Single life after a mastectomy
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OMG Jazz....YUMMO!!!!
The local corn here is amazing. Maybe I will stop at the local farm on Thurs and get some more. I got the white corn the last time and it was soooooo good. Really the only time of year I eat corn.
here is a yummy healthy salad recipe....
Sexy Kale With Avocado-Chia Dressing
By Aimee Hughes
Yield: 2 servings
- 1 ripe avocado, peeled and seeded
- 1/8 cup chia gel (soak 2 tablespoons chia seeds in 1 cup water for at least 30 minutes)
- 1/4 cup tahini
- 2 teaspoons soy sauce or nama shoyu
- 2 teaspoons pure maple syrup
- 2 cloves garlic, chopped
- 1/2 teaspoon cumin
- dash of cayenne pepper
- 5 cups kale, cleaned and chopped
- 1/4 cup carrot, grated
1. Combine the first eight ingredients in your blender to make a dressing.
2. Place kale and carrots in a large serving bowl.
3. Coat with dressing and serve.
(My tip: Massage your kale with your hands to soften the leaves)I often skip the cumin.
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BB- Adrien Brody came on the scene in 2002. If you have not ever seen The Pianist, it is a great movie. I think he got an Oscar for it. It was also the debut for Anna Paquin (who I really like), who was a child actress at that time, but now a very good adult actor too! I saw Adrien in something else recently, but I cannot remember what. You should check out his films and watch him. Unless it will make you sad about your ex....
I am sorry that it hurts to remember him still. I think if you still have desire, then you hold on to that and be open to meeting someone again for companionship. Maybe not marriage again, if that is not a place you want to go, but someone to share your time with. Like Piper does with her widow friends. Quality male companionship can come in all shapes and sizes. As we age, most of us don't want to get tied down into other people's situations and family expectations. I may take my own advice one of these days too.....
Old habits do die hard. I am sure your doctor would like you to quit smoking, but was curious if that was an overall recommendation or it was tied to your future surgery?
Piper- thanks for that recipe. I think I mentioned I bought a juicer and then had to put it away during the painting and flooring job (excess kitchen things went in a spare room). I pulled it out the other day and going to start getting some juicing going. I plan to hit the midweek farmer's market tomorrow. I am big fan of kale!
Life, Milky, how are you doing?
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omg piper can I move in once your son moves out? Ha ha ha I am like Bb most of the ingredients I don't know but it sounds so good I must copy and save it lol I got a few bad news and a few good. So after I got upset about my sister no wanting to take the scan and test. I decided to focus on me so I basically never told her or my family about my surgery, today she finally did her brain scan lol so I will let her know I had my surgery lol sometimes the only way to get her to react is to back off lol kind of like saying ok I gave you my opinion and I won't say anything more, let me know what you decide. But she knew I was upset I stopped comunicación for an entire week lol till today.
That is my good news, sister is doing the MRI, got one done today next is the chest, tórax and then we will know if there is any new lesions.
The bad news is that grand mom had a colonnoscopy today and grand pa will have a emergency surgery done on his shoulder this Saturday due to a cist and he had skin cancer in his face years ago so we are kind of worry. They are 86 and 84 so very fragile. They are my family from France. Now my sister is in númea taking care of her moving which is happening on the last week of September so no way she can get to France before. Now I am worry that no body is caring for our old folks I will see how I feel maybe I can go for a week but I don't think I can travel
Anyway I see my stitch been good bad pain is strong. I think is all normal considering the pocket work done.
Milky maybe you can make that recepi piper gave us? Lol maybe we can go get the ingredients and make it together
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oh Ya bb i have only seen new orland in movies but it's looks so beautiful I wish I get to visit one day.
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Enerva- you and I are a lot alike with our families. I don't usually tell my family much of anything either until I have everything figured out or am through it. They either completely dismiss it or get dramatic about it. Neither reactions really help.
