Single life after a mastectomy
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jazzy - i think you are so right on the vindictive part about men. some are nice but a lot of them are awful. after many years of dealing w men (mostly men in my family)...i am sad to realize men are emotionally inferior than women. may be it's their ego in the way. not sure why.
and that was wise of you to observe the man friend....i don't have a business and i also wouldn't have an engineer to do my taxes...lol
E - i think you'll find out what she really wants when you meet her. and agreed that you don't have to tell her anything.
this reminds me of a friend that i've knows since we were 14. the friendship was okay and we grew apart. then we sort of fell back together. though our mutual friend said she changed a lot but i must say must say most of time ppl don't change. she's the same can't-be-happy-for-you type of gal. she put me down just like before.....i gave her that last chance few years back and i came to realize that i am okay without her. i came to pretty practical about friends, if i don't have a good time w you i can live without you.
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jazzy - eating plant based diet is good. buy some nuts as well...i am not gonna lie, eating veggi all the time can be boring and feel the hunger all the time. i only eat meat when i go out now....especially in the summer.
i basically snack all day with fruits, nuts, dark chocolate at work....hahaha...
i was eating pasta everyday for a month back in april i think. yikes....carbs cause weight gain. so don't eat carb that often. did i say i love rice/pasta?!!!!!
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June- I actually eat really healthy and I do eat nuts. I am super careful with carbs because of blood sugar issues in the past (managed that by reducing carbs). I love pizza and pasta, but eat it rarely and not much of it when I do. Carbs are not my friend at age 55 and on these AI meds. I really love to eat a nice piece of chicken on salad or the like, but sometimes need something more.
Something else my personal trainer told me is to not eat too much later in the day. To eat most of the carby stuff before noon. I actually just lost 2 pounds this week, so I am making progress. What you eat and when you eat are actually important variables in all this.
I agree with you that personalities don't change. I have a BFF from childhood days who was always very bossy when we were kids. We reconnected 5 years ago and I went to visit her and her family in Austin one time for one of the music festivals. Guess what, fast forward 40 years later, still bossy! LOL!
BB- I hope your mom is doing okay. I am glad you are able to help her with apts with her doctors. Good to spend time with your mom.
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E - You'll have to let us know how the meeting with your old friend goes. You're smart to be careful.
June, Jazzy, & E - I'll bet that, after reading what BB and I have written about divorce, you're all probably glad that you stayed single. :-) By the way, I love pasta, too. I know we have to stay away from it as much as possible, but it is delicious.
There's a terrible case I'm reading about. I'll warn you all not to read further if you don't want to read a sad story. Here's what it's about: Last month, a police officer murdered his ex-wife here in the state where BB and I live. Well, in reading more about the case, I came across this information: She was treated for BC (the same year that I was), and she discovered her husband was cheating on her when her treatment ended (just like I did). Maybe we didn't know her. Maybe she didn't visit these forums. But she was one of us. Feeling very sad right now for this woman and her children.
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Life- that is a really tough story. He sounded like a violent man his whole life and was hurting her all the way along. That poor woman, an abusive husband, breast cancer, then murdered. May he rot in prison. Sounds like his cop buddies did not do more to help her either. That does not surprise me either, we have violent cops here in my city and they have been dinged by the Dept of Justice. My heart really goes out for those kids, who are now parent-less. No child deserves that.
Although I don't have regrets for not getting married, I wished I had been better at choosing someone who would have been a solid life partner for me. Most of the men I have been serious with through the years just were not able or willing to be the kind of man I needed. The men I meet these days always have an agenda, and are wanting something from me right way. It is why I don't really take anyone too seriously anymore.
Hugs sister. I hope you and your children never feel unsafe with respect to your ex.
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Done with the PCP visit. That went fine, just need to wait on the blood work.
BB- yes, I have always lead a pretty healthy life style. I have always been more vegetarian oriented, although I do need protein, never smoked, did drugs, exercised a lot, etc. I had a weight problem as a kid but got past that, but it came back in my 40s. I used to party a lot in my 20s, but that waned in my 30s. Heavy drinking in my 20s and extra pounds are the two things I have not done well.
I think I am coming down with a summer cold (ugh). Going to rest now.
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Jazzy - We don't feel unsafe. Just broke. But I'm heartbroken for that woman and her children.
There's some kind of stubborn virus around here that's been spreading. It's a nuisance with the constant stuffiness and coughing. I hope that a little bit of rest spares you from any summer colds.
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Life- my best friend back east has a saying that some people have hard lives, other people give hard lives. Seems to be very true. There are things that can happen to you in life that are so unpredictable like car accidents, natural disasters, even cancer. But the things people do to other people that hurt them so badly. Unfortunately, the US is a very violent society and shootings are just becoming an every day thing. That man destroyed his family and himself in the process. These things touch close to home for any woman.
Being broke sucks. I have been there in the past and it is very stressful. Will you get any payments in the end from the court agreements? If you cannot talk here, PM me if you want to talk.
I picked up some Dayquil and took that and will try to get on the other side of this. I have an important biz meeting tomorrow and need to be in top form.
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Jazzy - I forgot to say, I finally received the payment that was due almost two weeks ago. It seems there's a delay with the state agency that collects support payments. But, this time, I was ready for it. I made sure to hold off on paying any big bills. (Long story...) I also decided that I'll just have to wait until I have the money in my hands before fixing the car, that's all. My boys and I walked into town yesterday to buy food. The summer weather was nice, not too hot. It was a good day. :-) I hope that Dayquil does the trick for you. Get lots of rest.
