Single life after a mastectomy
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well I am as stressed as I can be.
But finally the apt is rented so I need to be out by April 30 . Now my clock is ticking and my new apt is not ready yet. I dropped off a fee boxes and saw that the repairs are not done so no way I can move my sofa or bed. I am stressed. Plus I have no much money to pay for the movers sue to I paid both places in Mach and now April so $1900 .00 out of pocket
Oh bb the kino to ight is 50mm I got my usual ticket.
My period came today and I feel like someone kicked my ass with a baseball bat
Good night
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Morning ladies
Oh E. I can see how that would add some stress. Ugh I haven't had my period since last April, soon as I started chemo. I still cramp sometimes thou something awful.
BB glad things are quiet.
Hope everyone else is doing ok!
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hi all
Started my radiation yesterday. It was actually not too bad! thought I would have to lie on my back but they were able to use the tattoos on my front to somehow get to the T9 on my spine. The waiting before they called me in took longer than the actual treatment..
Emotionally I'm still on the acceptance continuum. I fluctuate between a lot of acceptance and feeling really down. My pscychologist says that's actually normal! If I am too accepting I wouldn't be able to see the reality of it all..
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Melp- radiation technology has come a long way in the recent years. I had something called brachytherapy for partial breast radiation back in 2013 for both breasts. Although more experimental at that time, it is actually starting to become mainstream here in the US now. As a matter of fact, the guy who did it along with my BS and the diagnostic center here teach this technique remotely around the world. Radiation that targets the tumors/areas vs. hits other things will ensure the best quality of life. It is really good to hear they have some good solutions to offer you.
I cannot even begin to imagine how to get one's head around this type of diagnosis. I agree that if one is too accepting, it won't help. Your therapist is helping you to face this realistically and with great compassion.
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BB- the imaging center I got to here began offering the 3D in 2012. They were one of the few in the country at that time, and will say I believe it was that technology that found my IDC. I am sorry there are none in network for you yet. I was amazed they had it so early here, but we actually have some pretty top notch healthcare orgs here where I live, especially for a small city.
I noticed the brachytherapy started being offered at the hospital where I had my breast surgery in 2012 in the past few years. I had done a consult with the cancer center here and they were just starting it at that time, but did not feel I was a good candidate to be one of their early cases. Nor did I want to be their trial patient either.
Sorry I have not been too chatty. Still getting over this cold and also just having some challenges with work right now.
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Good afternoon- we got some much needed rain here yesterday and last night. Good for the trees and flowers doing their spring bloom.
Spending some time on the patio getting the plants outdoors and set up for the summer. I am shopping for a new patio set, and found one today I like at Home Depot but going to explore another place in town that has a whole showroom of patio furniture choices.
Spending time outside is always a good thing. A little yoga and mediation to wrap up the evening on the patio was a good ending to this day.
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yeah they will do a scan after radiation is over to see how it worked. Busy day tomorrow!! got early radiation appointment, a blood test and also an abdominal scan to check my ovaries.
Jazzy - I sometimes to meditation before I go to sleep to relax me.
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Melp- sending you good energy to get through your day today. You sound upbeat and ready to get at it. Praying for good outcomes on the tests.
I love meditation. I have been going to a mediation class since the beginning of the year every Sunday night, but was not able to go very much the past month with the bad head cold. I was going to resume soon, and the yoga teacher told me the two people that lead that will be gone in April. So it is up to me to keep my own practice going. Meditation can certainly quiet our inner thoughts. Thanks for sharing about your mediation practice!
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hi ladies sending you all lots of strength and hugs
I am so tired I moved many things but still have no dare as per when the apt ll be ready so I can move my bed and sofa. I am so tired tired I have been moving everythingand pacing it in the kitchen and storage I am dead.
My place starting to look empty.
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Enerva- is your nephew helping you at all with this move? Do you have a moving company to help you with the big items? I cannot imagine doing it all myself, but have been in that place too where friends say they will show up and help, and then never do.
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E - the apt looks nice
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Morning ladies
E, it looks nice. If I was closer, Id help.
Melp, Im with Jazzy. I can barely wrap my head around my situation.
3D is new in my town. I just went to a local hospital presentation about it in Nov I think.
