Single life after a mastectomy
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hi ladies!! we have a snow day today....rather stay home with a hot cup of tea sitting next to a fire place (not that i have one lol)..
about the stress....the book (anticancer) has very good explanation. it's not really the stress itself it's the hopelessness that not prompting the immune system to work it's best. that's why it's very important to have friends to reach out to.
i hate biannual checkups....i don't even like the dental check ups. ugh......
jazzy - i am so excited for you.
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Just got back from two days of work meetings with new clients. I had not had an in person meeting since being diagnosed. Big step. Jazzy - you inspired me to get out of bed. can't wait to hear your report!
BB - I feel for you this week. Stacked up doctor appts is no fun. I'm still running the gauntlet too. Still mad that my pre-chemo blood draw now has to be done at a separate facility two days before infusion. Letting go of travel time, and waiting time tested my will to not harbor the negative. Trying not to count - though my mom just said that I should be adding my mileage, Rx receipts, etc. for taxes. Might likely qualify for the medical deduction this year,sad as that is.
Milky - yippie on the results!
Enerva - stay warm.
June - enjoy your snow day.
Ladies, thank you all for your support! Life - you are right! I'm glad we all like to write.😊
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well here I go on the steps siting on my newspaper since no seats available lol the history of my every day journey lol
I had another difficult day and tmw I must get to work at 6:30am due to India having a holiday and I must cover the offshore support
then I have a release that ll start at 4 that means I may not leave till 5pm oh well the over time ll be welcome but I am tired . There is a great episode tonight of grace anatomy which I do not want to miss lol Do any of you watch that show?
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Hi ladies- well I did not win today, but sort of went in to that expecting that, and am okay with it. My experience has been with this event that the women who get these awards are usually with the big orgs here in the city or within the state, and that is who won again today. Only one woman with a small biz like mine got an award, but she does venture capital work for women start ups and is a neat lady doing great work so I was very glad to see her win.
The event overall was good today, met up with some people I have been needing to connect with and also met some new people. It is more about my next work right now and I have some good traction around that so staying focused there. Important meeting tomorrow that I think will have me moving on something soon.
But funny, one thing I notice these days is that things like an award are nice to have for my professional life, but less important than they were in my earlier career. I was surprised how much I did not care either way if I won, would be nice, but what really changes with it? Nothing really. And perhaps with everything that has gone on, I know what is most important in life and am grateful more to be able to be working, out in these communities contributing as I can, etc. Two years ago I was also nominated for this same award and was in the throes of treatment and not sure there was even going to be a future, nor could I even think about going to this event. So being there today just felt good no matter what. Like I said, I think I know what is most important these days.
So onward and upward. I have an important biz meeting tomorrow and two more follow ups for new work from today too!
BB- I went and had blood work done yesterday and going to see the BS tomorrow for my rescheduled 6 month follow up. The doctor visits are always there in my life it seems.
June- thanks for the good wishes today! I am going to read that book too! Stay warm in the snow.
Enerva, Milky, Stix, Kasa, Life, and everyone else here, hope your Thursday is going well.
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jazz you won that award and more in our hearts. You inspire us every day with all you do.
I found the song and after reading the lyric it is not such a good one lol
Just waiting for the show and watching the news. I can't imagine what those folks felt in that plain this morning in Ny.
This winter is brutal.
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just watched the news and I saw an interview with a lady from England who said mean things about fat people. It's unreal that there are people today who feel the need to be mean to others.
Grace anatomy is on and it is about a big surgery. Brain tumor
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jazz - i am glad you had a good time. like E, you are a winner in our hearts.
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You guys are so sweet! Thank you for your kind words. I have been busy the rest of the day working on tax stuff (working still) and preparing for an important biz meeting tomorrow for new work.
Enerva- I think weight comments are the last form of what people perceive as acceptable discrimination. No one knows the reasons why I person may have extra weight. People really suck sometimes. I stay far away from mean people.
I am watching Grey's Anatomy too. I got hooked on it years ago when one of the originals on the show was having hallucinations of a man she had fallen in love with who died and thought she was seeing a ghost. Through her own work with the med students, she figured out she has melanoma and mets to the brain. The acting that season was incredible.
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oh jazz I have watched from the start, it a great show cuz the history changes and each character gets her/his turn to be a start I love it.
I am on a buss now heading downtown it's 6:03 should be at my desk by 6:30 am it was not easy getting up but the thought that this is the last cold day and it's Friday got me up.I try to smile and be all about happiness on Friday. Lol today-17 but tmw +1 and every day a digit up.
