INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
Comments
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Squishy L&H&P's sassy
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Vinnie,
It is sad that not everyone can get the same treatments or same nice recon results. There seems to be no rhyme or reason why either.
Bless you for caring so much and for helping to make the best out of shitty situations!
Sleep tight because tomorrow you are going to make another group of women feel better about themselves and just a little more whole.
Editing to say....if it were me, I would appreciate your input on recon if you saw something that could be fixed. I don't offend easily but I know many are very sensitive which puts you in a bad place as to how to approach saying something. But since you see so very many different recons, I think most would appreciate knowing it something else could be done. Maybe you could gently approach it through pics of your tattoos and get them asking questions or pointing subtle things out to them?
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Just wanting you to know I'm here. I'm pleased to hear from Nicky, that Bluebird is back and Sas is healing.
I'm tired, I hurt. It makes me worry and is getting me down. Recent events have added stress to my life.
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L&H&P's sassy
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Oh, Vinnie - you, of all people, must see the best and the worst of recons. I know how hard it is to see a botched recon job and try to say something positive.
But here's the deal: You are there to give back what cancer took away - nipples and areolas. You can take a huge amount of pride in the fact that this is monumental. You are an answer to so many women's prayers!
As for botched recon jobs, I would imagine that there would be ways to do revisions without destroying your artwork... (although personally, I would liken it to slicing an original Renoir down the middle and stapling it back together!)
I've pondered this question myself. If I ever DID have a revision, could it be done through an IMF incision, leaving the breast mound intact? Something I'll have to research....
Perhaps if you have this discussion with some of the Plastic Surgeons you work with, you may come away with a better understanding of just what is possible in the realm of reconstructed breasts, and what your best course of action would be if the subject of revision comes up. Do you initiate it? Does your client? At that point, where do you go?
I want to believe a beautiful outcome is possible for every woman, but sometimes, good enough is just that - good enough.
If you are otherwise healthy, pain-free, or even cancer-free, then the 3D tatts will make you fly, regardless of what the tatas look like.
God bless you, Vinnie, for your skilled hands and your caring heart.
SO looking forward to meeting you!!!
p.s. Playing the videotape of your life on the ceiling never helped anyone get to sleep. If you must agonize about your day, at least jot some words down in a journal, then put it away. Once you have committed your words to paper, the brain can stop chewing on them.
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Blessing...Thank you for your kind words about what I do... it is very close to my heart! And yes I do see the best and the worst of the recons of the world... and I am ... in fact going to lecture at Georgetown and Johns Hopkins .... one this month and one very soon about what is being done and what could be done better. I am looking at things with an artistic eye... with extreme scrutiny ... and I see what is obviously not right and what should be corrected or changed. The problem is that getting PS to listen to me will be very hard and egos will get in the way. I am only a tattoo artist in the end and most will not take what I say with much credence. It drives me crazy when the results I see I know can be better... I am just handcuffed in getting things to change.
You are correct in that IMF incisions and vertical incisions are getting better results... more realistic and natural recons but how do I convince the PS world at large that is is a better way...? I understand that not every MX can be done this way but many can. How does one get the point across that the way they teach MX surgery is not so "by the book" and can be done in a way that gets better results and still saves lives with better aesthetics. It is very frustrating.
Is nipple recon really needed? If one wants their nipples protruding 24/7 then that is great... if your PS can make that happen evenly ... or asymmetrically... problem is most of the time that does not happen. The good PS of the world can get these results but many cannot. So what then... what does one do... when the 800 lb gorilla of cancer is on your back and you want to trust your PS. I don't know... it is just a tough way to go when I am looking at things after they are done and there is not much I can do to change things... ...
so I will try to go to sleep now and ponder what is to be done or what I or we can do to change things... its a big undertaking a huge job... how do I/we move foreword with this?
I entertain everyones thoughts as I attempt to go to sleep.......talk to you all in the morning... or today... or soon... or whenever I wake up .. I still have to be ready to tattoo in 7 hours... Night all...... sleep tight...... V
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Hi Owlettes, just checking in. Thanks for your helpful suggestions, Blessings, will be glad when it's all over by tomorrow afternoon. Told DH and DD they had to figure out dinner, I wasn't cooking if I couldn't eat. So far, haven't freaked out and required a Xanax, we'll when I wake up in less than 5 hours. Golly joy in the am!
Bluebird and Nicky, does it help to use all upper case and/or make the letters in bold? If it helps, will do.
Nighty night, all!
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Well, I tried to post this cute picture of a little pig in a sweater & leg-warmers! At first it posted, and then POOF, it was gone.... so never-mind...0 -
Aw geez, Vinnie sounds like a totally normal caring guy!
