Single life after a mastectomy
Comments
-
BB- maybe you will see that young man again somewhere. I do believe people keep crossing our paths if we are supposed to have connection with them.
I am glad you are giving the new fellow a chance. There is nothing wrong with just meeting someone for coffee. You have sons in common with this man too, lots of good conversation potential there. I am not conservative and don't care if someone is, as long as they are not pushing their politics down my throat. I hope you have some fun together, let us know how it goes?
I have to check out OurTime. I am over 50 so I will be curious to see what is out there here in my city. I have a friend who does POF all the time and she says the men want to move fast.
Ha, didn't June say something about dates to Applebees when she lives in NYC and there are so many other good choices?
My worst food/date experience I ever had was long ago in my 20s was with a guy who was a friend of a friend and was a school teacher. He asked me to dinner but said we had to go to this one place as he had a "2 for one coupon". I was young then, but thought if money was the issue, why not just grab a pizza together? Better food for the same amount of money. I suggested that actually but no, we had to go to this place that was really like a banquet hall and think they did this to just make money between wedding receptions and other events. I remember we had stuffed sole and it seemed much like the food you would get at a wedding reception at that time. It was just totally bizarre.
We went for drinks afterwards and after the big spender bought a couple drinks and the 2-fer dinners, he announced anything else we did that night was on me. On me? So I said lets have one drink and then I needed to go home as I had a busy day the next day. We ordered a couple drinks and when he went to get up, he did not back out from the table and so he knocked the table and the drinks (some of it on me) and that was that. I told him we just needed to go.
He said at the end of the date as I was getting ready to get out of his car what a great time he had and that he wanted to see me again. I told him I was busy with work (I was waitressing then after college and before I went to grad school) and said it was nice to meet him but we were coming into holiday season so I would not really have the time for dating with more shifts. He called me for about 2 months trying to get me to go out with him. I never talked to him again. That was over 30 years ago and never have had a worse experience with food on a date.
What is good about on line dating is meeting for coffee and having that food thing out of the way to start if you don't want to.
0 -
BB- I agree with you we should be treated royally on the first dates. Anyone who is cheap, asks a woman to pay for something, is disrepectful needs to go. First impressions are everything. I pay close attention to the way a man treats a woman during the first few interactions. It speaks volumes. It is why I never talked to that awful guy again on that date in my 20s. I had had a boyfriend prior to him who knew how to court a woman. I knew better.
Have fun with the new guy. He joined the site to talk to you. Nice.
0 -
jazzy - i walk to central park every weekend, just to enjoy the park....i think they have movie events in the summer and i've been to one or two. i can't do it now, looking for bathroom is a huge problem for me.
BB - i am w jazzy that if you are meant to be, you'll meet him again. and have fun on the first date w the young father.
is there anywhere else to meet other than applebee's or olive garden?? there got to be somewhere bit more unique than a chain. but don't mind me what i think...have fun.
0 -
Hi Ladies, sorry i haven't been here i am just so tired and my mind is back home my sister is in bad shape Radiation made things worse, due to having way more pain after radiation started. I feel sad that my entire family is going through hell, and i am so far away. Today they had such challenge finding pain killers. they cant find morphine so they are giving her something else. I honestly wish she passes away soon and stop the suffering. I had to work late shift this week and it was brutal. Need to leave home at 9am to get there for 11am due to no having trains after 9am . then i missed the last train coming back at 7pm so got home around 9pm every night. Today i had to work to run some releases for production. I am always looking at my cellphone waiting for the news from home. i am to study for my next course and i have no brains.
BB, i wish i could give you a big hug, some of my friends got their other half on that e harmony site. I did join at one point and i never met anyone but in my case i was not really interested i don't know why i even signed in to it. It was like a way of saying i am over my ex and i am moving on lol I still get lots of emails from it but i don't even care to respond. The funny thing is that i get match with many man from USA specially from OH. lol weird right?
How is Milky? i hope she is feeling better now.
Oh guess what? i saw that i missed my MO appointment on May 07. I called and got booked for July 09. I have been so consumed by my sister situation and work that i am not taking care of me at all. maybe i will ride tomorrow to get some of my stress out. My period came 3 days ago to top my days with more crap and still here. In a way i am glad since it is a normal female body occurrence and i am happy not to have the hot flashes but i also wish i didnt have it anymore. it seams nothing makes me happy lol
I will keep you posted on my Sister, but just know i am ok with what is coming. I am not waiting for a miracle i know what is on the plate. I just want her to rest and my family too. No one deserve to end life in pain. i am so upset at life. There are no words to describe how i feel these days.
