Single life after a mastectomy
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I have been reading this thread - but work, kids etc busy. It is good to know we are not alone!
Sandpiper - I would give it one more shot and then if again, that would be it. Living life is taking risks.
Question for all - I go on to an online dating site. As a stage 4, doing well, or any stage - what is a long term relationship for us? For me it might be 6 mths or 6 years - who knows. Just a weird play on words I thought of yesterday.
Have a good weekend all
Nel
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Piper- I like all the things you are doing from spring cleaning (need to more of that myself) to St. Paddy's parades/parties, the play, and more. You go girl!
It sounds like you had a good reconnection with the old beau. I hope your time getting to know each other again goes well. You will find the right time and place to tell him about all you have gone through. You deserve to be loved.
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Well, i went to the pharmacy this morning and after that i went to a store called Naturileze to buy my sister a pair of boots and cheer her up. She is a big shopper and she has been asking me to keep an eye out for a pair of boots for her. I found a great pair got it used a coupon 20% additional to the sale price. sent her picture and she was all exited and happy lol she is such a child, she is older than me but she loves to be spoiled. lol
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blue - i thought we are in the same age bracket...why aren't you on tamoxifen? just curious....
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enerva - that's so sweet of you....
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Hi ladies- I had low energy today so I opted out of the party tonight. I think I have come to realize those larger gatherings with lots of drinking are just not my thing anyways. I e-mailed my friend and said I was under the weather today, but will find time to meet up with he and his wife at a nearby spot we all like for an ongoing celebration. I know they love the place, and will be glad to have another outing to look forward too.
The friend I was going to meet tomorrow has a sick daughter so she cancelled out on our plans we had. Glad for that to as I realize after a really tiring week, I was over committed this weekend. So I have enjoyed a quiet day at home today, did a bit of house and yard stuff and just getting some rest. Like Enerva, just felt tired today.
Enerva- glad you found those boots for your sister. That is a great gift for her and something she can wear when she is feeling better.
Hoping everyone has had an okay day here! Hoping for better energy tomorrow for us all!
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BB- you are right too about True Detective. Very dark. That line in the last episode that sums it up "there is more territory in the dark than the light." I think that was one of the layers of this series.The dark side of human nature. Both around the murders and the detectives who worked to solve the murder and catch the killer.
I think HBO series do a good job in getting into the culture of some of those darker subjects. The Sopranos is my other HBO favorite series and still watch the reruns.
I hear you on the boob thing. Plenty of naked breasts to remind us of things too.
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BB- I am glad to hear you are thinking about how to take better care of yourself. For me, it really comes down to 3-4 things. The primary things include eating healthy, regular exercise, and ensuring I get enough sleep each night. The fourth area I have bit harder time with is stress management, especially with my work. Here is what I do:
1) With respect to food, due to some blood sugar issues I had last fall, I stopped eating sugar all together. Meaning no cookies, cakes, pies, candy, etc. There is often a little sugar in everything, but I just got it out my diet for the most part and feel a lot better as a result. I try to eat "whole foods" meaning lean proteins, fruits and vegetables, and some carbs in moderation. I allow myself a couple glasses of wine a week, mostly around social outings/special occasions. My MO's have told me alcohol case raise occurrence risk, so to limit myself to 2-3 drinks per week per their recommendations. Sometimes I don't even have that in an entire month. I try not to eat out a lot, but that has been a lifestyle choice for many years.
2) I take a good women's multi-vitamin, 1500 mg of CA, 5000 of Vitamin D (to keep the bones strong), and also a supplement that helps my joints called hyaluronic acid. That is a substance that helps to keep the moisture in your joints and skin, that goes away on the AIs. It was recommended by the health food store I go to, but cleared it with my MO to make sure there were no contradictions. It helps my joints and feet from hurting as badly as they might on the AIs.
3) With respect to exercise, that has always been part of my lifestyle and something I try to keep going regularly. I do walking, swimming, lift weights, have a yoga practice. This spring, I hope to get back on my bike (something I have not done since before bc) for some bike trail riding. I try to exercise 4-5 times a week and do something. Minimum of 30 min a day when I do.
If you have never tried yoga or meditation, you might find it helps you both physically and emotionally. Most gyms offer it and there are yoga studios everywhere these days.
4) Sleep- I have always been one who needs a good 8 or more hours of sleep. I try to get to bed early and ensure regular sleep. I do have sleep problems like most folks on bco, mostly due to the AIs I take. Sometimes I wake up middle of the night and cannot get back to sleep for awhile.
