INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
Comments
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Tang WTF kind of week-end did u have--toilet sitting. Oh that's horrible--and then the ER-Jeez---U sound better now and hope u are.
Dutch we look like we're having a blizzard with about an inch of snow so far??? We were just sitting on our deck Sat. with no jackets so winter is back for a while.
Chevy did u'r DH go back to the Dr.?
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I know this is off subject of anything here, but these boards are making me paranoid tonight. It seems for some reason all the ladies with early stage, no node involvement that ended up with mets are just jumping out at me.
Not sure why that is what has caught me eye tonight but it is freaking me out. Seems there are quite a few and now I wonder if I'm next with all this back pain.
Sorry to be a downer. It's just where I am tonight.
Somebody throw me a line, I'm sinking.
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Haven't caught up yet...
Nettie, sent you a PM, here if you need me, sweetie, I SO understand the paranoia feeling at times.
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ok, the line has been tossed, grab it & hang on....lets take a break from the computer, hot bath, hot tea, maybe look at a magazine or mindless TV.
I need my own advice, but it is a slow acceptance of our new normal...
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Nettie - I am so sorry you are facing the scary times. Here are a few of my rambling thoughts on that....
We have all known and grown to love Sistahs who were thought to be early stage and then progressed to Stage IV.
We've all known and grown to love Sistahs who were dx'd Stage IV from the get-go.
We've all known and loved and lost Sistahs who are no longer with us due to this crappy $(@#ing disease.
The reality is that most cancer is a crap shoot. There is nothing that we can do or not do to completely prevent us from getting it, nor is there anything we can do or not do to completely keep it from recurring, unless you include treatment options. We have to do the best we can based on what we know.
My risk of recurrence is less than 1%. Yet there may come a day when I, too, join the Stage IV forums. I have known that was a reality since the day I was diagnosed. Yet in my world, there is a 99% chance, "statistically speaking", that I WON'T progress or have a recurrence. But we are not statistics.
Sometimes it's a matter of what we choose to believe. I choose to believe that they got all the cancer out the day of my BMX, and today, at least, I am cancer-free.
What's ironic is the fact that I am always the one who is driving, sees smoke in the distance, and is sure that it's MY house that's on fire.
I choose to believe that Stage IV Sistahs will find treatment options that will give them relief and a quality of life that they can enjoy for as long as they walk this earth.
I choose to believe that one day - maybe in the not-too-distant-future - that there will be a CURE, if not a means of PREVENTION for this crappy $(@#ing disease.
I choose to believe that one day, I will die peacefully of old age, having lived a meaningful life. In fact, that is my hope for all my Sistahs here.
I have to admit: I've faced a lot of pain, but not a lot of fear. My faith gives me tremendous peace in those dark times. It's not something I talk about a lot, but it is the one thing that sustains me through it all.
Sending you big hugs, Nettie!
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Chevy, beautiful home!
T&C, thanks for sharing photos of your gorgeous family.
Nettie, what's happening? Concerned for you!
No pictures from Sassywhoshares, Phyllissohappytoshare and Spookiesmom, hoping we get to see photos before too long! There's got to be some good stories happening, share!
FBB, you photos and story remind me of the ShawShank Redemption, one of my favorite movies. Glad you are out of that place!
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lovemegoats and Camillegal glad u liked the pic
it feels so good to be in our new home and bed!! Austin is our everything such an amazing gift from God. Ugh so blessed he is out angel that gets my husband and I through this! Blessings I loved every bit of what you wrote. Thank u I know it was for Nettie but I really needed to hear that too...
Nettie I am so glad u vented to us and let out some of your fears. We all think about that every second. I think with time I hope to worry about it less as time goes by. As we all do I worry every time I look into my 2 year old sons eyes and worry I won't see him launch. But all I can do is pray... Pray that I will live a long life and grow old with my husband. The strong side of me says we all breast cancer or not are only promised today. So we need to live each day each moment as if it were our last. I wish I could take this horrible disease away... I pray for your comfort and please please continue to vent. Holding it in is toxic. This tread is exactly for this reason. Sass and all of these amazing fighters have helped me each step of the way. I was scared out of my mind last year they helped me catch my breathe and put one foot in front of another. You make sure your oncologist listens to any and all symptoms you have and get them checked out. The only way you will know. If he/she doesn't listen find someone who will.
