Single life after a mastectomy
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jazz thanks, yes I was already thinking of that option. I ll try to find another job within the co. I ll get the letter today too.
Thank you for your advice n the pictures.
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E - good luck!!
Jazzy - the photos are beautiful. The bridge one is my fav!!
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Enerva- good luck and let us know how it works out?
June- glad you like the pier picture. Here is one of under the pier I really like too!
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oh great pictures jazz, I am at my dc just waiting Yo see her.
Bb, I am glad you found a new Mo. In my case I feel like I am a glass and it fills and fills then when it can not hold any more water I cry. It is not good cuz I built inside so much then I can't take it any more.
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ok my doctor gave me a letter, I ll wait till hr talks to me and if necessary I ll provide my letter. I really hope it helps me keep my present hours. I ll also apply to other jobs and ll hope for a transfer.
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BB- I can relate to what you are saying here. I have never been one who can cry easily, but when it starts, it is hard to stop. I think you have been trying to be strong for very long and that the tears will help to release some of the pain you have been holding on to.
Good luck with the new MO. You need one who can hear you and not dismiss you and hope this one is better. Let us know how the visit goes today?
Enerva- glad you got the letter. Glad you are applying for other jobs too. I think you are going to land in something better. Companies put themselves at risk with this kind of behavior.
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jaz I agree, in the past I always let them push me but I paid the price already. Yes it could be nice the extra $ but no $ is worth my well been I am not complaining about the over time hours I have been doing but I don't want to carry an after hours support cell phone. My doctor said it's no good. She said I already deal with insomnia and if I get calls I could then be up and not get any rest through the night. Like you said it will affect me in a way that I won't have any time or energy for my studying or exercise or nothing personal. I am not 20 years old anymore I can't take the stress like I used to.
I now worry that this may cause more trouble. Usually when you stand up for yourself the managers get more into getting in your way.
honestly I need to find another job. I ll try my best to do so.I found another exercise video I want to share with you all. It looks very hard I ll try.
This weekend if I find a timer. Do you guys know where to buy one of those timers they use?
Watch "BodyRock HiitMax | Workout 1 - Full Body Skipping" on YouTube - BodyRock HiitMax | Workout 1 - Full Body Skipping:
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Watch "BodyRock HiitMax | Workout 1 - Full Body Skipping" on YouTube - BodyRock HiitMax | Workout 1 - Full Body Skipping:
No sure if this link ll work
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Enerva- well, if HR won't do anything to help you, then you just go find a job somewhere else. Your doc made a good point about already having issues with insomnia. I am firmly of the belief that poor sleep really runs down your immune system. Fingers crossed you will get some good outcomes from all this.
Not sure what kind of timer you are talking about? Maybe you need a sports watch?
How is your sister doing?
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hi ladies. Well I had another bad day. I was in a meeting and the manager announced that my hours will now be from 10:30am to 7pm starting April 20th plus I will take part on the rotation of the after hours. Yes just like that. I am so down. I have to wait till Tuesday to speak to Hr. And well I have no idea what ll happen. I did find a few positions so I ll apply. I hate everything honestly.
My sister is having a lot of pain on her arm. I don't know why xray did not show anything but again there is no mri done so I don't know what to believe.
I have an open house tmw. Yes easter lol I will be doing an open house.
Hope you all have a great evening
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Enerva- wow that sucks. Starting immediately? I hope the meeting with HR goes okay nexgt week, and you find out any options you may have to stay there. Are you looking on job boards outside of the company your are working for too?
I have been busting my butt for two months networking, having so many meetings, phone calls, etc. and yet to find a good contract to get back to work. It is frustrating, but I have come to realize although many people will talk to you and may have an interest, some don't really have any real work or funded work here right now. Things are stagnant here locally, and many of my colleagues are either leaving the state and/or retiring so I am learning. So I am not going to say I feel totally positive right now either, but do have two new things that seem very real and right now and working to get in front of the hiring people on those soon. I am now looking for something good enough vs. something better I was hoping to do. I wish I could retire too!
Isn't it amazing how you get through all this BC stuff and you think that should be hard enough, and then your work is so awful or you can't find what you need when you need it?
I am persevering though, and so will you Enerva. Keep the faith, remember we got through cancer and we can surely find our way through this work stuff! I remind myself I am healthy and able to work which means any of the rest of these challenges I have the ability to overcome.
Glad you have an open house on Sunday. Why not? I hope you make a sale and some $$$!