Vinnie, for those you've seen, that haven't had the best re-construction, is there someone or somewhere that you know of that could possible help these gals? Maybe they just don't KNOW that their surgery could have been better? And if there is some way to have it done a little better?
Or maybe you could casually show them other tats that you have done on different women with a more pleasing outcome?
Thank you for posting again... Just don't think about "stuff" at night... I do that too, and it just keeps you awake...
Smaarty, that was beautiful! A beautiful Rose, and her "bud"...
Sassy... I know what you mean about the ear infections! It seems once they have them, they will come back again.... Just try and stay on top of it.... and clean them out with a damp like baby-wipe, and a little peroxide-alcohol sprayed on it... I know, it IS gross!
Squishy..... Little honey, I had no idea.... I'm so sorry, but amazed by how you handle all this "stuff" going on with you.... When I read your post, I cried, because I whined when I BROKE my hip... and here you are going to GET a new leg....... When I started reading your post, I wanted you to say, "just kidding"....... but you didn't! I promise I will count all my blessings..... (with our "Blessings" everyday!
Yes, I want you to RUN with your grand-daughters! And "run" to catch a fire-fly.... and just RUN.... just because you CAN.... We will all run WITH you! xoxoxoxo
Littledutch! We are here for you kiddo.... sometimes just come back here and write down stuff that drives you nuts.... I used to be told that, and then to tear it up and throw it away, because then it helps your brain either forget about it, or maybe deal with it. We've all got big shoulders....
Wow Blessings.... That was beautiful, what you said to Vinnie.... I hope we can "keep him around" to help all the gals on here! Maybe he can do referrals for someone closer to their area? Or since he is just "this kind of guy" it would be worth it, to GO see him!
Maddy..... thinking of you..... .... Wishing you all a beautiful day....
xoxoxoxoo
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Squishy praying for the best for u'r new leg---and now they are supposed to be even better and u deserve to have the best.
Maddy we're here and this afternoon will be here before u know it.
Vinnie just reading what u are saying u'r artistic soul comes out--how thoughtful u are for anyone who goes to u--and like I said I have read about u for a while now so everyone must think so.
Chevy how's things going today--has all u'r snow melted?m ours has- I can't believe it--we were loaded just last week and it hasn't been that warm, but the sun is closer now so it melted it.
I'm not keepin up with all my posting lately, some is my work and some is my laziness but I'm always thinking about u all.
Last nite I woke up during the nite, did go back to sleep but first time in a while I had to take a pain pill during the nite--don' like that. Now I'm tired so I'll probably be busy today and have to talk--I hate to when I don't feel like it. LOL
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Awww Chevy you made me cry.. I have not heard you whine.. Hey a broken hip hurts and all the healing that goes with it. I don't normally talk about myself but Sas asked me for an update and I guess I was in a chatty mood last night. 😊I just get up each day and am thankful for another day here that I can spend doing something I enjoy or spending time with my granddaughters (like today). You all have a wonderful day.. I am going to. It is what my Mom would have wanted......
Cindy AKA Squishy
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Cammi, I think we have to behave for awhile, I mean with a guy here and all....
I mean we have to give him our best impressions, right? We have to act lady-like and stuff I think.... what-ever that is. You don't sound like yourself.... I know it's the pain, and maybe the pill.... Just crawl back in bed, get Katie-kat and Joey, and get some more sleep...
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Chevy stop reading my whole body and mind now. And wait a minute The gentleman u speak of is working on boobs a lot, how behaved do we have to be--I'm sure by now he's heard it all and if he hasn't he can learn from you--you're the one with the checkered past and present and u keep on going--not me, remember I went to a Catholic school.
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Yes, I heard about you Catholic girls...Ha! My friend Anna always went to confession, and then after that, you guys can do ANYthing you want...ha! As long as you confessed, then you were free and clear to do it again.... See, we have to behave, because this guy is legit.... not like the guys we used to know....
I used to LOVE going to church with her! It was so beautiful and mystifying, like GOD was just THERE..... And I was intimadated and scared shitless!
But then we got older, and used to ditch church, and go to this little cafe and drink coffee, and feel like little rebels!
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Oh wait Squishy..... I know little honey..... It's so hard to lose your Mom..... I know.... But still, all these years later, I almost "feel" her with me.... I think they are our guardian angels....
See, I THINK, that my Mom and Dad, were both watching over me, when I fell (off that pole) and they "helped" lift me up, so my Husband could hold me, until our neighbor got that wheel-chair, and got me back home, into my car, and to the hospital! Guess we have to have those beautiful thoughts in our life.... it helps us go on.... and I think they give us strength..... it's like move forward, and don't think about the past..... xoxoxoxo
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Oh I knew it u would do that----well going to Catholic school part of the day started with a mass so everyone was there and On Sunday if u didn't go u couldn't go out for the day according to the church---But my Dad was an atheist so he didn't care and my mom never said one way or another cuz she didn't go to church at all then. I don't know why we all went to Catholic schools actually when no one practiced it--oh except for Fridays those days we didn't eat meat, but my Dad did and he's always say they're going to change that cuz it was made for the poor fishermen in those times, u'll see. Yep we saw. I think they did it for the Catholic guilt thing it made it easier for parenting.
