Single life after a mastectomy
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Hi friends- wanted to pop in and wish you a happy Easter
E- my birthday was Saturday, but did not feel that well during most of it. I debated about coming up here but was past the time limit to cancel and with the lodging and treatments, would have been out quite a bit. Given it is just a cold (although a tough one), I chose to drive up and did some soaking and had a treatment yesterday. I usually go out at night to soak under the stars, but did not feel well enough to do so last night. So I went to bed early and think I slept like 10 hours!
Today I am feeling much better today and think coming here has done me good. I am less congested and was able to get out this morning to soak and then had a really great treatment this afternoon- a massage, scrub and hot oil hair treatment. The therapist wrapped my head in herbal infused towels with the hot oil hair treatment and said is should help my congestion (and it did!). I came back to nap for an hour and now up, and doing a few things before I go over to have some dinner.
So E, about thinking about the future, I will say I am not one to plan too far ahead anymore. I think having the bc just made me not think about having a long life. Maybe it is PTSD and the fear of re-occurrence? We all have it. Is something changing with your health or are you worried about a symptom? You have been super busy and know you are tired. Be sure to take care of yourself with the changes going on with the move, etc. Sending you best wishes on this Easter Sunday for good health and a peaceful heart.
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Hi jazz happy late birthday wishes.
I am glad you are feeling better. Today it was 12 and sunny so nice .I went for a walk and I ll get my tires changed tmw morning since I have the day off . I was supposed to move but since the apt is not ready I just wanted to stay home and organize a bit. Yes u are right we can't plan for the future is so wierd though . No I am not feeling any symptoms is just the thoughts that came to mind. Not sure why. But I am OK spring is finally here and that ll make me feel so happy.
Hope you continue to feel better
Sending you all hugs and happy Easter! !
G night
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hi jazzy yeah i got out on saturday. Am with my sister and my nephew in brisbane for easter time. He has grown so much since i last saw him!!! He is gorgeous!!
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Melp- I am so glad to hear that you are out of the hospital and were able to spend some time with your sister and nephew. That is really great news. I am hoping you can continue on your path to wellness. Do take super good care of yourself.
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Im still there. Feeling ok still on anti biotics for my infection.
Hoping that the radiation to spine should work
Good to hear you are well.
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Morning ladies!
Happy belated birthday Jazzy! How were/are those hot springs?
Radiation sucks. For me, I had trouble 'baring' my chest every single day with ladies faces inches away from my...deformed chest.
Did I miss something? Is BB having to do Rad's for something? O I hope not! Been on my mind BB. Hope all is well.
Life, Melp, Nice to see you both in here. I hope so too Melp. How is the infection doing?
Life, I have additional scars because of the radiation. Sure everyone does. Areas where the burn was 3rd degree
Once they do recon, the scars inside the um, fold, will be more visible. Whatever. So frustrated lately.We had a nice time Easter weekend. Spent a lot of time together and with his family. My kids were at their dads. Blending families is hard.
Enerva, sorry you haven't got to move yet. How is the nephew doing?
Hope all have a great day. I'm trying to get my attitude out of the shitter.
P.S. Please keep my cousin Tommy & family in your prayers. He just had his port taken out about 3-4 weeks ago after beating S4 colon cancer. It's back in his liver and lungs
They have their 2nd child on the way. He is only 33. Hearing of too many recurrences and diagnosis lately. Sad.0 -
Melp- I remember you were going to have the rads to the spine. When are you scheduled to have that?
Simplicity- the hot springs were very therapeutic. I have had a very bad cold since last week (on Day 8 now so the worst has passed). The waters, steam room, treatments all helped me to feel better. This cold is the worst in many years, plus I have had allergies and asthma on top of it. The trifecta of March. Today the winds may be up again, which can stir up a lot of pollen and dust. March is tough on my respiratory system.
Glad you got to spend Easter with your new man. Perhaps the kids need a bit of time to adjust to the new relationship? I think holidays are a lot of pressure for everyone and perhaps with time, everything will settle in for all of you. That is my hope.
