Single life after a mastectomy
Comments
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Gee-sorry I missed the party early this morning. Cab Sav=cabernet suavignon.
Deb, Sorry you had such a bad time at DMB. I never had such an experience, however, When my friend and I went several years ago, I did get seats instead of doing the Lawn. The crowd used to be more mellow. It has become younger, but there are still old farts like myself who have followed him from the early years. I have never seen his performances compromised. Yikes! Granted I haven't seen him in concert for about 4 years. I missed the last 2 years and he took a year off from the circuit. I will say one thing, Dave does tend to get a little weird at the mic and rambles on. If anyone looks up the episode of House that he acted in-worth the watch. I think his acting was excellent!I saw U2 a few years ago. One of my favs from college and remained on my bucket list. The predominant age group at the concert was the 40-50yo. The girl next to us was in her 20s and she brought her Mom to the concert as a treat to her. (they also drove in from another state).
There are times where the expense and the younger age groups give me pause when choosing concerts. The 'kids" often get too wasted too early on and really ruin the experience for many. In addition, I want to get home safely. so there's that.
Yes Debs. I was/am a single Mom.Had been with my sons father for almost 7 years and ending up breaking off with him and cancelling our wedding when I became preggos. Long story. But the bottom of a bottle became his companion in lieu of a family. I didn't start dating again until my son was 3. Often disappointed I would go months and sometimes years without dating. I would also get irritated when I thought I was taking time away from being with my son just to have yet another disappointment of a date or BF. I focused on school (which lead to financial independence), work, my son and later my sisters kids when they were born. Did I rob myself of finding happiness with a man after having so often removed myself from the social scene? Who knows. But in hindsight...there are so many other wonderful memories.......
When I did have the relationship of my life time, 5 years ago, I said Finally!!!!!! I am ready and found the man I am going to marry. Worth the wait! But.....shit happens.
The older I get-the older the men get-the more disappointed I have been, time after time. I also have a no bullshit attitude and will not nor cannot tolerate much. Soooooooooo. Here I am..................
And back to helping my son out. LOL
We have had a lot of rough patches in recent years. But I am a hopeful soul and will see how this plays out. To be honest....at 19yo He will still spend time with me, my sissy-her kids and my mom. I still have fun taking him out for dinner and going to sporting events. He's a funny and intelligent kid and sometimes a better "date".
I really have to get some housework done.
XOXOXOXO for now
Oh Bd posted the names of the last 2 guys Bradley Cooper and Barry Sloane.
Oh UGH! It is snowing again too...
I need to move to a warmer climate!
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As a side...Deb, Troy Palamalo is a beast of a safety on the field, but off he is a notoriously sweet guy.
Which is why I included the 'daddy pic'
But those arms man....I am a sucker for a well toned body!
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Deb - Yes, it bothers me. A few times, I've edited earlier messages. About a week ago, I deleted an old message that would've been a dead giveaway to everyone about who I am. Not that I have anything to hide... There are just some thoughts and feelings that I'd like to keep private - only discussing them with people who truly understand. Anyway, last I checked, that old message was still out there; whenever I google the information in it - medical information that anyone might search for - it's one of the first results that pop up at the top.
Piper - Thanks for sharing your experiences as a single mom. I wish my ex had left earlier - after the youngest was born but when I still was still healthy and younger. Maybe at least then I would've finished my education and secured a stable job.
Dwill - I was thinking - do you think your friend might've received some news from his doctors, and maybe he knew what might be coming? Sometimes people want to live life to the fullest after they receive news. It's good that you were there for him.
Deb - Just wondering - how long after your DX did the BF break up? Was he there for you at all?
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Deb, If I wrestle with something I have written or I just don't like the mind frame I was in at the time...I can delete. In the future if someone takes the time to read what we have written-they will get bored or get a hearty chuckle and like me, a few tears along the way. I am actually a very private person. It is nice to have a place to express myself and have an audience of women who share in some of the same thoughts feelings and struggles.
My private nature bugs the heck out of so many people in my life.. Before my surgery I had a friend betray my trust in the worst way. I could not cope with the hurt/pain so I just told her not to come to the hospital on the day of my surgery. She got it and didn't. I knew she would also drive my sister insane. I couldn't have 2 problems instead of one. She did come to the hospital on day 2 I think. Anywho my best friend from OH was in for my hospital stay and they both helped me get my shower......Now that is LUV! LOL.
Our friendship continues to be strained. It happens. I forgave her early on for the break in trust so I could get through my bigger struggle. But I do not tell her intimate details of my life. So our friendship fades. We are also coworkers......occasionally there are work gatherings that we will attend. She has 2 daughters who I miss. They are such lovely creatures. Some days I just do not know how much more hurt I can withstand. But I am lonely at times too. I always wonder if I am that bad of a judge in character. And then...if you don't take chances in life......you'll never know, never learn from them and worse yet won't feel human.
