Single life after a mastectomy
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jazzy - thanks for your reply. Its all i can think about since i found out! Even though i could go on with zoladex for three months or so I would still have make the decision eventually. There is genetic testing that could be done but would I want to put myself through that?? Scared if i dont do it i could develop ovarian cancer..i didn't think I would loose this so young either. Is my desire for normality worth possibly making my health get worse?? I would be leaving my partner to care for this child.. too many questions!!!
Bb- have no idea what right choice is! Thanks for your caring
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Melp- there young women on all these threads coming up with bc, and expect that many have or are facing similar decisions. BB made an excellent suggestion to look for a thread, but If there is not a thread here, I suggest you create one and you may draw some women there going through the same thing and that may have information for you.
I created my own thread around whether to start Prolia shots for bone health and it has brought a wealth of information and helped me to decide to move forward with it (and I keep the group updated on how things are going there for others who are now trying to decide). Some decisions are bigger than others, as we all know, but it helped me to decide.
These are super hard decisions to make, and your therapist may be a good sounding board for some of these conversations (and without the judgement of friends or family or others). Friends and family are often well meaning, but until you are in this situation, you cannot imagine how hard some of these decisions are because we are making decisions for the long term. Yours in particular is one of the hardest here I think.
If you are allowed some time by taking the Zoladex, take that time and don't rush to make this decision. It is so overwhelming and you need some time with this one friend.
Let us know how else we can help? We care here.
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BB- glad you are feeling better. It is always good to have fresh food in the house. Although I don't like grocery shopping, I love having fresh food to eat.
It would be good for your mom to be living with your sister, would she go for that? It might also be great if the three of you lived near each other to have that support? I know you don't want to move away from your boys, but they can probably come to you more easily?
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BB- Yes that is an option but not sure how much it costs to store them for a while until i may need them.
Jazzy - have started a thread in stage 4 area about it.
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Just kind of speaks to the days we are all having lately, yes? Wishing everyone here better days.
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Morning ladies,
Melp, I can't imagine. I go for a CT scan this Thursday and am oddly nervous. Hope some other ladies in the other thread are able to offer some soothing words as I always find myself at a loss with these things.
BB, things will change. Not sure how, but they always do. Sorry my friend, that you are struggling.
Enerva, how was your weekend. Did you get some rest?
So tired, and started my morning out by hitting my neighbors parked car, right at the end of my driveway (across the small street). Ugh. Had to go wake him to tell him. Surprised it took this long I've almost hit him so many times (and so have many others). But had branches I was trying to avoid, forgot about his truck being there, didn't turn sharp enough, and a dent later...O boy. No insurance. No cops. (Called my detective friend to inquire and ensure no trouble for me-I offered ins and to call the police).
Bleh. happy monday
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hi I am extremely tired. I rested on Saturday then Sunday had a hard day still moving things.today I was told my place won't be done in time so tmw I ll go about to arrange a storage for my bed and sofa.ll have to pay double now
plus need to figure where to sleep once I storage my bed Anyhow got some sun on Saturday went to a river and relaxed took a small canoe it was lovely. Here is me pretending all is wonderful lol took a nice selfy and beautiful pictures from the river. Found a place where I was able to rent a canoe lol
Yes I am cucu my first time doing it too
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E- canoeing looks lovely. Glad you got outdoors, it made you smile. You look great!
Sorry the place won't be ready. If renting out your place to others leaves you with no place to live, can this decision be changed? Can you rent a room from someone for the short term? Fingers crossed here for a good solution.
Simplicity- sorry about the car accident. I hope this can get resolved without too much trouble.
BB- hoping your back feels better. You need a young person to grocery shop for your mom, maybe a high school kid who can run and pick a few things up for a few bucks?
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Morning ladies,
Enerva, you are beautiful! So jealous! I need some river time, bad. Heading to the beach with some lady friends in a couple weeks pre surgery. I need a get away before I can't get away.