I don't think BB is having any rads. She has some things going on with her family so we have not seen her here in awhile. We hope things are better for you BB.
I got back from my weekend get away mid day yesterday which gave me the time to unload, do some laundry, get some rest in and then worked to finish up my tax work last night so we can finally file for myself and my business. That will help me to go into the short work week in a better place. I am still pretty congested, and know today will be hard re-entry (with only one short day off), but told myself no extra hours today. Need to take care of me and get better. I do feel well enough to go in, I was not so sure of that yesterday.
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simplicity - still on anti biotic but it seems to be clearing up.
The radiation will start after easter. I get home on the 5th of april.
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Melp- I hope everything goes well with the rads. We will be here for you as you go through this. You got this girlfriend, although the whole ride is so darned scary.
Simplicity- I forgot to say I am so sorry about your young friend's Stage IV colon cancer. Just like so many of the young women here on this thread and throughout BCO, too many young folks getting cancer. Keep us posted on how he is doing. And with a baby on the way too, just so hard for that young family. They should be celebrating the arrival of a new family member and not having to deal with this. Sometimes life is just not fair.
Enerva- this is for you, the hot springs you want to come to some day!
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Thanks Ladies. It hit me hard the other night. I just cried and cried. To fight this once is just too much. Twice or more? Ugh.
That's good news Melp, except for the rad's. Are you moisturizing your skin in preparation? It seemed to help me. I have 2 whole bottles of miaderm left and some radia gel packs if you want them. Came in handy the other day when E burnt his hand. Instant pain relief.
BB, hate to hear you are so down. I am just generally pissy lately. Angry. Scared for recon, and the changes it will bring (tired of changes!!)
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Hi ladies I am so sorry I haven't been here often.
Melb I too am thinking of you.I wish there was no need for rad
but also want to be positive it ll help u. Every body is different and it may be the one to help u. Simplicity I can't imagine what your relatives are going through . My heart goes out to them and u are just as scare as all of us. But we must pick ourself up and live what ever we can now . I am trying every day I feel like throwing everything to the garbage grabbing a bag and going to cancun and never come back hahhahahah I am helping my nephews who are there now. I can live through their eyes and experiences .
Jazz thanks for the picture I love it. One day I ll go there.
OK I have good news at least. I finally found a couple who made an offer and I verbally took it for my apt. I ll rent to them for 1850.00 I ll put almost 400 from my pocket but at least I won't have to sell right now.
The bad news is that still I don't have an update as per when ll the other place be ready. My place ll be rented may 01. I ll prepare the lease document tmw and hopefully all ll be ok.
I have been extremely busy at my shirt job and with school but me too I have been down no sure it is the dame spring which is taking for ever to arrive. I can't take one more day of cold.
Good night
Love you all
Bb hang in there all must change soon I ll keep playing the lotto I keep thinking how it could turn our lives around lol so sad that is one thing I keep waiting for
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Morning ladies.
BB, I'm having the DIEP flap reconstruction. They won't be taking my muscles, or from anywhere other than my belly. I already have a lot of scars there. Evidently, my appendectomy scar will be up on my right breast lol But the Dr said it won't be visible from the outside? But will have the scar tissue it already has on the inside? Idk. I don't understand how they do this stuff. And I keep forgetting I have to have 2. One for the recon and one for the reshaping or gathering of the excessive skin under and around my arm pits. I've had a lot of previous surgeries and just BLEH!!!!
Enerva, glad to hear something has worked out for you. A bit of extra pocket money never hurt anyone! Thanks. His father, well the same thing happened to him a couple years back. He was older thou. My cousin is only 33
We've never been that close, but having cancer close together, we've talked more lately. I think my anger has to do with still trying to adjust. Still can't do as I use to. I poop out quick, and come Monday, especially if I spend the weekend with E, I am flat out exhausted. The man is 14 yrs my senior and still runs circles around me. Plus I was invited on the family vacation but have chosen not to go for medical and other reasons.
