Single life after a mastectomy
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Milkyway- love the picture and the words that go with it. We loose things, we gain things. We grieve that which was, we rejoice for that which is.
I had open abdominal surgery in 2012 around the time I was diagnosed, and had a full hysterectomy. Not sure when you had your surgery, but it takes a long time for all those muscles to heal. I too hope you don't have to take pain meds indefinitely.
I hope you feel better. Hugs.
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Good night ladies, Milkyway2 i agree with Jazz it takes time for the muscles to heal. I still have pain in the upper body but now it comes and goes, along with burning feeling. I take pain killers before bed time and i can imagine how painful it must be for you, I see the surgery you guys had and i think you are all so strong. Hope you get better soon. Sending you all hugs!!!
Nite nite
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Wishing everyone here a good week!
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OK E, what does the bubble say on your new profile pic?
And...you were going to meet up with MW? How cool!!!
Hoping you two have a chance to reschedule soon and can enjoy each others company.
BB-truth be told-I wish I had the energy I used to have. I try-but believe me when I say I still require my down time. I do work 12hr shifts, but I am exhausted from them like I had not been prior to surgery. I had a very difficult time and many adverse side effects from Tamoxifen. On top of that I developed some bad habits as a result of the fatigue, depression and discomfort I was having while on the med. Now that I am off-some things have gotten better, but I continue to have a hard time reclaiming the old skinny-spunky-fit and active me.
Baby steps
I did go to my sissys yesterday to visit my favorite little people. We rode bikes and played soccer-wow-how out of shape I really am. lol
The next door neighbors saw I was there and invited me to join the rest of my family in celebrating their daughters B-day. Their daughter is 10yo and friends with my little folks-she occasionally calls me Aunt like my kiddos do. If 3 kids call me that why wouldn't she. It was cute the first time she did it-she asked what she should call me and if Aunt "piper" would be ok. Yesterday she saw me outside and ran right up to me to give me a great big hug. Of course, when my son is with me, I am chopped liver and all of the kids clamor for his time and attention.The neighbor, Patty, said I could join the party at my own risk! LOL! Apparently there are some 'different' family members. We ended up having a nice time and I blended a little too well with all of the odd family members. I do not know if that is a good thing or a bad thing HAHAHAHAHA
Anyhow...I know some parts of the states are supposed to be experiencing another warm up today. It is still chilly here-waiting.
My coworker sent me 4 text regarding the meal I dropped off. Truth be told-I have always had a fear of cooking for others. (even though I like to dabble with recipes)
First text "You. Are. The. Best. Cook. Ever.!!"
Second text "I do not know what is wrong with your son" (Many times I cook and my son doesn't eat what I make)
Third text Was a picture of her daughter holding a piece of the no bake peanut butter bar. "Abby wanted me to specifically tell you how much she enjoyed the bars"
Fourth text (after I expressed my usual hang ups about cooking for others and how pleased I was they liked their dinner)
"you made my family very happy"
Success! Maybe I do know how to cook HAHAHAHAH
Alright ladies enough of my rambling. I may take a little nap while I wait for the temps to rise. I haven't slept in a day yet and I am really tired.
Have a wonderful day, passing around tons of hugs and warm thoughts. Catch up later.
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BB
.I just want to give you a big hug
I see the sun coming out....finally!!!!
I wish we could all just hang out in the drive way, drink wine or water LOL! and gab the afternoon and evening away!
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Hi ladies, Well my family in Vzla own two beautiful Amazon parrots , they talk a lot and we all love them very much, my sisters never allow anyone to set up a nest for them, and they always look for a nice place and act as if they do want to have some babies, I made the little bed you see in the picture lol i sent it to them but it is too small it only fits one at the time. Anyway i made that msg and it says: " In what language do we need to say we need a nest? " I sent it to my sisters and they had a good laugh. They hang it for them to play and they like it. here you can see them checking it out. They are free in one of my sister s apartment on a 14 floor lol
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Have any of you heard about an exercise called Nordic walk? I join a group, i will attend my first walk this Saturday morning. The first walk is $6 and it includes the walking poles and basic lesson lol I will give it a try. here is the link Milkyway let me know if you could like to do something like that. Its on the west end. I figure i need to start walking, and i am going to keep my bc to myself i am not going to tell any of the members about my past. I have been thinking the only way people are going to treat me as a normal person is if they dont know about my past
I will let you all know how it goes. BB, thanks for telling me the pills will take weeks since i have been feeling the same .http://www.meetup.com/NordicWalkingMississauga/?gj=ej1c&a=wg2_recgrp
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Hi ladies- just checking in with everybody. Anyone see the final episode of True Detective? I know there are some fans here.
