Single life after a mastectomy
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Gee Tessa, I am sorry you are not happy with your results.
Let us know how your healing progresses.
It is difficult wearing so many hats and trying to keep the dishes spinning in the air.
Lately, I feel the need to walk away from my life. But would that really help?!?!
Anyhow..................sending lot's of hugs and luving thoughts to all the beautious singles ladies
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Tessa - Welcome back, sweetie. Did you talk with your surgeon? I know you don't want to even think about another procedure right now - especially after you just finished the exchange. Sometimes it seems as if the surgeries will never end. Sometimes it seems that, with every step forward, we're pushed back again. But, there should be a way to give you the look you want. Sending you a big {{ hug }}.
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tom i have appointment with my plastic surgeon what question i need to ask her any suggestion this s d first appointment after mt DIEP
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Stopping in to wish everyone a nice weekend and will catch up soon.
Thinking of you all.
Milky, the only things I was concerned about after surgery was how much and what kind of activity I could do and when I could go back to work. And what restrictions on working.
I could have gone back at 6 weeks, maybe, but recovering from an extra week in the hospital for cellulitis, the long surgery (my very first ever) and the anesthesia is not to be taken lightly. I ended up going back at 8 weeks post op and from there it was a work in progress.
I had my nipple done 4 months after my initial surgery and tats done a few months after that. It all takes time. And time is what we need to give ourselves.
Anywho........................saw 'American Hustle' tonight-pretty good. Cranky lady with a man in front of me tonight. She bitched and I kept thinking with is he doing with her. Left the theater and here they come.....she at the top of her lungs..."that is 2 hours of my life I cannot get back"
They were an older couple....and I thought 'what else were you doing tonight?'
I shot her a dirty look-she was just plain miserable and obnoxious. I really wanted to say...."How many years of his life has he wasted with you?"
LOL
Anyhow......I had stopped for a beer prior to the show at a little micro brew pub. YUMHave to work all weekend and hoping to hit up the Pirate home opener on Monday. My best male BFF is going.......and will probably meet up with him and his buddy at some point! Supposed to be warmer. YEAH!!!!!
Alrighty ladies...
have a wonderful weekend and hugzzzz all around
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Hi Piper- I ready your message on the Hermits thread and also here. Aren't you amazed by people sometimes? Two hours of your life you won't get back? Like a movie you did not like is the worst thing that could happen? Chances are she did not want to be there in the first place, so she just made sure everyone around her knew that. Sort of why I don't go out as much as I used to, being around people feels like too much work sometimes. I would not expect to deal with that at the movies though.
Anyways, it sounds like you had a nice beer and enjoyed the movie. Bravo to you for getting out for some fun!
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Hi, i ll push myself again tomw for the walk, i found it very good. if weather not so bad ,yes Venezuela is on deed bad political situation bit USA is looking so if you have a minute look at this video
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y4xcimkAFNc&feature=youtu.be
i love this guy, cant thank h enough
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plastic surgeon felt little hard think on my abdomin she said its suture she want to remove that again big cut they should py zip in me so thy can easily open n close life s difficult
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Hi Ladies, i havent been in the site for a week and well just worry about all that is happening down in Vzla, i havent decide on the trip there since its just horrible there so for now i need to wait and see if it gets better. I saw the Onco this week she never ask for a blood test or scan so i guess nothing to check till next 6 months. I went again this morning to walk with the nordic walkers, my entire body hurst.
Milkyway2 i hope they fix the scar tissue soon for you.
I am waiting to hear about the PS, also waiting on the date i need to report to work. How is everybody else?
Maybe you all found love and are out on dates? hummm good luck hope you all a great weekend.
I Congressman presented Vzla case and it was great here is a link if you feel like watching what is really going on.
http://www.laht.com/article.asp?ArticleId=1852227&CategoryId=10717
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Enerva- glad to hear the MO did not feel a need to do bloodwork. Mine checks liver enzymes once a year (I see him 4/11 so I might have some then). Prayers for your sister and Venezuela.
Busy and tiring day doing yard work and running errands. I am leaving for another (fun) trip in four more days and getting ready for that.
Ha, out on dates, what is that like? I am going to Texas on Thursday and know an old boyfriend there would love to see me. We used to have wild times together 30 years ago and suspect he may be looking for the same again. He used to be SO handsome, and now looks like Colonial Sanders, the guy on the Kentucky Fried Chicken adds. I am not telling him I will be in town next week. He was here in NM a few years back and made a point to tell me, but that he did not have time to see me. I suspect he is married, although he does not talk about it. He sort of reminded me he only is interested when it serves his needs, who needs that?
