Single life after a mastectomy
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Melp- yes, my friend confirmed it is Lupron. So I guess that idea is out.
Simplicity- I suffered so the first six months on anastrozole. I went off it for a month and did better. The big issue for me is my feet, and those were better for awhile, but not as good again. They felt good after the massage this weekend, but bothering me again today. I bought some toprocin at the health food store last night and will use that for some relief. I hate these meds.
I switched to exastemene (sp?) which is the generic for Aromosin last month per the recommendation of my MO. He says it has less impact to the bones. I am wondering if I am going through some "re-entry" again of sorts with my feet around changing the meds?
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ha ha ha bb u ate funny.
I ll Check it out just to laugh lol
I just got home took me 15 minutes I am so happy living so close now
Ya my ex is unreal is like me= hotel and sex
No anymore
It shows me reality .sad but true
Sinplicity I wish u good luck cutting the smokes u can do it just think recon is too risky and too important
OK I ll shower now then bed have another class tmw and I just found out I am allow to take tax 2 at the same time lol I may do it lol
It can't hurt get it over with today's class was very intense
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jazz these are the courses I am taking plus also word level ii
Taxation I | Course | George Brown College Continuing Education Taxation I ACCT 2034. Email to a Friend. Study basic tax issues, personal income tax procedures, small business taxation planning, capital gains, capital cost ...
https://coned.georgebrown.ca/courses-and-certificates/taxation-i/LabeledContinuing ...
Taxation II | Course | George Brown College Continuing Education Prerequisite(s). You must have completed ACCT 2034Taxation I or an approved equivalent. Full-time Equivalent(s). ACCT 3009. Contact Information.
https://coned.georgebrown.ca/courses-and-certificates/taxation-ii/LabeledContinuing
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so I ll be going to night class on Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday lol my the force be with me lol
Wish me luck plus I must study for my mortgage exam
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here is the view from my new place or should I say my old place lol.
I can't wait for the repairs to be done so I can make it look nice like old times
But at least I didn't lose the lease and that makes me happy. Here is my new view still spectacular I am now on a 6 floor and u are all welcome to visit Toronto one day
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just saw this I must share
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Good morning friends- I am having a lot of stiffness in my hands and feet this week and last night, my feet and ankles were really hurting! I guess I am having an "AI week." Going to do some yoga on the patio to loosen things up this morning. I have a busy day ahead.
BB- I read that article and think all of that is very true. The more we love and are kind to ourselves, and work to heal ourselves on all levels, the more we attract the type of people we want in our lives. The quality of relationships I have now is far better than I had say 10 or 20 years ago. I still seem to have those experiences though that remind me to keep working on my unsophisticated junk.
You may want to tell your therapist you need some concrete steps about things that can help you to move forward. This is where I like life coaches better, they are more about focusing on where you want to go than with focusing on the past. I do believe we have to get that stuff out, but if that is the only focus, it can really keep you stuck. Figure out your stuck places and where you want to focus first (baby steps are good when trying to make changes) and go from there. Having goals is a great place to start.
E- I love the view you shared. How nice to be closer to work, more time for YOU now and it sounds like you will need that. You are going to be very busy with all those classes! And I have been to Toronto in the past, really great city!
Simplicity- I am glad you are almost done with the stuff you have to do. It will be good to be past all these surgeries and to be able to not have to see a doctor for awhile, just for your check ups. I have never been a smokers (asthmatic) but if you can kick that, all the better. I know it is not easy though.
Going to work until around 2 p.m. then leaving for the day to do something with the local entrepreneurial community. My client site is tiring with not being totally sure what they want to do on this project. Add to that a few managers who like to badger me on any number of levels. I am good with my client and her leaders, but the rest are a complete wild cards most days. The good news is I am working from home the next two days as I get a home office upgrade done that needs to be completed and glad to have a great from their chaos. I have told myself I need to find more work that can have me working remote/from home as I am tired of dealing with the work place BS. I don't work for myself to have these experiences. I have a low threshold for BS these days too?
Weather is warming up again after a cold weekend. I got some more flowers from the nursery on the way home last night and doing some more planting of pots. Gardening is great therapy.
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Melp, when is your next scan? Any chance the injections may help at all?