Hugs,
SweetPea xoxoxo
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Sorry, didn't get to complete what I wanted to write.
Blessings, thank you so much for articulating our greatest fear(s) - something I know I try not to think about every day or allow myself to be consumed by.
SweetPea/Sweet Stacey, LISTEN UP: I do know what it's like having a young one who, at times, you fear you might never see grow up. Been there. DD wasn't quite 3 at time of dx, is 20 now. Yes, there are times I wonder if I'll see her get married, or see grandkids (DS isn't going to have kids, that's another issue) but I have faith that my chances are just as good as anyone else: I won't know till I know so I have to enjoy every day as best I can. And yes, BC, will change our kids, but that isn't necessary a bad thing either. Our kids will learn lessons that other kids don't. I know I'll bore others who have heard this before, but BC became a big focus for DD. From science projects, writing a book on BC and now it's influencing her career choice. But then again, it's the same with other influencing factors in our kids' lives (those that are in military families, face alcoholism, abuse, other challenges, other death....). When I would go off the dead end, I learned to reel myself back in and make me want to fight that much harder.
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LMG's lisinopril's on my NO list--LOL caused cough that caused retching>>>vomiting----not a go to drug for me
SweetPea miss you too! Austin is Beautiful.We'll have a coffee chat next week after Phil leaves. PROMISE.------a first house you had built----rare sweetie......what you'e been through
Chevy, the scarves came ---they are devine-------your skilll---amazingThe troll that kept the first sending----let a thousand fleas infest their armpits.
Nettie Philly and Spookie are here--------rare to have long visits with sisters this is special. usually their luncheons
Off Philly just woke up
L&H&P's sassy0 -
Did anyone watch the lunar eclipse ("Blood Moon") tonight?
Should be starting in an hour and a half (midnight) here in Cali....
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Chevy, apparently there are three classic positions for yoga. I perfer posittion #1 #1 3
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Thanks Blessings, I thought I missed it. Need to check it out.
Sassy, enjoy your time with Phyllisissnoring and Spookiesmom. Reminder to please post photo of said scarves.
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Vinnie, where are you?
Till then, sharing Lala1's post:
http://www.vice.com/read/breast-cancer-survivors-find-the-michelangelo-of-nipple-tattoos
quiet night tonight.
Blessings just coming inside from checking the moon, doesn't look red at all, looks white to me.
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lost my post - don't have a clue how i managed that.... anyway, just checking-in. saw my pcp today - got an injection in my right knee & had immediate pain-relief!! smile smile smile - one of those "didn't realize how much it hurt until it stopped".... got pain pills after filling a 3-page questionaire, got antibiotics for my (reoccurring much too often) uti, upped my gabapentin to 3 a night. the rest of the day was pretty darn good for a change. we're planning on dinner at a near-by casino soon to celebrate dd's 15-year NED !!!!!! love & hugs to all you owlettes.
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phylloISNTsnoring, I do. And talk and sing in my sleep. I told her!!! Sas and I were up waaaay too late, was a fun day. Went to the Wildlife Preserve, the manatees were in. Never seen them in nature before.
If you look above the log you can see one under water, then a tail fin next to shore.
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Good morning gals! A friend sent me this, and it is just the SWEETest thing!
http://funnycatsgallery.com/mom-cat/the-cat-and-the-ducklings/
Saw the pictures of your family on the last page Nettie! SOOooo cute! I mean the kids.... but okay, your DH is alright too, maybe. If he behaves.
Yes Cammi! I loved little dresses and little girls too! I used to make our Daughters flannel nightgowns, when they were babies, and made a few, with embroidery, that said "baby" because I didn't know what I was having, Ha!
I even made some of their first dresses.... And they always matched. Along with mine! Ha, ha! We used to do that in those days...
It saved a lot of money....! I even knitted DH a sweater once, but had to give it away, because it SOMEhow came out wrong, with arms so long they almost hung to the floor!
Morning Blondie and Lilgoats! Lilgoats, yes, when I was helped off that horse, I walked like I was RIDING a horse for DAYS! I had blisters between my legs! And it wasn't FUNNY, either...Ha!