Anyways, I am glad your sister is finally getting the tests done and hopefully you will know more about what is going on. As scary as it is to face those results, I would rather know so I can make informed decisions. I am sorry about your grandparents too. I know it gets very hard in your 80's.
I am also very proud of you that you put them on hold to get through this surgery and take good care of yourself. You should be very proud of that. Boundaries with family is very hard to do.
Going for a walk. I have a new focus in Sept around health and fitness I will share with you soon.
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Here's another avocado dressing with simple ingredients
I'll make this dressing on Thurs and see how it goes.
Piper
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BB- I love synchronicity. Enjoy!
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ok I took a pill for sleep but today I didn't take much pain killer I am trying not to take pain killers. Not easy cuz it hurts but I am trying to see if I manage. Tmw I have an appointment at 9 am to see the psychiatry lady lol I don't feel like going out of my place but I have to make it. I will take the bus. Hope you all have a great nights full of sweet dreams
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Enerva- good luck getting out tomorrow and give yourself plenty of time to get to your apt. I know you have probably not been out since your surgery a week ago. I hope you sleep well and that the apt goes well.
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hello everybody
Enerva you will fully recover next week
Eat protiens because its good for healing.i am in ontario let me know if you need anything . when is your next appointment with hoffer
Jazzy girl.life s wonder.sandpiper1 and bosumblues .kale is very popular these days .and its easily available
I am back .back to life .my plasticsurgeon will see me after 2 months i can still see my stitches around my nipples .both of them have different shapes at least i am not nippleless .
Few more weeks to winter.enjoy as much as you guys can i hate when its dark at 4.30pm .
I am still not able to wear any pants or jean i was wearing yoga pants for last 8 months now i bought jean and pants with elastic .
Its 2.15 am and i am still awake
Good night
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Milky- good to hear from you. I had to wear comfortable pants for a long time after my abdominal surgery. Better for not crowding the healing in that area. I am a fan of all types of stretchy pants.
And sorry you still see some difference with the nipples. Doctors cannot seem to get this stuff right for so many.
I hope your travels were really good for you. I always come back feeling better after a good road trip!
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On the subject of food, I saw this on FB this morning and think it is a great idea. Watermelon pizza!
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lol ladies just got back, took lots of extra time and made it there in time. All ok this woman has not helped me much but I guess I needed to see someone. Now won't see her in two months. Pain is under control with regular pain killer and if it gets too intense I take one perkoset.
Milky I can see you any time, now I am ok to drive after today. At least that's what the secretary said when I asked her yesterday she Said I can drive after 7 days lol today it's my day 7 Yahooo. It's so beautiful out. I am exhausted. I came and went to put some laundry to wash also defrozing some fish and I will prepare in the haven with sweet potatoes and regular potatoes. I will drink a protein shake too. I wish I knew how to prepare great meals. I am just not into cooking anymore. I now make very easy things lol
I am very happy I went out the house today
Can't wait to get the sticht out though
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Enerva- glad you got there and home okay. Even if it is hard to go out he first time, it is good to do it and next time will be easier. I have also lost my bigger desire to cook too since I got sick. I do it on occasion though.
I am sorry the therapist is not helping you. I have gone to therapy several times in my life and always been very specific with them about what I wanted to work on. Grief counseling after my brother died, second time was after that when I was just have a miserable time dealing with my mother and sister, third time was when my mother got sick and we had to take over everything for her. A lot of times they will just do whatever they want and not what you need.
Have you ever considered a life coach? I have worked with a business coach for my consulting work, but not a life coach. But I have wanted to. Several friends have who have been trying to move through some things, and forward with their lives have talked about how much it helped them. Therapists tend to focus on the past and life coaches more on the present and where you want to be in the future. They are out of pocket though, not covered by insurance (but who knows in Canada?)
I am glad you and Milky live near each other and can see one another. A real blessing.
