Single life after a mastectomy
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bb, are you taking iron? supplements?
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BB- I am glad you are making progress with your re-con. I wish someone would tell me I needed to loose weight, but I hear what you are saying. It sounds like your doctor has a good plan for you, although getting things done sooner than later may not be what happens for you. If you are really into the holidays, then postponing it is not a bad idea. I have had several surgeries around Thanksgiving in the past few years, and had to opt out of things, but also found I was able to have some more options for surgery dates and good downtime. I am glad you have gotten some traction around your healthcare needs, and Enerva is your role model!
I am sorry about the issues from the botox and ongoing hair loss issue. I know a couple on the threads here that also take Lexapro with mixed results. And very sad news about the woman who fell and then found out she had cancer everywhere. That is the problem with cancer, many times it has no symptoms until it is too late and has moved into organs. I had a friend whose husband had metastatic melanoma and no symptoms until he was vomiting and could not stop. By the time they figured out what was going on, he was end stage and died within a month, leaving a young wife (my friend) and 4 small children. It was just so terrible. Cancer can be very silent and very quickly moving. I understand why you could not go to the funeral either.
Speaking of skin cancer, I had a biopsy on my scalp that turned up as basal cell and had it surgically removed last week. Everything is okay with that, and the few stitches here will come out next Tuesday.
Off to pick up some lunch!
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BB- I hope your biopsy turns out to be nothing, but better to be sure.
This was my first time having any skin cancer. My sister has had two rounds of it in the past- basal cell and something called bowen's disease. Both removed and nothing for a few years now.
You and I are of the same era- baby oil laquered kids on the beach. I don't remember wearing a hat back then (although I have out here for years) and do remember getting sunburns on my scalp.
Let us know what you find out?
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BB- my PCP has missed things, that have been caught by others. This spot on my scalp was there for awhile, and PCP had looked at it and thought it was fine. But I noticed this year it was bigger and very scabby looking and had that classic look of a sore that would not heal. I just went ahead and made an apt with the derm this summer and told my PCP during my physical with her a few weeks before I was doing it. She wanted to know what my concerns were and I said "I know you looked at this before and said it was nothing, but it does not look good to me and I want the derm to check it." She did not challenge me, but asked if I needed anything from her, like a referral, etc. and said I was good to go. I am the one who pushed on this and glad I did. Glad to have it gone. My derm most basal cells don't pose a big problem, but if they get big enough, they can move.
You sound like you are right on top of things with your skin care too.
I think having multiple doctors looking at your info is a good thing. I never hesitate after some things that have not been taken as seriously to take it further if something does not look or feel right. Wishing you nothing but good news on your results!
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BB- I love the Maya Angelou expression "once you know better, you do better." I have no doubt my PCP will be surprised too to hear my scalp thing was basal cell. Question everything.
I am sorry you are feeling so tired. It could be the arimidex, I have fatigue days too, but can function most of the time. You could try another AI like Aromasin. I am having problems with my joints again and thinking of asking my MO if I can try that one next visit to see if it is better. I know fatigue from cancer treatment can linger for years and it could be the chemo too. How long has it been since you stopped chemo?
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BB- a doctor friend of mine who helped me through my surgeries told me it would be at least a year after my last major treatment (rads for me) before I really started feeling good again. I finished treatment March of 2013, and would say I did not feel really strong again until this past spring. My recovery also included the recovery the ruptured appendix around the same time. For the longest time, all I did was work, come home and rest, and did very little else. But I will say I did see an improvement in my energy through time. I do tire much easier now, but live a pretty normal life. It certainly does not sound like you are experiencing that yet though....
Might be good to get a second opinion with another MO? I met with two MOs early on, and the one I have now I really like. An MO who does not recognize the SEs with all this stuff (which can be worse than anything else) may not be the right MO for the longer term.
I am wishing you better days my friend.