Enerva- I have a friend who used the poles for walking. I went on a yoga retreat once and we did a walk/hike and he used the Nordic poles. He used it for stability as he had knee issues. I think it would be great to try out. Exercising helps us to get stronger and maybe some new friends to meet through the group.
BB- I am sorry things are so hard for you. I have had my times with depression and sleeping a lot was a common thing. Things have been hard for you.
Piper- you seem like you have good energy, although I understand you probably had a lot more at one time. Me too. It is just not the same for us after this. Many of my friends don't understand this. I tell folks I just don't over extend or overcommit anymore (and think that is probably a good thing that has come from all this stuff).
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Hi girls, i just wanted to say hi. I saw something on youtube and i will give it a try. Its a recipe : 2 alo vera leaf, 1 liter of honey, 6 tspoon of wisky. blended then take a spoon before every meal. Have any of you done that? lol
I guess i am desperate to try anything thaf may help me prevent c, from coming back I am just not wiling to take chemicals i am having a hard time taking the antidepressants too.
Let me know if any of you have try that alovera drink.
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Thanks Ladies... Friday night was miserable... husband was really really mean. But I once again tried to explain my offer and then left town to see my parents. He made a 180 in attitude. Not sure what happened... maybe he paid attention to my offer and realized I was being super generous. I had to get it into a spreadsheet so he'd see how nice I was being. BB, I am holding my ground, but also keeping the calm and peace in the back of my head. Or hopeful calm and peace.
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Oh my god i am watching little couple, and to see Jen with stage III cancer. I am so sad, i admire those two for how challenge their life is already and now cancer.
I can believe it. I hate C every day more
Good night
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ha ha ha ha yes i know lol
But he already said he will be mine if he ever divorces his beautiful wife ha ha ha
I am glad you are back here BB, I got a girl from my Real Estate Class to join me on Sat to the Nodic walk lol it ll be fun. I need someone to push me. She just found out she passed the exam so she ows me lol i helped her with math.
I called HR. this morning and the lady told me my position is not longer there, so that i have to wait for my manager to call me that he will let me know what is available and if I will be in the same department and duties etc. Who knows what will happen to me now. I am so stress thinking about it.
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BB- please do! There is one part I thought was the absolute best part. Will see what you think. I will miss that show. A friend gave me an article about the writer that is in Rolling Stone and going to read it this weekend.
Hope everyone is having a reasonable week. It has been a difficult week for me on several fronts but I am getting through it. I realized today I feel like am a butterfly in a cocoon trying to re-emerge into my new self, and struggling just like the butterfly does.
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I saw the finale too
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Hi ladies, i just wanted to stop by and wish a great weekend and a happy friday. I will see that doctor tmw to see how my week was with this new med. I also manage to convince my new young friend to join me on the nordic walk on Sat. This is a 30 old girl who feels sad to be 30 lol every time she tells me she feels old and goes on about not having a man bla bla bla i tell her to stop cuz it depresses me more ha ha ha if she is old what am i? . Anyway she is very shy from Vietnam and she knows i wont tell any body about my bc, so its going to be good. I feel better going with someone since it is the first time i meet those people. If it is fun i will continue to join them. I have to be honest i have been consume with Vzla situation and waiting for that doctor to see my sister today. She may start Chemo tmw ;( I wish i could be home to help. I bought a lotto last night i keep looking at the money i am down and i wonder how will i pay it back. I have to find a way. I left a mgs for my manager and no surprise he never call me back, maybe today i will hear from him. I am not sure what is going to happen. Last night i did an attempt to straiten my hair and i was not impressed lol it is still too short here is a picture what do you guys think? lol
ok not sure but it does not let me upload the pic
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BB, i am with you on that therapy.
