Single life after a mastectomy
Comments
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- love the post.
jazzy - no, she moved me to august. i am starting to having less and less respect for doctors......
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BB- enjoy your company and dates. The musician sounds very cool. Hope the other men are nice too!
June- I have been pushed before, happened the last two times with my BS. Once for a week, another time out for a month. What have noticed with follow ups that they make a big deal about YOU not missing them, but they have no problem bumping you and pushing you out a month when they want to.
I hope they did not push you too far out into August. Ugh!
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how's everyone's friday night?? i am home....playing with my new toy...
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BB - my sis worries about me too. calls me on a weekly basis....we talk. and the convo seems getting more and more interesting. we just need to find the right topics...
if you want to be on a dating site...do it. enjoy yourself. have some fun. just be careful...that's all i can say. been there done that....and i don't fancy men no more.
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oh BB, i am not sure about first meeting at your own place. did he give you his name? google his name....make sure he's not some crazy man....
OMG, my online dating history was pretty bad. let me put it it bullet points below...
- he's from FL in his 50s, in the oil biz. never been married. we talked on the phone few times and he's planning to visit me in NYC. from his email i figured out his name, found him on mughsot dot com. got so pissed off
- he was some professor at a film school. the convo went pretty fast to sexual. met him...Geez...his one eye was legally blind. and shorter than 5'8. i am 5'7. he's butt ugly. i am not ashamed to say i was ready to sleep w him but he's just too ugly to open my legs.
- met a so called oncologist....he used someone else photo. just had tea w him. not all doctors are good looking but most of them look pretty polished. and he looked like he's a janitor.
- met a guy who used 10 year-old photo. he was handsome in his 30s. but he's such a bum. he was a painter (not artist, just painting wall for a living). and he didn't age well, same age as i was. met me at a scary bar that i would never go in on my own. he told me he moved in w his ex within two months and she's a lawyer. what kind of woman would take him was beyond me. and who the hell just move in with a random person after two months?! and he tried to kiss me....jesus....
- met a trying-too-hard-to-look-young doctor. he's an asshole. he skyped me after 10. w his camera all the way up at the ceiling and most ppl use cam on their phone or computer so you can see their faces up close. i didn't take his call but i was offended. i felt violated.
- email/text back and forth w a grandpa.....he's a hag. what a waste of my time
- couple of BDSM guys reached out to me....man i am not into that kind of kinky sex no matter how horny i am
- a cute 28 year-old want to have something casual w me. he's cute but G....i don't see myself as a piece of meat.
- met a young buck 30 yr-old....my booty calls for a few times. i finally realized what all night long means = A F**KING LIE.
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Went to lovely outdoor full moon yoga tonight. Saw a friend there I have not seen in awhile. It was very nice. Put you all in the circle with me too.
June had a new toy! You go girl!
I had similar experiences with on line dating. Dating men I met through common interests not much better. People are not always what they seem.....
BB- I agree with June, please be safe. Meet the musician guy somewhere neutral, cup of coffee just to see if there is worthwhile conversation and interests. Then a real date. Someone who is really interested in you will be okay with that, someone with an agenda will try for what they want. It is good to get out and have fun, just don't let strangers talk you into things that don't feel good.
Wishing everyone a good weekend and safe travels for E over the pond.
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Sometimes I don't feel like going out, but then I push myself to do so, and have a good time. Tonight was an outdoor jazz concert that was very good, and although I went solo (the friends who were going with me had to bail), I ended up seeing two different sets of friends there. It was great music tonight and a nice time until the rains came. I was glad I went. I came home feeling grateful for the nice evening and that I made myself go!
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how nice jazzy!! i am planning to treat myself to a movie next friday night. Samba. it's sort of artsy kind of movie in french.....i think i'll go see it.
i like to go out either friday or saturday night....but sunday it's just me time. chilling at home and do nothing. haha...
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BB- sorry the new on line dating experiences are not good. If people want to meet you, they will make the time. You were busy this weekend, and maybe someone will want to meet you for coffee. Forget the musician if he cannot show up for you in a good way. I give you credit for even trying this, like June I am just not into meeting anyone these days.