Jazz, the guy didn't want to involve anyone. Just a small dent. My fault. Wasn't paying attention, but hate that he parks on the side of the road directly across from my driveway. Grr.
Hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected. I am tired, grumpy, sad. Too much stuff floating around my head. Better days will come. For all of us, I hope
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hi ladies well is been a cucumber week as usual. Also was told the apt may not be ready by end of the month so Humm I reserved a storage place to store my sofa and bed . $295.00 for one month . Then I need to pay a mover twice one to move this to the storage and then when the apt is ready
I honestly don't know the shit I put myself through is crazy
But hope it ll be worth it
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BB- very good to hear you are feeling better. Sometimes when things hurt and are better, I just say a little blessing that "thank god that is over with now." I hope it allows you to get out and enjoy the spring weather!
Enerva- I hope the apt will be ready. Nothing worse than moving, well okay, cancer treatment is worse, but moving comes right behind it. I hope everything comes together for you to transition to the other place and that you like it better over there. I am sorry your nephew is not more helpful. Family can be quite disappointing sometimes.
Do you ever hear from Milkyway anymore? She has been gone from this thread for awhile but seem to remember you two met up sometime last year?
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BB- glad you are feeling good another day! Weekends on BCO tend to be quiet I think.
I spent a fabulous afternoon at a bass clinic with jazz legend Nathan East. He was here in town for an music and film event. He is part of the jazz group, Four Play, but also collaborates with everyone under the sun from Stevie Wonder, Michael McDonald, Eric Clapton, and more. He had two other fabulous musician there from Stevie Wonder's Wonderlove band from the 70s and a drummer from Average White Band early years. I thought maybe he would be talking about the bass more, but it turned out to be a mini-concert and lots of story telling.
They all knew Prince on some level and shared some great stories about him. They did a nice wrap up with Purple Rain that was so touching and we all sang along. I also got to meet him at the end, got a signed CD and selfie with him and my heart came away full after this experience. Listening to his music this morning and have to say this CD is one of the best jazz albums I have ever heard. It is keeping the experience going for me.
I have been trying to get back into my music and feel inspired after this weekend.
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Is there one? A real one? Single life after mutilation?
What a Foley catheter? How is it different from a normal one?
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BB- I belong to several local music groups, which is how I usually tap into all this stuff. I also play/perform, but less time for that lately. I am rethinking some of that as the music seasons gets busier here.
To meet people to do concerts with, I suggest Meet Up groups. The ones here have things around hiking and outdoor activities, others for cultural activities including museums, concerts, etc. Usually people are responsible for getting their own tix and then meeting up to go. I have been stiffed too many times by people who said they wanted to go see a bigger concert and then later opted out and left me stuck with a ticket they never paid for and scrambling to find someone to go with me at least. Sometimes I just go on my own to things and meet up with people I know, and that happened yesterday. Quite honestly, a great way to connect up with people and then just go when you are ready to?
Lily- I am not sure about finding someone after all this, I have not even begun to think about it, but I know a Foley catheter is to collect urine. Not sure about others, but had one for my big abdominal surgery.
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Morning ladies
Looks fun Jazzy!
BB glad to hear you had some pain free days.
Lily, I think my situation is not typical. We had known each other 10yrs prior. But he doesn't mind my....abnormalities, or my fatigue. A guy I was kind of seeing prior to him, he didn't mind either and would just rub my bald head. They are out there....
Enerva, ugh, I cannot imagine. What a PITA!
Hope everyone has a good day. Pre Op tomorrow with the plastic surgeon. Hoping all is a go for May 20th.
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Simplicity- you are in the home stretch now sister, heading towards your recon date. Then you won't have to see a doctor for awhile I think, except for the follow ups we all have.
Have you started those yet? Usually they can be anywhere from 3-6 months after you finish the primary treatment. I am on a six month schedule and my next one will be coming up again in July.
Melp- how are things going. Are you scheduled for any more treatments/rads, at this point? How are you feeling friend?
E- I hope you are coming towards the end of the big push with this move stuff. Thinking of you sister and hope you are able to get some rest.
