ever was, sweeter too. Life is hard and we should take our pleasures when we can.
Oh and it's a hoot to see the "OMG granny's having sex" look cross the 20-YO cashier's face when I buy KY LOL.
0 -
Tang, There's a whole thread about this. It's called 'I want my MOJO back' and it's in the moving on after cancer group. Almost to the end of the topics when you go to all topics.
0 -
Ah Badger! Great advice! Yes, KY is good.... So is just plain old Vaseline....
Try buying a pack of rubbers.... and see the looks on their faces.... Or even the pregnancy kit! Ha, ha! Take those purchases to the cutest guy in the store! Just wink at him..... then take his picture, and post it here!
0 -
Printery - bahahaha! And rofl, Cammi!
Sassy WTH did you say? I read it 6 times and now my brain slammed up against the wall. Do I need wine to understand?
0 -
Phylli! No, it's okay.... sometimes we don't know, and we don't care... Same with the rest of us!
Yes.... you need more wine!See I asked her "how old IS this Dude..." And so she said he was 20 years younger than her... or something close....
Geez Teka.... bout TIME! Glad you are better... did you get into Sassy's wine?
0 -
0