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BB, we should go together. I am so up for a road trip of any kind. I have seen their newest venture for their concert this year and I am very interested in going. I want to also thank you for saying such nice things about my Recon. I have been granted entrance into the site for women to share their pics, but have yet to gather my material and figure out how to post it. I think I just haven't spent enough time on the site to know how to use it very well. But it isn't user friendly for my poor brain.
I never realized how fortunate I was with my surgery until sharing with you BB. My sissy and Bff said it was like the 'Phoenix Rising' however, they are supposed to say those things. In reality I know they meant their awe in my recon too. I have no problems sharing with established members here.
I feel so awful when women are in pain or disappointed.
Just to feel sexy, I wore a lower cut shirt today and a few men paid attention. But mostly I do not look as young as I once had and that I have to accept.
I went to the opening baseball game today. The weather was amazing and I even got a little sunburn. Ironically, there was snow covering the ground when I left for work yesterday at 6am. My part of the country is having several seasons in a 24 hour period. LOL.
Luv you ladies and sending out lot's of warm and healing thoughts and hugs to all.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Hi ladies- I will be off line for the next week, taking a trip to DFW in a few days to visit some old friends where I went to grad school.
You east coast gals should hook up and go do some music together! I am going this summer with a friend from here to the Aspen Jazz Festival. Road trip for sure.
I hope everyone has a good week and hope those not feeling well feel better soon.
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Jazz have a great trip!!!
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i can feel very hard suture its a size of ring i hope surgeon ring s not missing now i m having pain if i bend to pick anything.tom i have appointment with my family dr want to show her that lets see wot she says may b i will req for xray or ultrasound .if surgeon made anymistake i have to handle that .again ready for a knife pains sutures i am still wearing elastic comfortable pants the whole abdomen is sensitive.wot to say
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JAzzy... or we can meet you in Aspen... LOVE Aspen. Enjoy it.
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Hi ladies, i see everybody is so busy, well here is a picture which i think is so romantic yet sad, from home, my heroes the students fighting and even then they show their love.
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lol When is that concert? i wish i was close lol Yes there are some great pictures i am also saving them lol
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I love beer! I am in! We have to splurge for seats, the lawn is for the young drunks! Life? will you chaperone?
E-Ty for the photo and link for the video! How are you? How is Sissy? How is your walking going?
Hugs milky-not sure what is going on but wishing you better days ahead
Aspen sounds wonderful too
I am feeling very restless. I have no desire to go to work anymore. I am thankful I have a job, but for some reason I am growing tired of it.
In the meantime-no quitting as I just committed to new flooring for the entire downstairs, 3 landings and carpet for the stairs. I am excited. It is going to look so nice. Won't happen til May. I'll get pics here when it is done
Hugs and warm thoughts all around ladies
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Sand, its so nice to hear from you i am ok Sis is getting upset about the lost of her hair well i knew that, but nothing we can do about it, she is ok so far getting her Chemo #2 this Friday
not info yet regarding the ultrasound to check if its working. Will keep u posted. I went for the walk alone today. I figure now i got the poles and i know more or less the technic so i will go alone, i cant pay that group $7 every Saturday lol i am broke so i can do it alone. I am ok with walking alone. I exchanged # with one lady from that group and maybe she ll join me once in a wile, i am a bit worry cuz i have a lot of joint pain now, its getting in my nerves lol Take care i ll look for this concert i ll google them. 0 -
Hi fellow singlets- having a good time in Texas. Seeing old friends, visiting places that were once a big part of my life (ahh, those were the days), and doing some shopping. We went to a jazz club last night and ended up sitting next to Dallas Cowboys legend, Rayfield Wright. We had a great time talking to him, I got some fun pictures too of me wearing both his Superbowl and Hall of Fame Rings. He was just a lovely man.
I have another day and a half here that includes more shopping time, a party tonight and then head back home tomorrow. Packing a lot in out here!
I hope everyone is doing okay here and that you have a good weekend. I keep you all in my heart all the time where ever I am.
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Jazz, you go girl!! enjoy for us too..
Bb, i totally get what you are saying even pole walking gave me a hard time, i will keep it up but boy a year made such a huge difference in my body too.
