Single life after a mastectomy
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I wore a wig, and even people who knew I was in chemo didn't realize it was a wig. It looked very real. So when I got compliments from students, I said thank you. When I got compliments from coworkers I td them it was a wig. For me, it was way easier to just put it out there. It made me feel more confident knowing people knew. If I had tried to hide it all, I would have always felt like I was walking on egg shells.
Sorry about all the craigslist, bf missing stuff. I really hope I can find someone to love me. I can't even be looking yet. My husband is still here. But mediation starts the 28th. So hopefully he will be moving out soon. It's hard cause I don't want him to leave, but at the same time, if he's going to leave, then he should leave and let me heal.
Today is my birthday. And so many people have checked in with me to make sure I won't be alone. I am so touched. My son is still here (goes to college Monday). So we will spend the day together. Unfortunately, I have gotten a cold. Scratchy throat. Runny nose.
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Happy Birthday Bdavis !!!!!
i am glad your son is there to celebrate or just keep you busy during the day. I stopped celebrating my Bd long ago but i love to celebrate for others lol I wish all you desires come true. Have a healthy 2014 and all the years to come maybe be fill with health, love, and prosperity.
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Happy birthday, bdavis. :-) Birthdays suddenly seem much sweeter now, don't they? I'm sorry you're in the middle of a divorce on your birthday. Once he moves out, you'll probably feel very relieved. (I know I did - but, then again, I was married to a cheat.)
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Well guess what? my ex bbm me asking if he could come see me this Monday or Tuesday cuz he will be coming south to the city to pick up some parts for his business. I said Thanks but no thanks, i am proud of me. I have to be honest with you if my exchange surgery had been what i expected it could have been hard to say not to my ex lol but now that i hate how my breast look, it was so easy lol i dont want any man to look at me. It so bad to feel this way. I got a bra i ordered one that another lady recommended woacal brand or something like that and i was so happy and the realized what made me happy is that the C cup cover the entire breast even it fits a bit lose and again i felt sad, sad to get happy when i bra hides my breast. I will never wear a sexy bra again and it suck.!!!!!!!!!
hear i am venting again it seams i am now a vent vent vent person lol
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Thanks Deb, on thing do not give that credit to my PS, It was my Breast surgeon who after begging her and telling her this is what i wanted made the decision. When i met the PS and i explain to her what i wanted she smiled and said " Let see what your surgeon decides, its up to her, i only take over when she is done. I then place the TE and close the incisions she makes." So you see i then went back and asked my BS to perform that kind of surgery and i made sure i read the consent form where it was said. I give no credit to my ps she had an easy job, still she managed to use wrong size TE and here i am screwed.
You are right i am going to get it right maybe in a year since i wont be able to afford to be off work in 3 months but i will make sure this time its stated in the consent form. all must be on writing
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It's a good thing we have this spot to vent and talk with other women who understand. It seems we're all having the same worries, fears, etc. I'm still missing a man I grew close to after the separation. He was someone I thought I could trust. I'm the one who got angry and broke off the friendship, and I know the relationship would be all wrong, yet I still check my phone and e-mail looking for messages from the guy.
I'm still not working. Up to 13 years ago, I always had a job. I had money saved, too. The job, the savings, and every bit of financial stability I'd built up was lost during the marriage. I think I'd feel more confident in my situation if I had my own income coming in right now. I would love to have a job, but the current situation does not allow, and I don't know what kind of work I would do now.
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Enerva - You had radiation, like I did. I read that, when the PS uses smaller implants, that gives the irradiated side a more natural look. I think you're going to like the way everything looks after the fat grafting.
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Life you are right those guys do not deserve us yet we cant help to want a text or an email just a detail to know we matter. Anyway i know in this post we all understand each other
i love you all cuz no matter how bad i feel somehow telling you my thoughts helps me a great deal.0 -
Exactly! I've been thinking: I didn't even get a happy birthday or a merry Christmas or a happy new year e-mail message. You're right - we deserve better.
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Imagine my ex, the moron didnt even say happy new year, he never asked about my surgery which was on Dec 24, and now wants a booty call? You know i miss him so much but i cant do that to myself, on top of that i have not selfstime now but at least i have my pride, it hurts so much when i see how insensitive he is. In Dec i dropped off some gifts at his uncles shop so his father could pick it up, it was a few gifts for my ex nieces ( i loves those kids they are 2 and 4 girls) my ex sent me a bbm when he got it on Dec 17, and after that nothing. I had surgery on Dec 24, then New years came, and now....... its convenient cuz he is ciming to the city? f f f f f him. ;(
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You are so right, Enerva. That is so inconsiderate. It sounds like you are a very kind and generous person. I think you are making the right choice in turning this guy down now. But I know it's difficult. It was difficult for me, too.
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Life were are you?
most people here are in USA, i am in Canada, i know a few ladies here but they are not single so they have family and its not easy to meet them, i will love to sit foe a coffee with Deb or any of you so if any of you are in Canada and are single and feel like ever meeting or even talking on the phone let me know.
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Enerva - I'm in the northeastern part of the USA (New Jersey). I've never been to Canada, but if I ever do visit, I'll let you know. I'm financially broke right now, though, so can't do much of anything, anyway. :-( At least we all have this forum for talking.
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Trust me i am also broke, before bc i was not rich but i had some savings so i used to take mom to a nice cottage, i was a workaholic i never spent $ on cloth or things for myself but for others, the BC came and all went to hell, including losing mom, casual ass hole boyfriend and savings. Now i am thinking of how long will it take to pay of my credit line and save again so one day i can take a trip some where. Anyway yes if you come to Canada pls feel free to contact me i will love to meet you all cuz i know we really can relate to each other.