Usually my MO looks for any cancer related signs, my PCP looks for other things. I don't always get an answer to things either, just had that experience going through my physicals. That being said, if your quality of life is that bad and they are tossing you back and forth with no resolution, you may need a second opinion of some sort?
I am glad you had some good time with family! Good to be grateful for the things that are good, even if few and far between, right?
I noticed last night I had pain in my legs, especially my knees. I think that was a reaction to my Prolia shot earlier this week. Ugh. Woke up and took aspirin middle of the night, and also iced the one bad side. Better today. The joys of being a survivor.
I am hoping E made it safely to France yesterday.
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BB - as long as you feel fine, don't worry too much about the blood work. those could be false alarms. my MO told me that. she doesn't do any scans unless i have some persisting pain last longer than 2 weeks.
it's very common that nowadays ppl on online dating sites are flakey.
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Best advice I ever got before I did on line dating was to not take any of the people there too seriously. When I tried the on line thing a second time, there was a guy I was going to meet but then my mother ended up hospitalized and was not expected to live. I contact the man right away to say I had to go out of town for a family emergency and would contact him to reschedule depending on how things went. His response was "um, okay, sure, family emergency, I get it." Well, he obviously did not believe me.
My mother pulled through, but I had to go back to see her a couple weeks later and told the man I would still like to meet him, and he agreed to reschedule to meet for coffee on a Sunday morning. Then the Saturday before, he told me he was going up to Santa Fe to spend the night with another woman and would not be back in town to meet that following morning as planned. It was fine for him to be unable to meet me, but thought the "spending the night with another woman" was a nice touch. Many of these people are game players and assume others are too. I considered myself lucky to never have to meet him. I am too old for the games.
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lol June!
BB good luck with the other dates.
I've been thinking of joining a dating site again. My brain is focused elsewhere but he's not where I am in the emotions dept, so.... I suck at waiting. Actually I don't do it.
But what kind of profile do you write when you're in the middle of a cancer fight? It'd surely be a short and sassy profile lol Can't deal with any BS right now.
Hope everyone enjoys their Sunday!
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BB- people need to accept others are not always available when they are. The musician sounds too pushy. You mentioned some other men, maybe move in that direction? Many fish in the sea?
Simplicity- your profile should be lite and positive. I would hesitate to share anything more personal about a cancer dx on-line though. I say that from a safety perspective. There may be people who would try to take advantage of a person during a difficult time. Better to share that in person once you meet someone, and think they can hear it. I personally am tired of people's reaction to my story, if I do tell them.
One of my friends has met a couple different men on line dating that shared their health issues right up front. Many shared it at the first get together, and it freaked her out. But I think here in mid-life, most everyone has something going on. I told her it was good those men let her know up early; many of those men have had heart disease/surgery. The men we meet have stuff going on too, and a good man won't be scared off by your bc. Some may have their own cancer story too. No one is without problems.
On line dating is tricky at best, perhaps a bit more so with a cancer dx. But you ladies go for it!
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BosumBlues,
I feel like I'm breaking into a personal conversation, but wandered here as I'm single and newly diagnosed.
I did some Internet dating years ago, but rule #1 is meet in public. NEVER let them know where you live until you've dated face 2 face for a little while.
Just as a retired person on lifetime pension, I meet users who want a free meal ticket. There are a few occupations to be even more leary with: actors, artists, musicians and politicians (if you have tons of $). The first 3 are notorious for living hand to mouth, and/or women. The 4th I don't have words for. Forgive my caution, but my last Internet date was with a PhD attorney who sang a wonderful song, but I ended up finding out his 15 min. of fame were on CNN, chasing the brother of his pregnant mistress with a shotgun. He was married at that time. The brother was protecting his sister, and the attorney had been disbarred for this stunt. I ran into him 8 years later online, and when I dug into his past, it wasn't pretty. It's the last time I used the Internet to date.
The best way to have someone love you for you is to meet them f2f in the beginning in my opinion. Be careful, hon.0 -
Leslie- welcome to our thread. Sorry you find yourself here with a bc dx, but glad you found our thread.
Your words are very wise. Although I have not on line dated in years, I have met men looking for financial support in some way from me. I am self employed and have a successful consulting business and my own home. Many I meet are just ready to move in right away when they meet me. I send them on their way.