We must try to get back our muscles
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XOXOXOXO
Piper
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I thought you would enjoy that BB
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Hi ladies- back from my travels. Hope everyone is doing okay here.
The photo below is of a spot north of Dallas, called Frisco, where I was supposed to go visit a friend on Thursday evening. I never could connect with him to confirm my visit this past weekend, and bad storms rolled through that area upon my arrival last Thursday. Sort of some divine intervention that maybe it was not meant to be for me to go up there last week as planned? Baseball sized hail and four tornadoes hit that area last Thursday evening. I am lucky.
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hugs ladies.
I worked extra this week then got a nasty cold and upper respiratory virus. Very tired. And sick of being sick and tired.
I got up at 5am today and made a salmon chowder. Not sure why that is what I wanted. But I needed something nourishing and warm.
BB, Sure, LOL, you can live vicariously through me. I am not sure how exciting that will be,
Things are moving slower than molasses. Kind of glad for that as I really need to do some extra time at work to get some new appliances and I am having new flooring installed end of May.
At first I felt confused and hurt by the time between calls and texts from college man. I have been good and only sent one text without him contacting me first. I have calmed down a little and really need some time before I make a trip there/or he makes a trip here.
Yesterday he kind of started a little "sexting". Makes me uncomfortable to do that especially since it has been about 4 years since I last saw him. Don't know why and I am far from a prude, but I guess I just want to feel like there might be more than sex to this. Maybe there isn't and that is all he wants. I am so totally confused by men.
In the meantime the hot young jerk (the one I was seeing before the holidays) had the audacity to send me a text late one night last week. I have him on FB, but don't look at his page. (was waiting for him to delete or block me haha) Anyhow, I thought..."wow! that didn't take long for his new GF to dump his azz)
I never answered him-so over his BS, but looked on his FB page and there are a bunch of recent pics of him and her and their kids together.......days after he sent me the booty text.
Gosh.........cannot trust anyone anymore...
And people wonder why I have major trust issues!!!
Ok done venting. I have to lay down. My head is ready to burst. Waiting for the cold meds to kick in so I can get my day started for real.
*cough* *hack* *cough*
I hope everyone is well,
And BB......I know you don't feel so great these days. I was always like that on Tamoxifen and some days still feel that way. I really have to push myself ......and many days I just don't. But I did go to the home opener without any solid plans and went to a musical with my sissy and her family. Trust me. I would rather stay home and lay in bed.....it is very hard to turn this mind set around.
xoxoxoxoxoxo lovely ladies
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It will get easier BB and you will be so glad to have rid yourself of that habit. I am so proud of you for taking this huge step! You really are going to feel free and physically so much better. Go for walks when you can to break up your usual routine. It's those moments. morning coffee, driving in the car, after dinner....etc that really can get to you. I have heard people say they have vivid dreams while taking Chantix-usually not as pleasant as yours though
I am sorry you are lonely for your old BF. I occasionally think of someone else, but remember there was a reason it didn't work out. I really have to focus on those negatives in the relationship to get past the sorrow. Time really does heal........or at least take the constant sting away.
If this guy and I went any slower we would be doing the backstroke. I think he is waiting for me to give the green light and I am just not quite there yet.....but soon because I could drag this on for much longer than necessary. Anywho..........I feel like crap. Gonna take some motrin for my poor aching head. I cannot spend another day in bed. bleh!
hugs
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Hi single ladies- been busy since I returned from my travels to TX. Went to see my MO today for a check in on how I am doing with anastrozole and also discussed some recent genetics tests. I was in and out of there quick and on to my day. I will have a bone density and blood work this fall and see him again.
BB- I am sorry you are struggling. You should check in with your doctors about the meds taking their toll on you. My docs have all said they start you on something and then will switch it to something else if the SEs are too much. Many women either suffer, or stop taking them all together, which they don't want. You need to have your quality of life back so you can find some new work and be able to take care of yourself. See if your doctors can switch you to something else?
And big step to quit smoking. It is a hard thing to do, but will help to improve your overall health. I am proud of you for making this big step. Keep moving forward.
Piper- sorry to hear about your cold/infection and hope you are taking care of yourself. I think you are wise to take it slow with the old BF. I don't like the "sex-ting" stuff either. You can decide if and when you are ready to see him. I am always super leery of men who come back into my life as they often do want sex, but not always. If you continue to get that vibe from him, then you will know the way it is with him. You deserve only the best, my dear.