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Thanks jazz. You know I feel like you.I am trying to be positive and I tell myself It ll be ok but just like you I feel down. I think it's just life in general yes I am having a hard time with this job but the truth is that it was hard before and bc gave me a way to scape it for two years. I have the open house tomorrow Friday it is Wierd cuz it's a holiday but I ll do it. Last time I did it in that building I enjoy it.met two seniors whom enjoyed talking to me in the lobby and I ll have fun tmw. I am trying not to let my job bother me cuz reality is I can't afford not to have it. I ll put up my fake smile and continue to go there and do what I can. I ll apply to the position I saw. No I am not looking within other companies yet. I hope to find something within this one so I keep the benefits and seniority it's been almost 4 years there now. When I was young I did switch company twice but now I feel I need to stay in one till I make some money on real state then I ll leave. The environment is toxic but is just a job and I need to put up with it for now.
Ok so I found the timer. Call gymboss timer. It will be great so I don't have to count my seconds and just concentrate on the breathing wile exercise.
I am excited about the exercise progress I have done and tmw I ll set up my bar and I ll do a routine here in my apt.
Anyway good night. Hope bb is having lots of fun now that she has no more hot flushes lol I still have some but way less than last few months.
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Enerva- the contract job I did as I was coming through treatment was god awful too. I know you all listened to that when I was working there. I showed up, played nice, went home and stayed away from the outside of work. I got through and so will you.
A good friend of mine always says "get what you need first, get what you want later." You need this work now, you will have the real estate career with time.
Hang in there. I think doing the open house will make you feel very good and wash away those not so great feelings. You cannot be unhappy when you are doing what you love, right?
BB- hope you are doing okay as Enerva says. Come say hi when you are able?
Life- you doing okay with that court stuff?
June- hope your week finishes up well. I wish you were with me last week when I went to my favorite health food store anywhere (Mother's of Southern CA). Better than Whole Foods or anything else!
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As someone who has suffered her whole life from chronic overthinking, I liked this one and wanted to share it with you all!
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hi ladies yes I am at the building. I am early so j am sitting in my car just relaxing reading my book before the open house
Oh jazz I found the timer. Called gymboss. Very cool I want to try the routines without counting so the timer can help.
I forgot to tell you guys something I realized and I am a bit depressed about.
So the right breast the one I had had on its bad now it's so tight that my nipple is turning to the side of my breast like it is not longer in the center. I don't know how to explain but I am very depressed my breast Is not balanced and looks retarded
( I started to do chest exercise to see if I help it but nothing seems to help I can't not tell you how this affects me even though I have no man I want my body to look good for me I feel like crap. I now understand the p's. He said to me let's see if you are still happy in one year after the surgery. Cuz I told him how happy I was with the results and now it's been 8 months I am sad again. When does it end? Why radiation does this to us?
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Enerva- it sounds like there is something going on with the way that recon has settled. Can you make an apt with the PS to have him/her look at it and see what is going on? I am sorry this is bringing you down.
So is Easter today in Canada or do they just give you the Good Friday holiday off here? It is a big holiday here in NM as there are many catholics and they do pilgrimages to special places here. Anyways, I hope the open house goes well and remember that you are doing the thing you LOVE today!
I am going Sunday to the hot springs for some soaking and then going later in the day to visit my friend going through chemo. She has not been doing as well lately, her last bloodwork was not good, everything low including platelets so she had to have a transfusion last week. She told me this week she was unable to do her fifth chemo this week as planned as her platelets are still way low. I can tell she is feeling very down and she told me she was going to have a quiet Easter and asked if she would like a visit late afternoon on my way back and she was really open to it. Will stop and get us something good to eat or we can go somewhere and have a bite too if she wants that instead.
I am working to make my next apt with the MO today for the summer per a message from them. Trying to do my follow up and get my Prolia shot all in one visit, but it has to be timed right with insurance on the shot (must be exactly half a year later or they won't pay for it). When I was in there for the Prolia shot, the back office folks said I should be able to do both next visit if I timed it right, but now that I am trying to schedule it, no one seems to know? If I need to do them in separate visits, I will. Just trying to make it efficient and of course, nothing is with any of this stuff, right?
I also learned I will see the CNP again because my MO will still not be back this summer from his medical leave. I think I told you he had a heart attack in December so they set me up with the CNP for follow ups which I found to be okay. I am thinking maybe he won't be coming back after all, or at least I won't be surprised if he retires.
Weather is beautiful here today so I am working on putting indoor plants out on the patio and getting my backyard and patio ready for spring and summer.
Anyone else doing anything interesting for the holiday this weekend?
