Single life after a mastectomy
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Jazz hope you Mammo goes well,
Wow new stove, another lemon indeed
I was thinking about something and wonder what is your opinion. So i was thinking can we make our muscle grow and be strong again even after Rad? I mean i was told my muscle is extremely thin and i wonder if by picking up a chest exercise it could become better so if it grows it will eliminate a bit of the rippling of this gd implants, well to be honest i am weak i can do much exercise but i am wondering in case as plan b, in case i dont find a doctor wiling to change the implants
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Piper - OK, I'll be right there. (lol)
Enerva - I wish I knew the answer to that question. Has anyone else here tried lifting weights? I just know that it feels strange whenever I lift anything and must flex the muscle. For a while, I was working out, doing crunches, and doing exercises the physical therapist told me to do. But, just pushups alone felt weird.
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Hi all i was all day studying math again lol a girl that failed the exam came over and we went over some exercises, her exam is next Saturday.
Yes i try exercising before wile i had the TE and it felt weird. I just wonder if the muscle can be back to been strong and maybe gain some size
so improve the rippling. I will research about it. 
i guess i am already worry after that PS said i should leave it the way it is i have been depressed again. 0 -
Hi single ladies- had my mammo and ultrasound exams today. The radiologist wanted to do an MRI, but I got a call back later in the day that she and the breast surgeon conferred that the MRI was not needed. So I am good now until my nex six month, outside of some new genetics test the BS suggested I do and should know more on that in a few more weeks.
I got my application in today to BSBC for my new insurance plan. Been working on this since January to determine what plan was going to work with coverage, providers, etc. So that is now in the works and will have continuing coverage beginning 5/1. It is still expensive (I chose a high coverage plan as I can write off the premiums through my business vs. incurring more out of pocket which I rarely can write off due to income), but still pay around $100 less per month. If any of you are getting new insurance through the market place, just remember you have until the end of March to get your application in and approved.
Still struggling with this bad head cold, but hopefully with the weekend to rest, I can get a bit more down the pike on this. I think the cold is being further complicated by allergies, which are in full swing where I live.
Hope everyone else is having a good end to this week.
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BB- thank you for the good wishes today. A sense of relief tonight to be done with this last follow up.
I have had to shop for insurance before since I am self employed and had to buy individual plans in the past, so I knew a bit from that process but the new insurance exchanges are not easy to navigate. I wanted to stay with BSBC so it was a matter of finding the right plan that included all my doctors, right co pays, etc. Took me a good three or four phone calls with them to get comfortable with the final choice.
You are probably right that getting a job may be the better focus right now, and you have until the end of March if you need to do something. Any new job may give you insurance too, which is a plus with FT employment!
I think the surgeries we have all had are such a personal decision. I think we all do the best we can at the time to get the care we need and hope for the best!
Hoping everyone has a good weekend. We are hoping for rain here in the desert tomorrow.
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Hi, i also wish you all a great weekend
one more cute picture
looks like us lol
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Enerva- great picture! I am the one half way out on her face (LOL!)
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BB- you will find your way through these murky times. There are just a lot of things going on in your life with the recent job loss, bc, issues with the previous relationship/legal matters. Any of those is enough on it's own, all together it must be very overwhelming.
I was in that place two years ago with a series of things one after another that made me feel like my life had completely unraveled in a six month period. I just made me just scream inside "enough" to the universe. Inside I was screaming, outside I just became very numb and stoic about the whole thing.
I am just here to say that I did not think I would make it through most of any of it- to survive a few things physically I went through, as well as recover emotionally, financially and the rest. I won't say I am back to where I was, there is not really a going back, but am able to live my life fairly well these days.
Just take things one day at a time, even though you may be juggling multiple things each day. You have a good sense of what you need to do and just take care of yourself on every level, fellow warrior!
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Popping in between shifts. Of course I am the one on its back, trying to mock Jazzy who fell outta the crib cuz she couldn't meet me shot for tequila shot.
Geez BB, you are such a light weight.
Luv ya gals. Thinking of you
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
I will be here MOnday night waiting out the storm!!!!