BB, yes, we did. Running 3 businesses, he stays busy, and I am okay with that as long as he makes time to nurture this relationship, as I have said from the beginning. I can't do anymore one laners and I won't. I barely have to say anything to him. He seems self correcting to a degree and he was thinking the same thing the night I mentioned it. He's out of town the next 2 weekends, and I am out of town this weekend
We are both having to put forth a lot of effort in some ways. But I am also careful to rest when I need to and turned down a night with him last week because I was just flat out exhausted.Thanks Enerva. The plan is to put a patch on this Sat evening before leaving the beach. Then I have to ride home with a friend who doesnt smoke haha Should be fun. Love the view!! I'd love to come visit! Maybe someday.
Me too Jazzy. I think BB is right in that I'll be a bit more clear headed once I get through this cloud hovering around me.
I screwed up and went through my treatment photo's last week. Did not think of the impact it may have had on me. Wasn't good. Damn how do women make it through this crap?!?!?!?! My body has changed soooo much in the past 6 months. Ugh. Frustrating. E is such an accepting guy. He see's it as out of my control (it is), and temporary. I have told him as much as I hope all goes well, there is a chance it won't and we have to be mentally prepared for that possible reality.
What I was going to message; *personal but may help others who read. I gave him permission 2 weeks ago to 'feel' up there. Was hard on me, but also found it...relieving? that he wasn't running from it? Denying my reality?
O back up a bit. Probably in January, I had no drinks, and we were getting ready for bed and OMG IDK WTF I was thinking but I just forgot for a second that I had no breasts and just took my tank top right off!!!! It was over my head when I realized and I cried Eeeeeeee!!! Tuuuurrrrnnnnn arrrooouuuunnnnddddd Eeeeeee!!!! I fell to the floor between my bed and the wall, in total dismay, so distraught I couldn't get my tank top back on
He started to say he had already seen, but quickly went to a whisper and dropped it. It wasn't spoke of that night again.So the other night he asks if he can see. I immediately said no. As I thought about it, he had already saw it for a second and if he was going to run, I'd rather he did so now. So with hesitation, and tears rolling down my cheeks, I took my shirt off
Him being him, he was realistic about it, which I expected. Yes, it looks awful, but your beautiful inside and out, and it's temporary We talked a lot and I showed him my pictures. It made me feel better to be able to share how I feel, how I look.....felt like it was kinda what's that saying? The elephant in the room?I've been very open about my treatment on FB and my Update Page, excluding pictures except messaged to a dear friend in Maine. I understand a stance of not wanting to talk about it, or share. But for me, it's helped me deal with it I think...
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BB, I agree with Jazzy. She makes very good points. I've been a single parent for 13yrs and the exhusband really had me torn down. I was awful at everything in his eyes. Took me years to build myself back up. Validate yourself, know that a lot of what you feel and think is okay per the context surrounding the feelings and thoughts. I learned this during equine therapy (7years of it). Ones validation of self is very important. Please do call your therapist out! Great that she listens but she needs to give input as well
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hi girls. Well I must say I admire you all. As per the therapist I understand cuz mine is like that too she listen but does not have any emotions is hard to read her .
The class tonight was very good but I wanted to sleep. Hope tmw night is better.
Good night
Simplicity wow. I did the oposite I close the doors for 2 years . I blocked the world and only my mom and my sisters knew all I was going through but my coworkers and friends had to deal with the fact I was gone. I could not Handel any body not even me.I was full of anger and I was very much In a dark place. I eat my savings and went to debt all I had I lost. Even mom and one sister and brother I still wonder if it's real or if I ll wake up one day. Maybe we will all wake up.
G night hope for a better day tmw.
I wish it was Friday already lol
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Not any scans on the horizon simplicity. The zoladex injections are working to supress the hormones but im getting hot flashes still.
Seeing my onc tommorow to have another discussion about the ovaries
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jazz sent u an email lol
Went to an interview this morning
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Melp- let us know how the MO visit goes. Is there any option to freeze your eggs? I have read some younger women here have done that to have options later for children. Have you found any younger women on the threads who have done that?
E- been swamped today but ready your note. I hope the interview went well?
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hi ladies boy am I happy tmw is Friday
Interview went well but I won't hear from them in another 2 weeks . But is better than nothing I have all my hopes on it
I forgot to tell you all about a conversation I had with my Dr a few weeks back.