My butthole father texts on occasion but, you know, he's too busy traveling everywhere BUT NC
Hurts. Wish I knew how to get over that one. Hope all have a good day! My night shift night so I'm about to roll back into bed for a few hours.
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Good morning friends- pushing through the residual of this cold. Just kept this week simple but hoping to have some energy to get to the gym tonight after work. I need to get my body moving again. One more day at the client site this week, some work from home tomorrow, and then the weekend is mine.....
Enerva- congrats on finding someone to rent your place. Covering the mortgage and cash to boot, you go girl! Part one is coming together, now continued good wishes for the apt to be ready in time so you don't have to move to something interim, and then move again.
Simplicity- I found the time after treatment to be the hardest with other people. Trying to go back to what we used to do, or to try to keep up with others (through their expectations or our own) was the hardest. I know I have shared this before, but I feel there is no real preparation for the "after treatment" part of this. You get spit out the other side of things, feel fatigued for way longer than you expect, struggle to go on.
Please be kind to yourself and know that everything you are experiencing is normal for this process. And sometimes if we find doing something for a whole day is too much, we need to tell others that and say "a shorter outing is what is best for me right now." You decide how much you can do, don't let others decide that for you. Others have no idea how you feel after all this and also think we just snap back. It is not like that at all as any cancer patient can tell you. And you still have recon to do in May, so be sure you are not overdoing, which is hard to do with family, work, etc. If I had a dollar for every time someone said "you are all done with all that now", I would be a rich woman. Boundaries are really important with recovery.
BB- good to see you here and hoping things are better for you, your son, and your mom.
Melp- thinking of you and hoping you are resting up to be ready for your rads next week. Sending much love and hugs to you sister.
Wishing everyone a good last day of March. Into April we go.
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well ladies I send the documents to the tenants hopefully they will sign so I can really take the listing off. I won't get any extra cash instead I will pay from my pocket in order to cover but I ll be able to manage that. I just don't want to sell it yet.
I am so looking forward to tmw
Today my 2 nephews rented an apt in Playa del Carmen finally and all should start working out towards finding jobs and starting a new life.
One of them is already working at a hotel
I am very happy looking forward to visiting them next time I get a chance
Hope all ok I am super tired
G night
Sending you all thought of health and strength
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Enerva- I hope once you are settled and maybe between your classes you can get to Mexico to see your nephews. Some time at the beach would do you good, girlfriend. I know you have been anxious for them as they moved to a new place to start over. Things sound like they are coming together for them too.
Good luck on the contracts getting signed.
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happy Friday my friends .
I am on the train as usual I can't wait to stop taking this train lol
Once in the new place I ll walk to work in the summer and it ll do me good.
I am so tired and tonight I have a release at 8pm so I ll log in from home to cordinate.
Hoping you all have a better weekend
I had a few msg from my ex . Telling about his machine which is now in testing face and he says he is getting there. I wonder why he keeps me in the loop . Maybe he thinks after he makes it and a reches his golds maybe I ll be waiting 4 him? So wierd how men think we are so loyal or so stupid lol I never have giving him any reason to believe that. I mentioned to him how my nephews moved to Mexico and how I wish I could go with them eventually and he was like "what?" What are u talking about? You can't go " I responded off course I can. Lol
Anyway is hard not to respond .most times I ignore his msg but sometimes I feel rude lol
Anyway I am trying to find a property for a lady friend who has 3 kids and can afford only a place under 300 k but wants a 3 brooms lol in a specific area where properties with 1 or 2 b rooms sell foe 600k
Good luck to me
Have an amazing weekend friends
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E- I hope you got through your release okay. Single men seem to like to keep the door open with women always. If you decide you want to leave Canada some day and go live in Mexico with your nephews, my guess is you won't be letting him know. Walking to work sounds marvelous!