Hope all others are doing well.
I am so exhausted and think I have another UTI
Don't want to go to the Dr. I think he called me in refills just in case I got another one. I have never had this much trouble with UTI's. Ugh0 -
Simplicity- did you have a foley catheter in the hospital? My guess is yes when you had your BMX. I have had one when i was in the hospital for the ruptured appendix. My sister told me that once you have had one of those, it makes you more vulnerable to UTIs. My mother had two surgeries on her hip and after those, she had UTI's all the time. I hope you can kick this one out quickly.
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BB- I am sorry to hear about your back problems. I hope the chiro can help you today?
I understand your comments about your health too. I have a couple good friends who are high energy people and watch them bouncing around with travel, and doing so many others things I used to do too but cannot anymore. In many respects, I see how I used to be so over committed/extended on so many levels and think it is good I no longer do that. But I do miss having the energy I used to. These days I keep life simple with trying to keep my work, home, and self going. Some days easier said than done.
Wishing you better days friend.
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hi hope all OK.
Melb hope the rad is working. Bb your back scares me too.
Honestly is been such a hard months . I am so disappointed at many things.
My nephew? No he is no where to be reach. The truth is that since he got married is as if I lost him. I always there 4 him but he is never there 4 me. Hard reality. I have move everything slowly and I am so stressed cuz the place is still not ready. Floors and balcony frame plus a wall need mayor repairs. They say it ll be done but not a date yet. I am getting impatient waiting. I put most things in the small kitchen and closet .
I honestly feel like throwin all to the garbage then renting a room somewhere. I am supper tired and super stressedplus my entire body hurts from lifting boxes and furniture. Look
That dolly is my only helper .
Good night
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BB hate to hear you're having so many back problems
Melp try to moisturize everyday.
Jazzy, yea, I can't keep up with those kinds of people.
E, you be careful!!
Surgery is set. May 20th. *sigh* I'm nervous.
Stomach is still hurting. Went to the doc 3/29 and he said he thought then it was a virus? Well, it's still been hurting and I had a bit of blood in my pee Sat
So I called doc and he sent me in another antibiotic, but it's hurting again tonight.bleh.
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simplicity probably you have urine infection.
I remember I had many after the first year out of chemo. I was always sick is so bad all our bodies go through. Tonight I am so sad. I got a notice yesterday that my underground is going to be washed on Friday tmw so I needed to move my bike and car tonight. Well when I went to install my batery for the bike I realized my keys were at the other place in some box.imagine I had to drive downtown again to search in all boxes where the keys were packed away. I had no idea so had to move huge boxes again and again finally found the key.came back installed the dame thing moved the bike to another spot where a friend has his car. His spot is on the side that was washed today . Moved the bike then came upstairs shower and bed I am sad cuz it seems everything is going wrong and my body is so exhausted I can even hold myself up. Guys why does everything have to be so hard for us even the simple things do go wrong. Had an argument with the super at the other building cuz he said he still can't give me a date as per when the apt ll be repaired.
Anyway I am sad and I just want to sleep and not wake up . Hate to vent
Hope you guys are OK this weekend
Melb sending u a big hug. Nothing compares to your stress hope all turns out OK with rad
Bb I wish I could be close to u to help u. I somehow feel so helpless even with my own issues.
Night all
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here is where I left the bike tonight .
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O Enerva. I feel ya. You just need to move here next to a sister so we can help, drink wine, and laugh, like, a lot. But I get it. Frustrating.
Yea, I have another UTI. Never had so much trouble before treatment.
O Jazzy, I have no idea if I had a catheter or not. I was out of it! I don't remember having one. But I didn't remember having a morphine drip either.
Melp, BB, Life? How are you ladies doing and anyone else I missed?
My honey is feeling down. He's being pulled in various directions and is feeling the brunt. Was very sad this morning, missing a dog they had to put down about 2-3 months ago. He's been working a lot too. Runs 3 businesses and loves what he does. I am fine with it. He asked me last night if I was bothered by his work schedule. Dude, I knew this about you coming into this. I'm fine. Long as you make time for us, I'm good. And he does. Does a really good job, despite all his responsibilities, making time for us.
