Single life after a mastectomy
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Hi ladies- I am having a crazy hard week at work. Something that got dumped on me last week I am trying to finish this week and by tomorrow as I am going out of town for the weekend to the hot springs with a friend (ahhh).
Piper- that sucks about your ex claiming your son on his taxes without even talking to you. Very sneaky of him to do just do it and file first so you found out that way. And now you have to redo taxes. Just remember, it will come back around, as karma is a bitch!
I had a friend from work 10 years ago who was diagnosed with bc and did her whole treatment holistically. She did a combo of surgery to remove the tumor, and a lot of juicing and supplements. No chemo, no rads, no endocrine therapy. Then she became a distributor for them and was going around about six months after her treatment pushing this treatment on others for health. I remember being so surprised by it, knowing even then, you gotta get past the initial five years. She told me in confidence a year or two later she got a local reoccurrence, but said nothing to people while she was promoting the natural therapies as healing her. She really believed in all this despite the fact nothing supported that she was getting better. Then it came back in her bones, liver and eventually her brain and took her about three years ago.
I have always been a big supporter of natural treatments to help that which you can. Avoiding meds and surgery is always my choice, but with cancer, the history of people surviving it doing holistic/non western medicine and doing well is just not there. Cancer is a tricky beast and some do all the difficult western med treatments and still don't survive, but think they give you the best shot of survival. I think our doctors are okay with us doing supplemental therapies to help our wellness. We just have to learn to avoid the things that can be problematic.
Hoping my friends here are having an okay week!
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jazz,
I am sorry about your friend.
Did your friend consult a naturopath doctor to go thru the supplements? And have some check ups on her blood work and urine test? I think it's very irresponsible to sell/take supplement as some kind of medicine without professional help.
I am reading some peoples treatment plan from natural way but I know it's not a one size fits all approach.
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Hi ladies- catching up your posts. I saw a photo of Enerva too and she is lovely. Her new hair is coming in nicely. I know she is having a tough time with worrying about her sister and everything else going on in her world and country of origin. I hope she is doing okay and back here soon?
June- I am not totally sure if the person she saw was a doc or some other sort of homeopathic clinician. I had just met her when she was diagnosed and she was looking at all the options. About six months after she went through treatment, she started to invite her friends and co-workers for these presentations at her home. It was a $400 package of supplements and such. The approach was extreme, like 10 days without food and just the juicing and supplements. Most of the people I knew that did end up doing her program did not have cancer to my knowledge, it was more around just trying to get healthy. She was not medically trained ever, just a distributor. It bothered me that she was still pushing it even after the cancer came back. I left the company not long after that but saw her a few times through the year until it finally took her. I just learned a lot watching it all. May she rest in peace.
BB- I might stop at Trader Joes again soon, and will check out. My skin has taken a hit being on the AIs.
Going up north to the hot springs Friday. Can't wait!
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Have a nice time at the hot springs. Sounds lovely.
Maybe, if I remember, I will stop at Traders on Sat morning. There is one close to where I work. (I hate to make unnecessary trips) but that face cream sounds lovely
I stopped smoking over 2 years ago. I had stopped for 4 years, started again then stopped again. I did not smoke at all during my pregnancy or while breastfeeding either. Guess it is a weird vice that I kept going back and forth with. I only ever dated 2 smokers and one did not even know I smoked. I was the closet smoker of the year. The only thing I would recommend when coming off of the Chantix is weaning down like you wean up on it. I noticed some strange SEs when I came off. Kind of like coming off an SSRI. I had no problems with the medication while on it, other than I did try to smoke just to see what it would be like. It was a very weird taste in the mouth and a little nausea. I had a complete distaste for smoking after that and still to this day. Everyone once in a while I get a physical craving or want one when A little stress comes my way. Otherwise, I think I am cured!
Since I am now running (more like a quick walk/slow jog) I have more of an incentive to stay away from smoking. Problem is the few friends that still smoke. I can hardly ride in their cars. I isolated myself from them for a long time so I would stay my course . My one friend, though she still smokes, does not smoke like a "chimney" any longer and makes sure I am sticking with it.I sent my BFF a text on my availability to visit her this weekend and she has not responded. I don't even want to hear the excuse (unless of course something happened to her phone) I did phone her home and the answering machine picked up-I didn't leave a message as we had kind of already discussed the possibility of my visiting soon. Gosh, Kind of feeling rejected. There are a whole host of other things too but I'll leave it at that.
College boy has texted a few times. I am playing it a little cool (not texting him first or too much). I want to take the potential reunion slow if that makes sense. But he does bring the long lost smile to my face.