Yes.... Yoga.... I'm lucky to bend over and touch the floor! And it is really a chore to try and get up if you somehow find yourself in the middle of a room on your butt! I mean without anything to hang onto to try and get back up! I found this "kneeling garden bench".... It is the BEST thing since popped corn! And you can turn it over to sit on, when you need a rest! I use it for my gardening, or in the house to clean out bottom cupboards....
,"http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/718Tb3hMpNL._SX466_.jpg":[466,341],"http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/718Tb3hMpNL._SX522_.jpg":[522,382],"http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/718Tb3hMpNL._SX355_.jpg":[355,260],"http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/718Tb3hMpNL._SX425_.jpg":[425,311]}' data-old-hires="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/718Tb3hMpNL._SL1500_.jpg" p="" ]<="" unselectable="on">And so TANG! WHAT happened????
You two had to do a "together" thing? That's just awful! You have to meet someplace else, instead of the ER!
Thanks GGH! Yes, I love this house... We've been here 50 years, this year! And it's just the way we like it, and lots of garden space, for me to fool around in.
Dutchess, I am so sick of snow, I could just scream! It's nice for a few days, then it snows again! And not enough to help, with the water. Glad your MRI came back clean... Sorry you hurt! Will they do a cat-scan or something else? Is it a pinched nerve.... your sciatic nerve? Or maybe your .... I don't know anything about pelvis stuff.... actually.
So nevermind.
Morning Fierce! Okay you can come live here...
We just KNOW that when we ever have to move, they will scrape this house, and build some type of town-homes, because there is a lot of property here... And those property values have sky-rocketed since "West Highlands" became popular with the "younger" people... We are close to down-town Denver, the mountains, and nice little shopping areas within walking distance.... I sound like a realtor... "And then you have schools close-by for your children"..... blah blah. "And all the amenities of suburban living"....or is it urban? I have a ditch close-by, so it is both.
No Cammi, DH won't go back to Doctors, until he would ever give up trying to determine what it is himself, which is not in this life-time.
I think he does toooo much walking... just even around the store. So I must tie-him down... (where ARE those hand-cuffs) and keep him home.
Lilgoats, It isn't Plantars Fasciitis, because I had that once.... for months! And it was on the bottom of my foot... I first thought it was a bone spur... but after using a "night-splint", custom inserts, and finally cortisone shots, it went away! His pain is on the back of his heel, on the bottom of his leg, where the Achilles meets the whatever.... she said.
It IS better, but he also twisted it, walking into the garage, and falling against the door, because he will NOT use a cane, or crutches like any sensible person would, with this injury! He uses a walker sometimes in the house, when it hurts too much... so we'll see...
I told him "If this was ME, with your pain, I would either stay DOWN for more than a few days, or go back and see a specialist, and get a professional opinion as what is REALLY wrong here...! But what do I know?
Nettie, just quit reading stuff... We all get scared.... but every day is different.... Blessings said it all.... And I need to pay attention too!
Mine isn't so much my cancer stuff, which was over 4 1/2 years ago, it is everything ELSE that goes wrong...Ha! Wait, I need to refill my coffee cup............ So anyway.... another hug for you! (((Nettie)))
Thanks 2ndTime! Yes, we need pictures of those 3! Spookie must be the official picture taker! They are in Florida, for Gods Sakes! Where EVERYthing grows and thrives, and swims or flys! (I just made that up)
So they ALWAYS have something to take pictures of... But we WANT to see what those wild and crazy women look like during their adventures!
SweetPea, you sound so happy! Did you post a picture of your new home? I forgot! Are you still in Centennial?
Okay Sass! Which one is it?
Forget it.... I don't think those pertain to me.....
Maybe this one...
Here ya go....!
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Thanks
everyone for the encouragement! I made it through the night by just
putting the phone down! It just overwhelms me sometimes when I read how
some with early stage, no nodes end up with stage 4. I guess this is
bothering me more right now because of the pain in my back!However,
I slept like a baby until DH phone went off at 4 am with a text message from
one of his employees! UGH!! But hey, I'll take what I can get and
other than the back pain, I'm feeling pretty good this morning!I did
read through everything and it really helped me!Blessings
that was an awesome post, and in my mind I know what you say is correct and
most days I live by those same rules and thoughts and I do draw from my
faith! It got me through treatment like
a breeze! I mean really, I had an easy
time with treatment. It’s all this “junk”
going on now that I’m ready to be done with!