But i am alive and i and still going like an energizer battery i guess.
Love the horse pictures , thanks Jazz, Thank you all for been my cyber friends LOVE you ALL
0 -
Enerva- I am so sorry about your sister. Do they have anything like hospice care VZ? It sounds like she just needs good pain management now. I know you were more hopeful the treatment was working.
Please take care of yourself. I know things are stressful. I put my apts everywhere from phone, to various written calendars. I hope all is well with your apt in July. I hope you can get some rest.
0 -
E - I am so sorry about your sis and your work. Have you started sending out your resume? May be start look into it when you are more relaxed.
Jazzy - speaking of jazz in the park...it really sounds amazing. When I said romantic I just meant it in a poetic sense not with a man. Sometimes I wish I could just go to this kind of events alone....and don't care what other think
0 -
Thanks Jazz, June no luck in Vzla it is the worse place to be when you are sick. No good medical attention no medicine hospitals are in ruins etc. I play lotto last night and i though if we had money things could be different. But for them to live in a country which is in hell now its just brutal.
Anyway i agree with you the jazz festivals do sound so romantic . On the other hand i book a day trip on June 13th here is the info of where and what i will be doing for the cost of $210 it is $105 but i bought two places hoping that my friend the one who has been upset about me no hanging out with her and her hubby lol her b day was at the beginning of may and i missed it so i will see if she comes with me to this: It will do me well to clear my head.
- A spectacular day exploring the best of Ontario home grown food and crafts AND a boat cruise on Lake Couchiching & Lake Simcoe.We drive first to Barrie's Farmers Market. This market is older than CANADA! Established in April 24, 1846!!! A grant of land was awarded to the farmers of Simcoe District (now Simcoe County) to display their goods.THEN
NOW
You will have time to shop for local honey, homemade shortbread, nuts, oils & vinegars, crafts, maple syrup, crafts, arts and much more.HUNGRY? Our next stop is ALL YOU CAN EAT BRUNCH at the Market Buffet & Grill.The Market uses fresh Ontario produce when possible and cooks most of its items from scratch. You will experience a huge assortment of fabulous items including waffles, French toast, pancakes, bacon, sausages, home fries and all your lunch favorites like pot-roast meat loaf, mash potatoes, BBQ chicken, Mac and Cheese and much more. Soft drink or Coffee included.
Then we drive to the marina in Orillia to get out on the water on The Island Princess Twin Lakes Cruise Ship. The cruise ship is a large double decked, 200 passenger, all weather, riverboat vessel. this 2 1/4 hour cruise on Lake Couchiching combines a passage to Lake Simcoe through the Atherley Narrows separating Lake Simcoe from Lake Couchiching.
After the cruise we will have a chance to drop into the MARIPOSA MARKET - an absolutely incredible delight of homemade foods, desserts and much more! YOU WILL LOVE IT! Take some treats home for dinner!
Enjoy a fabulous day of food and cruising - only $105.00 including EVERYTHING!Due now! Signing up is not confirmation you are going -payment is. Don't be disappointed, we sell out of our boat cruises FAST! Call me at (905) 471-7843 to pay by Visa, Mastercard or Amex. Or email for cheque info. Due to TICO regulations in Ontario for bus transportation, this trip is booked through a travel agency and full address is needed for bus manifest.PRICE INCLUDES:-Deluxe Bus Transportation with on board washroom and reclining seats.-Water and snacks on board the bus.-Shopping time at Barrie's Farmer Market-All you can eat Brunch at the Market Buffet & Grill including beverage and tax and gratuity-2 1/4 Twin Lakes Boat Cruise on beautiful Lake Simcoe and Lake Couchiching-Shopping time at the Mariposa Market- Host-All taxes and gratuities-Bus driver gratuityPICK UP LOCATIONS7:00 am #401 and Hurontario Car Pool Lot - FREE PARKING7:30 am NE Corner of York Mills & Yonge In front of office tower facing Yonge street - Meter parking available on the NW corner - just walk across the street Price $4.00 for the day7:50 am Woodbridge/Vaughan - Car Pool Lot Lot #400 & 7 FREE PARKING1st drop in Vaughan approximately 6:30 pmNo refunds but your space is transferable - post on the site to sell - out boat cruises ALWAYS sell out!TICO #5002128See you there for an amazing day!
0 - A spectacular day exploring the best of Ontario home grown food and crafts AND a boat cruise on Lake Couchiching & Lake Simcoe.We drive first to Barrie's Farmers Market. This market is older than CANADA! Established in April 24, 1846!!! A grant of land was awarded to the farmers of Simcoe District (now Simcoe County) to display their goods.THEN
-
there are some pictures too.
