Single life after a mastectomy
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BB- good for you, and remember men like us for more than our bodies and our breasts.
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BB- I hope you enjoy the concert and a rowing team sounds cool too. The later will help you with upper body strength.
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BB what has made you frisky again? I just feel old and shrunken on AI´s? Look forward to next instalment you are the hope bringer........
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OMG had a tough day.....
so busy today and multiple ppl talked to me at the same time with the phone ringing.....i think my anal retentive manager just drop the last straw on my camel's back. i can't f'king stand a man so nick picking 24/7 365 a year.
thanks for letting me vent....
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June- sorry to hear you had a bad day. Nothing worse than a micromanager. I hope tomorrow is better.
Vent with us any time you need to.
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thanks jazzy.
my friend said he did it on purpose....so i'll leave the team on my own. trust me, my desire is much stronger than his....
how's your day??
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June- doing okay. Went to a networking meeting this afternoon, which was good.
My quals are being submitted to a firm here in town this week I want to do work for through another contracting company. They are meeting with them tomorrow. I hope to get a meeting with them next. If I get the work (assuming it is the right fit and right $$$), it will keep me busy through end of the year.
I had another firm I had been expecting to do a project with but they have gone silent so maybe they did not get the work or get it yet. Called them today, but waiting to hear back and just not having as good a vibe about it now. So I just need to move on and if something is meant to happen with these folks, it may with time.
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jazzy - how's the meeting....hope things went well.
BB - lol...that's funny...
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BB- the frustration of insurance companies. You crack me up BB!
Did I tell you the stuff BSBC has been sending me? They sent me two letters last winter related to my lumpectomy surgery in 2012 saying they are disputing the claims related to that procedure. The BS office said insurance companies cannot come back years after the fact and say "we changed our mind, we are not paying." They must have audited some of their claims and found some issues, but WTF? I have been told not to worry by the BS office, but between this nonsense and all the data breach stuff that has gone on with BSBC, I am going to find another carrier and plan for next year. I stayed with them since my bc diagnosis as it is easier to get out of state medical care (including for cancer), which I had to do once and of course, we never know the future. But I think they are riddick now.
The prime on the work opp contacted me this am for some clarification points on the resume. They were going to meet with them today and I should know more tomorrow. But something else came up today too I am also looking into. It is a healthcare project similar to what I just did a few years ago, but for a clinic group in Harrisburg, PA. The good thing is that they won't require being on site that much, just when the vendor is there and likely for go live. So I am looking into the travel routes, etc. from here to see what that will look like. I may try to interview for that one too. Working from home with a once a month trip to PA would be very do-able. In many ways, I think doing some work in other places would be better for me right now.
I got my 2nd car in today and have some maintenance things to do, but no big problems found so I will have her back on Friday. It is my convertible and this is the time of the year to drive it. I am spoiled.
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BB- wow, what forms were they missing? I know you need the refund $$ and sorry to hear it is further delayed.
These days, I always worry my filings may bounce because of all the data breaches that are going on and worries my SSN has been snatched. State one went through and of course, IRS has chased my check. They are very quick to cash my checks, I might add! Filing seems okay so far this year......
Not sure what to say about the old BF. Have you talked to your new therapist about this? The heart wants what it wants sometimes, and I find time and space help me to get over most things I wish were different. But some things take longer than others too.
I decided the work back east may in reality, be the best fit for what I have been looking for. Ideally, I have been wanting something out of state that I can work on remotely and travel a bit with. This would be a very good client to have (as well as a reference for future work) and could lead to more work as they are a big healthcare org. I sort of like the idea of getting out of dodge periodically. The economics here are pulling me down.
I was concerned about the travel back east because here to Harrisburg was not looking like an easy trip (2 stops in most cases and facing 12 hours of travel, ugh!) But I remembered ABQ has direct flights to Baltimore and Harrisburg is a straight shot up within 90 minutes. I am much better off in the better weather months doing that and not having to be on three flights. I found a way to do this travel which made me decide to submit for it. Will let you know what happens and the other place in town is having a follow up call today on the work here. I am going to play them both out but think one or both may work out and have me working the next seven to nine months or more.
Enerva- today is your meeting with HR about the new work hours. Let us know what they say about the situation and/or if there may be a different job you can do there? I am sure the longer evening hours must be hard, but perhaps a slower morning is a blessing? Are you able to do your on line classes in the morning or get some exercise in?
June- how is your work since you shared with us last? Did you tell me where you are going to visit your sister in CA?