Well u know I see her every months in order to have her writing letters so I don't get a pager at work. Anyway I told her how I know most of you have follow ups in the estates where you ladies are been scanned and I find that so good cuz is always in the back of my brain how for me the onco see me once a year and basically dismiss me for another year no scanning no blood work nothing they say if I get some pain that doesn't go away or some symptoms then they can check other wise just keep on living my life as healthy as I can. So is nerve-wracking specially with my history having survived a super agresivo bc and my sister and my brother gone due to c. But so my doctor explained to me that there is nothing to do. She looked at me and said if you get c back you are then stage 4. And the reason they don't check is due to reality because if you have stage 4 then there won't be anything they can do. Yes I was silent for a moment and then I said .oh I see . I never thought of it that way. I guess I was always concern that if I don't catch c early I won't have a chance at the fight. She said well they will treat you to make you as confortable as possible but it is what it is so try not to think of it.
Now ladies between you and I .
THAT IS BULL SHIIIT
I left her office feeling like crap. I don't need that kind of reality talk from her. I honestly felt like putting my hands on her neck and beating the crap out of her. BB and I were cheated by the fact that we catch this bc early and we were brushed away by saying is nothing then when they finally listen to me it was too late and I ended up with stage 3. Now they tell me there is no point of catching it early if you became stage 4 then u ll deal with death. Come on I know that but I just never want to be told that.
Anyway sorry to tell you this I don't mean to upset you. My attude is noo even if we become stage 4 we can still fight and survive it. Do not let then put in your head anything else
Melb you are OK and pls keep saying that over and over do not let stage 4 define you. Yes think about your ovaries and do what your heart tell you is best for you.
I know I am crazy cuz I refused tamoxifen .I refuse all the pills they want the to take but I am alive and I won't listen to them.I lost all good I had for the medical system I lost faith in what ever it was I used to call god. I now don't belive in spirits or in other lives . I do not believe we deserve this journey and I plan to keep going with what ever it is that comes my way.
Sorry I am sharing this but you ladies are my only real friends even if not here next to me. I needed to tell you that doctor made me feel so bad that day.
As soon as I change jobs I will stop seen her
I don't want no one in my life telling me more crap
Good night hoping for a great Friday and amazing weekend for all of us.
Love u
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E- I don't get regular scans, outside of 6 month mammos because I had double lumpectomy and when you have lumpectomy, the do mammos more often. Good and bad with that, but it is what it is. I don't get CT scans, MRI, other X-rays, etc. I do have my blood work checked each 6 month visit and the MO usually listens to my lungs, check my liver through an abdominal palpitation, etc. My MO told me changes in your panels, especially liver enzymes might indicate something is changing even before you have any other symptoms. My PCP does that annually too, so checks and balances are a good thing. Blood work can be your friend in our world and find changes early.
I am surprised you are only seen once a year though given your later stage at diagnosis, and the family history. Most women are being seen post treatment are going in for follow ups anywhere between every three months to every six months. I know after five years you may not see an MO anymore (unless continuing on with AIs), and most folks just go back to seeing their regular doctor for any issues. Those of us with lumpectomies will go back to annual mammos.
I know one other woman on these threads who is not doing AIs and said she never sees an MO at all (she and I were diagnosed the same time). She said her MO said he had nothing to help her with if she was not doing the AIs. I found that surprising too. My sister is not doing AIs but had an aggressive cancer and started out being seen every 3 months, then went to 4, and in the past year, now is every six like me. We will be at our five years about one month apart in 2017. Really does seem to vary what people get in the post treatment world?
Being told nothing can be done for Stage IV is BS. There are plenty of women on these threads living with Stage IV, some on this thread as well. I know there are women on these threads who have lived 20 years with bone mets. There may be certain situations where they cannot operate, or chemo is no longer an option. But what she said is broad and dismissive. I would expect that from most people who don't understand anything about cancer, but not a trained medical professional. They are not all good E. The better answer to any of that would be we will figure that out together if and when it happens. You need a different provider, so you can get regular check ups. You are entitled to be followed after treatment in a meaningful way.
