Single life after a mastectomy
Comments
-
BB- if she cannot help you, then she will be able to advise you of what might be a better course of treatment to help you feel better. The good thing here is that you are reaching out and getting some of the help that will get you in a better place. You are taking good care of yourself by doing this.
0 -
Hello alll,
No adventures to report.
Had PT today and shoulder and back are sore and had Herceptin treatment (every Thursday) which leaves me feeling achy as if coming down with the flu. So kinda a blah day. Had some chicken soup and I'm in bed already. Kids watching TV till 9:30 then I'll go to sleep.
BB crying is a wayt of letting it out, I hope whatever is weighing you down leaves very soon.
Jazz congrats on presentation
Enerva I'm excited for you and your blind date. If you wear one of your tops, you'll knock his socks off.
Piper Thank you for sharing your experience and pictures. 9/11 is my baby brother's BD. On that day I had dropped off my youngest at elementary school, spent some time at the school I was PTA pres. and then had gone to publix to shop. I was cooking and making a cake for my brother. I was married at the time and my second was 5 months old. I was in line to pay when the store manager started speaking over the PA. and announced the plane in the first tower. Cell phones started ringing. Every one was asking if it was real. I grabbed my groceries, got in car, turned on radio, and went to my son's school and took him out. Went home and started watching the TV. Saw second plane in tower and other events. 13 years ago and I still remember as if yesterday. Im still angry and saddened. I hope to go to Ground Zero. I remember going to the observation deck with my girlfriends on a trip we took in our early 20's. NY and PA we both home to me until my parents moved to Miami.
Be well,
Vivian
0 -
Hi June
BB. Ditto what Jazz said.
And Jazz, very cool you are in on the planning for making the local area and economy better while also finding new opportunities for your own work.
I went for a walk. Of course I have to wrap and ice my ankle. I think I hit it on Sunday and it is becoming bothersome (had a nasty fall/sprain last year during one of my long runs).... The cooler air was good for me though. Hope some are enjoying the Fall like temps. Now if it could stay like this all year.
I decided to phone an Aunt and Uncle (from my fathers side) whom I haven't seen or spoken with in some time.
Long story...They have 6 children, 3 of whom died from substance abuse issues. The 3 died in succession, one after the other. ranging in age from 36-late 40s. All too young.
I left a message this afternoon. They live within a 10min drive of my house. They are the only family from that side I remotely keep in touch with. I have the other 3 cousins on my FB. My uncle phoned back during my walk.....I am glad he did so. I will have to explore how I may be able to reconnect. They needed their time off the radar....I think it will be good for all of us.
I also left a message for my cousin whose partner died. He isn't returning any calls (according to my sister and mom)
I was betting on this so I could just leave a message he can listen to and decide when it is good for him to call back. I am hoping he will find time in the future to visit. It is too difficult to get my mother up there. She has claustrophobia and was only on a plane to their home once. I don't think she can do it again. Driving may be an option, but again...I think it would be too hard on her.
Anyhow.....I am catching a bit of the game before I head to bed.
Lot's of hugs, healing thoughts and wishes for a wonderful weekend for all.
Whatever brings smile to your face. ...........
Don't forget to add to the bucket list.......
I wanna see what we are going to do while traveling the country in an RV caravan.
xoxo
Piper
0 -
Viv,
I was writing as you were posting.
TY for sharing about 9/11
It was a difficult day for all. It is difficult for me too to remember...the feelings remain quite visceral. I don't speak of it often. I am so glad I took the time to visit the memorial. It is my hope to return and leave an angle gown for the littlest passenger.
I was in class that day taking an exam and had no idea anything was amiss until the school announced the evacuation and our instructor was the first to bug out. I just stood there like. WTF! The ship is going down without it's captain (I lost all respect for that instructor and just 2 years ago sat at a wedding with her UGH!)
During break someone had said there was a plane crash. We returned to class and that was all I knew until the evacuation and I was in my car listening to the radio accounts of what was taking place. It was chaos on the radio, I had to turn it off as it sounded like broadcast from the old horror shows......When I got home, no one was around except for my son riding his bike in the cul de sac. (I was home schooling him at this time-reason why he was home). There was no sound......the silence was deafening. At the time, I lived near the airport and an air force base. It was like the end of the world. I went inside and my mother was near a state of shock. She was crying and said it was like WW2 all over again. The air raids, the constant threat of an enemy.....the unknown.
Flight 93 was in essence perilously close to my home and when they said a plane was traveling near and then had crashed in the "Pittsburgh Area" (hence the evacuation of the school) Every person was in a panic. The phone was ringing off the hook. "ARE YOU OK?"
I wondered if I would be called into work early due to the possibility of a large amount of victims.
Unfortunately.........every hospital prepared for incoming patients........only to be met with another deafening silence.....the silence of....................no survivors.
Heavy hearts all around. People from the area traveling to NY and Washington to help in any way possible.
Eventually, there would be few Air Force air traffic overhead which would scare us even more. My BIL on his way back home from overseas and ended up stranded in Nova Scotia. My sister was in panic mode before finding out where his flight had been diverted and eventually landed.
One more experience to relay......
I will back this up by saying my son once asked me what color we were and I had to tell him we were Caucasian.
true story. Call it a little PTSD if you will........Weeks later, after the attacks, my son and I were at the grocery store. A young woman slammed a cart into another womans car and left a dent and some scratches. I witnessed it and the young woman became quite aggressive toward the other woman when asked for her insurance info. I decided to stick around and be her witness to the young womans behavior. It was that BAD! The older woman had her grandson with her and I took him aside to stand with my son. I was frightened what this woman might do. As were the 2 boys. The grandson almost charged her and I had to hold him back. My son got scared and angry and asked if the young woman was one of the attackers. Later he said he had asked because she had an accent. The young woman had an English accent....All my son knew was people form another country had hurt people in our country and he thought she was going to hurt us too!