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Jazz, I will consider that for sure
Yes milky and I live close wich is really nice. Milky loves food lol a bit dangerous considering I am watching my carbs diet and she loves to eat a any hours of the day ha ha ha I always wanted to take cooking class but after all the sh it that went on with chemo I lost my desire for food. I had 3 very difficult months with chemo and it was vomiting almost 3 weeks in a row and I never gain back the love I used have for food. Even now I can only eat before 2. I mean the sweet or what breads or processed food I never have much but if I do it has to be before that 2 or 3 pm after that my stomach only is able to have soup or fruits but it overall affected my digestive system and I lostvthe love for food. I used to literally love food and because I was always training and active I had never been overweight then chemo change all for me. But I am still somewhat into learning new recepies for maybe later I may get my cooking skills back lol
😁
My sister had fever last night and I am worried waiting to hear if it's now ok or if she will see a doctor.
Hope you all have a great day.
MILKY welcome back and Stop talking about winter lol I don't want to hear about it .
Lol
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Enerva- I still love food, but don't eat that much anymore. My friends on Sunday had so much food at their gathering and it was too much. I have to keep my calories low and watch the carbs too as now that I am in menopause and also taking the AIs, it is way easy to gain weight. Plus I am trying to loose more.
I am sorry you lost your desire for food after the chemo. Another one of those unfortunate longer term SEs that seem to come from the treatment. It sounds like you had a really rough time with it too. Maybe it is good to be around Milky. She will be sure you are getting your protein too!
After a few days off, I am back to working on finishing putting the house back together from the paint/flooring job. Making progress.
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form the last one year i was soo busy in hosp n surgeries i only ate n ate i lost 4 kg during my DIEP but i had zero physical activity i put on wt.i was in love with food to release stress but now i have to do something m done with surgeries
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BB- I am sorry your boyfriend left you after your DX. I wonder if there was not more going on with him and that the PTSD from your DX. Maybe it got retriggered from something earlier? Maybe from someone in the past who got sick when he was a child and had no ability to cope. People can be so easily pulled back into those times.
Not everyone is strong enough to stay with us in hard times. I have learned that over and over again in life. I learned that in my 30s when my brother was ill and dying, and many people could deal with that or me. And other things since. Now when they leave, I just let them go. I don't want anyone sticking around who does not enough about me to stick it out. I don't want fair weather friends or boyfriends for that matter. And people like that are everywhere. Eventually, life will hand them something difficult and they may find themselves abandoned too. We call that karma.
I think seeing Adrian and the reminder of the hurt you went through and perhaps it is coming up again to be healed? That is my thought. Maybe you could think about forgiving him. Remember forgiving is not about saying "what you did was okay" but it is letting go of the hurt around it.
My guess is now if you saw him, you would not want to be with him again because you know who he is and the way he is when things get tough. You are a different person now. And you are more than your looks. You are a person deserving of love and kindness.
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BB- now I understand and how awful he had to go through that in his youth. I also get that it did trigger something in him from that time. Hopefully he got the help he needs to work through those things, as life will bring more difficult situations. It is good you just forgave him at the time. Breast cancer is so much more treatable than many other kinds of cancer. It is too bad he did not realize that, that you were going to go through stuff but had a good chance of being around for a long time.
Going to clean up and go meet my doctor friend at the farmers market and then go SWIMMING today for the first time in weeks since the scalp surgery. And yes BB, the spot on my head was bigger than expected and 6 stitches were needed.
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BB- my last serious boyfriend was 2010. We had known each other for awhile through a music class, but got something going that spring. Then he disappeared quickly after. He went to do some work out of state without saying goodbye or keeping in touch. I was very hurt, and also just done very quickly with him.
I ran into him twice after that, the summer after and when he had just returned from being out in CA for a year. He acted like no big deal, but I was not friendly. My friend I was with last weekend was with me when that happened, and said he was totally freaked out to see me. I said "well, at least that is now over with". The first time you see something after something has ended. Then a year later I ran into him again right after my mother passed away. By then, any romantic feelings were just gone.