A coworker posted to my FB the pic of the girl wearing the shirt that says "Heck yes they're fake, my real ones tried to kill me", tagged me and wrote "this has you written all over it' Another girl wrote "It is still ALL Piper"
I hid it from my timeline. It was out of character for the coworker to do this and I have kept my FB clean of my trip down the B'BC" lane There are a lot of people who do not and do not need to know. Including college boy-He probably saw it too
Oh well
Have a nice weekend everyone. Working the next 2 nights so will be a little MIA
xoxoxoxo
Piper
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Hi All,
Just been out straight with work, kids, life. I try to keep up here, but sometimes it is difficult and this week low energy, some sort of funk! I am pretty sure stress contributed alot to my dx. A number of fairly big stressors in the 5 years or so before DX. I try and eat healthy, most days I do Ok and exercise, zumba a couple of times a week, but I know I am not doing everything I could, keep trying to improve it all a bit at a time and take time for myself!
I have 2 friends from online - both know that I have had cancer, but neither know I am stage 4. When they ask, I say right now the docs tell me I am clean and boring and I am good with that. And that is the truth. Actively avoiding the truth with both of them. One will never be a LTR , the other maybe. My issue is with stage 4, what is long term, everything could change for me in a day and I don't feel I even have the right to expect anyone to sign on long term given my health situation. So I am well today and trying to enjoy and live my life. My old therapist would have a field day with the way I a am approaching things and I can hear his voice telling me I deserve more! The cancer thing, the MX thing - it all complicates everything, that and I am 60 with teenagers living at home. What a bargain I am!!!
Not meaning to whine,I just have to laugh most days at my circumstances and enjoy what has come my way for what it is.
Nel
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where can i buy silicon sheets Bosumblues
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Nel- I don't think we need to tell people everything. I have kept my bc from many, for professional reasons mostly, but there is also a burden that comes with sharing too much. Many women live with Stage 4 and do fine. Other times it may be better to let folks know. We are all complicated folks with lots of history, so don't be too hard on yourself. I don't know anyone middle aged who does come with a few complications in their life!
Remember how I told you about the friend who was not that nice to me after diagnosis and during treatment? I realized she just cannot deal with the whole Big C thing? Got a birthday card from her today with a short typed note. She shared some updates about her aging mother in law, some home improvement projects, and info about recent trips.
I had not heard from her since before Xmas, and sort of thought the whole friendship was over. But I had an ephiphany today. I think I just really need to be around people who can be present with me, all things known, and that don't expect me to talk about superfacial stuff. It is less about who she is, and more about what I want in my life these days.
She is from my home state of CT, and says she hopes to see me this year. I am going back for a family reunion this summer, but don't plan to let her know or see her. At the most I will send a birthday card or Xmas card and just say all is well. Sometimes that is all we need to let others know, without getting pulled into what they think we need to be for them.
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BB - i am happy for you....
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Hello, all. Just checking in. I've been away from the forum for more than a week, so, of course, I fell behind in the conversation. I just finished reading all of your posts up to this point, and I'm happy to see the last post is a piece of great news! (Congratulations, BB!)
Piper - Glad to hear you've reconnected with an old boyfriend. :-)
Who was asking about pain? Milkyway? One of my abdominal surgeries involved slicing me open. I had stomach pain for a year caused by scar tissue from the surgery. I found that eating small meals helped to control the pain. Eventually, another surgeon during another surgery cut that scar tissue away, and the pain stopped. I don't know if this information helps you or not. If you want more info, feel free to PM me. Anyway, two weeks ago, I had severe abdominal pain and thought, "Oh, no, it's back." But, now I think that was a virus.
Enjoy your day, everyone! Here, in this neck of the woods, tomorrow is expected to hit 60 degrees. Springtime is just around the corner. :-)
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It appears that Enerva has been missing since March 17. I hope she's just busy or maybe met someone new.
Enerva - Hope all is well!
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hello...anyone here??
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I just worked 3........ 12 hour shift sin a row.
I need to go to bed.
Just wanted to pop in and say good morning, have a good weekend and talk soon
That's as much sex as I can talk about after being awake for over 16 hours
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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Hi, I am sorry i was not on line for almost a week now i have been absorbed with the situation in Vzla ;( the country is worse every day there are now 31 death anyway, my sister is doing really good at least in the outside when she speaks to me she is very positive and i guess she just try not to be negative you all know how it is at the beginning
so i am ok i also have kept my feelings from her, i have not cry or shown her how worry i am inside. I have good news for you all i kicked my a s s this morning I went and joined the Nordic Walk group from 9;30 to 11;30 it was so good i ended up buying the poles so i can go and walk on my own during the week. BB, i am sorry i didnt come on line this week. I am still depressed but at least today i got up and went for a nice cold walk -1 but still did ok My Venezuela is in big trouble see picture..png?1395518584)
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sandpiper - hope you have a good rest.
enerva - how many more sessions your sis needs to go thru? and am glad you went for the walk. i also took a walk (not really, i went to pick up my milk) and it's so beautiful out there. wish i had a buddy here so we could hang out....
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June, i wish i was in NY so we could walk and hang out
I will go for walks on my own now that the weather is improving. I will see the Onco this week.My sister is supposed to have 4 Chemos
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that'd be nice...