Milky, Kasa, Lilly, Melp, and others who may be reading here, hope you are having a good week.
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BB- we filed electronically, but I was never able to get a 1095 form from BSBC. I was told by one of the dip sheet customer service reps a copy was sent to the IRS. My accountant told me that was supposed to happen (just like they do with other filings like 1099s), but that I should also have been sent a copy too. My accountant told me they should have sent one for the period of time I did have ACO coverage (9 months last year, transitioned off another plan by April of 2014). So we just noted all this if I get audited, and my guess is a stupid form will show up this year. The insurance companies do not have their act around ACO yet. My guess is the IRS did not get the copy they should have been sent. Sigh.
I have never been notified that my data with BSBC was compromised, although I think they find out more with time. Cyber security is 10 years behind what it should be with all the data out there. My cyber friends tell me so and companies usually won't do what they need to until something bad happens. I watch my credit all the time anyways and my cyber friends say "it is better to assume your info is out there." With filing tax stuff though, there is no way to know until you do. IRS is really unprepared to deal with that kind of tax fraud. It has happened to several friends.
A couple years ago, I got a letter from the local cancer center where I got a second opinion on which type of rads I should have. Only went there once, and they sent a letter within a year of that visit to say my medical data was breached. Having your cancer info data being out there and sold is a very uncomfortable thought. I got some weird stuff in the mail after that made me think it was out there. That gets in the wrong hands and you can be denied many things. Sigh.
I think I can handle the travel once a month to the east coast, but not more than that. I was working on a FT job for a company here who expanded into TX back in 2005 or so and they wanted me to go out there and help with an integration project. A couple months of travel turned into almost a year. It almost killed me, and I will refused 100% travel jobs up front now. I just have to be sure that once a month is REALLy what they are saying they are okay with.
Got a late afternoon apt.
Enjoy your concert BB!
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DIY sex is ALL I can manage......helps me sleep
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jazzy,
My sister is in north CA...I will do a last minute trip bc work schedule is quite unpredictable right now.
Work is okay....I was bit quiet yesterday and today I am fine. He's not a bad person just very different woek style than what I was used to.
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lily - you are so funny!! I have to do that from time to time....its a good stress relief.
E - how are you holding up?
BB - enjoy it....don't be bothered of what ppl think. They don't matter....
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BB- I never got subsidies with my policy so probably less of an issue for me than the hassles you went through. Sorry it was such a mess for you.
And I agree with you about love, and extend that idea of not letting bc hold you back to many other things too. I have been holding myself back professionally on some levels because I have been afraid I am going to get sick again. It has kept me from saying yes to good work coming from out of state sources because of the fear of something going wrong.
I had to tell myself I am 2.5 years out now from diagnosis, over 2 from end of treatment. I feel good most of the time these days, fit and strong from my work outs and wanting more from life. I had to tell myself "you are not sick anymore." I have been living for awhile with feeling that way though, that I was still sick because it just took a long time to really feel better, ya know?
I know you all understand the fears we live with around the "what if " of reoccurrence. I read something here on one of the threads that said "you don't get in a car every day expecting to have an accident, so don't go through every day thinking your cancer might come back." Touche!
And you can all move out here and party with me! Summer music will be starting in another month or so! It is so fun here in the summer time.
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BB- I understand the challenges with sharing things openly at in person groups. When I have tried it, it has not felt good to me. I am not a fan of this either and always preferred one to one counseling. It allows for a safe environment to talk about things without others listening in, judging or perhaps sharing outside of the confidential circle.
Can the woman you were doing one on one counseling with at least give you a few referrals so you can see if they may be in network?
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BB- the AIs will dry out the female tissues. Your gyn can give you things to help with that.
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I am a woman who loves fast cars.
This was my ride to the dealership today to pick up my convertible from her spring tune up. A LOTUS Evora. Never ridden in a Lotus before. And in my favorite color too......
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Well, not my car, but fun to ride in.
I got some very sad news this afternoon in the local newspaper. A good friend of mine from a job here in town about 10 years ago has passed away. I was in touch with her after I left that job, but her mother passed from pancreatic cancer after a long and grueling battle and then she moved out of town to the DFW area for a new job (and I think to just start over as going through that just about destroyed her). I tried to reach out to her a few years ago but never heard back and perhaps now know why. It sounds like she passed away from complications from cancer. She leaves behind an 11 year old daughter, which is the hardest part of all.