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I am sorry everyone I neglected to add this thread to my favourite topics, probably a sign how far away I am from even thinking of dating.......I had an accident recently and despite the trauma etc my only thought was I have to make sure no one can see I am deformed.........I mean for goodness sake.....when the doctor and ambulance staff asked about illnesses and i had to say breast cancer i shrank inside, and this is 3 years on.............some days i say to myself oh well its only a thought you are having but most days I almost despair of myself and summer is coming where I lived and that is the worst for me as everyone has everything on show while I skulk around hoping no one can see the floor when i bend down in a dress.........
Despite my best efforts and spending a lot of money I am still unreconstructed and there is a FOUR YEAR waiting list and that is only for something I don´t really want but its all there is if I cannot pay for more fat transfers..........the whole radiated area hurts all the time, in different places over the day and night but it never feels normal, even my throat gets tight......i cannot bear to be seen by anyone incljuding myself, i am an expert at only looking at half my body when forced to but mostly i move mirrors so I don´t have to see anything, saddo yes........no dating websites I know of for men who like freaky bodies, and if there was would I want the kind of man it appealed to (unless he had only one arm perhaps)?
I have not had sex in 3 years and now have the delightful sounding atrophy meaning i am supposed to use internal moisturisers twice a week and externally too, if there is anything guaranteed to turn me off sex then..................
Sorry if too graphic but jeez some days i could exfoliate myself as i walk...............
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lili55, please stay here we welcome every lady to stay connected we are far but close cuz we too are going through different sircunstances and it does sucks.
Jazz I fear my p's surgeon won't suggest any fixing due to the fact that they think I am supposed to be greatful to be alive and I am not to look perfect. It makes me feel like crap cuz like lili55 say I now also try to avoid looking at it but I can't I look and look and compare it to the other side. It's very frustrating. I will make an appointment in a few months cuz he said he wanted to see me in a year after surgery and that is in august
You know lili55 the rad side for me also gives me pain specialy at night that together with hot flushes.
I wish my poor sister scape radiation. I wish I could have scape too
Well 3 couples came and now dead, 30 minutes to 4pm I am very excited about exercising today when I get home
I will try some of the once this lady do in the video
I bet I will drop dead in the first 30 seconds hahahhha0 -
Enerva- it is too bad the medical/oncology community feels women should just be "grateful to be alive" despite the treatments that leave women's bodies forever changed, and the SEs that are hard to live with. I wonder if that is the difference that comes with male vs. female physicians? I think the male doctors are quick to recommend removal of things. That was my experience with my pelvic issues that began in 2007. Sorry things are hard sister.
Lilly- good to see you here again and just saw your post on the Hermits too. I am sorry about things continuing to be so hard for you. When you say you had an accident, was it a car or a fall or something else? I hope you were not badly hurt. I know you said in another post somewhere that you were encouraged to get disability? Is that an option to help financially? Hugs sister, glad you have us on your favorites and feel you can share here with us.
And many of us talk about a lot of other stuff here beside the dating world. Just a good place for us single gals to share about our challenges being single in the going through the bc world with treatment and post treatment. I don't really think much about dating either. I had lunch with
I heard from the MO's office today and the person in the clinical area told me we could in fact do the follow up and Prolia shot together and now have an apt to do both when I go in end of July. It seems like you just finish a follow up and then there is suddenly another on the horizon.
BB- how did it go with the new MO this week?
Piper- are you back yet from your NO Jazz Festival? Can't wait to hear about it if you are still out here on BCO?
I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend. I am going to go try to cheer my chemo friend up on Sunday. We get by with a little help from our friends.....
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BB- glad you and the MO clicked. I am not surprised the drugs may be having such a bad effect on you. These meds impact everyone so differently both physically and emotionally. Is she taking you off it? I cannot remember if you were on the AIs first and switched?
I will say of any of the stuff I have had to do, the longer term meds are the hardest. The anastrozole was so hard on me the first six plus months, then I went off it for a bit, then it was better. I cannot loose any weight on them though, that is for sure despite how little I eat or how much I exercise. And the bones, that is a whole other concern but hoping the Prolia is helping.....
Also, Lilly lives in Europe. I know her from another thread.
And don't worry about me, I am hanging in there. I learned about a couple new out of state things today including on in AZ that could be very good, but not totally sure I am the right person for it. Going to look into some things over the weekend to see if I can make it work or not.
I also learned about something local today that could be perfect but is SO low paying it is ridiculous. It came through my higher end networking group too where I am sure no one in the group works for that money, so I am checking with the woman who posted it (know her) to see if they might be open to negotiating the rate. This is why all my colleagues are moving out of state right now.
I shifted gears today and focusing on the house and yard and trying to enjoy life! Hoping each of you can find a little joy in today too.
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BB- now I remember. I thought you had been on the AIs but went off, and now remember you talked about the hair loss. I hope the Femara is better. I do think my hair is slightly thinner on the arimidex but nothing bad.