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My only redeeming factor. I will never grow up or straighten myself out. But.....I figure, everyone needs a goofball in their life
Muwahhhhh
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BB, i think the same as you, i wonder sometimes, i am like your mom, i loved the way sex was with my ex so much that i can not imagine been with someone else. Its such a waist that we are apart lol we are so into each other when close. Now that i am not happy with my body looks or feel, i dont think i ll be with anybody again. It sucks but thats is the way i feel now.
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I still check in. I've been wondering where many of our other friends are, though.
In answer to "The Question," I can identify and relate with what both BB and E have said - it was one of the first thoughts I had after I discovered the cheating. I was still mostly bald and covered with surgical scars at the time. All I could think was: "I just wasted 25 years with someone who's been lying to and cheating on me. And now no one would want me." Oh, I'm sure a man might be willing to use me for a while, if I let him. (In fact, I know of one who would.) But, that's not what I need. If there's a man in my life at all, he has to be someone I can trust fully, someone who wouldn't run away in horror from me, someone who would stay with me when I'm sick, someone who would care so much that I wouldn't have to ask him to be there for me - he would do everything to be by my side. (Because that's how I am with a man when I'm in love.) I just can't imagine that such a man exists. At least not for me.
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Wow life i totally get that, you describe the man i wanted my ex to be. I see so many couple who have that. Ladies who somehow found him and i always wonder, how come i never met the one out there for me? Now i feel its too late, i honestly want to focus on getting a job which i can enjoy and get out of this black hole i somehow ended up. I have not desire to look for love now. I enjoyed been with my ex and that is all in the past now. I am done searching i want to get a job and as soon as i can i will start some activity to start enjoying life.
I also wonder what happen to the others, specially Tessa, she must be starting Chemo soon. Hope she is well
Anyway have a great Sunday everyone
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Good morning- ah the sex question. Not sure if it will be part of my future, but also for me, it does not seem to be that important to me anymore. I had not been in a relationship for awhile before all the health issues (hysterectomy and bc all around the same time in 2012). All of that left me with no drive anymore. And then like others here, I have concerns about my body image with the scars, although a year and a half later, they all really look so much better. And maybe it's not really sex, but more of an intimacy I crave at this point in my life.
I think for me what I can see in the future is meeting someone, liking them enough to want to give it a try, but knowing I will need to have a very frank conversation with them before about all that has been. My gyn also told me that with being on the Arimidex, if I should become sexually active, I will need to come see her for some vaginal estrogen creme. Otherwise, sex may not be very comfortable for me. So it's going to be more of a planned thing vs. a spontaneous thing, if it does happen.
Life and others with those former lying and cheating (never mind stupid) men- those types of men are everywhere. I have been with them too, and they leave your heart and self-esteem in a shambles. There are always men out there ready to provide sex to women, any woman, but we don't want that. I will only share of myself with someone who is patient and can show me he really cares about me first before anything else happens.
We need to raise the bar up and ask the right men to step up ladies!
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i think breast cancer is not the term which define us .i dont miss sex but i miss good company intimacy to some you like to watch movie or food.at the same time so difficult to share my medical history with full of scars .thats is the big obsticle for us .for me to tell someone look my 20 yrs husband left me coz of my breast cancer is that ok for you to accept me as what i am .i think all the good human beings are occupied hahaha
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Lol wow i am thinking that we are just human and we deserve to be treated as such. What i liked about my ex is that he acts as if bc does not matter to him. The problem is that i need more caring like you ladies say the been there for us when we need a hug, or simply need to hang out. I agree Sex is not longer the issue we need love. Genuine love
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BB- I read a great article this morning by one of my yoga teachers about our "disposable society". Jobs that get eliminated, marriages that end, friendship that dissolve because you can no longer do something for somebody. I think commitment these days is very different than the baby boom children's parents time.
My parents were married for 54 years. They started with marrying during WWII, my dad went off to war, came back in tact, and finished college. My mother had to deal with a dying mother and mentally ill father in her 20s, along with two small children. Later, they went through the death of a child when he was age 40 (my brother) and also my fathers decline from early Alzheimer's disease. I know they struggled through many years together, but they created a very stable period for us growing up. They stuck it out which is probably pretty rare these days.
Dating and companionship, yes. Marriage for me, no.
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It seems we're all thinking the same way.