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ok I managed to sleep a few hours and it was good. I will shower now and change dressing again since blood is still coming out from the under arm insicions only from the left side one. Somehow my rad side heals so fast, after rad it's so Wierd how fast it heals.
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Jazz I was just thinking if I get any mold in my head I will never find it ha ha ha cuz i got so much thick hair and I could never know how to look for something. It's a good thing you were able to find that mold.
BB I agree with jazz. It took me a full year after my last chemo to start feeling well. And yet not 100% well but well enough to do my exercise and my walking and get in shape. Chemo was so bad to me and so was rad. So you will have a year in November. You can surely say chemo is one of the problem still for you. Also the arimidex those drugs do affect you. I think your iron also is low so all these is putting their Se there too. ;( it's so good you are aware of all these so you can work a way to help your body.
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i just posted pictures in the picture forum, I never go there it's so annoying to log in a different site lol I hope my pictures help other people. I feel better today but still painful. I am again watching sex in the city lol I can't get enough of that show. Too bad it's over lol
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I have worked 2 very long 12 hour shifts. I was assigned 4 infants. 2 with VERY high-maintenance parents who a few thought I could smooth over. Indeed I smoothed everyone over and the one set of parents wondered where I had been this whole time. HAHAHAHA
I am not always so effective. My career though has been speckled with various hospitals and staff who think I have the magic touch with difficult patients and families. Mind you I am a love me or hate me kind of a gal. I guess me being quirky and difficult kind of lends it self to dealing well with difficult people. ????
Jazz, Yea for a completed home reno!!!!!
BB. I am so happy you are back on line with us.
xoxoxoI do not know why I have this habit of deleting post. I am juts very weird. But you gals except me none-the-less. Luv ya.
Life. In a few words I will say I am jealous. I am on FB and many friends are starting to send their children off to college. Many more have kids starting school, middle school and HS. Some days I am saddened. I know my son has to follow his own path. Yet as a parent I often feel excluded from the pride and experience of the other parents. . I cannot explain it other than a little envy. However, I am not feeling the pain of tuition.
Issuing hugs. I am very tired and did not get home until 9pm. At least I have tomorrow off and do not go back til Sat night.
My babies say hello and send warm snuggles.
I know, most days I am so fortunate to have a job like mine. Challenging as it may be. I luv my babies.
And one of my favorite nurse assistants asked me to be a reference for her. (She just graduated from nursing school and passed her license/state board exam). I am so proud of her and so humbled that she asked me.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
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piper I love you for the job you do lol 😁 I love babies and don't get me wrong I never really want one for me but I love to carry them when they are babies lol I love the smell and the sweet little hands lol I wish babies stay babies for ever ha ha ha
I am now thinking next month I will go back to normal. Starting to work and hoping to finally start making money sobi can pay for my license and start that other path in real state which sounds so scary yet exciting lol
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are any of you in Denver Colorado? There is a few ladies from the insomnia tread whoblive in Denver, if I go visit my friend I will try to meet them.
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Hi ladies- I made myself go to the gym tonight to do a yoga class and am the better for it. I have not been to the gym since last Monday, the day before scalp surgery. Since I cannot swim until the stitches come out, that took away a bit of my routine, but I also just didn't feel like it most of last week and then had things to do for the flooring prep. So back I went tonight and going to try to get there tomorrow to lift weights and Saturday for aqua zumba (no head in the water). I was thinking tonight if I don't exercise regularly, I start getting really stiff and sore from the AIs drugs. I really notice it when I have to stop moving, but won't beat myself up either given the surgery last week, but getting myself working out again. Onward and upward.
Piper- good to hear from you and sorry you feel left out with all that is going on with the kids going off to college. Sounds like your son decided not to go. I used to think it was so important going to college (came from my parents), but these days, kids can come out of college with debt equal to a mortgage and cannot find jobs very easily. I went to college and grad school in the late 70s to mid 80s and went to all state universities that were very affordable. I hope whatever path your son is following will be good for him.