My MO says my insurance will pay for bone density 1X a year so my next one will be December. By then I will have two Prolia shots under my belt plus a year or more of routine weight bearing exercise. I am hoping it all helps to keep the bones strong.
I am REALLY glad you have a new doc that is going to help you to feel better BB. That is really good news.
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BB- you got SO much good info from that doctors visit. No doubt she is supporting you to help ensure you can get that surgery done. Women doctors just get it. I think male doctors can be very cavalier about the female anatomy.
Enerva- anything come of that open house yesterday?
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BB- a lot of medical practices are still "old school" with the types of docs they have and the way they provide info to patients. The big hospital I do work for here has a portal for their patients to get their results and it is a huge customer satisfier. The practice groups and hospitals that are more "patient-centric" will be the ones that survive. That dude you had should retire as well has his medical group. OLD SCHOOL!
It is okay if someone does not have the answer, but I do expect them to find out and let me know vs. dismiss my question. Even a tech could call you and follow up on that, but my guess, they didn't.
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BB- ooh glad you started the meditation group! You are doing so many good things to take care of yourself! You go girl!
I went to the garden center today and got some of the first plants for my big pots out front and also did some more clean up, pruning, mulching, etc. of the front yard and rock garden things starting to come back. Front yard is looking nice!
Going to the gym for some weights and then home to relax for the evening. I am gone for the day tomorrow to the hot springs and wish you all a peaceful holiday for those celebrating.
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hi, well sister still having lots of pain en her arm. Now her chemo is on April 14 th.
Bb thanks for reminding me of vitamin D ii used to take it every day and I stopped a few months back not sure why just not in front of me I guess. I. Never bought magnesium one. I started again the d. I am so depressed thinking about my job. I also wonder if I should try to find something far from here and moving the only problem is finding a job which can provide good benefits. I definitely will look at all options now. I am very unhappy with the new hours. I will be getting home at 8 pm. In the summer is not a problem cuz it's bright till late but when fall comes I see how unhappy I ll be.
I have been working out 3 times a week now and I decided to set up an area in my livinroom. I figure I never have visitors so I don't care lol I will set up an area for exercising where I am supposed to have a dining set. I never got one that space is empty.
Hope you all have a great week
I will talk to Hr this Tuesday and I ll keep you posted.
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hi ladies....hope you all had a good weekend.
E - i am bit worried about you. i am can't help much on the job front. the only thing i can think of is to find another job. since you got your license, can you work for a realty company full time? are you taking any natural supplement to help you sleep? stay hopeful and active.....
i bought some plum wine today....gosh so delicious. the pre C me would have finished half of the bottle.....
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jazzy - have a wonderful trip....i am jealous of your traveling. i hope i'll be able to take a trip soon. work is not that busy but here and there that i can't take a week off. i planned to go to athens but...sigh... and my sis has been inviting me to go see her in CA...so i'll take a long weekend soon.
BB - i am glad you like your new MO.
Lily - hope you are feeling better. i sort of missed my old days that i did online. even though nothing came of it but i got to meet men and felt good about myself. and now i took myself off the online dating, too brutal for my fragile ego.
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Hi ladies- the day at the hot springs was really lovely. I got up there as they were opening and left about a half hour before closing. I love this place, discovered it last year although I have been up to this little rural community many times and been to other springs there. I am all mellowed out from soaking and reading today. The people that run the place are so cool and down to earth. I may go up there again for a day over Memorial Day weekend. Great get away spot.
I stopped on the way home at my friend's house to visit her and bring her a potted easter flower for her patio. She is the friend who is going through chemo and had some complications lately. She told me she was going to have a quiet day but in the end, family was there and I stumbled into a lovely evening Easter meal. I cleaned up the dishes and kitchen after dinner. She is hoping her blood work is better this week so she can get on with her next chemo done.
Enerva- I wish you luck with the meeting this week and hope you can work something out with this company to find a better job in the company or finding something else better. You can look at it like this, going back there got you working again and now maybe you can go find something better that you want (and with benefits too). I know this is not always easy, but think of all you have gone through and come through so strong. Something better will come. And sorry your sister is having arm pain (lymphemeda?)
June- well that is too bad you are not going to Greece this year. Maybe a nice trip to CA would be enjoyable too. I love to travel overseas but honestly have not been up for any international travel since everything happened. Where in CA?
Go make this a good week folks.
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BB- you mentioned you had been loosing a lot of weight. There is a celebrity (Giuliana) from E Magazine talking about how she has been on Tamoxifen and has been loosing a lot of weight as a result.
Now that you are off the T, you may be able to put on some weight (and well, the AIs, move you in the other direction.....)
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