Single life after a mastectomy
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BB- your approach to your date sounds right on. When I did on line dating, I always met men for coffee for an hour just to just chat and see if we felt there were more reasons to spend time together. Always paid for myself and like it that way too. Some dates that followed with some of the men, they did pick up dinner, we split the tab, etc. If men expect sex fast, then that tells you what they are looking for. Men who really want a relationship know that takes time to happen. Most people on those sites say they want a relationship. Let them prove to you that is true?
Because I live in the desert, I have to keep up with fluids all the time to avoid dehydration. Especially this time of the year when things are so hot. If you don't like water, keep herbal ice tea or other drinks in the fridge and just get in the habit of drinking fluids all day. Stay away from carbonated stuff, not good for the bones.
I hope there are no issues with anything there. My MO said when you have mets in the bones, you know it. Starts as a deep aching pain and gets worse. I hope you don't have to have a scan, but glad they are keeping on top of things.
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aw BB. No worries here. Whenever you're ready, or not, works for me
LL-how are you today?
Morning everyone else! Left all but phone at home, on purpose
Hard to see/keep up with whose posting. My brain lately, just isn't working well. Lots of trouble focusing and wobbly legs something awful!!!! Kept grabbing hold of the shower wall
Not sure whats up with that but taxol did do a serious number on my legs every chemo.
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Simplicity- sorry to hear of the problems. Maybe some left over stuff from chemo? Can you got see the MO to get checked out?
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I am on the train on my way to the mechanic to get oil and emission test for my car. Turned out my stickers ll expire this month.
OK the cold is still with me taking lots of teat with raw honey and just hoping it goes away soon.
Work is ok I guess the Manger is busy so he seems as if he does not have any interest on bothering me so I am very happy. It's so great to work and not have the stress someone is after you. For now it seems that way finally .
I ll start to study for my exam again 😠
I am happy summer is still with us the days are hot here and I feel so alive when the weather is like this. Friday I ll ask my Dr to do a blood test to check my levels .I ll tell her about my experience with the sea food and also my present cold.
Bb my mo see me every year and she did not want to do any scans or test. Now she is gone and o ll see a man on Sept 21. He will decide what's next since I am no familiar with him. Hope it is a good Dr. I hate that my mo just took off and now I got no choice but my file was given to this guy.
OK so I am now at the station
Ll post later
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Enerva- I love that the boss got dumped on with work the way he did it with you for all that time. That is karma, baby! Glad you did not come back to him pestering you. I always think bosses who badger their employees need to be doing their own work. Most competent managers I know don't have time to micromanage everyone!
I hope your cold gets better. Do you have an Vit C supplements? They seem to help me when I have a cold. Orange juice, tomato juice, other things with Vit C good too. Do you have access to a steam room? A sinus rinse can help too. I hope you feel better dear.
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I have had a valuable reminder once again that when someone says "trust me" that is their way of saying "I am about to lie to you about something." Not that I did not think it when I was told, but got confirmation today that in fact, it was all a big bold face lie. People throw the word "trust" around very commonly but trust has to be earned, right?
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you weren't wrong BB. If they don't want to move at a comfortable pace, they don't respect your boundaries. I'm the same way. Like to keep it online a bit. A lot of info can be obtained from a phone number these days.
I'm respecting my special friends boundaries, and I think thats important to him. Actions speak louder
I would suggest staying away for a bit. I know the lonely feeling sucks, but were here for ya!!
You have kids?
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BB- wishing you a better day today. I find things can unhinge me much more easily in the post BC world. I still have to work to get used to that. I have to talk myself down sometimes that some things that go on are just not that important (compared to the big things we know that are). I remind myself every day not to sweat the small stuff.
I think you did the right thing with that man. To push to talk on the phone out of the gate is controlling and manipulative. That is not the way it works on dating web sites and everyone who does on line knows that. He was trying to make you feel badly about not trusting him right away, when we know these people can be anything they want behind the screen. Not all are sincere, not all are up to good. Be grateful he showed his cards early so you don't have to waste your time.
Please let us know what you find out about your CA results?
I have a busy day out and about today. Waiting for an important call for a meeting with my big client here who may have some work I really want to do, and did some prep for that this week. But yesterday, I reached out to someone else with one of my partnering firms about something and she said they have some projects coming up they may need my help with so we will meet next week. Things are getting busier. Sometimes things are feast or famine in the self employment world. Bring on the feast!
Wishing you all a good day. Here is a morning photo from my garden. Flowers are mexican and evening primrose.
