Single life after a mastectomy
Comments
-
Enerva- i would cry too leaving Paris too. I hope to get back there again. My best friend from childhood days whom is the same age as me has a young daughter (she unexpectedly got pregnant at age 45), so her daughter is almost 10 now. When we saw each other in 2012, we talked about going to Paris when her daughter got older to do together. I am a sort of auntie to my friends daughter. I have a cousin who lives there and will see her this fall and going to let her know she may be seeing us one of these years again!
Also, I swim at the pool late sometimes too. I know you will be tired, but it may help you to release stress from your work day. I try to just let all the frustrations of the day go into the water when I swim.
0 -
BB- I had mostly good experiences in Paris, some rude people too. But I was also with my mother who had her own rude thing going on. When some of the artists tried to convince her to have a sketch of me done in Montparnasse, she was very nasty to them. I remember this one gal backing off and saying some not nice things to us in French. My mother was clueless, but we had a talk later about it. Let's try to just blend in mom, please! That being said, we overall had a great time there but my cousin helped us to have a great experience too!
I think you must have traveled there at a difficult time BB. I have had different experiences traveling to various countries and being welcomed as an American through time, and since 911. Sometimes I have said I am from Canada when asked, just to avoid the whole American thing. Enerva and Milky will like that one!
0 -
BB- I found the Greeks and Italians to be the best. But I have not been to Germany either!
0 -
hi I once spent a week in the black forest in Germany and I loved it. Beautiful people told and all almost albino compared to me lol I was an a traction freak with my long curly black hair lol
I ll love to visit Germany again Humm let's dream of more traveling .today I ll go swimming again u are right it does helps release the stress.
my niece told me today that the train to Marseille prices are ridiculous that I better just take national flight lol wth?
0 -
i thought germans were pretty nice, same w dutch. i had some rude experience in france but also some of the nicest there as well. well, ppl are ppl.....italians are the warmest...americans actually are quite easy going from my experience. except NYC...lol
work kept me busy....how's everyone?
E - though the trip is not for leisure but i do hope you get to have some time for yourself in france
jazzy - how's the visit at MO? hope its not eventful. mine is coming up next week. i've seen some spotting after stopped the tamox since april.....
0 -
June- won't be seeing the MO until the 27th. It is both for my 6 month check up and also will get a Prolia shot for the bone health issues. I hope your apt goes okay.
Are you going on an AI next? Or just stopping the meds all together?
0 -
hi ladies! Got my drain out today!!!! My bs says its an outstanding reconstruction up there with the best. Removed bandages and drain put steri strips on the drain site.
so pumped starting fills on august 27!!
0 -
Melp- oh that is such good news and to have your BS give the rubber stamp of excellent means a lot. How are you feeling? Are you resting okay?
0 -
Jazzy - I am seeing mine on the 30th....just a few days apart. Let's keep our fingers crossed
Melp - what a great news....so happy for you.
Life - hope things will take a better turn as time goes by. It totally sucks....
E BB - how are you?
0 -
June- hopefully we will have good reports out to the folks here end of July.
0 -
I'm definitely feeling less tight after drain removal jazzy!! still taking strong panadol during the night to sleep. BS advised to get off endone now that it is more than two weeks post op.
0 -
Melp- good to hear you are coming along. Good pain killers are key for rest after surgery. It is good you can ease off the heavier stuff. Continue to feel better every day!
0 -
BB- one of my favorite expressions is "sometimes a leap of faith is the only available transportation." I think you are putting yourself out there in all kinds of GOOD ways, and although it may be uncomfortable, there is no reward without trying. Glad you found a better dating site and that you are looking for work too. And trying to enjoy life is important too!
Having a week of music this week including a concert with Steely Dan and Elvis Costello on Wed, and last night with smooth jazz artist, Peter White. The music last night was just fantastic, venue great (the zoo), and just always have fun with the friend I went with. We got to meet the artists after (met White before), but there were others and it was all just so fun and with many spontaneous and unexpected moments.
Interesting guy story too. My friend and I were waiting in line to get a signed CD and this fellow was in front of us and struck up a conversation with us. After the signing and walking out, he asked if we wanted to go have a drink and talk about music. We did and it was fun. My friend Karen thought he was definitely interested in me, but I thought he was more interested in her. LOL! We said our goodbyes and he asked us both for our business cards. I hope he does not ask us both out, that would be weird! Anyways, it was a fun evening.
Hoping everyone has a pleasant weekend. Dog days of summer here in the US.
0 -
Hello, all. Sorry, I haven't been able to check-in recently.
I'm in a really terrible spot now. Without sharing details, I'll just say that I can't believe how bad things have gotten. Wow... the ex is so sneaky.