.jpg?1433030149)
.jpg?1433030227)
.jpg?1433030203)
.png?1433030174)
0 -
Milky what about you? are you free June 13th? let me know.
)0 -
Enerva- I am sorry about all you are going through and things in your country. To be sick is bad enough, to not have good access to healthcare to heal you is just awful. I know there are many places in the world like this, but it just breaks my heart.
June- yes, romantic in the poetic sense, got it. The jazz tonight was outstanding. I did go alone and don't care as I just want to enjoy the music. I saw a couple people I know and visited with them. Sat next to a nice couple who was all into jazz like me.
The jazz workshop here is doing a trip to Cuba next year. I think I want to go.....
0 -
I think I am different from many with respect to doing things on my own. I grew up in a family with siblings who were much older than me so I was more of an only child. I had friends who also had older siblings, we all found each other and were like sisters to one another because we had no playmates growing up. I just learned how to be self entertaining in my family with only having adults around most of the time. As a result, I able to go to events, travel, etc. by myself. I enjoy going to concerts with others, but go when others are not interested or cannot afford it. I will say that most people are not like me and don't like to do things solo.
0 -
BB- I think knowing who we are and what we need is a good thing. If having a man in your life is what works for you, then you do that. What works for one, does not work for someone else. We have to be true to our own selves, right?
0 -
jazzy - i think i am comfortable doing things alone except dinner (not fast food restaurant)....i just felt uneasy when ppl are waiting for table and i am alone using 2 ppl table...i felt like being rushed. i guess that's my own issue.
i do like having a drink alone along the sidewalk cafe and ppl watching....
i backpacked alone in europe and i got to meet a lot of people. that's good times....
0 -
June-yes, dining along is awkward. If I am traveling and alone, I prefer to just eat in the room. Last weekend, I did that up in Santa Fe. Got some food for dinner and ate in, but did eat lunch out both days.
You are very right about being rushed when you are a party of one. They want that "two top" and the $$ that goes with it.
I have traveled in Europe and Belize by myself. Europe is so easy to do on your own. You meet great people along the way too. Good times is right.
0 -
This is me......
0 -
lol...so funny!!
0 -
Hey June- I get these things on e-mail about the Smooth Jazz mini cruises out of NYC. Thought you would be interested. This looks like a lot of fun.
http://www.smoothjazznewyork.com/events/221-Smooth...
0 -
jazzy - thanks...I checked it out. Very nice indeed. I want to go.
0 -
BB- I know you are stuck. I am plum out of ideas for you on how to get through this.
Keep trying different things until something works for you. Trial and error has always gotten me through.
0 -
So next time someone asks, my response will be "I am dating myself......"
0 -
BB - write yourself a letter as though you were your own best friend..............you are stuck and going round in circles but the answers will only be found in yourself not a good lay......what would your monk chappìe say to you?
0 -
That is excellent Lily. I am going to write myself a letter too.
0 -
Hi Ladies well i got a text msg from my girldfriend whom i havent seen in a wile saying she can not make it on june 13th ;(BB i wish i could take you ;( i already paid for the two seats ;( well i will try to reach Milky or another friend whom i haven seen in years. I will hate to wait the other tikets there are no refunds ;;( i could have use the $ to buy the honey lol anyway have anyone hear from Milky? i will send her a text.
BB dont feel bad i am trying to keep my head up. I am still at the office and my neck hurst the system crahsed so i am just waiting for it to comeback up.
Love you all and Jazz that picture portraits me so well too. lol
No perfect man for me either, but yesterday a lady from my building asked me " are you seen someone yet?" i looked at her and said hummm nop not yet" lol people obsevers us single and feel the need to ask as if that will help lol WTH?
anyway i am leaving system are still acting funny but at least all up and the off shore will take over now
)my neck hurts so much. i think my chair is even not right for me.
will post later. If Milky comes by let her know i am looking for her
0 -
BB- good luck today with the MRI and let us know how things go? In your pocket today.
0 -
0 -
BB- when will you get the MRI results? I hope everything is okay on the other side. Let us know?
I would just say no to your sister to be a house cleaner for your mother. From everything I have heard from you, it is all you can to take care of yourself and your own place. The child or children who live near the aging parent always have more to do than anyone else. Your sister cannot possibly know how much you are already doing with coming to visit once and awhile.
Asking you to take on more when you have your own health issues is not cool either.