5) Stress management- I am a self employed consultant and work in systems healthcare. Lots of deadlines and difficult people. I try not to overwork, and ensure my time when I am not there is spent on taking care of me. I get regular massages and try to balance my time with all this and alone time to rebalance. Many of the things listed above help with stress management. I will say this is the harder part of my life to manage. The rest is in my control, most of what I deal with at work is less so.
This is what works for me, let me know if you have any questions?
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blues -
re: exercise, it's something new to me as well, naturally thin as well so never liked exercise. i do exercise everyday now. i've only started this routine for a week
and it's okay so far. i followed a youtube aerobic video, it's 26 min workout 5 min warm up and 5 min cool down. my integrative doc said even brisk walking is fine..but i need to do it 30 min a day and everyday. treat it like a meal that i don't skip. he used "dinner" as example...lol. re: diet. check out this link below. it tells you what food you can buy conventional and some not so. especially like grapes and peaches, if you can't find organic of the dirty dozen, may be just skip them..? the things about pesticides is they have synthetic hormones...even though we are taking hormone blockers but we want to make sure most of the bad hormones are blocked. i read you're juicing...i never ventured into it, no money for a juicer and it seems to add financial burden to my grocery bill. i am on disability so i watch every penny i spend now. i avoid using plastic in my life, even though i didn't use it that much pre cancer. and buy a water filter and drink the water from it. bottled water is municipal water without being filtered. unless it's imported...but i hate paying for water which is something so basic and i drink few glasses a day
i read from other websites, we should eat lean meat, like fish and chicken. my sis taught me i should buy ground chicken, this way i could really control the portion and sautee it and blend into my salad instead of a chunk that always seem not enough at the meal and too much afterwards. i really like meat, too much sometimes. and i don't really have a sweet tooth so no comment here.
i take vit B, C, D, calcium, green tea extract, fish oil and orac (it's being recommended to me by a nutritionist recently via a friend).
orac is more of berries extracts which has a high antioxidant effect.
and my integrative doc said 90% of BC patients have vit D deficiency, so def maintain you vit D level above 50. there's a correlation that vit D and tumor growth...there's a reason why we had low vit D i just can't remember why. ppl also said get the vit D in liquid form that easier for absorption.
pasteurized milk is acidic which could cause bone loss...either drink raw milk or almond milk or coconut milk.
i just think there must be some reasons we got BC, and it has to do with our live styles before i believe (just my humble opinions). and now we might just need to make a few adjustments to live a fulfilling live.
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Hi ladies, I have to say i always eat healthy but yes i used have at least twice a week red meat when i was in my twenties, then i stopped and only have red meat once in a wile, i always exercise use to to weights and then move toward spinning classes, then only did exercises twice a week always. I have to tell you what i miss the most is my hair, i never had short hair and i loved my long hair also my pets, my dogs past away in 2008 and i never got other dog but sure i miss the unconditional love they gave me. Now i am trying to do my own exercise every two days, but i am tired and the area were the stitches are bothers me still. I want to show you a pictures of me and my dogs in 2006. lol look at my hair. lol every day i look in the mirror and ask when will i be able to grab a pony tail? lol
It seams i have to PM cuz this page does not want to take pict lol
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I have taken a few natural pills which say are detox but not idea about the liver detox lol I ll stop now at whole foods i have nothing in my kitchen lol need fruits and veggies.
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i read pumpkin seeds can be used for detox...a handful three times a week? i just eat some whenever i remember
nobody actually know what cause BC...and there's this website canceractive.com mentioned 4 elementions.
1. diet (50%)
2. toxins
3. environment
4. state of mind (very debatable...and nobody wants to think this is the reason, bc it's something we can not quantify and/or control and too subjective)
not saying all of us had a mental block or didn't eat right...but some of us could be dealing with some hardship 7-10 years ago. or we haven't been eating the right thing...i don't know. i was never an advocate to eat right or excercise. but i ate my veggi, i was never a picky eater. i ate everything and anything they serve. and i didn't eat organic. i love milk which i think it could be the reason. i didn't eat that much meat when i cooked...only when i eat out. but i did have a very hard time from 07-10....i could not sleep for 3 months. i could only sleep once a week that's all the sleep i got during that 3 long months. my gut tells me it's from then.
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HI ladies- Lots of good sharing hear about food, exercise, supplements. I have been Vit D deficient for years and although I kept taking more and more through the years, most of the time I have always been considered low or low/normal. My PCP told me to take 5000 units per day which I have been doing along with the calcium for the bone. My PCP thinks low Vitamin D contributes to many health issues we face in our society. I know there are links between low Vit D and cancer as several have noted here.