Enerva - Good luck with your trip. You have a wonderful heart.
Melp - Congratulations on the reconstruction.
Jazzy, BB, June, everyone - Hope you're enjoying your summer days.
0 -
Life- sorry to hear this. Sending you love and prayers for better days
0 -
thanks life! Sending you good thoughts for a better week soon
0 -
BB - Thanks. You're right - this is a difficult fight because we don't think like they do. These guys are ruthless. I'd like to give up, but I have no other options. This is a lesson learned too late in life: When I was working, I should've kept my own money aside. I should've never handed it over to him. I should've kept my own bank account. When I cashed in that $2,000 pension, I should've saved it for myself. And I should've kept working part-time in a paid position. But I did none of those things, so now I have no money, no job, and no references. And my car needs more repairs, so I can't go anywhere - not even to look for a job. The end of this story is going to be interesting, to say the least. LOL.
Jazzy & Melp - Thanks for your positive thoughts and prayers.
It seems everyone here has been having difficulties, and we're each doing our best to make life work. It's good to be able to vent here among friends who understand. Stay strong, everyone!
0 -
life - I am so sorry....you are in my thoughts...
0 -
Life- will you be getting the house in the divorce settlement? If yes, maybe think about selling it and moving into an apt? Might give you some cash by leveraging assets. Just a thought.
0 -
0 -
jazzy - lol that's a good one.
0 -
hi ladies., well something interesting happened this week.a friend I lost many years ago found her way back lol a lady who was my best friend in the past whom after she got marry to a rich guy changed and lost contact with her all of the sudden made contact by Google .I am not sure what to expect but sure I am happy to hear from her. Will meet her for lunch next week. Her kids are now 19, 15, and 9. I only know two of her kids which she had with a previous relationship. Then she married and had the 3rd well I ll meet her and see if the friend I once had is back or if it is the new her whom I can't stand lol
this person was in a terrible relationship and I helped her to leave him.she left him and I got her an apt at the building I used to live at. Me and another friend bought her groceries for 6 months and then she met a rich man whom took her and her kids .after that she changed became very snob and basically didn't care for our friendship since she had a very high class circle then.anyway all of the sudden I got a msg in Google she says she has miss me a lot. And I agree to meet her and cough up. I really wish my friend is back .we will see.
I am excited my trip is coming close now.
I leave on August 02.
I am been push around at work. My period is coming and I feel sick already but happy cuz that means I won't have it during my trip lol
life I am so sorry things are still hard for you and your boys. I remember how hard it was went my friend left the guy. With two small kids.
I can't wait to see them all grown now.
I must say I don't like the new husband cuz he was very snob but I am glad she found him and was able to give the kids a better future .her boy is in university now and the girl is in high school.
I ll meet her next week and ll let u guys know how it goes.
Maybe it's possible to recuperate the friendship we once had.
good night ladies
Melbourne hope you are feeling better.
Sending you all hugs
0 -
Enerva - You truly do have a good heart. You were so nice to your friend. Maybe she's changed now and is no longer snobbish. Sometimes people do change. I hope your meeting with her goes well.
BB - I hear ya'. I'm tired of fighting, too. I just want a job already. lol I hate relying on this guy. I've tried all sorts of ways to earn money online, but I earned nothing but pennies. Once the car is fixed, I'm heading back to this group that's supposed to help women find jobs. I'll let you know whether they're helpful.
June - Thanks for your kind words. Sorry about my whining. lol
Jazzy - That's so true about dating. lol. As for the house, I might have to sell it, but there's no equity in it now. I might move us into a rental instead.
0 -
Enerva, I am so, so sorry for your loss. There are no words of comfort, I know. I have 2 sisters - I've been reading your posts - I always expected a happy outcome. I'm so sorry.
0 -
Enerva- interesting about your friend re-surfacing. It sounds like you were a great friend to her, but that she was not in return. However, people make mistakes with others and maybe she has realized that. The rich husband may have had some influence on who she socializes with too. It sounds like you really want this re-connection so go to your lunch, be open, and see what happens. I assume she does not know you had bc?
Your trip is coming up fast! I hope everything goes well with your travel and time with friends and family in France. I think you need this trip.
December- I have not seen you here before and welcome to our thread.
0 -
Enerva - Ditto on what BB just wrote. You have a kind heart. You already gave so much to this person. Maybe her motives are pure, but... you're good at reading people. So, you'll find out for sure what she's all about when the two of you get together.
BB - Looking out for your mom is important. I hope she's doing well. As for me, I'll be looking only for part-time work.
0 -
E - I am not gonna lie I suspect she might be in need of your friendship. Something might not that smooth in her current life....hope I am wrong. But I am interested to find out...