BB- good to her from you and glad things are better. Good to hear your son had a win that will help him. I wish you the best with the back injections so you can feel better.
Got a wee bit of winter going on here this morning (some mixed rain and snow). I bought my first flat of pansies yesterday to put in my planters this weekend.
Glad to be to Friday, and hope to push through the rest of this cold. Have a good weekend folks.
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Evening ladies
I don't think you're being rude Enerva, you're being honest. Be where you think you need to be. I'd love to be somewhere other than where I am. But for now, for a couple more years, it isn't my life. I stay in these parts for my kids only.
That's great news about your son BB! Scary about the Dr. You have no other options? Ugh!! Thanks BB & Jazz. I'm doing ok, but have had to back out of a few things and I'm good with it. E is amazingly patient, always has been. It's a two way road. He own 3 businesses so he stays very busy and works a lot! Fits perfect with my introvert side. Things are going great with the expected bumps and bruises.
Had to put down my senior dog yesterday
I made the right choice. One I've never made before. But her heart was enlarged, her lungs kept filling with fluid and the vet thinks she may have had breast cancer. The |€€*}€!**~€,!€~> !!!! irony. I found it about a week ago. I hadn't been the best fur baby mama this past year. Didn't realize how much water/fluid she had retained I didn't notice it until the fluid went down. I will not treat any of my animals if they should get cancer. Nope. Not after what we've all been through and we can talk, we can object and vocalize. Got other bad news about my mom. Not sure how I feel about it and not ready to discuss.
BB, after being a single parent for 13 yrs, this is......hard isn't the right word. Challenging? The last BF of 5 yrs wasn't very involved with my kids. So far, E is, as much as he can be with work and his own 2 (23b, 22g). Oddly, it seems so easy with him but maybe knowing each other 8-10 yrs (neither him, nor I, or our mutual friend S can recall exactly how many years lol Life has been crazy) helps that. He's always felt for me but I, I wasn't ready. I knew he'd want commitment. He professed his love for me years ago. He's such a doll and I don't have those butterflies. It feels very calm and just flows. We're still learning each other. All those years, most of those encounters (never had been intimate before dating him now), were social gathering environments. I feel lucky.
Emotionally exhausted. Took in a lot this week. Spending tomorrow processing and cleaning. That's the plan anyways.
All you ladies have a nice evening
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I'm feeling ok at the moment. Spent Easter it's my sister and my nephew in Brisbane.
The family came together for my newphew a first birthday. He got lots of toys and clothes. The party went off really well. Starting spine radiation next week. Some people have said it does a really good job on spinal tumours so hope it does really well and kills my tumour for good!! My cellulitis seems to be getting better.
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Melp- I am glad to hear you had such a good time with your family for Easter. Celebrating for the little one sounded like it was good for everyone.
You sound like you are on the mend from the cellulitis and also getting rested up for the rads. It is good to hear this treatment is good for this situation. I pray it goes well and that it helps to shrink things up, take away any pain, etc. Do you have any pain in your spine from this tumor?
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So much going on for so many, Melp you seem so strong and calm, BB glad you are back
I am single but don´t feel like I have a singles life..........but I do feel very alone, often times though I prefer my dogs.......but then I feel guilty as there are too many of them to take for a walk every day, they all get to go out in the garden as much as they like tho....I want to get back in to walking regularly as am gaining too much weight but finding motivation for anything really hard....... for some strange reason I realise I have lost so much self confidence last few years, and tomorrow is the anniversary of my official diagnosis...........
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BB- it is good to hear from you and glad you are taking good care of yourself. Sometimes the changes we are trying to make cannot be done all at once, so I think you should give yourself a pat on the back for eating better, staying hydrated, etc. It sounds like your body has responded nicely to the changes too?
I think creating boundaries and maybe making new ones is a big part of the post bc period, at least it has been from my perspective. I have had to learn to say no a lot more to people around things I used to say yes to. The only middle of the night calls I am going to answer is from my family, with the assumption there is an emergency. I would not (and don't) respond to anything else at that time. Too bad your friend does not have better boundaries with the time he calls. I did a lot of work in therapy awhile back and boundaries is something they can help with. I wish you the best with this.