When I saw him a year later (2012), I learned his sister (who he told me he was not in touch with) had died from breast cancer. Like about 6 weeks before that, and he was totally freaked out about it. I guess he found out through her partner who just mailed him a box of old family photos and other things from their childhood. That is how he found out, box in the mail. He kept telling me he was okay, that it was "no big deal" but he was totally undone. He seemed to be doing some very self destructive things at that time too.
Later that year, I got diagnosed with the BC. I realized at some later point I was just glad he left when he did. I am sure he would have not been able to be there for me either. I have not run into him since.
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Bosumblues you can share wotever you want we are all here to listen you some days are bad some days are worst its normal to vent we are on same boat we are all in healing process .after 20 yrs of marriage i feel i was living with scorpio .so he showed his true face he was waiting for the right time to ditch me or i dont know.everyday starts with different feelings.i didnt know i can think in so many ways hahaha.
When i go to any other thread i feel they all are lucky atleast they are with their partner on their difficult time they only have to deal physical pain.i dont know how we are managing without companion but soo far so good.English is not my ist language forgive me if u find any mistakes .
Smile
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Milky- you do well with your posts! What is your native language?
And I agree, we can talk about this stuff here. Women who have supportive husbands are fortunate to have that help. I have been on a couple threads where women don't have that though.
My sister's partner was not supportive of her through treatment, she is very selfish and it always about her. My sister looks the other way and makes excuses. I say nothing because that is her choice.
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Milky - You're doing well with the English language - probably better than many native English speakers. ;-)
E - Glad to hear that things are coming along with your recovery and that your sister decided to go through with the scans. I hope nothing else is found and, if anything is, that the doctors can help her completely.
BB - I highly doubt that you're "homely." ;-) I've noticed that women who are used to being perfectly beautiful sometimes hold themselves to impossibly high standards. You just finished chemo, surgeries, etc. I know you said the arimidex did a number on you. But, it just might take some time before you begin to feel like your old self again. I know none of us will ever be exactly like our old selves, really. But we could feel better about ourselves again soon.
As for women who don't invite their beautiful friends around... I always had a different policy: I made sure to introduce my boyfriends (and later my husband) to friends and relatives who are beautiful. Because that's how I would test the men in my life. LOL. ;-)
Jazzy - Glad to hear the stitches are out.
Piper and everyone - Enjoy the rest of the evening. I'll check in later.
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OK, well, if you want an honest opinion, personally I think it's not a good idea. Again, that's just my opinion, taken from personal experience. I know how difficult it is to keep from contacting a man when you still have some feelings for him. I've been there. But, whenever I'd initiate contact, I'd feel terrible and filled with regret afterward. I really, really had a tough time keeping myself from contacting someone in recent times, and now I'm glad I kept myself from contacting him.
But maybe someone else here will have a different opinion.
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Hi Ladies,
I have been reading this thread for a long time. You are a wonderful and supportive group (with lots of humor too)! I am single, and I have been since 2007! Unfortunately, all my health problems began when I was 44 yr. All problems female related!
BB, I too have someone in my life that I met at 21 yr.....it was an instant connection! We were together for 10 yr, but life and shit happens. Every once in awhile we reach out to each other, but always bad timing. I too want to reach out to him at this time. It is lonely going through this journey without a partner to just hold you and reassure you that things will be OK. My thought is to send him the email as long as you have your expectations in check. You have nothing to lose.
This BC sucks!
Lisa
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Thank you for the welcome! I too thought I would be much better by now. There has been significant improvement......but gheez!
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ok so let's see where does start....