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Do any of you watch GraceAnathomy? The way that doctor feels thats exactly how i feel. She described her life after she lost her leg and how before the accident she was a happy person, and now she does not wake up happy anymore. She is force to learn to be in this new life.
Anyway hope you ladies have a great night
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hi ENerva and all awesome ladies i am going tom to blue mountain .its a cousins reunion i am so excited .need a change badly .we had big strom on wed i hope it was last episode of winter .keep smiling .keep ur self busy .think positive .
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lol
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Milkyway- I hope you have a great time at your cousins reunion. I have one back east in July this year and so looking forward to it. Change of scenery does us good. Will you tell us about it when you return?
Enerva- I do watch Grey's Anatomy but have not in awhile. I sort of lost track of it during that season of the plane accident and when that woman lost her leg. I agree we just don't and can't be the same after all this. It is all a matter of getting used to the "new normal" for me, both outside and in. I have less physical changes than most of you will the full mastectomy, but I am very different inside from the whole experience.
BB- go ahead and scream. If you are worried people will hear you and think you are being murdered, scream into a pillow. We all need to find ways to release all the sadness, frustration, and pain that goes with life sometimes.
So what did all of you think about the True Detective finale? I thought the end where they were in the parking lot talking was so incredibly powerful. I hope they do a Season 2, but this first one is a tough act to follow. I read an article about the writer and he is from the bayou of Lousianna. He is also a novel writer, which I realized as his series really plays out like a short novel/short story.
May the weekend be better for us all.
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Jazz, i watched the detectives last episode, i am sad its over. Yes i agree the last part with them at the hospital parking lot was so good. I was afraid Mathew was dead at some point. It was a great ending.
I am siting at my family doctor, waiting to get a prescription i try taking tylenol and i cant help it to be in pain, its like a burning pain they said its normal its the nerves but i cant stand if specially at night. So i call the doctor since i was in downtown and they say i can see her at 6:30 good lord i stay in town now hours waiting, hopping she gives me a prescription for pain killers, the other doctor said to take now two happy pills ,and hope it will improve my happiness lol I am not sure about it yet. How is everybody?.
what is the plan for the weekend. ?
Anyhow hope you all do well this weekend
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Enerva- hope you get all the meds you need for pain and the rest.
I have a busier than normal social weekend. Dinner tonight with a friend/work colleague I have not seen in awhile. Party for a friend tomorrow who turns 50 (they are bigger drinkers so I am going for a bit but not staying for the heavy duty partying). Brunch on sunday with a friend (fellow survivor) and trip to the gym with her. She just joined and think it helps to have a gym buddy as you get started. We are both swimmers.
BB- let us know what you think of the last two episodes.
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Well i just got home, and my poor sister got her first Chemo today, this afternoon at 5:30pm I feel so sad, here i am crying cuz i know what a night she will have
she sent me a picture my other sister took of her wile getting the Chemo. I am sad, what can i say it what it is. I will push myself for that walk tmw, i will take pictures and i ll forget about everything for one hour i am sure i wont sleep tonight. 0 -
Bb, u better believe it i may not have much sleep tonight and i want to cancel that walk but it maybe the only hour i may get to pretend nothing is happening so i ll try to make it. If that girl doesnt come with me i will still go. I need some air tmw early so i can be strong the rest of the weekend i havent been out at all like you. I wish i could stay indoors all the time. Good night. I ll keep u all posted as per how her next hours go. ;(
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BB- I have only very recently started doing more socially. I met a friend for dinner tonight who I have not really seen or talked to much the past few years. I told her I have not been very social in awhile due to all I went through with family losses and health issues. She is a nurse and totally gets it. No judgement either.
You need to do what feels right for you. Staying in to take care of yourself and the rest is often the best thing to do. You have been pretty beaten up by life lately.
Enerva- I know you worried and understand. My sister got diagnosed before I did, I was with her for her first chemo treatment. Being so far away is so hard for you.
Exercise does help everyone. If nothing else, a few endorphins to help us along our way.
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Stopping in quickly to say Hi and Give great big hugz
I have been trying to spring clean. My kitchen has turned into a 4 day job. Literally took EVERYTHING out of the cupboards and pantry....cleaned pitched, reorganized, painted and still need to clean up after Tropical Storm Piper!