Life - don't be sorry. We are here for each other. I just wish I could help. It gives me the chill to read how men just abandoned their wives and girlfriends after BC. What kind of men would just leave the mother of his children struggle like that....it's just wrong.
0 -
June- I found men to be very vindictive when they don't get their way. Some of my early boyfriends I chose not to remain with tried to return at later dates to initially hurt me by either shoving a girlfriend in my face or saying unkind things about my family. All that did was make me grateful I never stayed with them.
That being said, I can handle a jerk just fine. But agree when the men that do things to hurt their children by withholding child support or other needs that young folks have is just purely bad mojo. Anyone who hurts children, including letting them go hungry or without their basic needs met is purely cruel.
Hugs to you Life. We care here and wishing better days for you. Keep moving forward one day at a time. It is all you can do right now.
Enerva- I have a new thing I do when I see people I have not seen in awhile, especially if they ask me to do something for them. I just say "I am not sure I can commit to that right now, let me think about it and let you know." I find it really does weed out the takers from any situation. If they don't get a yes quickly, they usually move on. You are very focused on finding new work, have a trip coming up, working on your real estate licenses and you go girl!
BB- part of the reason I did not think that guy was interested in me the other night is that he kept mentioning to me he does tax work on the side. He is an engineer for one the national labs here, but says he does tax stuff for people annually. He mentioned it several times over the course of the evening. I think he was more interested in me hiring him to do my accounting work. But I have an accountant, a biz lawyer, and other professionals already established for my business. I would not hire an engineer to do accounting anyways. Both my friend and I own our own businesses, and he wanted our business cards so in the end, I think the interest was more around that anyways. There are lots of people here who work at the labs and have little side businesses. It was a fun evening, but nothing more really.
0 -
hi all, I am on the train now.
December thanks for your words and welcome.
life .June. bb.jazz I must be honest I also thought it was weird this friend coming back .at the same time it made me so happy to be able to reconnect with her. I won't tell her about my bc. I want to keep it to myself. I will just see what is her deal. I must say it surprised me. She told me that her best friend from the past which I once met just had twins .then she asked me if I still had the dogs and I said not they dye .then she asked me what I was doing and when I told her about my job she was like so surprised. I must say I felt a bit of weirdness but I ll meet her just to observe if she is a different person or if she is the same friend I once had. There was something else she asked. She askew . "Are you happy.?" I must tell you here the real answer was no. But I said yes why do you ask that? Then she went on talking about her friend who just had twins and how happy she was and that she thinks its crazy how now at 42 her friend is having kids.I was silent .I only said well if that is what she wanted then good for her .
I ll keep my secret about bc. The last thing I need is her feeling sorry for me lol I hope she is not a rude person now and that we can reconnect .I told her I ll love to exercise with her again we use to do weight at the gym and we were so much into exercise 15 years ago.she said she ll love to.
we will see.
I ll keep a positive attitude but I won't let her take advantage ither or hurt me .I am good now at reading people or I think I am. But wow how I wish I could get that friend back we were so close. I did miss her a lot at the beginning but I anderstod the new marriage had rules she had to follow. We shall see how happy she is now.hope it's all good. At the same time I told her I usually go walk by the lake and basically made it clear that we could meet to do outdoor activities. I have no interest meeting her husband or her new rich house .she now live in a huge home . And I imagine she has a close snob circle of woman friends lol
0 -
Enerva- I think you are wise to keep the bc to yourself with respect to your friend who wants to reconnect. She has not been in the picture for awhile anyways, and always think I don't want to be put in that place of dealing with others reactions and endless questions. Also very good that you decided she can meet you in the space where you are comfortable (exercising at the lake, etc) and not put you in the arena with the rich friends. You are a smart woman who gone through a lot these past few years and know you good about taking care of yourself. Enjoy the lunch, but if that is all it is, that might be okay too.
I also understand when the times were fun with a friend and you want those old times back. I went to one of my music events last week with a friend that I used to have a lot of fun with. But things have changed, and our time together last week was strained. I won't do it anymore, just not enjoyable.
Went to the BS today and everything went okay. We talked about some the usual things like do I need an MRI? Are there any more genetics tests I should do (done with that, quite frankly)? The only thing she really pushed on is for me to loose more weight. We talked about my personal training I have done the past year and the progress there, but she emphasized that extra weight result in more estrogen which counteracts the benefits of the AI drugs. She recommended a high protein and vegetable based diet. So I am going to get working on that next. I am now done with that part of the follow up, will see the MO next Monday. Tomorrow I see my PCP for my annual physical with her (can I have any more fun this month?)
0