And I love the visual of snuggley babies! You do sound very good at what you do. I am your counterpart dealing with all the difficult hospital business types.
Enerva- I was surprised that doctors office told you not to clean your incision for two weeks until you have your post opp. That seems like a really long time. Be careful with your bandages and I hope you will heal quickly and be on to your new career!
Time for bed. Gotta put this house together tomorrow and got some work ahead of me. You ladies have a good evening and a good start to the Labor Day weekend. Anybody got anything fun going on?
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good morning!! I woke up in a lot of pain
but still happy 😊 I managed to fall sleep around 3 am till 8 am so that was good 5 hours I got up and took those Drugs plus made breakfast . I am worry I haven't been to the bathroom 🚽 lol those laxatives are not working and it's Scary .I will try to go to the pharmacy today and getvthe prescription laxative .cuz the Senoko is not working . Perkoset can mess that up really well . How are all of you?
Jazz it's So good you will start training again. I can't wait for these weeks to go so I can go back to weight and walk I know summer is ending so I need to do as much as I can before old winter shows up at my door.
So my dear friend will come today. The Same one who drove me lol she will bring me Eggs, and movies she has and an icecup coffee ha ha ha I feel better to sit with her , better than the Day of my surgery.
she may brighter Dog too. I hope she will not stay too too long but I do want her To come cuz i can use the company been in bed with pain is not the Same as been in bed crocheting or reading it drive me nuts to be sick .Hope you all have a wonderful Friday and weekend
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Enerva- glad you are doing okay, but not going to the bathroom a bit worrisome. You have not been eating much so that could also be why, but if you feel constipated, you may need something else to get things moving. Our systems do go to sleep with anesthesia and hopefully yours will start waking up today.
Glad your friend is coming to visit, always good to have people coming in to check on us as we recover at home on our own. I hope you have a good visit.
You might also consider not asking your friend to bring her dog today too. At least be sure to tell her her dog needs to be by her side and not jumping on you (or your incisions). I stayed at a friends house once after some surgery, as the doc and hospital recommended I not be alone the night after my procedure and when I got to the door of the friends house, the dog was jumping up and down at the front door, and ready to jump on me. I told them I needed to protect my incision, and they got it immediately and had her separated from me as I came in and until I went to bed.
Take good care of yourself and continue to heal my friend!
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We are going to have a beautiful day here in my region. Not a cloud in the sky and low humidity. Another late start to my day, as I slept in again.
Oh well. I guess I am sleeping for the whole thread
Jazz, It is just a twinge of envy. I realize college isn't for everyone or the answer to everything. I always told my son to like what he does and be happy. He dropped out of HS and got his GED. I am glad he finalized his HS schooling, but felt like I missed out on celebrating certain milestones that come with graduation and such. That said, It really isn't about all of those surface things. It is about a boy becoming a man and my boy expects the world handed to him. There are moments where every parent may question if they have done the right thing. I question why my son is just so very different from how I raised him. I wonder what I did wrong. I wonder how much of his fathers influence and perhaps genes are also part of who he is. I just want him to be productive and mindful. I feel disrespected by his words and actions (or lack of).
I guess I am tired. All I have ever done is work hard all of my life. Maybe I am feeling selfish too, for I just want a little break at some point. I try to explain to him how tight money and my time are at this point and how very little he is helping. I am also prepping him for the inevitable...(selling my place and him being out on his own).....I am growing tired of him not getting the bigger picture.
E-I have no gut advice. It took me 10 days to "go" after my big surgery. I took Sennakot, colace 2 times a day and miralax. I ended up cutting out the narcs (occasionaly-taking one at night to sleep) and taking motrin during the day. I also realized the Zofran was continuing my problems so I had to cut that out too. I walked 3 times a day. Moving does a bodu good. No matter how slow or the distance. Laying around will just make matters worse.
Sometimes a suppository will help stim the lower bowel.
I also found Senna tea to be helpful. I would sip on it in the evening.