After all of these years and experiences in life I will admit that I am jaded and cynical. I try to keep it to myself mostly, because I hate that part of me. I do not like being subject to disappointment and heart ache time and time again. That is why I have to take breaks in my social life. I just get so depressed after being treated in such a disrespectful manner. Then I pull my big girl britches up and try again. Because more than being cynical and being knocked off so many pegs, I still have some hope.
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I am single and aged 47. It gives me hope that it is still possible to find love after mastectomy. I had my op. in June '13, and am still adjusting. I used to like my boobs and I hate having lost one. I am overweight and feel very unnattractive, as my cleavage was one of the best things about me. I have not been able to have reconstruction due to radiotherapy, and also because my BMI is too high. However, reconstruction sounds like a difficult and painful procedure, with possible complications.
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Ohhhh wow ladies i step off this site for a day and have so much to catch up lol
Dwill, I am so sorry i had a similar experience and always wonder what if? and why? Only time can help us with that pain.
Deb, Life Pip lmao thanks for the pictures, another guy that do it for me is the Prince from once upon a time lol will try to find a picture. I am still readying my book to make sure i pass my exam.
My sister biopsy results are this Friday, but the doctor wrote carcinoma tumor V. which its bc for sure so i know its not going to be good news
all my sisters and brothers are very worry but if it is bc we will survive. At least we are full of knolage now with me going through it. I honestly think there is not plan, it is just what it is for some of us.Tmw i have to bring my car to the mechanic and who knows how much will it be. Apparently the front wheel bearings are damage.
Anyway keep positive and keep the pic coming lol
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Oh here is some crap i am figuring out for my exam
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enerva,
oh sorry about the car, hope it's gonna be an easy fix.
and sorry to hear about your sis...i hope they caught it early....
and the exam, seems like a lot of math...
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Thanks June, I am going to pray if it is bc, that they will get it out fast, in my case they gave me chemo first and it did not work well, by the time they did my surgery my tumor was 13cm all the waiting screwed me. Now i will be aware of all the facts so i ll help my sis,
The exam is based on 16 chapters there are lots of theory and then 4 chapters of math
i have to be honest my chemo brain seams to forget a lot so i am a bit worry. here is my contribution for tonight to all of you lol
I love the first one. Channin Tatum
you ladies must watch his movies, lol so romantic lol
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MMMMMMMM I do so like those photos.
Doesn't help I am a hormonal mess. I just wanna jump in that boys lap and..............nevah mind
Oh E, it's just always something isn't it?
Keep us updated as u can about your sissy
When are you planning on taking your exam. (I do not like your math problems
)However, I always thought it was funny when people (kids and adults alike) would say they will never use math again in their lives.
HA! No matter our work or just life....you cannot get away from it.
While my son is at work I decided to get into his room and do a clean sweep. He is such a slob. I don't think he's going to be happy, but his pile of laundry will be done and he has clean sheets on his bed in addition to some space I freed up in his closet and dresser. (I kinda took over some of his dresser drawers when he was staying with his dad).
I am working the next 2 days 12 hour daylight. I don't wanna go...............
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BMI=Body mass index.
Now I understand Deb. I dunno if you can go back and change your name/user ID. But how many people are going to go searching on a cancer board for you. Just saying in a very honest and loving way. I do know that anymore you cannot underestimate what information may get out there.
Are you watching the Grammys? I am flicking it off and on.
I am so tired. Going to pick my son up from work @ 10pm. All I wanna do is sleep
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Oh noo i miss the Gramis? i will turn it on now lol hope its still going
good night ladies
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LOLOLOL Deb and E. Always good to have friends who do not like the same type of men.
I checked the settings Deb and it looks like you can change your user name.
The Grammys seem to be a lot of past and present duets or two artists from different genres doing a song together. I haven't made it through one song yet.
Oh..before I forget....I am including a link to a funny for the night.
Especially for those of you who like wine (almost as much as I do)
http://www.buzzfeed.com/aaltman/25-signs-you-drink...
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Well Deb, i am glad you don't like my Channin cuz i adore him lol oh what i could do to be right in those arms lol.
Well the Gramis humm so far i am not impressed ,i am waiting to see Madona
maybe she will be amazing 0 -
Ok
Better go to bed
good night
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Good morning, ,, so my nephew told me how to download movies and i managed to get the new Julia Roberts movie August Osage County. i an watching it and i wish i could live in Oklahoma lol far far far away, Sad movie though
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I have been watching some French romance comedy movies...lift up my mood. I have some heavy movies on my list that I think may be another time.
It's so cold out...but I need to head out to run some errands later....
Enerva....do ppl speak French in your area??
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june, no i am in the English side and no body i know speaks French
How is every body today? that movie was very sad.
Cruel
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When one door closes, another opens.
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Louise - Welcome. :-) I once talked with another woman who was told the same by her PS - that she had to lose weight before reconstruction. I don't know why because I always heard that reconstruction was easier when you have more meat on your bones. My PS said I didn't have enough to use. I purposely gained weight for the fat grafting, and he practically laughed that I thought it would be very much. (lol - Luckily, he didn't need too much.) BTW, I had radiation, too, and have had problems with reconstruction as a result. My PS advised me to have a lat-flap, but I wasn't willing to go through the much longer, bigger surgery. But, if you're willing, it might be an option for you to consider.