Sending you all an amazing lovely weekend
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Enerva- did I read that right? Negative 17 degrees where you are? I would not be able to breathe with air that cold. I hope the cold moves away.
We need spring time and a ride on the bike!
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Thanks BB, it was a good day yesterday and even better one today (think I found my new work.....)
Going to the BS this afternoon for my rescheduled 6 month check up. Not expecting anything from this visit, but do need to talk to the biz office about some claim issues from something long ago with my initial treatment. I already gave them the heads up I needed to talk to them after my apt today.
Hope everyone is having a good end to the week and that the snow has moved off shore in New England.....
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hi finally is over this week was so hard lol
Jazz yes you read it right minus seventeen and with the wind chill it felt like -20 but the good news is that over night it's supposed to warm up and Saturday we should see 0 or even 1 hahahhahaha we are so excited about that lol so funny here in Canada we get all happy about 0 temperatures lol we endure months of -20 -15 -30 it's brutal.
Anyway lots happened at work long history short I will have to login Saturday night or Sunday to validate reports but it's ok it does not bother me cuz I need the money so if I log in for one or two hours I ll get pay for it this time I was requested to so it means I get pay.
Other times if I log in voluntarily then they don't pay me
At least I am home now i did my exercises and I am all warm in my bed now lol
I must admit the exercises are not easy but it does makes me feel way better overall.
I want to share a picture of my nephew lol he is doing some TV commercials back home. Cute kid my youngest nephew.
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Milky I hope your scan went ok I am free so if you feel like going for a walk by the lake or grabbing a tea at whole food square one.
I had to post and summit the previous post cuz somethimes I lose my post lol
About my nephew since he was born I always told my sister he was a cute blond kid and should be in TV lol well she finally allowed him to audition and got picked right away lol some agency went to schools and picked a few kids for commercials lol so funny.
Last night grace anatomy was so good. I was sad about the results of the surgery but happy at the same time she is alive
How is Bb, June, piper kasa, Tessa and the new members doing today?
I am still having very bad hot flashes at night and even through the day. Hope everyone is well and enjoying the evening.
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Enerva- glad you are home and in the warmth of your home. Good to be paid for your work! Any real estate things coming up for you?
Your nephew is a handsome young man! Does he enjoy doing the commercials? He has a great smile.
BB- thanks for the good wishes! It means a lot to me!
I went to the BS office this afternoon and it was crazy behind there, so I was there for over 2 hours for what should have been a 30 min apt, but now it's done. No issues of concern and will see her again in six months. Glad to have the rest of the follow up completed. Everything else got done in January, but this apt got pushed out because of her schedule. She seems super busy these days.
I sat next a nice woman who was doing her final follow up and thrilled to have reached her 5 year milestone. Nice to talk to someone who was there for something good for a change.
Good but tiring week and relaxing tonight with just a wee bit of chardonnay. Don't worry ladies, I know not to indulge too much.
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Well, I represented myself in court this morning. I did my best. There were a few other people defending themselves there today, too.
This was only the first hearing. That's right - the fun is just getting started... lol. And I'm in way over my head. LOL. Ironically, the outcome today was exactly what lawyers told me to expect if I hired them.
It's not as cold here as it is in Canada, but, as BB said, a snowstorm dumped around 8" of snow on us yesterday. I shoveled twice yesterday, and this morning I had a hard time clearing the ice from my car window. But somehow I got to court on time.
Jazzy - Just being nominated for an award is an honor, so congratulations again! And those kinds of events must be great for networking. As for getting to know people, I also made the decision to take my time. I don't want to complicate my life or the lives of my kids, so I intend to continue to be cautious. It's difficult at times, though, to stay vigilant, especially when we're feeling vulnerable.
Enerva - Your nephew is a handsome boy. :-) The weather where you live is so cold. Stay warm...
Milky - {{HUGS}}
June, Formydaughter, everyone - Goodnight!
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i am starting to organize my taxes papers to try and file, I am missing a form I am supposed to submit, somehow I never received the form and my friends at the real state office did get theirs.I call the government but got no answer.
I will browse in the internet to see if it is something I can download.
It looks still cold out there. Last night I watched a movie called captive. It was so interesting about a father who goes in a restaurant to grab a pie and left his daughter in the car for a few minutes, when he get out, daughter is gone she is a 9 year old kid and him an his wife finally recover her at 17 years old. Incredible.
Sad but it scares the crap out of me, that reminds me of what you ladies were talking about I think I am a big chicken I hate to meet man in the internet I am too old fashion and I lost trust in humanity. Lol I also think I always thought my ex was the guy to grow old with and I don't know if I could get that feeling again with a stranger. Talking about my ex he sent me a picture of his nieces yesterday and saying they were visiting and that he thought I would like to see how big they are now.