OK ladies hugs to all. Off to do my walk and sit on my deck before I dig into the garage today.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Piper- I am sorry about the things going on with your son. I don't know what it is, but the generations behind me (I am 54) seem to expect more and more. I saw it when I was in my 30s with the 20 year olds who just worked just enough to get by, when I was busting my butt and getting promotions and they remained in the status quo. I saw it in my 30s with friends who got MBA's and immediately expected to get a VP job out of grad school. I have seen a lot of entitlement behavior where I live just culturally as well as with the younger generations. It is very hard to witness, deal with in my work, and must be harder to deal with as a parent.
I am sorry you are missing this milestone around college and perhaps your son has to go out into the world and figure out for himself that the world is not going to hand him what he wants on a silver platter. I am sure you did a good job raising him up, but as you say, the dad may have influences on the way he behaves too. I have no doubt his peers do too.
It sounds to me like it is your time to enjoy some things for you too. I bet you will enjoy having your own space and it will bring new experiences for you too. But understand the change will be bittersweet as it is with the ending of many chapters in our lives.
I have a 25 year old nephew who acts very entitled. He does not bother to respond back to my texts or FB messages anymore. I decided this fall I am going to just not respond to his birthday. He is old enough to decide who he wants a relationship with, and I am done being a checkbook. It is disappointing, but part of what he needs to learn about me. I love him dearly, but tired of being taken for granted. So I can only imagine how you feel.
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ok so my friend came with her dog, it was ok he was well behave, I babysitter him in the past so he knew my dog and me from when he stayed with me in the past. It's amazing how dogs don't forget people lol we sat had tea, then she drove me to the pharmacy I filled my prescription. Also got the new laxatives and suppositories lol
It's the perkoset that makes my bathroom problem cuz the doctor also prescribed a laxative lol
So I want to tell you my experience with my nephew. The one I sponsored to Canada. He is such a smart man but once he met his wife, he was in grade 12 then he dropped out of high school
he just needed 4 more credits to get his high school diploma and he just didn't finish. Then he started to work and got married at only 19 years old. I try to influence him but his girlfriend had him under her spell. Now he is 27 years old and I keep asking him to register and finish his credits so he can go to college. He finally agreed now and he is raking the correspondence course one credit atvthe time that's all I ask. My points that he works and his wife already graduate she is now an accountant, now she quit work told her Masters and he still does not have his high school. I also stop the text msg like you did with your nephew jazz I also got tired of been there 110% and him never acknowledging me. When he married that girl I gave him my apt with all my furniture I moved out with my cloth and my dog. I did not own the apt it's a rental but it's a downtown location very afortable and I then bought my apt which is far from the city cuz i could not afford any other place. Then after I did that i started to see less and less of him. He will only see me on his own terms and I then realized it was only me whobwas always texting and reaching to them. Then when I had my mom here he never really had time to spend with me or my mom. So you see its just surprises me how similar you and I are. Lol Jazz it's like we have such similar luck lol Well now when ever my nephew sends me a msg and needs me I am there but I am no longer after him. I don't bother, I feel that I am here and if he wants to see me then I see him. I will still try to influence him to get his diploma so eventually he can go to college but I don't upset myself anymore. It's like you say I am tired of giving and giving and never putting myself first. The death of my mom impacted me in a way that I now feel there is no one important enough. Now I need to try to live what ever years I got and hopefully maybe I will meet a nice man to grow older with but at this point if I don't meet anybody I don't give a crap ha ha ha
I wanted focus on my dreams now, eventually going to Mexico or somewhere north and been closer to nature. And take every day asbif comes.
Piper try to let go cuz everything has a way to turn around and your son will find his path soon enough. One day he will realize how much you care and he will find what he likes it's just a matter of us letting go. We want what's best for them and sometimes it's not up to us. It's the kids that need to find their way. Not easy to do but not much we can do about it
Sometime I see on TV how people do send their kids to college and it's like so predictable but I then say oh well it's just not for everybody ha ha ha I wonder what kind of mom I could have been? Lol I had my nephew since he was 13 to when he was 19 then he got married and kind of moved on with his life and I am just not part of it anymore.