Ok first I must say my cel phone is digital and I am no use to it and most Times I hit post just to realize later of the horror I post ha ha ha so I am asking for forgiveness too. Lol
So Bb........ Hummmm if I were you, I would use this feelings to make an effort toward getting your body back. Say you set it as a goal. You tell us you could love some contact with this man but you could never agree to see him cuz you feel ugly? Which I know you won't listen to any of us if we say you are beautiful. So why not use that man as an excuse, Or a push. ? Like this, everyday when u get up say, I will go for my walk and I will do yoga or I will go hiking or what ever activities there are that you enjoy. I will only smoke 3 cigarettes a day for a week then 2 And as soon as I get my brava and my recon finished I will contact xxxxxx and I will show him that bc is in my past and that i am even more beautiful than before. Ok Dont laugh and don't hate me just hear me out.
One day after my second treatment of chemo. My ex came together city and he saw me.he made me feel as if c didn't bother him and it made me feel so good. But as I saw him saying good bye the morning he left I saw a look in his face of sadness and then it hit me. He was hiding his real thoughts regarding situation.
Then one day I saw an ugly fat round woman in the mirrors and It was terrifying my arm and my back were like a man. And I looked like someone who I did not recognize. I then promise myself I was going to get my body back, I had no idea how but I promise myself I was going to see my ex again and that he was going to see me as beautiful as I was or even better and that i was going to be like bc never came my way. Girls I am attaching a picture of me this was March 28 2013. BB LOOK AT ME IN THIS PICTURE. And now look at me now.
Bb. All I am saying is that I need you to use all this emotions you got now and used them to help you move forward and not toward depression cuz it can turn the wrong way. You were here for me when my second opinion made me cry cuz my second opinion ps say I look ok as it was and I should be greatful. I had work so hard to pull out of hell I needed my breast back and here that ps was saying go away I can't help you. You guys encouraged me to find another Ps. And today I am happy again and I will make sure my ex see me again the next time he is in town and I will be strong not to fall for him again but it will give me satisfaction to see his face. To get him excited and yet not give him any ha ha ha so. Please don't contact him now. Use him as a goal or motivation. focus on your food, quitting smoking or cutting it down also getting ready for your brava, do what ever itvtakes to get well and be back to been the woman you were. Now you are frágil if you contact him now, you are not strong enough to see him and also you are not strong enough to be rejected.
Here see me here
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I am happy with the results, but I still have issues. Everyone says it takes months to fully see the results!
I still have my Ds!
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Enerva - That's wise advice, imho. That was so nice of you to post those photos for BB. I remember being bald and wearing a cap, too, and being unrecognizable to some people who knew me. Then there were people who met me bald and when my hair grew in, I had to explain to them, too - "It's me, that lady who was bald and sick." LOL.
BB - I am not satisfied and probably never will be with the reconstruction. My PS was great, but I wasn't willing to do too much. The radiation messed everything up on one side. (The other side is perfect, though.) Plus, I can't afford tattoos and maybe never will.
LiLi - Welcome. :-)
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sorry, I never saw lily welcome.
Hope bb does not kill me now but I just thought it could be worth the try lol
Something else I need to share with all of you. So my friend from the past after that night were I was used as a taxi lol he never text or contacted me till the day before surgery to say hi, and to ask me if the Spanish girl said anything regarding his cousin.I asked what do you mean? He said oh he hasn't hear from her so he wondered if she mentioned anything to you. I replied. "Nop, no really,"" I met her the next day gave back the license and that's all". Then he said so when do we see you again.? Then I said "oh i have surgery this week and I don't think I will be able to see you guys this month." He said. Oh" ok I hope everything is great let me know how surgery goes." That was it. So yesterday I realized the guy never even sent me a msg to see how I am. Then I figure. I bet he is dating someone. So I sent a msg saying. Dude how are you? How is the new girl? I am doing great hope you guys are well too. He sent me a msg saying " oh Tanya is amazing, you will love her" lol see, ha ha ha the guy is dating no wonder stopped messaging me lol men are just unreal. I am so glad I never showed him I had a thing for him. He was flirting I kept avoiding the possibility and fast enough he moved on lol so that shows me how he really is. Lol
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