I am not sure how it works in the socialized medicine world. Here in the good old U S of A, we have choices within networks of providers we can use. I have changed docs when it is not a good relationship. Do you have a primary care doc? Maybe get some help there. You don't have to accept this.
Good luck friend
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hi jazzy the onc appt went well. Have a referral to a female gyno. Want to make an informed decision so i can have all the facts. No I havent found any younger women who have frozen eggs. I was offered that when i was first dx in 2011 but treating the cancer was more pressing at that time.
Finally went to the spa today with mum!! it was awesome had a 1hr massage I didnt want to leave lol
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Melp- I am glad to hear you went to the spa. Boy did you ever need that, yes? And some nice time with your mom too. The US celebrates this sunday as Mother's Day. Do they do the same in Australia?
I hope you like the female gyn. You are doing all the right things to make an informed choice sister.
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oh ladies Friday is here and I am already in my air mattress counting the hours for Sunday to be here so I can pickup the mattress and clear the zone for contraction to start Monday wile I work.
I can't imagine what I will find when I get here after work. Humm
Regarding the Dr. I don't care now lol I think my depresión is up and down my period is coming soon and that Dr. Just said the wrong words at the wrong day and time so it hurt but no anymore I am stronger than that I care less what those Dr have to say. My family Dr is the same way she doesn't even do blood unless I show up complain about something lol is OK I know I passed my 3 year mark and all I want is to have 7 more years clear. After that what ever happens then I ll see how I deal with it no point of worrying now. I am glad we have each other here to compare and share what is in our crazy brains sometimes I just need to vent and well that is my only way of coping. I am glad I don't take the meds for depresión bit sometimes I think I should lol
Is all good just day by day. Now I just wish for that new job so I can start fresh at another building far from the hell I am in.
So the Internet people came when I was not here and they left a cable on my door well it turned out I need a two head conector in other to conect that cable so no game of throne tonight
I ll go get one tomorrow. I am dying with no Internet or TV in this place I will do homework now and then bed
Wishing you mothers a wonderful mothers day !!!
Good night
I hope bb gets to see her mom .
Sinplicity how is your mom?
Melb I am so glad you were with ur mom too. How is the weather in Autralia are you in a big city or close to water? I love all about your country. I remember Oprah show it at some point she took people from her show there lol I miss oprah
Anyway hope life and June and milky are also OK
Also wishing you all an amazing weekend
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Middle of the night and cannot sleep! I have a busy day tomorrow and tell myself that I need sleep! Well, hopefully I can go down in a bit and get up at 7 a.m. and get to my first apt of the day at 9:30 a.m. Meeting a friend at an annual herb festival event tomorrow, a spring thing I always look forward to!
E- it will be good to get your regular bed set up for a better night's sleep. With everything you are doing with your regular job and now the classes, you need to get good rest. Are you able to do any exercise? Working in a big city usually results in a lot of walking.
Wishing all the moms here a nice weekend. I am thinking of my mom on the other side this weekend.
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Yes we celebrate it this sunday too jazzy. Yeah it was awesome!!! for an hr was expensive though. 45 min is slightly less expensive.
The lady was good they held up a towel so we could have privacy while taking off the robe to get onto the table. A great foot massage at the start. I'm not near any water more near the city centre. enerva im glad your new place is going ok
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hi ladies.
Melb no I haven't been able to exercise
no that I don't have the gym from my condo well I will do my pole walking but only when this mess is over today I decided to cover my cloth with plastic lol I think I did good cuz my cloth will get all the dust from the construction. Good news I was able to find a cable conector so I found a way and was able to watch game of throne hahaha hah can't wait to watch the next one tmw night . A few pictures of my nightmare
Tmw I ll do the closet in the bedroom lol
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bb I am glad you got to see your mom even for a short visit.
Yes missing my own mom today but again I miss her every month also my sister she loved to celebrate mothers day.
Anyway hope all having a wonderful time rutina is back tomorrow but at least my apt repairs Start tmw lol
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Good evening friends- I hope the moms here have had a nice day with family, for those with kids still around you. BB, glad you got to see your mom & hope your dinner with your son this evening was lovely!
I have spent my Mothers Day working in the gardens and also did a big cleaning of the cars and garage this afternoon. Whew, behind on my spring cleaning activities after getting a late start with being sick with that cold for a month, but getting caught up and made big progress today. I am pooped tonight, but will do some yoga on the patio to stretch my tired body before bed. I have executive meetings tomorrow and getting ready for those.