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Stopping in to say I met the woman from BCO this morning who lives here in my city. We have the same medical team and we had a good talk about everything from the common denominator to more. We clicked and she said she would like to have me over some time for dinner with her husband. Nice to have someone local to talk to around thing. I hope more women on this thread find other sisters to connect with in their area.
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BB- we just made the plan and also talked on the phone first. We finally worked it out to meet today. She was so very nice. She is on her second go around of this crap (new tumor in the other breast). Ugh.
My new haircut is just awesome. My hair looks so much healthier! My hair dresser said "you are going shorter, are you sure you are ready?" I said yes I am. My hair has looked awful lately, overprocessed, brittle, etc. It looks thicker now that it's shorter.
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any pic??
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BB- about 4-6 inches off the total length. I was ready. My hair feels so much better and I look better already. When my hair is shoulder length and healthy, it is nice, but it started looking like a mop. I feel like a new woman!
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BB- you probably need someone who can work with curly hair. Where I live, so many women have beautiful thick dark hair being of either hispanic or native american heritage. I am someone with very find blonde hair. It has been trial and error to find someone who gets that.
I had a stylist here for about 15 years who retired, and went through three new gals before I settled with the one I have now. She is young and fun and likes to help me find good hairstyles that make me look professional yet are fun and youthful. She does good work!
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BB- I wonder if there might be a hair stylist in your area that works with cancer patients? My sister's stylist does and it was fortunate for her when she got her dx and started chemo. When her hair started falling out, she went and had it shaved and then her stylist helped her as it was growing out and before she was ready to take off her wig. My sister always had poker straight hair, and it grew back in wavy. Instead of keeping it longer, she has kept it short and the waves remain. I think it looks really nice on her.
I think my shorter hair should be easier to maintain. I color mine too, plus it gets hits from the sun/heat here, and chlorine when I swim, etc. I saw her use a styling mouse to give volume to the top and some paste to help style and filled out the feathery areas. I will go to the pool later today and after that, plan to just see how it looks with a simple wash and dry. Usually shorter styles for me are less work. I like wash and go hairstyles!
I am going to a family wedding in NY in another 5 weeks and going to darken my hair a bit and go back for highlights right before that trip. My hair is very blonde right now, almost platinum and needs to come down a shade or two!
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I am going to be off line this weekend ladies and want to wish everyone a great weekend! Hope you all find something you enjoy to do this weekend as you have the time and energy and desire!
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hi all
Will find out treatment plan for ovaries next week. Possibly i could have some chemo and if it works well they may not need to do a full hysterectomy that's only an idea. Had a colonoscopy to check my bowel and no cancer there!!
Taking things one day at a time. am having my first expansion on my left boob on Thursday after recon so that will be fun!!!
Emotionally I don't really know how I am until I hear the doctors plan and decide if its the path I want to take. Family have been wonderful.
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I don't think Channing is all that, really. Cute but, eh.
I recognize that guy from a couple movies? Not my style really. Course, not like I have a style or type lol
My special friend made sure he kept in touch all week
Ah. These....feelings...are a bit....frustrating. Love stinks. Yea yea.
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I think he is
Don't think he does thou. Aw. BB. Hang in there. Haven't been around long enough to know whats going on. So sorry. Divorces suck. Thou Im so grateful for mine lol
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Bastard!!! I hear of that too much! Makes me sick. People don't want to hang through the hard times anymore. Im sorry
I am too. He is so scared thou. Past ladies treated him badly. I have a bad habit of going with it when I find someone Im so into since its so rare lol Im a 'long termer'. Don't really date as most have become relationships.
He would be a first long time friend turned SO thou. I love how it just grew over time. His actions indicate he's just as into me. Some of his words too, but then doubt creeps in...fear.
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Hoping everyone is doing okay here.
Simplicity- I know your surgery is coming up and hope you are feeling ready for that. It is nice your friend cares, but don't let him mess with your head right now either. You have to put you first!
BB- I hope you can find a support group you like. I agree that it should be less racially divided though, WTH?
I am getting busier with some work stuff so I may not be here as often. Focusing on securing a couple things I am close on and getting back into the game. Don't want anyone worrying about me here too, but will pop in as I can.
I saw this today and it made me think of all of us whenever we have something going on. For me it has been some spinal pain, but felt something "pop back in" today and feeling better.
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Wish I could 'like' that Jazz & thanks for the reminder. I needed that. I was talking to him on the phone when I read it too. Perfect.
BB, I need to quit smoking too:( Hard to do especially when you're so stressed out.
I'd like to think my eyes are wide open. FRB changes you. I seem to...see..things alot more clearly than before. Somethings. Not all.
He's been very honest with me. Hasn't led me to believe anything. I'm aware of the realities of the situation, sucky as they are.