I now get the one afternoon with him once in a wile lol
The only good thing is that he is such a responsible man he never drinks or smokes he pays his bills and got his wife to finish college and he loves her so much that he forgot his own family. He never really talks to my family other than a text here and then. Even to my sister who's his real mom he does not keep in touch. Only with me and only once in a wile. It's just what it is.
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BB- glad you went off the Lexapro and see some positive results. Danged drugs that are supposed to help us can make things worse. How nice you got to see your son too! It sounds like he is doing well, and that must make you feel very good! I hope you feel better from the cold, tooth, etc. soon.
Enerva- sounds like your nephew and mine are alike in many ways. Like you, I would always be there for him if he really needed me. He has always treated my sister and I (he is our only nephew) like we are around for $$$, but also believe that comes from his parents. My former sister in law is very materialistic and everything is about money and stuff with her, and her current husband is much the same. So my nephew just does what he knows. When he was growing up, he used to ask us to buy him expensive stuff all the time and I would just say "I will give you money towards that for your birthday or Xmas." I could have never imagined asking an aunt or uncle to buy me things when I was a kid or as an adult either. My parents would have not tolerated that at all. Different time though.
My nephew is the son of my brother who died 22 years ago, and we made a commitment to my brother we would always be there for him. I took care of him a lot when my brother was sick and my nephew was a baby. I moved to NM about four years after my brother died, and would see him when I was back visiting and he came to visit here once. So we did not see each other regularly since 1996, but were always in touch and I would see him when I was where he was. He is in the Army and back in the US from Germany as of this year and stationed in KY. He is having his own life and experience too!
I am with you too, I want to focus on living my life as fully as possible and spending my time and energy with those who want to do so with me. He is on his own path and as he grows up and life presents different experiences, our relationship may change. I was around my aunts and uncles a lot as a kid, but then were very close with them when I got in my 30s and things were happening in the family. They became my elders when my parents starting falling apart. Thank god for aunts and uncles!
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BB- yay for nieces and their babies! I like the idea of you going to see them when you can! I am sure you are very special to them too.
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BB- people who knew us before and stay with us after are the keepers.
Sorry you are not going to the wedding this weekend. I think loosing other sides of the family with divorce is very hard. I have lots people all along the way with some of the things I have gone through. It really is sad. I value the ones that have stuck around no matter what.
I have been working on this house all day, and am tired and taking a nap now.....
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BB- outside of working on the house (just had hardwood floors done this week so I am reassembling some rooms), I am going to go play some music tomorrow at the Saturday jam session with the jazz workshop and also going up north to some hot springs on Sunday I have not been to before with one of my good friends.
How about you?
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i am going to bed, I think going to the pharmacy was too much, I am so exhausted n pain
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Enerva- sorry you are not feeling well my friend. Please rest and lay low for a few days.
Watch TV, nap, drink fluids, nap some more.
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Trying to catch up on this conversation now... :-)
Enerva - I'm sorry you're having some difficulty now. I remember having those same difficulties following surgery. For me, the pain killers were the problem, and laxatives never helped me much, either. It seems that time itself takes care of the problem eventually. Just taking it easy, resting, and drinking plenty of fluids seems to work well. I hope you're back to feeling well very soon. :-)
Jazzy & Enerva - The two of you really do seem to have a lot in common. :-)
BTW, E, I wish I were 41 again. ;-) lol You're still young!