I think if I could start having days when the pains never showed their
ugly head, I would be better mentally!
But I’m a trooper and I’ll get through!
And like I’ve mentioned before, I personally have known quite a few
ladies with this ugly crap and none of them have the same story! And I also think there is an equal amount of
survivors to succumbers! So I understand
it’s a crap shoot and only God knows when our time is done!Holeinone
thanks for the line!! I know you all
know how much it means to know there is a place where we are actually
understood and sometimes that is enough to get me through!Sas, I
think it’s awesome that you have two sisters actually visiting with you! That has to be awesome!Chevy,
I loved the video! Of course, I love any
and everything animals!If I
missed anyone, it is not intentional! I
thank each of you for caring!0 -
For all you coffee drinkers!
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OK Smaarty that looks like enough--thank you
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OMG I think I read everyone but fell back to sleep--WTF when I sleep I really sleep. I refreshed my memory but that doesn't count for much.
Nettie I'm glad u'r in a better place right now--that always nice.
Chevy u seem to be in the same place, but it's not horrible just not nice.
I'm too confused right now to answer everyone---BUT I see now pics of the 3 Nuttos anywhere, do we really want to looks for a bug? Still waiting!!!! We got more snow, it's meltin now but still cold so we would appreciate some beauty in our pictures---like u too.
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Starting reading the posts and had to leave due to crying.
Decided to peek back in to see if everyone had moved on and Smaarty your coffee picture got me laughing. Thank you.
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F.BlueBird, don't cry...watch the cute video of the cat & ducklings ( link from Chevy ) it's heartwarming & I love the accent of the couple. are you feeling any better? When do you go back to discuss the radiation?
I am having a lazy day, again ! I am getting a Zometa infusion on Thursday & I think I am getting worked up over it....silly, I know. It cannot be as bad as the red devil. I have stuff to attend on Fri.& Sat. And I am afraid it is going to make me sick! Oh well, I pushed for it...
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Ok. This is the THIRD time I've tried to post this. I'm gonna start screaming if it doesn't load!!!!!
I'm on the left, Sas is in the middle Phyllo on right.
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four anyone? $&#%££¥
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Woohoo! They sent pictures! See Cami! Very nice ladies. Good to see you and hear from you as always. I hope you all are having a great time.
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FBB - Do not be sad, come stay with me and chevy in the doghouse! We have big fun. Chevy cooks lots of things with beans and we both dig in the dirt a lot The other night I was doing some redecorating and cleaning up (the last occupants let the place a mess) and Chevy was doing some old lady exercises on this pole? And she came flying around and startled me and I dropped the tv set on my finger and now it's broken. But I forgive Chevy 'cause.. well she's Chevy so what an you expect?
Ha! Stpid finger, who needs you anyway.
Seriously you escapee you we can hide you for sure. Undisclosed location? I defy anybody to find us here. I am SO impressed by your fierce moxy and SO glad for you that they don't have to do that WBR stuff.
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YOWSERS!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, you DID it Spookie! I LOVE you gals! So nice to add faces to our invisible friends! I just KNOW you are all having a good time! Phylli! How tall are you guys? Am I the only one that is not normal ? I'm just 5'1..... and the runt of the litter!
Little Spookie, your dog is still right side up! Yay! And Sass! So happy you got the damn scarves!
If anyone else wants one, I can either send one, or show you how to do it! They are very easy.... And you become addicted to making them! xoxoxoxo
Have fun kids!
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I must have missed something. What kind of scarves and how are they made?
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LOve the three cray-cray ladies! I wish we were all there with you. Peace Love & Casa = perfectness. I don't have to hope you are having a wonderful time - cause we all know with the 3 of you there that's a given.
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OMG! You took a picture of that deformed finger among the Daffodils? Good Lord, what did you DO? You mean I was the fault of that ... that whatever it is? You look like you are trying to grow another finger on there! See, I heard if you get a hard book, and smack it down on top of that lump, it would go away!!!
Or is that for something else.... ? I guess you could TRY it anyway.... No, don't go to Docs.... they might just FIX that damn thing..... eeeeeks! I'm actually very sorry.... MAN, it looks like it hurts.... Try mercurochrome, or something like that... Maybe preparation H? Something for swelling.... Maybe stick it in the freezer for a good while!
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