I called a couple friends and colleagues from the time we all worked together to tell them, one knew and the other was in complete shock. Got a call into a third person I need to reconnect with anyways and will talk to him too. We all talked about how sometimes we wished we had stayed in better touch with one another. But we know it is hard to keep up with everyone through time.
Anyways, although she lived here for awhile and her father still lives here.
I know we have all said it here before, but I am going to say it again. CANCER SUCKS!
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I appreciate it BB. I saw my brother die young and leave a 2 1/2 year old son behind and quite honestly, the world never made sense to me after that. I feel for that family and especially that little girl. Life is very unfair to some families.
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BB- I am doing better today and appreciate you asking. I woke up last night thinking about the whole thing about my friend, her daughter, the funeral today in TX, the fact we lost touch, etc. Then this morning I just cried about the whole thing and then felt better. Just knocked the wind out of my sails with such shocking news.
I guess I am always thinking about people I know with cancer and how everyone is doing, and then out of nowhere, you get the news about someone you knew and cared about had it and then they are gone. I understand your thoughts about cancer too BB, because it feels like it is everywhere all the time now. I cannot tell you how many people I know beyond this site who had it, or have it, or have it back again. All kinds too. Sigh.....
I hope your upcoming apts go well. I always go under the radar with friend during my follow ups because it is so stressful and people don't get it. Hard to make others understand what we live with in the post cancer world. We will be here with you as you go into and come out of those apts.
Enerva- how did the meeting with HR go? Do you have any open houses this weekend?
June- are you doing anything fun this weekend? How is spring in the city?
Life- I was thinking of you in Whole Foods today. How are things going with the courts?
Milky- you pushing to the end of the semester?
Kasa- you out there still too? How are things going for you?
Melp- how are you doing in the recon world these days?
Lilly- how are you doing with everything that has gone on lately? Are you feeling better and healed from the accident?
Hoping everyone is hanging in there. Sometimes it is all we can do......
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BB- looking forward to the buddism meeting updates!
I worked in the garden for awhile tonight. Such good therapy for the soul. My trees are coming out now and more things are popping up out of the ground and some things starting to bloom. I love putting my hands in the dirt, always have. I am an earth muffin, LOL!
Going to go watch TV and relax the rest of the day. I want a good nights sleep and have lots I want to do tomorrow.
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BB- it has been on HBO a lot.
I am doing some cleaning in the bedroom tonight and watching the Dukes of Sept DVD. It is a 90 min concert with Michael McDonald, Donald Fagen (Steely Dan) and Boz Scaggs. The music of our generation, yes? I am going to see Fagen in concert this summer and he is playing with Elvis Costello too. That is going to be a smokin' hot concert.
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hi jazzygirl
doing ok with recon. The settling of the expander is a bit painful at times feel like it is pressing on my rib at bit sometimes. Other ladies have had this happen too..Will mention it to my BS next time anyway.
after the last fill he said "will see you in six weeks and i will be able to tell you the date for your exchange." This was in march so im thinking early june he will say. Seeing him on the 23rd of april for this discussion. Fingers crossed!!
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Melp- good news on the progress with everything. Your apt is coming up soon! Let us know when you have your dates for the final procedure. Almost to the finish line!
BB- how was the concert last Thursday? I forgot to ask about that?
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Oh and I am going to see Branford Marsalis, brother of legendary Winton Marsalis, this week. As I play the sax, this one will be a total treat this week!
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BB- I have always had lots of hobbies. Don't let where you live limit that. I have always played music, enjoyed gardening (even in pots when I lived in an apt), movies, concerts, biking, writing, etc. Not always at the same time though. Some things cost more than others.
I think a hobby or two would make your life feel a big fuller?
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Maybe some new hobbies that fit with the new you?
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Do you have any nature centers within driving distance? We have a couple here and I discovered one when I first moved here and used to do volunteer work with them. I made some nice friends there too as I got started with my new chapter here. You might find a buddy there to do things with or go with organized group events with. I go on hikes and bird watching things here sometimes, but not as much in the past few years.
Also, have you ever tried Meet Up groups? There are all kinds of those groups that are organized around interests from music, to dining, to outdoor things. A lot of free stuff too, or sometimes people will do something and go out for food or drink after. I joined a couple back in 2011 and met some nice folks for outdoor things, but then dropped out as my mother became ill and had to deal with that. I have never gone back to them as I really do have enough going on in my life right now, but would join them again. I found it very easy to participate in when I wanted to.
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came back from the cherry blossom event from DC...gosh so many ppl. it's beautiful though.
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