What is funny about people who say we have trust issues is that if you don't do anything, you are being too picky. If you do something and it does not work out, you get blamed for that. People are not always what they seem, and we have all been through too much not to be anything but discriminating. You keep taking care of yourself and ignore what people say. In most cases, those people can't be alone and have a hard time with anyone that is.
Enerva- how are you doing? How is your sister doing with treatment? How are things in Venezuela (I am hearing less about it on the news, everything is about that missing plane search that goes on and on and on.....)
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I, too am single and very happy with it at this time.... boyfriend I was with helped me tremendously through my surgeries, but he was also self-centered and shallow (said he couldn't stand to look at my incisions)... so I cut it off with him.. feeling so much better about myself. This whole BC thing has changed my thinking and I will never "settle" for anything less than what makes me happy and comfortable. I realize now I have spent too much of my life with men that were not right for me, and although I did all I could to make them happy, they never reciprocated - and I will never make that mistake again... At present, I do have a man-friend who is helping me move into an apartment, as I am helping him as well. We have talked at length about the fact that I am not ready for a relationship, and he is agreeable to that.. He is very helpful around the house and got me a nice bicycle and gets me out riding trails and getting me exercising to get back into shape. Just taking it a day at a time just being friends.... Ladies - NEVER SETTLE for less - as you all deserve so much better!!!
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Gotta be free-welcome to this thread of single ladies! I am glad the first man helped you through, but better for you both to move on if he cannot deal with scars. We all get them from something sooner or later.
The new man in your life sounds like a very nice friend and gets where you are at and what your needs are. Your post is very encouraging to the women here who are going through their ups and downs on the relationship front.
We all need to spend time with people who genuinely care about us. That is one of the great lessons I have taken away from this journey.
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Jazzy your prior post was on point. I always say if we do not take the chance to get to know someone we will never know if it is meant to be. That said...those evil twins pop out (LOL BB) and we have to remember it just happens. It hurts tremendously but happens. One can never know where a person or relationship might lead. What's that old saying?? "you have to kiss a lot of toads to find your prince" ? something like that
Welcome gotta
BB-hope I answer everything you asked. On the man front- Yes-I do often reflect on "The One". I felt like you...in that I had found the one I loved more than anyone else EVER! I would have married him.......a very layered story but it wasn't meant to be for so many reasons. I loved what he and I had for the time we had it. I do wonder if I will find that again. And if or until I do or you do....we will remember the nice qualities but keep the perspective that there were reasons and very good ones for why neither of our relationships worked out. It seems as if we aren't moving on, however, we just want to "FEEL" that again. So we reflect on that awesome feeling we once had......
Jazzy brings up a good point of trying to work with your MO on a different med. At the request and advice of multiple MDs, I fell for the "You really should consider and try Tamoxifen." I was considered young for the Dx and my mother had BC, although her BC was early stage and post meno. (huge difference between the 2 of us) At the time I was overwhelmed by my whole experience. I actually bounced back from surgery and felt healthy and self confident. Come October I took that Tami and my body, mind and world came crashing down. I tried harder than most to keep taking it. I was told by one MD that I should go for psychological counseling as this surgery and Dx at my age was probably too much for me to handle on my own. I got a second opinion. Understood the risks much better and immediately stopped Tami. At my age, not menopausal, and not extremely high risk for recurrence (1-2%) or a new primary (12-13%), I felt comfortable not taking the med. I cannot say my life has improved much, maybe a little., The depression from the medication and bad habits that were formed while on it are still being undone. I was offered another SERM if I chose, but the new MO agreed it was over treatment in my case.
I cannot undo the past....however much I wish I could.
I am afraid to take any med anymore because I have had such strange SEs and reactions to so many things during this process. My list of do not use and do not take grew immensely after surgery. I believe I have a problem metabolizing some meds and my skin has become so sensitive I cannot even use hair products, certain soaps, hand sanitizers or lotions. I was even allergic to the surgical scrub they used during my SNB. There is something at work I am beginning to react to as well.
My next stop is to see a derm because this is getting out of hand with using stuff on my skin.
Anyhow. My head is feeling a little more clear. Had to deal with banking issues today which took up a lot of time.
College man sent me a sweet text hoping I was feeling better and to have a nice day. I asked if he had his daughter this weekend. Told him I was working but hoped we could catch up very soon.
He did respond that he has his DD and "soon would be wonderful".
So now I try to focus on him and how we can move forward and what forward means for each of us. Time will tell.
Hugs ladies
xoxoxoxo
Piper
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