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simplicity you found a keeper. Sounds like a great guy.
I am on my way to work now. Just wishing u all a great weekend I decided not to move a finger tmw .I ll stay in bed for most of the day.
Ll try to post hope all OK
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Hi friends- many here are continuing to have a hard time of it lately. I am reading, although not always posting due to limited time these days but send you all much love and hugs and wishes for better days.
Simplicity- running a business is such demanding work, and cannot imagine running three like your friend. But entrepreneurs love what they do and often are serial or multiple biz owners. Maybe your friend is just tired? I agree with E, anyone that is that is that busy (and I believe who would also get involved with a cancer survivor) is a keeper. May you find some easy quiet time to be together this weekend for something good for both of you!
E- I have such compassion for your situation, having had to do a lot with two moves a decade or so ago mostly on my own. I did have a bit of help when I moved into my house in 2004, but had people around at that time who I had helped with their moves and when my time came, they looked at me like "you want what?" Well, some of those freeloaders are long gone now. Then I had to deal with the cleaning out of my mothers house a short year later which was a real back breaker. My sister did so little to help and often comments on how "easy that was". We have almost had it out a couple times over those comments. And when I renovated my house over the past two years, I had to move things around as the rooms were getting painted and new floors and did that by myself. I just so know your pain sister, and hope that apt is ready soon. Glad you are spending some time to rest tomorrow.
Melp- I am thinking of you with your rads treatments and follow up tests. Let us know how that is going?
June- good to see you popping in. Have you seen the play Hamilton on Broadway by any chance?
I have had been having some challenges at work with both my project (which I am working through with management), but also a harassment issue that has really had me upset. I dealt with it right away with my client and hope the issue will not resurface, but will be on alert. There has always been a certain amount of this behavior with some of the employees at this place with those whom are resentful of consultants. Especially the ones who are very incompetent and expect they should be getting more from the place. Same BS, different year. It has pushed me to detach from some from the client site and refocus on some other things I needed to and am the better for it. Just there to do the work and reminded to keep up some very strict barriers. I like my project and have some good feedback on my work right to the top of the organization. I am also working on some longer term changes for my work that I think will be better for my future. I am a woman in transition.
I did something good for myself yesterday, something I had planned months ago and was good for the mind, body and spirit. I took my first cooking class from a culinary school in Santa Fe, and really enjoyed it. Also caught up with a friend/colleague while up north yesterday. I do have to go in today to the client site for some important meetings and then will finish up the day at the gym for some exercise.
Thinking of others here who we don't see as much from Lilly, to Cubbie, to Life, and more. Wishing everyone a good wrap up to the week and good day.
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thanks jazz.
I am supper tired . This week I finished the Microsoft Word level 1 course and next Monday I have the exam for Excel 1.now today I enrolled on a income tax course at the same college is a course I always wanted to take. The bad thing is that is on Tuesdays start may 3 till August. Found a lady whom was selling the books so picked it up today. I moved my bike back to my parking spot and I am super tired.
Yes moving alone is very challenging but I guess we just learn we are independent and there is a big price to pay for that title lol
G night all
Tmw rest and maybe I will take my bike for a ride.if weather is good and I am able to get up from bed lol
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E- I am proud of all coursework you are doing. All the Office software you are learning will really help you with your job prospects and knowing tax stuff is good good too. I have an accountant to help me with taxes since I own a business. I hope you can get some good rest tomorrow, maybe get out for a walk or bike ride too? I have to think it must be warming up there now?
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Morning ladies.
Hope your resting Enerva. I hate moving and have done most of my moves on my own with kids in tow. An ex for helped me move into my house. But that man was grumpy over a dropped fork lol
Jazzy, a culinary class sounds nice. I've been dabbling more with fresh herbs in my cooking and if I had more time and a bigger kitchen (it's a 2 butt max kitchen), I'd be dabbling more!
I think so. We have hit a few bumps and gained some bruises but that's par for the course.
Hope all have a good day!
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Good morning friends- we have some nice rain here this weekend which is great for all the blooming trees and gardens. I hear it is snowing up in northern NM this morning too! Denver on up to Wyoming getting a big punch of winter this weekend.