It still hurts that I am not part of his life anymore
but it's nice he sometimes does remembers me I guess.Anyway hope you are well.
Milky I am home let me know what are u up to.
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Life- well congrats on getting the process started and hope that the courts continue to rule in favor of your situation with the divorce. No doubt there are many needing to self-represent in this particular situation. So perhaps good to see you are not alone. The fact you don't have lawyers may show the courts you are broke, and need some $$$ out of this divorce to take care of yourself and your boys. Praying for good outcomes for you my friend. You are stronger than you know.....
Enerva- I won't do on line dating again. I did not like my experiences when I tried it awhile back. Players, lonely/depressed men, men looking for a sugar momma, men hung up on other women still. Nothing bad happened, but did not meet the kind of man I am looking for either.....
I am surprised that your ex stays in touch with you so much. Is he in another relationship now? I cannot remember if you told us that or not? I know you said he was in town recently, and you ignored his text and now sending photos. No doubt he is thinking about you. Men like the keep the door open with women from the past, just in case. They hate being alone. It sounds like hearing from him is hard on you though?
I never heard anything more from that doctor/friend I met three years ago through mutual friends in Austin. He reached out to connect on social media last fall, but then never heard anything more. I won't be surprised if he surfaces again. But he also does not live here either so I don't see anything happening there either.....
Wishing everyone a good day. Day light savings time here in the US today! Yay!
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I've been out of the dating game for a quarter of a century, so, Enerva, like you, I'm old-fashioned, too. I've looked at some of the dating websites out there, and out of curiosity, I searched a few times for profiles of men around my age. But I cannot imagine myself ever actually joining a dating website. Also, knowing what my ex did makes me wonder how many other men on dating sites are married and just looking to cheat.
Then again, there are people who've met their soulmates on dating sites, so we can never know...
Jazzy, I think you're right about men not wanting to be alone so they're keeping the door open. That makes things difficult for us women, though, to tell who's truly interested and who's just looking to string a woman along until he meets someone he really likes.
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I did online dating twice and didn't have good experience. I don't have high opinion of men at this moment of my life.
I just don't see me putting myself out there again and meeting all those assholes
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june you are right lol men are just out of my plans for now.
Well I must try to figure out taxes tomorrow I ll just look for more receipt and Monday I ll go to find the tax people to do it or I may try to file it myself but I need to figure how to combine the personal and the self employed income tax.
Good night
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hi ladies things are going ok for me. Having my last expansion next week!! will be at about 565 ccs on the right side. Two months wait until exchange surgery so the boob can settle down. How did those with expanders find the final fill? most of mine haven't been too painful (except the first one as i was nervous)
juneping i have considered online dating but the bad stories really put me off too.
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melp27, Humm expanders are a real pain. I had to keep them for 9 months due to having radiation. The last fill is just like the others so don't be worry. Smile you are almost done
with this face at least. Wish it goes well.The day is so bright today I am happy the sun is out and it makes me smile thinking spring is almost here
I want to resume my lake walks
Hope everybody is doing well.
I must find an old post in the insomnia tread, I am so lost there.
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Hi ladies- happy daylight savings to the ladies here in the US. Enerva, does Canada do that too? Maybe not yet because of your latitude. I heard someone on another thread say Europe's DLS is in a few weeks. I have been in Europe once when that changed in the fall before the US did, and then came home and it happened in the US!
Enerva- I have done work on W-2 (meaning they take out the gov taxes) but most of my work is 1099 (I pay all the stuff myself through quarterly taxes and balances at year end). My accountant has to do that for me. Might be good to get one to help you and going forward since you have the regular job and also the real estate income? Sometimes people get caught at the end of the year with self employment income which in the US, gets taxed at a higher rate. I hope you get everything figure out you need to. I am in the throes of finalizing my info to to send to my accountant this week.
And good to hear the weather is better. I remember the pics of the lake you skate and walk around. And that motorcycle too, waiting for your first ride!
With dating, on line or otherwise, I am always searching for someone who just likes me for me. Not because I can be useful to them in some way. Cynical as I am, I often see that with the men I have met. I will only meet people now through common connections and activities. Gives me more time to observe and get to know them.
I don't think on-line dating is a good place for us gals anyways. Too many unknowns and we are a bit more sensitive anyways after all we have gone through. My friends who are doing on-line dating say every man they meet is "anxious to get into a relationship right way." More like anxious to have sex right away, and offering that as what they think women want in exchange. I know more creepy stories from on line dating than good ones.