4...every 3 weeks? sending you and your sis (((hugs)))
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Sorry about the situation in Venezuela, Enerva. :-(
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BB - that'd be fun....wish i had a car so i could visit. i know my ex would let me drive his car but i am not comfortable driving a big car.
to me, the raw milk (goat milk) is safe, i haven't got sick from it. i always smell it before i drink the first glass, just to make sure. i also love milk...tried the almond milk but still prefer raw milk. i wouldn't drink the pasteurized milk, it is acidic and would take the calcium in your body to neutralize it. it's so insanely expensive to eat healthy these days. my friend was just telling me her grocery bill come up to 50-60 bucks a week, she's single. and that's not organic, just regular groceries.
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Hi ladies- just checking in upon my return from the girlfriend weekend get away to the hot springs. Just so what I needed! Lots of good soaking, girlfriend chit chat, laughter, a yoga class, some good healthy food, great treatments, shopping, and more. It was nice to spend an entire weekend with my friend, who has been a supporter of my always, but we have not had a weekend together like this in years. She had a blast too.
Came home to unpack, do laundry, get a bit of laundry going, took a rest, watered, etc. I have to go to work tomorrow so I am behind the eight ball but will read more here this week and catch up with all of you.
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So today I went to a wake for my friend's husband Dan. We were all out just last week, and now he's gone. It was so sad on many levels watching the slide show of how happy he and his wife were. I was sad for her loss and sad for my loss. My loss of THAT relationship. To boot, my son went back to college today, and I may not see him til May. So feeling a little blue.
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Oh and mediation #4 is tomorrow. Wish me luck and some resolution.
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Good luck tomorrow, Bdavis.
And I'm very sorry about your friend's husband. My deepest condolences to your friend. Life is so precious - we just can never know. :-(
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BB - I hope everything works out for you in finding healthcare coverage. Did you ever have a breast MRI? If everything was clear, then most likely these two lumps that have appeared suddenly are something benign. But, it's good that you're having them checked out.
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Hugs ladies and lot's of warm and positive thoughts..............
Here is a funny......mostly because my BFF always said I was so clueless when a guy was hitting on me...
oh to b young again
or .......older and wiser eh?!?!
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BB - didn't you have the lumps a while back and they got checked out okay? sorry i can't recall the details...hope you get the insurance coverage without any problem.
piper - love it...
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BB- I have some lumpy areas on the left side and always expect them to tell me it is cancer. It turns out I have a lot of scar tissue and also fat necrosis, which all feel like something worse than it is.
You still have this week to get signed up for ACA. Leverage that medicaid program too.
I understand your feelings about wanting to start over. My life was very complicated once and I did that very thing. It is harder to do those things now.
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BB- wow, how come the insurance is that much? I got a pretty robust plan with BSBC and am paying $500 a month. That is a lot still, but I am a consultant and it is a business expense for me so it comes off my taxes. That seems really high, but perhaps that is what is going on in your neck of the woods. I would have a hard time covering that much too.
Perhaps some retraining for re-employment will help you. Are you collecting unemployment? Sometimes workforce centers will know of retraining programs specially targeted for women trying to get back to work. I know of some here in NM that existed at one point, not sure if they do anymore given the world has changed a lot the past few years.
Tomorrow I turn 54. Grateful to make it to another year.
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BB - Where I was treated, there was a department for "Charity Care" which covers treatment for people who are "uninsured or underinsured." I didn't need it because I was insured. I don't know if this is the same program you looked into. But, here's a link to a website with more information:
http://www.state.nj.us/health/charitycare/
Jazzy - Happy birthday! :-)
Editing to add: In the old days, I used to lament, "Oh, no, another birthday - another year older." Nowadays, I think, "Hey, I made it to another birthday! I'm another year older!" :-)
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BB- Life has a good suggestion. I work in systems healthcare and am familiar with charity care working through the billing office. Not sure how that is going to work now with the new ACA which is trying to make sure everyone has insurance. I agree with Life, you need to look into that.
Life- thank you for the birthday wishes. In 2012, I had a ruptured appendix and also was diagnosed with bc, all around the same time. Two things that could have easily taken my life (one acute, the other that required attention shortly thereafter). I appreciate everything and take nothing for granted ever since!
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Haven't been here in awhile due to going back to work and being a single mom on top of complete exhaustion and fatigue. I just had my exchange on Monday and came home Tuesday afternoon.
I HATE THEM.
They sit really low and don't have the higher / upper fullness that was talked about originally. With the expanders at least I had fullness. Now there's like the flatlands between my neck and where the new breasts are. I have man boobs.
Not to mention you could drive a truck in between them and I can't squish them upwards. I cried all last night. I've gone through hell with this whole cancer crap. I was at least hoping for decent boobs out of it. Now my stomach protrudes out farther than these fake boobs due to the stinkin weight gain from the femara and zoladex and they hang way too low. I cannot tell you how disappointed I am ! SUCKS!
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