For me, I believe that although I had risk factors like being overweight, never having children, etc., it was the stress of taking care of our mother and taking over everything for her that occurred 8 years before both my sister and I were diagnosed. In 2004, my mother who lived in CT, had a stroke and broke her hip. Both my sister and I had to take over her medical care and finances. We went on FMLA and had to spend a lot of time back east getting through the crisis and then figuring out what we were going to do. We were back and forth to the east coast for a year, then had to clean out and sell our childhood home and then move her out to CA so she could be closer to us. The time frame was 2004-2005. One of the worst periods of my life.
In 2012, after a six month decline, our mother passed away at age 86. Four months after that, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. Six months after my mother died, it was my turn. Coincidence? I think not.
I went to AZ to have a specialized internal rad treatment. One of the staff there who did the modeling for the treatments wanted to know my story. He said if you look to most women who have been diagnosed with bc, somewhere 7-10 years before, there was some life altering stressful event. I know what mine was. I don't think there is any one answer to why, but if stress can "flip the switch" so to speak, the stress we went through resulted in us both getting cancer 7-8 years later.
Anyways, moving forward, I think we do the best we can to take care of ourselves and do what we can to keep our bodies healthy so they have the ability to fight off the cancer cells.
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Well i went to Whole foods, i got my Quinoa, Coscus and a few other things $47 then stopped at the farmers markets got a few fruits all together $60 but considering i didnt buy food for few weeks its ok
i find that it makes sense i had a lot of stress my dogs life ended and it hurt me very deep, then mom came to live with me and i changed jobs and the mangers were horrible, it does makes sense that stress took part in my life during 5 years before i got the lump. ;( But i alwqys eat well and exercise since i was a teen. So i ll blame stress
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I went swimming this afternoon. Swimming helps me to "let go" of a lot in the water. I let the action of swimming wash away my worries and frustrations of the day. Another great stress reliever.
A good laugh with friends is always a plus. Love getting together with friends where I can talk about fun time in the past, and find those humorous moments.
Meditation is great. I am less disciplined about it these days but a great way to "empty the mind". Our minds are not our friends sometimes with the negative talk and fear based thinking.
BB- I am sorry you had such a tough time with your divorce. I had a serious relationship when I was young that ended, and did some of the same things you talked about. Girls gone wild. It is what we do sometimes when we are hurting. It sounds like you are able to take good care of yourself right now with having more space in your life.
Enerva- good job on the food purchases. I spent $100 today at Trader Joe's myself.
Oh and here is a big one, keep the drama kings and queens out of your life or at least see them in small doses.
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BB - i do aerobic first thing in the morning before taking a shower. i feel pretty good about sweating. it's tough to get into that routine but once you are in the exercise mode, you'll feel so much better. it's a natural depressant and detox.
jazz, enerva - thanks for sharing....sometimes i wish i could just go up to every BC sisters and ask "did you have a very stressful period 7-10 years ago??"
just came home from a dinner with friend....very relaxing and i had a good time. too much food though...still very stuffed.
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BB - sorry forgot to reply on what's integrative doctor. my MO recommended me to see him because i am taking supplements and she wanted to make sure the supplements are not in conflict with tamoxifen.
the int doc didn't really ask me what i ate but rather told me to eat plant based diet and exercise daily. he examed all my supplements and told me what should be taken off the list.
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No undo stress 7-10 yrs ago, IN fact & years ago I was my healthiest and happiest. Please......do not take this the wrong way....and take it for what it is worth........BC is not just one disease.....if it were it would be more manageable YES?!
It is a complicated disease process affecting many different ages, races, walks of life etc etc. I have read so much and yet researchers still search. As it is...I am angry that someone such as myself lost an entire breast and over a year of my life over something non invasive. All anger aside I am grateful my condition did not progress to something even more life altering. But ...who knows if it would have and when?
I am diverting the conversation for a moment. I had my abnormal mamo at 45-I still felt like I was 30. Some days I think in my mind I am young and other days my body tells me otherwise.
Today....I treated myself to a musical performance and yes BB, I came back to admire my fine work on cleaning my kitchen and moved on to my 1rst floor powder room.
All I have thought of today is the college boy...I realize I have known him since I was 18 yo. now you know why I feel like a young girl......
It makes me sad...yet happy that after all of these years and a failed attempt at a second go round he still makes my heart flutter!
And so I want to rationalize the pros and cons....
