Single life after a mastectomy
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Jazzy, you work in IT also?
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Ah. Friend can't make it, so RoadTrip!! I'm going to him. I love driving. Find it soothing. Maybe some answers will come to me in the 6hr drive? First time I have driven that far thou since dx. A bit nervous.
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Simplicty- that is too bad your friend cannot come to you. Six hours is a lot of driving so take it easy if you go.
Yes, I work in healthcare IT for the most part. Will PM you to talk more!
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hi all I was going well unto two weeks ago. Had this awful stomach pain so bad that I went to hospital. Did scans and found cysts on my ovaries. More blood tests and eventually they said they are sure the cysts are cancer. Got out of hospital last Wednesday now have to wait for a treatment plan to be worked out. Apparently a microscopic bit of cells must have gone from when I had bc and gotten to my ovaries they are larger than they need to be. May need a hysterectomy.
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Melp- I am so sorry to hear this news. Just when I thought you were on the other side of the whole bc thing. I hope you find out more soon on the pathology and that it is NOT cancer.
I went through something similar during my bc dx around my ovaries they were sure was cancer, and it was not. Came up during the CT scan after my initial dx. I was having a lot of GI issues too. Long story short, mine was not cancer, and hoping you get the same good news. I have had so many scares around things everyone was sure was cancer, and it was not. Only one time it was.
Praying for good outcomes Melp. Keep us posted, we are here!
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So sorry to hear that Melp! I'll be thinking of you. Let us know more when you can!
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Melp so sorry but it may not be I hate it when they pronounce without proper info.......good luck....xx
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yeah it just came on out of nowhere. I have had a fibrioid for years but no trouble with ovaries up until now. No idea how long the cysts have been there. Jazzy I have never heard of the situation you described!!! They were going to do a biopsy to get sample of tissue but according to doctors is really dangerous and things could go more wrong.
bb- wow didn't know you had a son. Yeah my genetic mutation pten has allot to answer for with all my health problems. Its a 1 in 200,000 condition called Cowden syndrome.0 -
Melp- I had kind of a freak situation with a couple things happening at once. But because the bc dx came first, they just told me they saw something in my pelvis CT scan and said it was probably Stage IV ovarian cancer. I figured I was done, but they said "we really don't know, we need to open you up". I had a ruptured appendix and a grapefruit sized abcess that had formed to catch the infection. Everyone was shocked, including me when I was in recovery. So that is why I say, they need to find out what is going on. They may suspect cancer, the only way to know is to get that tissues sample.
Sounds like taking a biopsy may not be easy. I had pelvic biopsies in the past with lapro. Is that not an option for you?
Let us know how we can help. Ask a lot of questions of your docs about this and bring family to help to your apts if you can. Don't let them throw another cancer treatment plan at you without a solid dx around the ovarian thing. Second opinions are good too.
We are here for you
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melp - i am sorry to hear it....keep my fingers crossed for you.
hi ladies....been very busy at work and just finished a deadline. i am going to take it slow this weekend. i worked till 1am on thursday night....sigh...
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June- I hope you met your deadline! I hate those long days and nights around those sometimes! I hope you get some good rest.
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Just checking in. At special friends house (plans changed), and all I can say is
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Simplicity- good to hear you made the trip okay. I hope you have more nice time together! Good to see things are going well!
You go girl!
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hi ladies it's my last night at marseille. My niece left today she was here for a few days. I leave in the morning .I have so much to tell you .
I almost die .I had some sea food at a restaurant by the sea and got so sick I was in an ambulance for a few hours .I was unconscious for a few minutes. Then had no oxigen and finally I vomit all I had eaten. Imagine cancer didn't kill me but sea food got very close to kill me. I must say I had no idea of any alergy I still have no idea of what was it . When we got home my niece also vomited so we are convinced that something in the sea food was bad and I just had no tolerance. I must tell you I am so scared now.I had never been so sick in a matter of seconds as soon as I finished eating I got ill
Anyway I am OK but I have a bad cold. I still managed to go out some more here a few pictures with my niece.
It will be so sad to say good bye to mami et papi tomorrow morning.