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Vinnie, would love to chime in more about your ponderings. Brain getting better everyday (one a week ago had emergency brain tumor removed after being told I was clear and fine for more reconstruction)
If you have time to read some of my history/ misfortunes with plastic surgeons, long story short went to top doc in Philly and now have two disastrous recons. My one hope left is to have tats done eventually to take the emphasis off my hideous scaring, radiation burns, and failed flap necrosis. I will never be a beautiful or even remotely ever look good but have been trying very hard to work on my beauty "inside". Then Mr. BrainTumor popped up, so just goes to show beauty is not just skin deep. Ugliness is a threat both inside and out, but there are levels of "ugly".
Sorry for the long post. I just want to add that through my process, I am well aware of what people think when they see my reconstruction. They don't have to say a word. The sideways glances and covered emotions says it all. And I also imagine in this litigious society everyone is afraid to say much.
You have a true calling and have been guided in ways you will never know. Giving women hope is power.
Will write more later. Off to my one week followup!
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BlueBird,
So good to hear such strong chirping form you!! Good luck with your appt. today. You have me wondering who did your DIEP. A lady on another thread had a top PS in Philly and has been through hell too? Ugly infections, bad attitude from him, complete arrogance, etc...
And you ARE beautiful from the inside!
Vinnie! I believe it is Dr. Semele in Toronto that has an art degree before his PS degree. Maybe now you need your MD!! You are such a sweet soul. I know what you see weighs heavily because your heart is in this for the right reason. So many others are in it for the wrong reasons. Focus on all the relief and peace you give these women. I also know your lectures WILL make a difference in time.
Chevy and Cami, I don't for a minute think you will change your wild ways because there is a guy here now! If anything I see you both breaking out the fancy shoes (careful Chevy!), the fancy clothes and the new lipstick! And getting some Brasso to polish the pole!
Cami, hope you get to feeling better. You are such a trooper. Good luck with your onc appt tomorrow. We will be waiting for good news!
Squishy, good luck with that leg! Chevy does wine, but we just let it in one ear and out the other. Then she has a chocolate coke or one of those amaretto OJ things and it's all fine. I think she is having chicken withdrawal. We haven't heard about the crazy neighbors or the hens for a while!
Chevy, how goes the car buying! Mine is in the shop today and is very sick. I think I may need to stand by DH with the shock paddles when they call to tell us what it will cost to fix it. I may be car shopping this weekend too. My truck isn't as old as you, oops, I mean as old as your car, but it has not held up as well as I think it should have. It only has 115,000 miles, it's practically a baby at 10 years old!
Dutch, hang in there! Big hugs! Seems like I'm always operating on the two-steps forward, three steps back program too :0(
I know I'm missing a bunch but if I go back a page my post might poof away on me!
Have a great day ladies!
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vinnie-I just read your post and I wish my PS had been as thoughtful and caring as you obviously are! I can only imagine how difficult that is for you to see daily and I wouldn't know how to handle the "bad recons" either. I personally have put my recon on the back burner after my failed TE's.
Good luck to you Vinnie, keep fighting the good fight!!
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Happy St. Joseph's day.
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Vinnie - thank-you for posting. I've never met you, though in the beginning, I had planned on going east to have you do my tattoos, in the end, I just went to my PS office and had them done. I do regret that choice at times, but at that time, I just wanted everything to be OVER!! My PS wanted to do more, but I was oh so very done. It could be that some of the women you see who have less than perfect recons are in that same mindset. Now, I have a couple questions to ask, if you don't mind...
First, what is IMF? Second, if a vertical cut is made, rather than horizontal, how is the outcome improved? And thirdly, IF one has already had tattoos, are you ever able to do additional work on them?
Thank-you. I've seen your work on-line and you are a master!! I thank-you from the bottom of my heart for all of the women you have helped.
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gardengumby...
The IMF is the Inframammary Fold... the crease created at the bottom most portion of the breast. As far as the incision... horizontal vs vertical. If you can imagine a circle shaped piece of paper and you cut a wedge out of it starting in the center of the circle. Then bring the cut edges together you create a cone shape. A similar thing can occur with taking a wedge shape out of the breast starting above the nipple... thus creating a conical shape breast. A horizontal incision across the breast gives the reconstructed breast a flat shape and flat frontal surface. The horizontal incision looks like a breast lift scar pattern. Not every MX can use a vertical incision pattern because of where the cancer is or the position of the nipple areola complex on the breast. BUt some can use the vert pattern but most PS do not do it... I think because they are taught to use the horizontal pattern. At least this is what I have come to believe is the reason and my take on the incision patterns.