My best guy friend (EVER) demanded I join the crowd for tomorrows St Pats day celebration. I believe My city is the second largest parade and celebration in the US (aside from Boston?!)
I have been doing the solo, hermit, loner thing this week. I went to the Home and Garden show on Thursday-by myself. Have some people coming out to give me estimates for flooring and bathroom work as a result. Doing the Shamrock shuffle tomorrow and have been walking when it has been nice outside. We have gone through all four seasons in the last 3 days I kid you not. Warm and sunny, raining, then windy then snowing. Warmed up again today and then the temps are to dip again. It has been from 20 degrees to 70 this week. Crazy!!!
Sunday I may go see "Once" the musical. I asked my neighbor, however, she cannot go. I may just go alone. It is such a chore to phone, text and get constant Nos from so many.
I am not happy we are all in the same boat, but relieved that I am not alone in this journey....in my feelings and the confusion that can follow us on the other side of treatment. I am still in awe of the perseverance and everyone's willingness to put it out there- the highs and lows.
I am not sure how to feel about this, but briefly I will share the latest as of tonight.
I dated a guy in college........My (TMI) very first guy I was totally, sexually compatible with. You never forget the one that gave you your first big 'O'!........and stole your heart...
We had reconnected via FB several years ago. He lives in Ohio, but he and I dated again and traveled between our two places for several months.
I am not sure what happened.......he became distant......calls and text became less and less, then non-existent. The last time he contacted me ended up being e-mail. seriously!? we went backwards! I was hurt. We have known each other more than half our lives. He did text me again at some point at which time I retorted that I thought our friendship stood for more and would not tolerate being treated like anything less. I unfriended him on FB and called it a day. At some point, he friended me again and eventually I accepted. To be honest, I cannot harbor ill feelings for long, unless it is something REALLY BAD! At the time, I was upset. Now I felt ambivalent. I saw something today and posted on his FB wall. Later he messaged me and so the conversation went. He asked if he could phone me and we spoke for a couple of hours. I cried and I laughed. Funny how a guy can make you feel like that young girl again. I didn't tell him my recent struggles, but eluded to the fact that the last couple of years have been a little difficult. He explained himself and told me about some of his struggles. In the end he said I letting me go was the worst mistake he made and he was truly embarrassed for the way he treated me and made me feel. He wanted to be clear, when we were together it was all he held onto, but when we weren't it was all he could do to make it through the day. He was in a bad job with miserable people and eventually was let go and out of a job for several months. I understood, but let him know that I did not appreciate his lack of trust in my ability to be there for him.
Anyhow.....seems I have to decide whether to give it another chance. time will tell. And here I thought it was another woman or that I was totally incapable of sustaining a relationship. (oh yeah, I told him that much too)
I warned him I am not the same, physically or emotionally and he seemed to accept that because he feels the same way about himself.Should I??????Gosh...wth happened to this site since I have been gone?
It is wonky!!!
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Wow, Sand good for you, i say why no? Love is beautiful and i wish you all find it again
I slept maybe two hours, i just couldn't
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Ok so i got this mgs at 5am from my girlfriend :
Clar... I'm so tired..haven't been sleeping... I don't want to get sick walking in the cold. Can I walk with you next time when it's warmer? I hope you won't be mad with me...please forgive meeeeeee I feel so bad but I'm soooo tired. Don't be mad k
There you go, i told her if i slept two hours i could be lying, so i am glad she cancel, i sent a cancel mgs to the walking group and booked for next Sat.
I am so tired
i am in my bed staring at the ceiling still can sleep, i just got up at 6 and drunk a ensure drink for breakfast. 0 -
Sorry E about the insomnia and missing out on the walk. Sometimes I don't feel like walking or running. Then I bargain with myself for that nap. HAHA
Feel better girl. I want to stay in bed too. I got my darned period this morning and feel miserable. Slammed my toe in the door jam. Must be something in the air, I didn't sleep last night either. Wow it is going to be a long day. Good news, I weighed myself and I am #3 down from when I was in the doctors office beginning of this week. But I have such a long way to go!
My friends girlfriend is in town so now she said I have to join the festivities "girl power" Yeesh.
At least I won't be the only female at the gig now. Wish me luck on surviving this day!
Happy St Patty's Day.
Big hugz all around
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