Anyway I am glad I am going home cuz I am sick with a cold but I am sad very sad to leave them alone here. I cry a lot today when I saw my niece take her train she left today.
Love you all
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E- I am sorry about the food poisoning. I have had it before and you do feel like you are going to die. I am glad you got through it.
Take care of the cold (comes with plane travel, ugh) and safe travels home tomorrow.
Life- I was thinking about you today, are you around and doing okay?
Melp- how are you doing today?
Lily- how are things your way this weekend?
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Good morning friends!
I have a hair apt this week and been thinking I need to cut my hair a bit shorter to have something more sassy, yet professional. My hair is blonde and shoulder length but definately think it is not as thick as it once was (the AIs maybe?)
Here is what I am thinking of doing. I think with my fine hair and it's color, this would work! Of course, I say to myself, what is going on with the other side though? probably a nice layers from the shorter side of the sweep over part?
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jazzy - love this style, very chic.
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BB- thank you and will PM you a pic with the way mine turns out! I go Thursday afternoon.
Congrats on joining the gym. When I started back and was so danged tired, I just did some light weights, swimming and yoga. It was much later I did the personal training and got more serious about getting my fitness back. Start where you are and it likely will help improve your energy levels. I am trying to do something with exercise every day.
Hope everyone else here is doing okay. I hope June is recovered from her busy week and deadlines and that E made it home okay with her flights (she still may be en route). Lily, Life, and all the other ladies here.
Melp- keep us posted on things your way and praying there is nothing more going on.
Simplicity- let us know how your weekend wrapped up too? It sounded like things were going well with your visit!
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Morning Ladies!
E-Hoping your feeling better today. How scary!
Jazz-Love the hairstyle! Hm, wish they showed the other side.
Weekend was.....great, fun, confusing. He was a bit inebriated when I got there. Unlike him. I really think he was just as nervous for my coming as I was for arriving lol Things got kind of hot n heavy Fri night
Hm. My bald head didn't bother him at all, he was kissing it and rubbing it. He even gave my 'problem child' some attention Then Sat was a mix of on/off. By Saturday night, he had 'shut down'. Kind of expected. We talked off and on all weekend about the situation. He would want to 'buy all in' with me, but given the distance, he can't 
He cares about me deeply and 'thinks he loves me too'. Sunday there was some hand holding (ahhhh), and I did get a couple little kisses before I left, and some really good hugs. Neither of us wanted to let go I evidently had a tail light and head light out, so he insisted on fixing those before I left. He also mentioned coming over Labor Day weekend
He knows that's surgery weekend. Not sure if he will or if it was more thinking out loud....He is so scared, and rightfully so. So am I. I have never been in a LDR before. I think we could make it work, but he has to believe that too-without my persuasion.
Going to try to take a couple steps back. Course, I've been trying that for quite some time now. He doesn't want to complicate things for me with all I have going on, and fears because of my temporary situation, I'm seeking a diversion of sorts. He reiterated that he is there for me whenever I need him, and how much he admires how I am handling all this.
Ahhh. A bit more confused coming home than I was when I left lol
One thing thou, it sure is nice to walk into a bar in another state and they know who you are and ask how your drive was
I think I am talked about frequently.Hope everyone enjoys their Monday. Busy two days of work and then the two little ones and I are off to the beach! Trying to get as much done (fun stuff and otherwise) as possible before surgery.
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Simplicity- whew, girlfriend. Men who want you, but then they don't. I have been there so many times, and it does leave one confused. Sounds he came on strong and then fizzled out.
I had 2 LDR when I was younger, both with men I had been friends with for awhile and then things moved to a different level. What I can tell you is that with those types of relationships, at some point, one person will need to move to keep things going. You can only drive back and and forth or get on a plane so many times for someone. Both times I was "expected" to be the one to move. Neither relationship worked out but for greater reasons beyond that. Expectations around the move contributed though. The people I have seen make it work did have someone move eventually. I know you said you want to get out of the area you live in. But you are still in treatment. You will have different choices once you get past this crap.
I think your friend clearly cares about you. I like that he made sure your car was ready for the drive back.