Does your mother have the resources to get a house cleaner? There are many national companies that are insured and bonded that you can bring in weekly, bi-weekly or monthly. About all I would do is offer to help get that set up and maybe be there when the come in when she is there to help supervise or or so she does not feel alone. At least initially until she gets used to them being there. We helped to arrange that for our mom when the time came and she needed that help.
I hope you can have a good visit with your sister too. My sister has always been overbearing with me and tried to give me tasks to do. In the past few years, she has tried to pull me into stuff with her partners aging family, and I have stayed away. We came off 8 years with our mother the year we both got diagnosed. I will give her info, advice, etc. but won't get on a plane for them. Not my family, not my job. They are going back east this weekend for a few weeks and invited me to go, but I declined because part of it is an elder care trip for the partners family. I am tired of family pushing the stuff on me they don't want to do themselves.
Be strong, just say no!
0 -
BB- I figured the house cleaning was the tip of the iceberg and that your sister would want you to move in and be care giver. Only single women seem to be asked to do this job, it happened to me to when my mom became ill. Not of my sister, but of another family member who was a husband of one of my cousins. I had a FT job here, a new home I had just built, but he thought I could give that all up to move back east to move in with my mom and then I could "meet someone" by joining a gym. Only a stupid guy would come up with that fab plan. My cousin sat their in stone silence saying nothing. Ahh, but karma being what it is, he found himself in the same situation very recently where they were in Florida taking care of his family. Oh and no, they did not move their either. I saw them last summer at a family reunion back east and they seem most humbled by their experiences. Karma paid a visit (smirk).
The only way I would move in to take care of someone is if I got the house at the end. No one should be asked to give up their home to take care of an elderly relative. Where are you supposed to live longer term? You might want to suggest to your sister about finding some in home care for your mom or to start looking at assisted living places if she cannot stay at where she is.
The dating sites seem filled with casual sex guys and married folks. None of what you are sharing surprises me. I bet you are right the men without pics could be married or may not be appealing otherwise.
Did you stop going to the meditation group?
0 -
I just found out my writers conference I had registered and paid for that was to be held in late July has been cancelled. I guess they did not get enough people in the end to hold it as they were hoping. That happens, and I have signed up for yoga retreats in the past that sometimes have not made it due to not having enough attendees.
Part of me is disappointed but a greater part of me is okay with this. The timing may not be good now if I start new work in July with the opp in Denver I am going up to check out next week. And I now get a $900 refund back right, and that money will be very helpful right now. So although it is disappointing in some ways, I had been feeling timing wise it was not that good anyways.
I will take another writing class this year here in town instead (and for a fraction of the cost......)
0 -
BB - how's your r/s w your mom? how much care does she need? personally don't mind living w my mom (if she moves here not the other way around...haha)...but i am always very protective of my mom. pls keep us posted of your MRI result...
yes, only the ugly men need to go to online dating site...lol. nowadays, a lot of women are willing to tolerate men so they get away w murder.
jazzy - oh that sucks. but glad you got your money back to make use of it. how's the weather? hope no more rains...i am glad your job front seems moving smoothly...
i was having my training this week (the latest modeling program on the market to build a building 3 dimensionally, 13K to buy it...yikes). gosh felt so old. i was always the last one finished the mini task in the class. mind you i have been pretty good w autoCAD all along. even two old dudes were faster than i did....
0 -
BB- yes, I have had to learn to trust that when things don't work out, there is usually a good reason. There will be other writing workshops. And thanks for having faith in me I will get my book done.
I hope you have a nice day with the boys tomorrow and if you meet the guy, he is okay. Hang in there with your sis and the mom stuff.
June- after a very mild and cool May, it is warm here now (hitting 90). June is the hottest month here but not as hot as some we have had. Two years ago, we had a whole month of 100 plus degree temps in June. So I am glad this year is cooler. We may get some left over hurricane Blanco that is coming off the Pacific. I hope it does not hit when I am up in Denver, but from the sounds of it, it could be.
Enerva- hope you are doing okay girlfriend. Tomorrow is Friday, and hope you don't have to work this weekend. Did you find out anything on the real estate test you took before you went to VZ? Have you talked to your family since you got home.
Life- I hope you are doing okay. Is your younger son finishes with school this month (I know the college aged one is done for the semester). Have you finalized the divorce yet?
Milky- I hope you are doing okay. Lots of change for you. I hope the kids are doing okay, I know they have been upset. Wishing you better days.
Lily- I took your advice on something you shared with BB awhile back about writing one's self a letter. It was my wise self writing to my current self. It was a very cool thing to do, and think I will do it again. I thank you for sharing that idea.
I hope you are doing okay, and hope you are getting to walk the dogs and get some fresh air.
Good night everyone!
0