I am doing some work at home this morning but also been out doing some gardening with some plants I got last night. Good way to start the day is the earth between your fingers.
Wishing everyone a good week with minimal stress and no pain!
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For some reason, it doesn't feel like it.
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hi thanks girls I ll post tonight I m on the train as usual
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Love it Jazzy.
Write more later. Appointment went well, but some details of the surgery itself have changed due to permanent damage from radiation, and my right side DIEP system...bleh
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hi ladies.
Well I posponed the move for Thursday cuz is very cold today and rain. Yesterday I took my bed apart and moved the pieses to the storage a friend who lives in the 18 floor lend me her suv lol I was able to move small pieces from the bed and tonight she said I can use it again so I ll try to take the head board but it very heavy. I ll wait till the security guard are in the lobby so they don't give me shI t lol since we are not allow to move big items unless we reserve the elevators but I manage yesterday to sneak some out . I am sleeping on my mattress on the floor till Thursday I ll store the bed that day and the sofas. I bought a Long hair to sleep on it wile the other place is ready I can't afford to pay for a room or something. It going to be bad for me for a few weeks. Who knows when the place l be fix.
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Enerva- so are you not going to have a place to live for a couple weeks?
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well I ll stay at night at the crapy apt but ll sleep on a long chair I bought cuz I can not move my bed or sofas due to the floors are a mess n the wall in the bedroom ll be repair too.
Let me tell u what happened to me last night. So my friend the lady from the 18th floor lender me her car again and I decided to bring down my bed head board. Well I managed to take down but it was so heavy and big then got to the car n it did not fit
so a that point I didn't have the strength to bring it back upstairs so I said f it. I got rid of it left it at the garbage area of my building lol I sat on the suv thinking wth? Now I have no bed frame lol then I thought well maybe I can find a cheap one at ikea and drove to ikea and guess what found a kind bed frame for $89.00 hahaha ha took it and brought it to the storage room. Girls this move has been such a nightmare. My bed was solid wood cost me $1500.00 but I did not think twice to through it cuz it was just a bed for professional mover to move and I am so broke I can't afford movers now. I rented a truck for this Thursday and I lll save ll cost me under $100 to do it myself .here are the pictures. Imagine me alone moving that sucker.
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here is the chair which ll be my bed for a few weeks .plus I won't have access to kitchen
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wish me luck. Here is the storage I rented for $295.00
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Enerva- I am sorry this is all so hard. It is clear you need more help with this move, too hard for someone like you to do on your own. But I understand the financial limitations too. That chair does not look like a comfortable place to sleep for a few weeks. Buying a cheap air mattress and layering it with blankets may be another option.
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oh jazz I never thought about it lol
I ll see how it goes after the first night I may go find a air mattress. Good idea. Well saw my Dr. This morning and she says I am doing too much. She is OK at least she gave me the letter so I don't do night on call hours at work.
I got to work from home today and I am so tired I want to sleep lol
Just a few more our on the lab top.
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E- from one person who is always doing too much to another, I do hope you can slow down a bit after the move.
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lol OK today finally I received an email saying the repairs ll start on may 08th .well at least I know I made the right call to rent a storage room .I must figure how to access the kitchen at least till the 7th. Since I ll have to at least have a cess to my coffee in the mornings. OK tonight I ll rent the truck I now on my way there I ll let you know how I manage later own. And I agree I need to relax I am so due for a vacation lol
I must tell you yesterday there was a prd issue and my manager try to blame me for it. But I resolved and provided a report where the developer explained the issue I had nothing to do with. Yet I was given crap emails and bullish me . I cc the director too. I hope I get to leave that area soon .
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OK so my nephew finally came to give me a hand .I rented a truck and he helped me to load the sofa and mattress. I am off today I am picking up what is left so I can clean the place and give the keys tmw night.
And ended up picking up the bed head board lol cuz it was still there where I left it .
See my place now so empty I my first night on the chair and it's not bad at all lol
Ll let u know how all ends up tonight
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