Here's the kicker......I log onto FB and find a high school friend has passed........I have cried myself silly and haven't seen him in more years than I can mention. But the beauty of social networks is we can keep in touch without really seeing people in person. HA!
I vaguely know he has survived cancer himself. Owns a very successful business and a major contributor to many worthwhile causes in this area. He is also openly gay and HOT! So is his partner.
A person who can overcome social stigmas and be a social contributor to many causes. I have known him since I was in 9th or 10th grade. HE was a good friend to me and counseled me through many rough times back in the day. So here is the deal.....we self blame because it seems to be what we CAN do. WE can only do our best and live and learn. DID NOT BB just write that???!!! So, BB, I totally agree.....we move on and forward.
I am all over the place and please do accept my apologies, but also know I hug each of you and whisper...live for today.........
OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
PIPER
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Ducky- how wonderful the party came off so well for the 80 year old FIL. I can tell it meant a lot to him and that is what matters. Not all those other bone heads. Your daughter complimented you so nicely too!
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Interesting topic about cancer causes. I feel there are many things that could cause or trigger one's cancer. We all have cancer, everyone. But usually our immune system kills the cancer. So I do think that genetics and environment can CAUSE cancer and diet, stress other factors can TRIGGER cancer. Or make us more susceptible to the immune system not working properly.
I find it too coincidental that I went through a very stressful couple of years with my daughter before diagnosis. That's not to say that the cancer wasn't there for 10 years already, but something made it become active. I say for me it was stress. I have always exercised and eaten my veges... avoided environmental hazards and in general lived a happy life. Genetics don't seem to play a role for me, although I have just gone for further testing as we have a lot of hormonal cancer in my family.
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BB - that red juice sounds yummy...i would love to make some smoothies when the weather warms up a little.
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BB - there're certain supplements can promote tumor growth from what i've read. vit E, antioxidant NAC (per the document the ladies posted) and reservatrol. they are good if taken in food form but not in supplement form. in the alt thread we were talking about it.
how are you doing?
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Is Vitamin E oil or creme a problem or taking the suppliments the issue?
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i totally agree what you said. i also try to use up what i had/have and buy natural products. if you really look and check what you have (not you personally) you'll find most of the stuff are bad. i was going frantic when i was reading the list on ewg.org...lol
one thing i do now is to wipe my lip stick off when i eat...instead of buying new lip gloss/balm/stick....
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jazz - the one i read was supplement. i have a bottle of vit E oil, i used it on my shingles scar and on my MX scar. i also use it on my feet and the oil really soften up the skin. great stuff. but i no longer use it often.
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BB - agreed. it's just too much info floating out there and we just can't be sure what is what. my MX scar did soften up a lot after i used the E oil for two weeks. i don't know why it's not good and i didn't bother to check. i just don't use it that often.
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BB - not going to judge you about smoking...i know it's difficult to quit.
what does it mean "breaks up the scar tissue"??
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BB - FDA does NOT have our best interests at heart. the bovine growth hormone was banned in EU but they are still legal in the US. EU, russia, and china label GMO on their foods but not in the US.
watch Food Inc, Farmageddon (available for streaming on Netflix). i highly recommend Farmageddon.
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Went for a 30 minute run today. Walking is really my choice of exercise, but I keep trying my hand at the running gig on occasion too.
My diet was fairly clean before I had surgery. I make adjustments and Junie I am the one that does some juicing. Purely because I have had some stomach issues since surgery. I think I am lactose intolerant. One of my docs said it can happen as we get older. Except for a little half and half in my morning coffee, I have eliminated milk products this last month due to several time I had severe bloating and discomfort after having a Latte and some other milk products.
I eat lots of veggie and do occasional meat, but often times I eat more of a plant based diet
Since I never share any bad stuff about my sons father (I don't even speak to him) thought I would let you guys in on a little issue I had tonight with my taxes.
Finished and filed the federal taxes and was feeling good about going to sleep tonight when I get an email and a text saying it was rejected.
The reason...............someone else claimed my son as a dependent.
I am steamed. But par for the course, Why on Earth would he call and ask me???? Like all the other times he should have called me about things and never did. After everything I have done to get my son home and working. All the time and money spent. So the asshole of the day award goes to Piper's baby daddy!
Now I have to go back and redo my taxes and refile.
Nice job!
OK Rant over.
E-how is your sis doing with her chemo?
BB-Anything on the job or insurance front?I used Chantix to quit smoking. It helped so much that to this day cigarette smoke can make me nauseated!
Alrighty ladies...big old hugs.
I really need a little sleep. Back to the grind tomorrow
Piper
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