BB - Good to have you back with us! So glad you've found a good PS. It sounds like things are looking up and you're doing very well. :-)
Piper - You're not missing any milestones. :-) I'm trying not to divulge too many details on the forum, so I'll be sending you a PM shortly. When you hear more of the details, you might be surprised. ;-) Anyway, for the record, I never lived away at college. Most of my friends didn't live away at college, either. Like me, they either took classes part-time and/or commuted to school or learned a trade. Many became successful later. As a matter of fact, at first my son planned to live at home and continue with community college courses, just as many of his friends are doing. He's the first in my direct lineage to live away at college - perhaps that's why my point of view is different. There are many 19-year-olds still trying to find their path; I know many mothers who worry (I'm one of them). But, as I always told my eldest, college is just one route, and it doesn't guarantee anything. There are many people who earn a lot of money and make all the wrong choices, sometimes going broke. What really matters are the other choices a person makes - being able to sleep peacefully at night with a clear conscience (now there's something I myself still have trouble doing) - how a person treats other people - how he or she handles responsibility. As for the bills, though, he's handling the whole thing himself. I'm completely broke... lol. But, if everything goes according to plan, he may graduate without any debt at all. (More in the PM...)
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Piper- I lived at home when I went to college too. I had a boyfriend my senior year of high school and did not want to move away from him so I want to college in the area I grew up. Many people did went to area colleges and commuted, it just made it more do-able for the parents to pay for it without having to take out loans (I was the third kid to go to college also in my family).
When I went to grad school for my Masters, I moved far away (Texas) and probably had a bit more of the college experience I missed living away.
It all works out in the end, so many pathways one can take in life. I wish your son the best in his freshman year at college!
Good night one and all! I wish I was 41 too!
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ladies lol I wish I was 35 lol
I totally agree with all of you regarding the college options, many people make it in life and do very well without college. And what really matters is how the kids handle their decision making. Most of these decisions will affect their entire future.
It's 3:42 am and yes my pain is just here, still taking one perkoset every 6 hours I will switch to another pain killer today. Hopefully my stomach will get better.
I wonder when do I see the doctor next. I left a msg on his secretary answer machine n she never called me back. Will try again Monday.
Hope you are all sleeping well now
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Stopping in quickly.
Hope you were able to get some sleep E and are in less pain today.
I am a little surprised you did not have complete discharge instructions (verbal and written) and when to follow up with your physician.
I would say you need to see your MD within a week after your procedure. Of course, I have no idea, the availability of appointments. Things seem so different in some ways with the Canadian heath care system.
Thank you all for your stories and support. I guess I am just getting tired of my son living with me.... hahahaha. I really enjoyed living by myself the 3 years he was gone. And did not have the worries like I do with him in the house.
Heading out for a walk soon.
Once again my garage took a back seat to the day. My neighbor and I went for a 5.5 mile walk/hike. Went to Costco later and that was my day except for doing a little cleaning up in the kitchen.
I was dead tired and dozed on my bed, before I got up for a snack, took care of a few bills and checked e-mails, then got ready for bed.
I work tonight and tomorrow night. Off 2 days and back to daylight. No wonder I am so tired most of the time
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and enjoys some nice weather and sun.
Enjoy the springs Jazz.
xoxo
Piper
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I find the group does a nice job of welcoming each new poster.
I also find there are a lot of "Hit and Runs" around the threads.
People who really have no intention of getting involved in a particular thread-they just pop in with their 2 cents and move on.
It is what it is, But I know what you mean BB. You crack me up.
I know my friend would always 'wipe' his computer clean before returning it to what ever company he was leaving.
I found a link. Unsure if it is too much work or if your son could just do it for you.
http://www.howtogeek.com/171980/how-to-prepare-a-c...
xoxo
enjoy the weekend
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ha ha ha I have a feeling we the 6 of us are very good friends now lol no matter whatvthe hell we post, we never judge and I love that.
I am better I got up, cooked lunch and now watching sons of anarchy show lol my friend brought me the 3 season lol
So still in pain but still happy and smiling ☺ yes emotional I feel 1000% better. The bras fit me just perfect so that means I was right this volume is perfect it filled in the skin and rippling is gone Yaaahooo this ps has no idea how he impacted my life
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