Life- I do believe there are a lot of men (and perhaps women too) that are married on those sites. I was warned about that when I did it. Having had married men hit on me through the years, I know they will avoid at all costs giving you a home phone number or ever have you come to their house. Something you may not know right away, but the way to find out is ask to pick them up at their house some time for an outing. Maybe after a few dates. I would NEVER suggest that to a woman because it is not safe for women to disclose where they live to men they don't know well, but men rarely worry about women knowing where they live UNLESS there is someone at that place they don't want you to meet.
I know you belong to a church and you may meet someone there. Good place to get to know someone through fellowship and through time.
Melp- good to hear from you and glad to hear you are continuing on with your recon. I have not done that as part of my treatment, so I will let the other ladies advise, but glad you are letting us know how you are doing.
BB- are you going to meditation tonight?
Milky- are you doing okay? How are classes going?
Kasa- you still out there?
Hope everyone has a good day!
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BB- good to hear you had good on line experiences. But sorry you are struggling......
I have done the major dating sites like Match.com and E-Harmony, but met few professional men, but that also goes with the city I live in. Not as much of that here as in the big cities. That is the other reality of where I live. I am an intellectual woman and need a man who is the same.
I have a friend who goes on Plenty o Fish and has met a lot of men that way.
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BB- I was thinking that was coming up! Let me know how it goes (PM me too). Wishing you the best with the first visit!
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BB- it will help to have a resource to help you through. Sometimes people with skills and training to help us work through the past are what we need first. Until we do, it is hard to move on. Then you will be able to move forward from where you are, of that I am sure. PM me any time, and look forward to seeing you bloom, just like the leaves in spring time.
I think Piper said her last message she was working a lot to help put some $$$ for her upcoming trip to the the New Orleans jazz festival. I have seen the line up this year and it looks very good! Have fun Piper!
Been out in the gardens pruning and clearing and making room for the things starting to green up here. My weeping cherry looks ready to pop soon. Some of the fruit trees have just started blooming this week. We have a long spring in the high desert that starts from end of February and finishes in late May.
Hope everyone is having a good Sunday....
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i had bone scan on friday .i am having problem after she injected radioactive die.having dizziness .abdominal pain and body pain .i have to see my family dr tomm .
Anybody else ever had that prob after bone scan.
Have a nice weekend.Enerva.jazzy.bb.life.Melp.Kesa
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yes, I had a hard time with the bone scan test but it lasted 48 hours I drunk lots of water n was able to feel better in 2 days. Milky hope you feel better tmw. I had to log in to work this afternoon to balance a report.I am not looking forward tmw
getting back at the routine it's always so not easy.Bb, I like jazz want to see you Blom
I must admit I am doing a lot these days but I feel I need to in order not to think of the past. Bb I feel depressed and if I think of the past I just cry.I am trying to keep busy so I don't allow the sadness in. I know it is not healthy but the spring and better weather should help me soon.
Yes piper is working a lot I remember reading that.
Good night, hope you all have sweet dreams
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Melp - I woke up from the first mastectomy with the tissue expander already filled to its fullest. I was not expecting to wake up to that - lol. My chest wall felt very tight for a few months, but eventually I felt fine. However, I've heard that filling the TE gradually is much more comfortable, so I would think your experience might be more comfortable.
Milky - Please let us know what the doctor says. I hope you're feeling much better soon.
Jazzy - That sounds like good advice on how to screen out married men. Even armed with that advice, though, I'll probably always be suspicious, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe I'm becoming wiser with age; I sure hope so, anyway.
BB - I'm looking forward to finalization of the divorce, but I probably won't be able to afford to keep my boys and me in our house, and on top of everything else, I'll probably end up saddled with the ex's debt. You should've seen the ex and his lawyer at court practically gloating about my predicament. Still, I want it all to be over soon.
I feel very bad this weekend because I promised my sons that I'd speak up for them about one particular issue in court. Then, in court, I decided not to mention the issue. To make a long story short: When I came home, my sons looked so disappointed that I didn't argue the point they wanted me to argue. I feel terrible about that. But I was afraid to open a can of worms (so to speak) and put them in the middle of an argument. Oh, well...
Goodnight, everyone.
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Life- you ex and the lawyer gloating together. Don't they sound likely perfectly toxic team. Makes me mad.
I hope the judge sees what hardship your husband has caused you and your children and makes a fair judgement. My guess is you made the best decision about what you needed to say in court. I know this is so hard on you and your boys.
Wishing you the best as you continue to fight for what is rightfully yours!
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