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Life- that is good to hear you have some money coming, but know things may be complicated still. Hugs sister. Do you have growers markets where you live? Sometimes you can find some good healthy food there for less than the grocery store.
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Jazzy - There are farms in this area, and there are produce stands and farmers' markets, but not within walking distance for us. My car should be fixed by tomorrow, though. I hope you're all getting a good night's rest right now. Goodnight!
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Life- glad to hear the car is getting fixed today. That will resolve one issue for the moment. Sometimes that is all we can do, focus on one thing we can do to help ourselves for the longer term.
Feeling congested this morning, but nothing too bad. I think I have a summer cold "lite" and will be able to get through my biz meeting just fine. I had plans to meet up with a friend this evening, but postponed that for another day. I plan to go to yoga instead (good for what ails ya).
Wishing everyone a good day.
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life - oh i am so happy for you....
jazzy - i wish i could have more self control in terms of diet. i am cutting carbs now. but still drink....do you drink??
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June- I do allow myself a couple drinks a week, but that is it. Doctors told me no more than 3 so I stick to that. This week I am staying away as I have blood work with the MO next Monday and was thinking what BB said about alcohol and the liver enzymes.
Carbs are just not my friend in midlife! I do still love my wine though!
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Got a call from my insurance company today and they are reclassifying the hit and run under uninsured motorist, which drops the deductible way down. Car is going in the week of August 10th for scheduled repairs. One thing finally moving in the right direction.
Life- I hope you got your car fixed?
My summer cold is kicking my butt today, so taking things easy. Wishing you all a good weekend.
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jazzy - hope you'll feel better by now.
i drink about three times a week and sometimes more than a drink at a time. I sometimes hate this everything in moderation life style.0 -
June- still very congested today but keeping things easy. Hoping today is the worst of it.
I do feel I have had to give up a lot or change my lifestyle quite a bit to adjust to the new normal. I think the hardest thing about not drinking as much are some people around me who really like their booze and want drinking partners. I think I may have shared this before, but have learned to just say I am just following my doctors advice. That usually ends that conversation.
I bought a really nice bottle of french rose wine yesterday at Whole Foods. I love a good rose and have not had any in awhile. Once I get past my MO visit next week and this summer cold, I will partake.
Oh and I really like martinis too. Had a couple of those over July 4th weekend.
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hi ladies!
Today is my four year anniversary of my first cancer diagnosis. I'm celebrating surving (albeit with a recurrence) and nearly being done with reconstruction!!!!!!!!!
Having some pizza for dinner tonight.
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congratulations Melp!
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Melp- congrats on your anniversary and continuing on in a strong way! I hope the pizza was yummy!
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melp - congrats!! have a wonderful time!!
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Lily can´t wait either but just found out the department is moving so it will probably be longer than 4 years, on top of the 3 year sentence already served.......
I was told at my disability medical that i have some lymphedema and should be wearing a sleeve........when the weather cools down as it is soooooooo hot we are just going in to our third heat wave and have had no rain since May.....BUT I hate sleeves and know it will make me identifiable as a breast cancer person.............so i am tussling with this......as I hate being seen like that.......and don´t want to be announcing it to eveyone, yes i know how hard LE is to deal with but you can only tell by measuring my arms at present.....anyone any advice........?Are there any less obvious sleeves?
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ladies guess what?
milky Snr I are together by the lake just relaxing and laughing here is our picture.
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I ll post about my friend .as soon as I get home. Met my old friend then met milky
😆
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nice E.
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OK, i am home now lol i went to meet my old friend first and since it was close to Milky i send her a msg and told her where i was and she went and we met, we went to the lake and sat laugh and relax. She also made me eat carbs lol we sat at a little place and had a coffee and some good food.
So i met my friend from the past and it was nice, yes she did become a rich lady but deep inside she is the same person i know. we spoke about many thing including the straggles she had with the new life. Her kids are having a hard time now that they are teens and well i see she is not 100% happy. i see that money did improve her life over all but i don't envy it at all lol she marry for other reason and not 100 % love which it is not something i could do. Anyway saw Milky after that and had the best afternoon we talk and talk and laugh i made her lade on the sand by the lake and she relaxed also gave me permission to post these pictures lol
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i will now go back a few pages to catch up.
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Enerva- I love, Love, LOVE the pics of you and Milky! How beautiful both of you are! I have seen pics of you but never her, and you both look so good. I hope she is doing okay, I know things with the split were really tough on her and the kids. You guys may just be friends forever........
Glad you got to see your other friend too. Money can help a world of things, but rarely ever saw anyone be happy because of it. I am not surprised to hear your friend is not happy though, the fact she asked you if you were made me think she might not be. I don't see happiness and a permanent state anyways. If I feel happy once and awhile, I am good with that.
Thanks for sharing your awesome day with us!
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i am with jazzy as well. i also suspected she's not completely happy. but at the end of the day, there's some struggles in life that's enough for everyone to share......hahaha...but i don't mind having some $$$ though...lol.
love the pic of you and milky....how nice.
i recalled there's a convo my friend and i had....that i am a feeler, that i am driven by my emotions. i need to feel something to be able to do it. and not everyone is a feeler. i talked about this w my counselor and she asked me if this is a good thing or bad thing. honestly i told her it's something i got left that i feel it's part of me, and that i am being true to myself. if i don't have these feelings, what do i got left?! and that's why i was so miserable at my old job...i guess it because i am a feeler that i am more passionate about what i love/like in life.
he was making the comparison that my friend was and is able to hang on at her miserable job and not getting a new job. and when i was facing the same obstacle, all i could think of was to move on to another job. after BC, i don't think nothing is worth to spend years in misery to reach the goal when other options are available to me.
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