E- I hope the improvements on the apartment get done at lightening speed. Sending you hugs as you think about your family that is gone. I know you still miss your sister terribly too, not been that long since you lost her. I hope her daughter is doing okay. Keep us posted about that job you interviewed for too?
Wishing everyone a good start to the week.
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hi ladies I am OK
Bb I hear you I am not sure what is the deal with these therapist of us. I am also hoping I stop seen mine
Jazz nice you did some spring stuff. I am so tired and they came and took part of the floor away and also wall so maybe the it ll start looking better I am not sure
Good night all
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Morning ladies,
Melp, so glad you got a spa day! I bet you two really enjoyed that!
BB, she isn't doing good. Mixing stuff up, slurred speech at times. It's hard to talk or be around her
But I try to go by more often. That's crappy BB. Can you find another therapist? I know this one took forever to find thou. BB, didn't you quit smoking prior to surgery or no? Any issues during recovery in the abdominal area? Glad you got to spend time with one of your boys. Always nice.Jazzy, I have a potted garden and am getting some jalapeno's, tomatoes, and some peppers.
Beach getaway last weekend. Whoa. So exhausting!! Great times thou and many memories made
Dr called yesterday and fussed at me. Wants to push off the surgery another 2 weeks due to my smoking, and fear of abdominal healing issues. I HAVE SOOOOO much already planned around that day. He did mention my smoking during the end of April visit, but not postponing the surgery. I'm angry at him, and myself. I knew I needed to quit. I didn't think about recommending postponing thou.
SO the most stressful time of my life, a surgery I have been anxiously awaiting, and 1.5 weeks prior, you decide to recommend this? UGH. DO they understand what a mind tornado that causes???
I read nicotine is out of your system in 36-48 hrs, but it's the health of the blood vessels he is concerned about. Blood flow supply to the abdominal area. Grrrr.
IDK wtf to do ladies
The risk is the abdominal flap not receiving proper blood flow and dying. Leaving a hole that would have to be packed until it heals. He said he has two patients right now that have to come in and have their wound packed.....out of how many smokers? I have quit. I had a couple butts yesterday, and 2 butts this morning. Other than that thou, I am doing fairly well. Haven't killed anyone yet
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I healed great during the BMX. Dr said she would never have known I was a smoker the way I healed (yes, I asked since so much negativity is shined on smokers). I know there is a higher risk, but he has 2 complications of I wonder how many that smoke? Annnnd that he didn't mentioning postponing until now? UGH. I don't want to post pone and immediately gave my cigarettes away. IDK what to do. I am supposed to call them back by tomorrow.
Yes, I wish all of us lived closer. Can't we just build our own little islands? What do you ladies think? Stick with May 20th? Or postpone?
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BB- sorry the therapist has not been a better resource for you. Disappointing at best.
I still have problems with my feet. They were better after I went on the AI break after six months, and have had regular massages on my feet for the past three years. But since I switched to exastemene, it has changed again and they have been bad the past couple of weeks. I am back to icing the bottoms of them in the evening and also massage them with a foot lotion and it all helps. They seem better this week, but think my feet are forever changed, at least while I am on the AIs. When I went off of them the one time, my feet vastly improved. It may be that the SE's settled into your back where mine went into my feet. I am glad to hear you are feeling better.
Eldercare stuff is very difficult and I had times where I had to fly to the northeast to take my mother to the doctor when she refused to go! My client has a 70 year old mother who wants her daughter to take her to anywhere from 1-3 apts per week, and my client has three young children and a super high pressure job. When we met last week, she almost broke down about the whole thing and said she was going to loose her mind. I have a friend who helps folks with this stuff via counseling, and am getting them connected. It is so hard BB for those that work, but also for those that don't.
Simplicty- I love that you have a little garden pot planted! Also, I love the article you posted on your FB support page too about the five things my friends need to know about me in the post cancer world. I need to send that to a bunch of folks.