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yeeeeessss lol how was your day at work Deb?
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Deb... we were meant to be concert buddies!!!!! (The dirty look ....lmao! It's the end of days...but I do keep thinking....good gosh.....wonder if anyone would get used to the odor and seriously....how do all of the women stay clean shaven------really??)
E-Dayum girl.....I am impressed with your strength and resolve. So I have decided that we could just live in a compound of sorts. I do not mind working as long as the rest of you do my share of laundry, cooking, housework and home improvements.
Happy BiRtHdAy B-D!!
Awwww Life, I see a theme here with this group....broken hearts and banks. I always joke and say I need a sugar daddy, problem is I cannot live that kind of existence ....SHHHHHHHH I truly am a sucker for the idea of a soul mate ........
Been a long day and another to go.............
Sweet dreams dear ladies.....
xoxoxoxo
Piper
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enerva - if i ever go to canada, i'll def visit you. we'll have dinner.
deb - what heat you're talking about? i got a little rest today. still very tired tho...i need a lot of sleep nowadays. i started yawning already lol
bdavis - happy birthday!! hope you had a good time with your son.
piper - we all need a soulmate but right now i can have a good friend a good listener.
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lol yes pls visit me, i am such an ignorant i have not idea where in the map is NJ lol how far is it? Maybe one day i can come visit. I will google tmw. My best friend lives in Denver Co and she has been twice to visit me. If i go i will check on you ladies. lol Well i am broke now so not anytime soon but one day in the years to come lol
good night
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Enerva - I know very little about Canada. :-( But, I just checked Google Maps, and it looks like 7 - 8 hours drive between where you are (near Toronto?) and many of us in the northeast. So, we're all really not so very far apart. Maybe one day... when we all have money to travel... lol... we can have a meetup. :-)
So, Piper, then you're a romantic at heart, too. :-) Are we all fooling ourselves with this whole "soulmate" stuff? It seems, my whole life, I kept thinking I finally found "the one" - only to be disappointed again and again. Men do seem to see things differently than we do (lol), that's for sure.
Goodnight, everyone!
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Thanks life, ok 7 or 8 hours is not so bad lol Yes we will keep in mind a meet up one day.
I also think we must start been realistic, if there is a soul mate out there, he better find us, i have not intention of waiting for him anymore. lol
Men do think different and i really think its all about luck, maybe i never had any when it came to meet the one. lol
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETSY!
Have some cake and a big glass of wine.
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OMGosh, I'm so where you girls are ! I'm completely exhausted. I go from either being in extreme pain 8+ or take the drugs and I'm comatose for like 4 hours and then in a fog once I am up. How the heck am I supposed to go back to a classroom 10 hrs a day? There's no way! OMG. My January bills are paid, but as far as February I'm screwed.
I so understand wanting a man to care about you, missing sex, etc. For now, I've just got to rely on platonic guy friends and my vibrator.
( Too much? ) Lol
A guy friend said it looked like I was before after I received another 80cc's on Friday. Pfft, the man is either blind or trying really hard to be supportive, because I look like a guy. I had perky D's before. Now there lumpy, wrinkly, scarred little lumps on my chest. YEAH. (For those of you that don't know me really well, that was sarcasm. lol )
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Lol Tessa i am glad you are back, yes its very hard right after MX, keep positive it will get better.
Wow weekend is over i just did some grocery shopping and got pain again maybe the bags were too much to carry even though i didnt get much. ;(
$45.00 and i didnt even buy any meat.
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Oh I know, it's crazy isn't it?
You probably don't have a Meijer where you live do you?
Is there a pantry or cancer organization in your town that could help you with food expenses?
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Ok, here's the latest. Just had two drains pulled out (bringing me from 4 to 2) and another 80cc's put in. This puts me at 380cc's and the ps is only looking to go to 500!
Probably should've put this in the other thread. lol My bad.
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Tessa - The 500 cc's might end up looking much larger than you're expecting it to. Will you have radiation? That's where complications with reconstruction could enter the picture, but there are ways to manage the effects of radiation on reconstruction.
BTW, reading the posts written here is like reading my own thoughts. We're all so much alike.
Well, ladies, I had a little incident here tonight. Thought I might be having a heart attack - sudden chest pain that radiated all over my chest and shoulders and in my back - couldn't breathe at all. So, my sons called 911. I didn't want to go to the hospital with the ambulance, though, because I already was feeling better when they arrived. But, I'm thinking I might've overdosed on Vitamin D3, or maybe it was just gas pain - maybe the implants made simple gas pain feel worse...? I don't know. Anyway, I think I have to take myself to the ER, just to be safe. Here we go with another bill to pay... (sigh).
Has anyone else here experienced this kind of chest pain? Just curious.
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oh life, feel better....pls let us know how it goes....
(((hugs)))
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OMG life, hope you are ok.
Tessa, you will be ok looks like its healing nice.
Deb, ll PM soon
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Life, I did experience that pain as well, but I had the ports put in my back. (Epidurals?) They just upped my pain meds after checking vitals.
Deb, those brown circles are just the band aids the ps put on after the injections. LOL I know, they looked weird.
I just feel saggy, small, scarred, sore, and YUCKY looking for lack of a better term. Ugh, it has got to turn out better than this....
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Well, it looks like it was a false alarm. The EKG, x-ray, and bloodwork looked just fine. This little (but very expensive) :-( incident just demonstrates what we were saying earlier about needing to take good care of ourselves, resting more often, and trying to relax more.
Anyway... Tessa - You're still healing. You may feel much better about the reconstruction after your next fill.
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