Lily- congrats on being another year out from dx and another year closer to the 5 year mark. The first two years for me were the biggest with getting through the anniversaries. I can still remember every date associated with my cancer care from diagnosis too when I started the AIs. Sort of just there for us all, I suppose?
Single life is different when you are older than in our younger years, even without the health issues. I have met people who have the perception my life is all fun and games, when it is nothing but lots of responsibility. You are doing fine dear, just still taking it slowly as you come through a whole lot the past few years.
I am glad you have the sweet dogs too, they sound happy to be with you!
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Hi ladies I just wanted to say hi. I am glad bb is back.
I had a bad weekend but I know nothing really compares to what many here are dealing with . So let's just say I am with you all.
Hoping for a better week ahead nut deep inside I wish I didn't have to get up and go tmw.
Bb don't worry you did the right thing you are very stressed and u need to care for you . If your friend can't understand then be it. I am like you I have no patience for bs any more I sometime can't even deal with my on shit so I am out of reach for the world I must say these tread is my only group of real people I care fore I no longer chat with any other friends. The one from Denver seems to be in another planet or level and I have no intend of reaching there ither.
I am making a coffee cuz I came back from the shit apt in the city and after all day cleaning with bleach the kitchen I came home and I was done lol felt sleep for 2 hours I am so tired
Need to review a few things for work and school tmw. It ll be a long day won't get home till 10:30 pm
Love you all will text tmw
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Melp, we'll be thinking of you this week. Glad you are feeling ok and had a good easter.
BB, yes, he is. And I looked for my M this morning for a brief second before I recalled
Vent away here. That's what were here for, right? To help each other through some of this mess? BB, don't forget to take care of you. Have you tried any types of smoothies? I don't think you were wrong BB. If we don't keep our boundaries for our own health and well being, who will? This is an issue with E, but hasn't been a big issue yet. Thou he says he understands, there are times it seems he forgets (and I am sure he innocently does, I do too).I hope everyone else is rested up (I'm not) and ready for yet another work week. Bleh
Have a good day ladies
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Lily, the 31st of March was mine
I was an emotional roller coaster for the day. Not sure if I should celebrate or mourn. 0 -
Hi hi got some good news I must share with you.
So today one of my nephews made his first sale.
So they both got a job at a 5 start hotel doing sales . And today one made his first sale on his first day. Last week he was on training and today was his first day at it. And he sold Usd 15k
Lol I am so so proud. Plus that means they won't be needing my help much longer which is so good cuz I am so broke as it is .
But all was worth it
I was right they will go far in that country I am so happy
G night
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ha ha bb me too I want to goooo
Is not supper easy but I think we could sell a lot lol and look pretty doing it ha ha ha
Ok so here is how it works you are train by the hotel they do the immigration papers so you get a job permit . In the min wile you wait for the papers they take you and train you show you the entire hotel and all that is included on the share packages. The way it works is that rich people who has money to blow go to those hotels these are 5 start and higher so one room could cost over 5k a night but there are many options so the hotel takes the sales people and train them .then every day you are a turist guide the hotel a sign the client to you. Here is why I think is easy .
The fact that a client will be asin to us.
That alone is a plus. So every day you expend the morning with the client guest. Omg I ll love that job. Cuz I am dying here lol
Anyway let's wait and see how it turn out in a month hahhaha bb I am for sure willing to go so if the oportunity comes let's goooo
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That's awesome news E!
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bb I wish I could make things better.
I had a crapy one too. But managed to get my tenants papers sign then realized one fking page is not signed I must get it sign tmw. Sometimes our life is just fked and u made me lagh about the outer limit episode hahahhaha I heard you girl I used to love watching that
G night all
Tmw I go to college so won't get home till 10pm
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