I have a couple friends who really want me to do some travel with them, including overseas. One of the friends is a very disorganized person and it is hard to do any sort of travel with her. Another friend I see regularly is such high energy and came to visit for a few days in March. We spent a couple evenings together and one whole day and I will tell you, it was non-stop. I used to be much higher energy than I am now and do run out of steam and when I do, I don't want to be pushed. The second friend really wants me to do an international trip with her but told myself I won't be able to keep up. Goes to the point of "I am not the same person and cannot do the same things anymore." All these folks are still good friends, but think our travel days are over.....
E- I hope you are doing okay in the construction zone.
Melp- how are you doing this week friend?
Thinking of other sisters here like Cubbie, Lilly, Milky, June, etc. and hope everyone is doing okay!
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BB- good points about the friends. The first friend is someone I enjoy visiting, but do realize we have never been on the same page when trying to travel together. I usually get invited to things I can't even consider (like skiing) and then she is mad when I won't say yes. I have learned who the people are who want you along for the ride, but really don't have a shared travel interest. She has a husband, but looks to me to do trips with her he won't do, like the ski trips. Ha ha, she has been asking me this for a solid 10 years when I told her I gave up skiing in 2005. I have some bad travel experiences around this stuff and just won't be put in that place anymore. Not everyone is a good travel buddy?
The second friend is the one I am more inclined to travel with. She is actually a great travel friend, and we like a lot of the same stuff. We have done way more trips together in the past and you are right that perhaps I need to say "yes I can go, but I cannot be going day and night." We have a couple ideas we have talked about including a trip to the Galapagos in So America and also a trip to Croatia and possibly either Hungary. I have never been in eastern Europe, only western, and Croatia has appealed to me. I told her next year I could think about it, but won't be able to this year.
I have done a lot of travel in my life already, and also think overseas travel is not as appealing. Maybe because I had my healthcare crisis and don't want to be in another country if something happens? So we will see, I do know I am not doing any overseas travel this year. I may take that decision year to year. And like you BB, I have some awesome memories of the travel done in the past. I like the idea of a good road trip now?
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Lol
Some people just aren't good travel buddies. Man ain't that the truth. Last weekend was rough due to one friend and her personality type. Love her dearly, thou I will limit my vacations with her. Wow.
Thanks BB. Maybe you're right. I know it's not the worst thing. Just. Frustrating. Wish he would have mentioned a postpone possibility. I think he may have the 2nd visit late last year, I seem to remember a vague reference to time frame of quitting smoking but it was a vague reference and I dont interpret vague as well as I use to.
Been so tired lately. Guessing it's stress. I now own a "but I'm 18 now, therefore an adult" HA. Yeaaaa....I also own a different model called "still the same rules as I had at 14?" A bit stressfull here. Just a bit
My Reba is beside me thou. So I have that lolNite all
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hi ladies here I am struggling but not much I can do about it. To me it seems the repairs are going way to slow as if they only work at it a few hours a day
I am now so frustrated setting up my air mattress in such a chaos place .I know is for the best and keep telling myself to hang in there.Jazz I am with on all what you are feeling I travel so much when I was healthy now is just not for me. Last trip to Europe when I git some king of food poisoning made me feel totally different about traveling to a non resort place. It seems I am not the same healthy person anymore and I just plan to take a trip all inclusive now when I can and it ll be to a place where I ll have all I need to just chill and tan even though I am not supposed to tan lol I just love to fry in the sun .
Regarding smoking I need to tell you I used to smoke and I know how hard it is even now I do feel like having a smoke from time to time but I don't cuz I just hate the smell but boy how I miss it. Simplicity try to think it is always going to be there available and after you recover from surgery who knows your body may not want it due to the smell hahaha after chemo I became very sensitive to smells and smoke is one that just makes me sick now. I do wish I could smoke specially these days where I am dealing with so much but the smell just won't let me. So just try to think as of a break for a few weeks or 2 months you ll be surprised how ur body ll clean up and then you may give it up for good which ll be the best. My poor sister was a smoker and even the day she past she had a smoke . My family alowed her to smoke till the end cuz we could have given her what ever she needed but inside I know we all hate the fact that cigarette could have play part on her bc . So yes please try and due an effort just as a short term get your recon then take it back or not I will suport any decisions lol as soon as my smell situation heal I am sure I ll be a smoker again lol I used to love a cigarette with a coffee or a drink now I can't even drink alcohol I am now a sisi lol
Hope you all have a great night
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