That atty sounds like a piece of work. You were wise to check him out.
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BB tiredness that never goes away is drug related in my experience I am still more tired than non cancer people but it has reduced by 75% and I wake up feeling like I have had some sleep now, even if not raring to go..................
As for dating, I sleep with my dog now......he does great spooning
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BB - oh what an ass....let him be. i think you dodged a bullet.
leslie, simplicity - hello ~~waving~~ welcome to out thread.
jazzy - yikes....i think a while ago, a saw a quote...
"it's not worth buying an ENTIRE PIG just for a LITTLE SAUSAGE"
there's no way i would pay some guy just for a company.0 -
June- I am not interested in supporting anyone, never have been. Men who are looking for a free ride can look elsewhere. I need someone equally independent.
Lilly- your dog sounds sweet.
BB- the musician sounds like a player. Time to try someone else. Confidence is nice, pushy is not.
Whew, I am tired today. Prolia shot is kicking my butt again today.
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jazzy - it just baffles me that now more and more men are looking for free rides. what's wrong with being independent?!
i am also a member on another forum (nothing about BC)...and a lot of ladies were proud to be dating men who pay for everything....my ex told me if men pay for everything, they are expecting something in return. at the time i thought he was pulling my leg...and now i could see what he's talking about. i had a few older female friends told me women should always have our own money. and my mom told me about that a few years back. i think that's the best advice i've ever had.
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June- I have never had a problem paying for my own meal or chipping into a bill on a date. Many men in the past will always pay for the first few dates, once you are more into a relationship, I would often contribute or we would take turns (depending on if I could). If a guy is cheap on a first date, it does not bode well. I would rather go do something with friends or watch HBO than deal with a freeloader!
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June- I love those, especially about eating what you want and not getting fat! Thanks for the laughs!
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Ex boyfriend sighting today! My last relationship was five years ago with a guy who did a disappearing act on me. We have run into each other a few times since, one time awkward, the second time I did not care anymore.Funny, I was talking about something with that the other day and said I had not seen him in over 3 years and voila, there he was today. But there was no contact or conversation, and I am perfectly fine with that.
He was standing reading something near the check out area at the co-op when I walked in. I spotted him right away, I know he shops there so I always sort of scan the room when I walk into the place. I figured he would be gone by the time I checked out. I was there for about 10-15 minutes for a few things, and when I went up to the check out area, he was still there and in deep conversation with the check out guy. I thought "oh well, I guess I will end up having to say hi." But he was oblivious to me standing there nearby (or saw me and was ignoring the whole thing), and I was in the middle of the transaction with my debit card when he walked by to leave so I did not make eye contact. He looked at me, but said nothing, and walked on out the door.
Oh and I looked good today too, when I saw him. Nicely dressed, hair styled, etc. for my biz meeting right before. If one has to see one's ex, it is nice to be looking put together, right?
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BB- how frustrating. I hope you can find your data with the Cloud folks. Hugs.
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jazzy - that's a nice story...
BB - i am sure you can get your data back....it's in the cloud storage...
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hi. Well not easy to get wifi lol
A few pictures
C'est mami
Et papi
Ill n'adore pas les fotos
OK so much to say.
I missed my connection flight at Paris ended up arriving to Marseille 2 hours after the original plan.
Mami et papi are so happy to have me. Today a lady came by she is the daughter of my brother in law 's sister.
I have been to the market and making some progress with my french.
There is a nurse that comes every second day to check on mami. Papi' s memory ne March pas mais on est contante ausi.
I have been cleaning and also helping her with the foods preparation.
I also made a tiramizu for them which they liked very much.
I feel like I ll gain so much cuz all they do is eat lol and force me to eat.
Grand PA ' s memory is going fast. I manage to get him drawing and I wanted to show you a few of the pictures he use to make when he had no alzaimer.
Here are a few.
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Enerva- so good to hear from you and glad you made it there, although a bit late. You all look wonderful and can see how happy they look. Who is the other younger woman in the photo with you?
And enjoy the food there, it is some of the best anywhere! You can diet when you come home!
Viva la France!
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