You decide what you want about Labor Day. If it would help to have him around after surgery, then let him come. Taking a few steps back is okay too. You can keep him as a friend for now, we need all the friends we can get during this whole journey. If something is meant to work out, it will.
The comments about looking for a diversion are not very sensitive though. No one understand how consuming the whole process around this, not knowing what to expect with every step of the process, all the emotions that go with a cancer dx. So what if you are looking for a little break from this whole thing? It is hard to make anyone understand what this is really like. Only other cancer patients really get it.
So what surgery is coming up? Are you getting your recon started?
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I don't mind moving once I am an empty nester, and he knows this, which is about 4yrs. Course, no one can predict where either of us will be in 3-4yrs. Anything can happen. I am just not willing to move hoping something works out. It has to be working already.
Diversion comments, I think that comment came or comes from fear of being hurt again. Doesn't want to get into something that may leave him hurting later. I can understand and don't take the comment as anything other than him verbalizing what he thinks, feels & fears.
I would love to have him here! Thou I have never in my life been that vulnerable or dependent. I was just surprised, given the on/off again, that he even considered coming surely knowing it would be an...emotional and vulnerable time for me.
This is very consuming and maybe a small part of me is looking to be loved & accepted by someone I think so much of at a time when I feel so broken. But the feelings were there prior to dx.
Mastectomy is Sept 4th. Believe I am going with the Dr's recommendation of single. So many reasons for that. Not sure that I feel good about my decision not to fight the insurance company for a double at this point, but again, there are so many reasons to go the route I am going with surgery.
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Simplicity- I agree about moving when you are sure things are working with someone. It sounds like you have a good timeline for when you want to make a move to a new location too. It is important to not forget our longer term goals, as they will come back to you after you are done with what you need to do. Good to not loose sight of that.
I think you are right about your friend just projecting his own stuff. I had to remind myself of that constantly during dx and treatment. Most everyone I told was good, some people tried to tell me what was going on with me despite being far away/distant and having no idea. It is true what people are saying has way more to do with them than what is going on with us. It is good you did not take that on.
You had your chemo before surgery. My sister had a single mx and then did recon that included a breast lift on the other side. She has been very happy with that decision.
Glad you have some time planned at the beach with your kiddos too!
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I hope it's a good call BB. I can't imagine.
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BB- I am sorry to hear you did not get good news on your phone call. Sorry you are having a low day. Hugs sister.
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BB- I don't think you have ever given yourself permission to just casually date and enjoy someone's company. To just go out and have a nice meal, go to a concert, etc. without is leading any place specific. You might try it without telling yourself anything needs to lead to anything more and see how that feels?
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Aw BB
I'm so sorry about the news. I'm guessing you have a hard time allowing people to do for you? I've been told through this (Im just a bit stubborn & independent) that people like to help. To let them do that. So, let your guy friend be there for you. If you have been honest with him, and he has no expectations, then let him be him, and you do you.
One of my good friends had a similiar story. She's been in a bad place for a while. Hard times. This guy has been there for her for 6 yrs! Through good times, bad times, very dark times. Now that she is in a better place, she said it was like someone opened her eyes. Im not saying that'll happen to you or for you. Just...do you & let him do him.
Sometimes....it's hard to see light when your at the bottom of a pit.
Cut yourself some slack. Be honest, but if he doesn't run, don't chase him away. Sounds like he is more than happy to be there for you.
(((HUGS)))
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hi ladies. Jazz love the hair cut. If I had straight hair I ll cut it. My curls are a pain .
I am still feeling a bit sick so got am apoitment this Friday just to check my blood and tell my Dr of my sea food poisoning event. Lol
My desk was a bit overwhelming today but I guess I knew what to spect
Hope all ok
A few more pictures from my trip
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E- glad to hear from you and sorry you are still not feeling well. Perhaps good to get checked out now that you are home. Usually you feel better within a day or so after food poisoning, but travel on top of that may just have you a bit worn down? Let us know what the doctor says. Work re-entry is never fun. Take care of yourself.
Simplicity- that is some great advice for BB. For those of us that been holding things together for a long time, it is hard to let people help (and you are right, they do want to).
Life- are you out there?
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BB- made me think of you and anyone else who had a tough day today.
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