I know people in their 40's and beyond who will not commit to one person. They just move from one partner to the next. A few nights with this one, a night with that one, etc. I've been told that I should do the same thing. One guy told me that I should be "living it up" after surviving BC. Of course, he defined "living it up" as sleeping with him - lol. (Oh, brother!) I'm a cancer survivor and also a parent of teens and a tween. Yes, I'm also a woman. But, if the man is not planning to be with me at the end holding my hand, then I don't need him in my life. Of course, I have to keep reminding myself that I can do this alone. It can be difficult, as I know you all know and understand.
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bosumblues good and positive suggestion for us.we should change our thinking i wish .but i feel pain when i see couples in their 40 s in 50s holding hand or crossing road my share of love is done or what so many other occasions on parties or small things like if husband try to pay coffe bill for his wife may b 3 dollars or 5 but it matters a lot that means somebody cares for you .somebody reminds you to wear your glooves or small things.bieng single effects me socially .emotionaly.physically.
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The Oscar..... have a great week ladies
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Oh guess who i just saw on the Oscar awards lol
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Before I can read anything......
E! E! E!
Channing alert !!!!!!
Are you watching the Oscars????
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LOLOLOL! E! I didn't even see your post, I was so darned excited
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Jazz, nice post on what we should give up.
I am seriously thinking I need some counseling. I hate how much I have isolated myself.
How little I trust anymore, blah blah blah
Makes it rather difficult to develop any kind of intimacy when the heart and head cannot make amends with the wounds that need healed.
Not sure I am making sense, I don't even mind my surgical scars so much as the battle within me, I have been fighting.
I have some varying views and experiences with long and short term relationship. As close as I got to being married was my sons dad...and I dodged that deadly bullet of a relationship. Anyhow.........Did anyone ever see the movie with Allan Alda? I believe it was called "Same time next year" about a man and a woman who see each other briefly once a year. This goes on for many into their older years.
Something rang true with me after seeing that flick. For some reason.
I was so hurt by my ex BF, the only man I truly loved, that while I don't want to go back, I miss that deep connection we had. It was as easy as breathing. Folding laundry was fun. Him grading papers while I read. The sex..was so deep and so connected I was lost in it.
He was a diabetic and had asked me what would happen when he could no longer "perform" or experienced issues. I loved him so much that honestly it didn't occur to me that anything would be lost.
Our parting was heartbreaking but needed. But there are days where I too wonder if I will ever find anything/anyone who will make me feel that alive..inside and out.
Oh bleh.....sorry
I think the Oscars are kind of depressing me. As i realize how many actors have passed and how many have aged, now I realize how much I have aged too.
Could I feel any sorrier for myself tonight
OK
tomorrow chipper goofy me is coming back
I do not like my dark reflective side.
But ty for making me think and for listening
xoxoxoxo
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Hi ladies,
I feel badly reading your posts of despair. Conversely, I have faith in my future. I believe there is a man out there who will love me and be my soul mate. Perhaps I am optimistic because my husband didn't cheat on me, and still finds me attractive. But I believe that you all should have the same hopes. This morning I turned the tv on and Joel Olsteen was doing his sermon, and his topic was damaged goods. He talked about damaged groceries selling for less because of a dented can or ripped label, pointing out that the contents were just as good as the full sale item. And compared this to people. How you might consider yourself damaged goods because of a divorce or separation, but inside, you are worthy, lovable and no less than your friends who seem to have it all. Don't get me wrong, I don't usually listen to JO, but it did strike a chord with me.
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Thanks, Bdavis, for your upbeat post. Every single one of us here (imho) deserves to have a soulmate - someone who can be trusted, who will not lie, cheat, or leave when the going gets tough. The fact that you are feeling positive probably means that you will meet your soulmate.
I'm convinced that, after all this talk about not meeting someone special, at least one (if not more) of you here is going to meet someone soon. Why? Because that kind of thing tends to happen when you least expect it.
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My apologies.
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BB, I saw some of your posts about what happened with your job. I would definitely consult with a labor attorney. It seems to me that it's highly unlikely that anyone with at least average intelligence would take your note as true threat warranting termination. Maybe a suspension or a warning, but not termination.
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Hi single ladies- new mantra for this week "I am worthy of love and kindness from a man!"
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