Whatever will be will be. It's important to him that I know he's there for me through this, as a friend. I'm just glad to have him in my life, however he is.
Glad to hear work is picking up for you. Hope what you're working on pans out Jazzy!
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Thanks BB. I am just impatient lol Yea, he is definitely a keeper, even if it stays at friendship.
Frustrated this morning. Heard from the surgeons office and I should know by the end of the week if I am good to go for a double mastectomy. I am sure you ladies know it all has to be pre approved through insurance and that does not guarantee payment.
Wish I knew what the right answer was. Aggravated that no decision guarantee's squat!!!
How are you feeling this morning BB?
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BB- No they may not. It has to be coded as medically necessary by the surgeon. I had initially opted for a double and had become emotionally ok with my decision. And surgeon said I could opt for a double. Then, meeting her after chemo, her and onc only recommended a single. I didn't think at that point that I could still make a decision? Who knows all going into this BS. So frustrated I didn't know more. I'm sure there will be more of that on the road to come. How can anyone know the right question or the right way to ask all the questions with this chit?
Even more frustrating is knowing that no decision can guarantee squat. Is it better to have a boob for FRB to attack in the event it comes back? It does like the nipple (so says my onc). Or will it never recur? And if it does, where will it go? UGH.
Hitting the angry phase of all this. I am just generally pissy these days!!
Does anyone have another method for contacting Melp so we can make sure she is ok?
Careful not to push yourself too terribly hard with the exercise BB. Thou, Im willing to bet it will feel good to get to the gym. That's what I hear anyway lol
Great advice. I'm just taking things as they are right now. Like I said, I am just thankful to have him in my life. Although, he is a great kisser
Mhm. May I have some more, please sir? haha0 -
Hi ladies!
I too am single and have basically been a nun for the last 15 months. I was dating someone when I got diagnosed but we broke up just before my double. It was honestly for the best, this is a time that you need to be selfish and think of your well being.
I'm hoping to meet someone great who will appreciate the new me. I still don't have nipples, so that's a bit of a mental hurdle for me. But, I'm also just not looking to date the way I used to. I want to meet a keeper who is cool with starting out holding hands for a bit. I need to take this slow and I do think the right guy will get that and be cool. I think the pool of men will be small but they're out there.
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Me too BB. I hate to hear all that. I hope you know, as much as it hurts right now, you are better off and deserve so much better!!!!
Hi Amy! I'll be without nipples for quite some time, possibly just one with a nipple. Still trying to work out my surgery details.
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Hi Amy-welcome to our thread!
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hi ladies. Sorry I was not here for a few days I got a few things done this week. Had family Dr appointment told her about my fainting in Marseille over sea food and also asked her to check my chest since the cold has been bad. She said nothing for my cold I must let it be
I asked her for a blood test to heck all levels and also asked her to give me a referral to an alergy Dr. I want to know if I am alergic to sea food or if it was poisoning. She says she think I just fainted due to heat and maybe my cold etc this Dr is not very wise .if it was her who past out and vomitEd all the sea food I bet she could be more worry but not she says it was just normal. With my history fainting is not normal and reacting like I did is not way normal. So I insisted and she gave me the paper to do my blood which I went to a lab on Saturday. So it's done .haven't heard anything yet. Also I haven't heard from the secretary with regards to the referral to the allergy Dr. I started taking biotin and d3 vitamine again
I must be honest I am not feeling 100percent ok I need the blood test to be calm the scene at that restaurant really scared me.
I am now on the train. Last night I baked a quiche and it turn out exactly how I eat them in france so I am in jazz I ll now cook those all the time .love them
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BB you ate right me too i think i need to figure oit my allergies. Well I called in sick today I got an urine infection. Yesterday I went to a walking clinic cuz I had minor symptoms and voila the Dr who saw me gave me antibiotics and the kind that is good for everything else so I think it ll help me clear the sinus too. The name is Ciprofloxacin 500mg twice a day. I hold myself at work due to long conference calls and I bet that made me sick on top of the cold. I am so glad this female Dr at the walking clinic gave me these medicine. When this Dr. Asked me do you have any allergies I pause and said not that I knows of yet.
I haven't get any call for the allergy Dr. But I hope it is soon.
How is everybody today?
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BB u are so funny. I have been watching videos of a Cuban lady who does many different stiles for her hair. I ll give you a few lol u don't need to understand her just watch how she style her hair
Ver "Ondas sin Dañar el Cabello - Como Rizar el Pelo de Forma Natural" en YouTube -
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Watch "Tutorial Peinado Coleta Alta - Despreocupado, Romántico
" on YouTube - 0