Simplicity- since my bc diagnosis, I have been paying more attention to my diet, where I buy my food and what kind of food I buy, etc. The chef who was demonstrating the cooking has been involved in the culinary industry since the 1970's and talk a lot about food. What it used to be like, what it is now, how to choose your meats and veggies, etc. I personally have a strong feeling that so many of the diseases we are dealing with these days have something to do with our diet. Whether it is the dyes that we have learned later cause cancer, to other auto immune illnesses. I am pretty selective about where I get my meats and produce. I have watched a lot of documentaries and read a lot of things about food the past five years. So along with the Georgia O'Keefe stories and recipes, we had great conversations around what to buy and where to buy your food. I learned much in the three hours I was there. The simple fresh food we had for lunch was so delicious!
I have a pretty large kitchen, although I don't entertain a lot these days. It allows me to spread out when getting into a day of cooking. I really enjoy cooking on sundays and making good food for a meal that day and for the week ahead. I plan to do some cooking tomorrow too! I have had those smaller kitchens too and know it is tough to move around in them.
BB- you are right that I enjoy what I do and the way I work, although any job has it's challenges, the work is interesting, I am working with high level folks and doing some project design this gig. If I play my card right, what I am doing now will lead to some bigger opps long term. I am creating a different path for myself with this project so I can expand what I do and who I do it for. I am there for the experience and the income.
I did have another incident yesterday via the problem manager, but just told my client about it and said that I did not understand what is going on with this person, but just wanting to focus on the work she has asked me to do and not be dealing with this person's behavior. She told me she was going to have a different conversation with him in the afternoon and tell him to just stay away from me and not talk to me anymore. One has to wonder, do you want that kind of negative attention with your manager?
I have to get to my busy day of to dos and looking forward to a nice work out and soak in the hot tub at the gym later today.
Wishing everyone a good weekend!
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BB- I think single women do better than single men do. That being said, I don't feel a need to live into my 90's either?
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Sometimes hearing of others struggles puts our own into perspective.
Split chicken breasts with paprika, Rosemary, rubbed sage, salt n pepper and olive oil of course with Mac n cheese n carrots lol
Pressure washed the house, sidewalks and driveway today and that may or may not have been a whoops. My back and hands are killing me. Nothing to do tomorrow so I can rest.
Back issues suck BB. I was born with an extra vertebrae, so was my dad, so it hurts a lot but I've heard surgery is worse. Once you have one back surgery...O how I wish I lived closer. I would have sat with ya.
Yea has anyone heard from Cubby here or otherwise?
Hope everyone else is doing ok tonight. I'm beat
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BB- you have longevity genes in your family. My relatives lived to their mid 80s at the latest, except for one cousin once removed who lived to be 100!
I hope your mom is doing okay? Is she getting stronger again?
Simplicity- dinner sounds delicious!
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hi ladies im back. Finished radiation on Wednesday it wasnt too bad. Only problem is because of where i was treated its hard to put sorbolene on..
Good news from my oncologist. Abdomen scan I had the other day showed no progression and blood test is also good!!!
One thing he did mention was he wanted to start a discussion about removing my ovaries
obviously im stage 4 so if I do it then the only way I could have kids is adoption and i would be leaving the care to someone else. Im so confused and devastated by this. Its my choice but if I got a surrogate then I could still pass on my genetic mutation to the kid. Its all very confusing it would be different if i was already seeing someone! I don't know what to do!! Ive always wanted to be married and have kids ever since i was 13 or so. 0 -
Melp- very good news about the rads working and that your blood work is getting under control too. The treatments are turning things around for you, sister. I am SO glad to hear this news.
The whole decision about ovaries is a difficult one. I can tell you many of us older woman have been recommended to have them removed, I had mine out the same year as my dx, and know several other women who were recommended to have them out too. It is further estrogen suppression and for those who have had kids or past the time we could have them, not as hard a decision as you are facing.
I know many women will freeze eggs and you could do that, but wondering if there is not a way to tell if they would have the mutation? Is that a question to ask your MO? Genetics testing is coming along leaps and bounds and thought it would mention it if you have not discussed it yet.
This is a really tough decision Melp. No one grows up thinking they will loose this option so young. Let us know if we can help in any other way. Hugs sister.
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