And yes I do redo's of tattoos all the time because most of the time the tattoos done at PS offices or hospitals are done very poorly because of lack of consistent and accurate training. But I can more often than not make the poorly done tattoos look very good if the first attempt is not done too dark or with too much scarring.
Hope this helps answer your questions...V
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Vinnie..... I just want to thank you for answering these gals questions..... You can give them hope.... they have already gone through so much...... Thank you....
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very Cool!!0 -
sorry guys in my last post I wrote that the horizontal incision looks like a breast lift scar pattern and I meant a vertical incision has a similar look to a lift scar pattern... WOW... no sleep makes me think funky and type even worse. I just hope I don't put a nipple on someones forehead or something with my insomnia problems...lol.
Was a good day today... got to tattoo a famous lady (big time world news reporter) it was awesome sharing stories... hers were way cooler than mine... damn! Tattooed a mom of four small kids 34yo... a Grandmom with 22 grandchildren... a 25 yo prophylactic BMX with fantastic results (lucky girl in that regard anyway)... Also a published best selling author .... Another was a lady that came in with her husband who wanted her to get big baloney slice sized areolas... she wanted small. Why is it that men like big areolas and the women usually want small ones... its just like when male PS think implant recons should be bigger and female PS like to do, or don't mind, going smaller... crazy... but true. The last lady of the day was a psychologist from Mexico City... very cool lady who is going to help me line up clients for my trip to Mexico City to tattoo poor ladies who cannot afford recon so I will just do nips without it... and tattoo them for free. We are planning the trip for this fall or early winter... can't wait for that one.
Anyway it was a good day filled with great conversation and mostly good reckons. The variety of clients that are SSSOOOO different from the usual tattoo clientele makes the day go by at a good pace and make it really fun... what a great job!
Hoping for a restful night ... we will see....
V
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Oh Vinnie how wonderful that's u are making plans to help all these women who can't afford this--They'll be so thankful U'r a good soul.
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There's a hundred bluebirds
Up above the clouds
Putting all the color in the sky
http://www.jango.com/music/Gillian+Welch?l=0
BLUEBIRD, THERE ARE VERY FEW PEOPLE I KNOW WHO WOULD HAVE THE PRESENCE OF MIND TO MAKE SURE TO LEAVE CAMI IN THE CAR AS THEY GO INTO BRAIN SURGERY.. SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO REHOME SOME OF YOUR ANIMALS.. ANY POSSIBILITY YOU CAN JUST SEND THEM OUT FOR EXTENDED SLEEP OVERS?
MANY HUGS.
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Vinnie,
(I guess we'd call you an 'owllie' instead of an an owlette). I am guessing that as much as anything else, women respond to the fact that you consider their feelings, their lives, their beauty, as important - as much as they do to your artwork. We all need people who care & you're doing that for a tremendous number of people. I'm sure that that caring leads you to make the right decisions as to what to say to people. Put that together with a well practiced talent? God bless. (don't say it, Chevster).
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Chevianna in church before sneaking out for 'coffee' (which, of course is a euphemism for 'shots of tequila til you swallow the worm and pass out in the back of the 57 chev ). You were once awfully cute Chevster. :
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Bluebird...
Sorry to hear about the tumor but glad you are feeling better and take the time to write me a post. It is funny how everyone sees the top doc by the sound of it every PS is the best in the field! How in the hell does that happen. So many times every week I here " I got the top guy in my city but this is what I got..." How can everybody be the best... somebody has to suck and there are quite a few out there but who would say " well I'm not the best... if you want the top doc go down the street to Super Doc MD and he will do it right." ... so they label themselves the top in their field and one gets what one gets... unfortunately it is the ladies I see.
There are super docs out there... caring talented folks but they are not the ones labeling themselves "the best" they just go about their biz and do it well .... results speak for themselves. I work closely with some of these people and they don't talk a big game but they do perform well!
But back to you... one of my favorite sayings is..." a really good tattoo can make a bad reconstruction look better and a bad tattoo can destroy the looks of a really good reconstruction!" I am also very convinced that when you have something other than scars to look at you eyes are distracted from them... so once the tattoos are on you your eyes go right to the tattooed nipples and away from the scars. It REALLY helps make things look ssoo much better. I really hope one day, when you are all ready to do the tatts, I can whip you up a pair of cherries that will top off your cupcakes and make them look all that much better... and the feelings that go with them. Get better and one day soon I will stick some pins in you..... wow that didn't sound good... I mean I will tattoo you...lol.
v
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Happy St. Joseph's day.