Redboots - That's something we should remind ourselves every day. "One door closes, another opens" - I like that. :-)
Deb, All - I remember that, once, here on this forum, I came across a post by a woman whose sister (or friend? I can't remember which) became very angry with her and stopped talking to her or helping her because she found the woman's messages on this forum. I don't know what the messages said or why she became angry. I don't want to make anyone worry, but when I saw that, I started worrying about my own posts. We're each sharing such personal thoughts... It's like a journal with all of us contributing. I wonder, Deb, if the admin moderators could change the screenname on your posts...?
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oh i wouldn't worry too much about it. no one would come here unless they're going thru something like this.
i am active on another board and someone recognized me....she reached out. i felt that was very nice of her....
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I suppose it can go both ways with posting. I did check the settings and it would seem that you can go in and change you screen name/ID. In fact. I will go and try it now to see if it works. I will be Bahhhhhhhck
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From Piper to guns-n-roses...LOL!!!!
Looks as if it changes your user name on everything you post.
TRY IT!!!!!
That said....When I was in school, we had to sit in on or participate in several types of community groups. One of them I chose was AA.
I knew that they had a group at a local church, phoned and was informed it was a closed group for women only. Intriguing and The group leader said she didn't think it would be a problem for me to sit in with the group as long as they all agreed. After several communications with whomever....I was allowed to attend this meeting. Imagine my surprise when the person I was communicating with had not fully informed the group. I understood the intimacy and privacy of the group and I was going to bow out when the group decided to allow me to stay as I was a soon to be professional, female and should be able to respect the groups anonymity. Imagine .........my utmost surprise when I entered the group only to know one of the women there . I was almost horrified as I did not want her to think I would betray her trust. It all worked out and she acknowledged that we were both professionals and what was said there, observed there........ stayed there.....Vegas Style
I would hope that anyone would respect us, but I do know there are those who like drama.....and that said........
Should I now be known as thorny?????
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Wow, I've got a lot of reading to catch up on to see what you ladies have been up to!
Deb, I've thought the same thing. Nothing like using my real name and picture for anonymity. Oh well.
Did you actually change it like someone mentioned? How will we know it's you? : P Codeword: LOL
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XOXOXO the poster formerly known as Piper
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"piper" I LOL'd when I saw that! So needed that today.
Is anyone else getting impaled monthly with a big metal lance with a horse pill on the end of it called Zoladex? Why the hell can't we just take it orally???
Of course I got the ditzy girl who was on her FIRST DAY and no one overseeing her. She jabs me in the stomache and pulls out the metal rod and 1/4 of the pill is still on there. So it's " Oh, sorry, I'll have to try it again." RU EFFING KIDDING ME??
So she shoves another one in and apparently the entire horse pill stayed in that time. She couldn't answer ANY of my questions of course since it was her first day. Ugh. Then I'm told I have to come back for FIVE YEARS??
Have you seen the freakin side effects to this stuff? What kind of "quality of life" is that?? UGH. Son of a biscuit.
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And they want me to be impaled for 5 years of this crap?!??
Side effects:
- mood swings
- hot flashes
- loss of libido
- vaginal dryness
- breast swelling or tenderness
- weight gain
- headaches
- bone pain
What man in his right mind is going to sign on for this?????
If you've been on Zoladex please tell me your experience. I'm freakin out over this bs.
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Life, I can see it now " My doctor wants me to eat this ding-dong. S'all good." LOL
Louise - It's scary, but you'll get through it. We're all here for you and like the mastercard commercials say " Priceless" is the word that comes to mind. I can't express some of the things I do here anywhere else. Not only would they not understand because of that they probably wouldn't want to hear it. Then as some others have mentioned, there's the professional ramifications possibly. I'm in a lead position and wouldn't want anyone I work with to have a changed opinion of me by hearing of my struggles.
Enerva, Prayers for you and your sister honey. I'm really glad the two of you are close and like you said, you have so much more knowledge now than what you would've had before. Plus, your foobs look great! I'm sure you'll be such a comfort to her no matter what the prognosis.
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Holy crap Tessa i have no idea about that one. All i was given after each chemo was an expensive injection liquid which i could not afford till got enrolled in some kin of a program. it was called Newlasta or something like that. i got 6 one ever 3 weeks. nothing after that.
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Wow, regarding the fact that people may find us here, i went back and deleted the pictures i had posted where i showed my face lol cuz i am like that at the time i posted it i was not thinking of what if other people come here and see me. You are right we have to protect our privacy. We must be careful, thats why i bother some of you by PM cuz sometimes there are thoughts i feel are best kept private. Deb i love your spirit,
Change your name here, once you do it, we will all follow you by the nickname I chose Enerva cuz in french i used to love to say. Ca m'enerva lol which just means. that piss me off, or so i guess i mean BC enerves me lol 0