Isn't that a shame.........that is how misconceptions start.....
As a side the young woman was driving an elderly family member and yelled at her passenger telling her it was all her fault. I was afraid for that person too. In the midst of all of this I wrote down the make of the car and the license number. I knew she would try to run. I handed the info to the woman and told her to leave and report it from home. I gave her my info so she could use me as a witness.
She phoned me to say TY and tell me I was the reason the womans insurance did not give them any trouble.
She got my address to send me a TY card.
Imagine my surprise when she sent me a gift certificate to the local mall. I was embarrassed as I had done this for the greater good not for compensation. I didn't want to insult her and she later told me the gift was the least she could do as I saved her so much money in repairs.
I will say...I was so broke at that time. Being in school, raising my son and receiving no child support at the time (deadbeat dad)
My son needed a new winter coat...He got one.....funny how life works isn't it.
My stories weave into and out of each other..sorry for the long winded post
BB.........I also want to say it takes such strength to reach out. Like you I find it difficult to do so until I reach the end of my cope rope.
I wish you better moments in the days to come.
hugs ladies.....
xoxo
0 -
Piper- I am glad you are reaching out to your cousins. How terrible the one family lost so many adult children and from addiction too. Must have been devastating to the parents in ways I cannot even imagine. I think it is good they have had some time to grieve and no doubt may welcome a visit now a bit down the line. Grief (like cancer) can be very isolating and lonely, and I am sure it will be healing for both of you to reconnect.
It sounds like your other cousin who lost his partner must be in deep grief now. Maybe he is not ready to spend time with people right now but keeping it touch will help. Holidays are very hard after people loose loved ones. Do you think you could invite him to come see you sometime? Maybe even for a holiday?
Viv- I am sorry about the herceptin dragging you down. My sister had to do that for a year too. And it looks like you are on hormone therapy too, that combo may not be too easy. A lot of drugs in your system right now. I hope you feel better soon.
Going to journal for a bit and go to bed. I have many things running through my head after this week and new ideas about directions I want to go for work.
0 -
Friday funny...early
feel better VIV!
nighty ladies..........
0 -
Good morning all.
Thank for the well wishes, I am feeling better. I am on the tail end of herceptin 11 more treatments and I'm finished. I was forewarned that the last few could be a bit ruff sometimes. Took kids to school, then got out trash and took advantage of mother nature. A few drops of dawn on my car a quick mopping and the rain will do the rest. I have a black olive tree next to driveway. They are community trees, so can't get rid of them. They stain everything.
I've got some work to do, I'll be back later.
Have a great day
Vivian
0 -
hi ladies, wow Jazz congratulations on finishing the panel
glad all went well. PIPER I am proud of you, I also responded to a text from my ex last night. He sent me a text just contacting me saying how is recovery, pain and all going? I looked atvthe text and pause for a minute then I send this one back.
All going great, Less pain every day and healing nice. I need to tell you I have agreed to meet some one and it's funny he is from your neighbourhood
Wierd coincidence, hopefully there will be chemistry, wish me luck.He said: you look great so I am sure any man will like you. Why are you looking for someone this far away from raw city?
Me,
I was not looking he is a friend of a friend after chatting with him I found out where he is from. Anyway I hope it works out. Take care
So, I did that and I felt great, my ex keeps texting me from time to time and I want him to know I am moving on. I was not rude but I know this puts it clear on the table I won't be his toy anymore. I have to admit it bother me how well he took it but I guess maybe he also moved on.:(
Bb yes I won't waist time. That does not mean I will be intimate right away or jump into any relationship fast.I only agree to meet him and my my friends aparently already warn him of how I am and that i am not for a game. Ha ha hopefully there will be chemistry cuz if not I won't waist his time or mine. I need that click turn on lol
I don't know if we will meet this weekend. I hope so.
I have been busy crocheting and making new tops for my little business in cancun, also watching a few shows once I start work I will be busy and good buy TV. Good bye crochet lol
0 -
Enerva- I am glad you let you ex know you are recovering and doing okay, as well as moving on. I like how he thinks you are out trolling for men when in reality, you are trying to recover from bc and this final recon surgery. Well, people don't get that and men especially, right? Your responses to him were clear and concise. Don't be surprised if he comes back to "see how things are going with your new friend" too. Men like to keep women on the hook just in case. The funny think is, most of them don't realize they are the only ones playing that game. You are creating a new chapter now for yourself, and he just fits with the old chapter. Onward and upward, you go girl.
I finished my first week of personal training today and feel so good to be doing this. We found some more compensating behaviors today we are going to work on, but I already feel much better after this first week. Exercising every day is also helping me with my SEs on arimidex, not as much joint stiffness. I just did not have the energy to exercise every day on that last contract. My challenge will be to ensure I keep a good momentum once I do resume working.
I learned something today I really never made the connection on. Your waist girth is a direct indication of the fat around your organs and your risk of coronary issue. I have heard the more fat around your mid section meant higher risk because it was closer to your heart, but it is more than that from what my trainer says. It tells you that you have a lot around the inside that is not seen and she is working with me to get rid of that. I told her the scales were starting to move down and she said "that is good, but remember you will be building muscle that will weigh more too so don't be surprised if that slows down." Her goal is to help get my girth down. Between my waist measurement and a meter she did to test my internal body fat, the focus needs to be there. We will check again in two weeks to see where that is at and will keep you posted. This is the most important thing I need to be doing right now.
http://www.topendsports.com/testing/tests/girth-wa...
I also decided yesterday to not pursue the work I was looking at up in Santa Fe right now. The potential client is really not wanting a consultant, but more of a staff augmentation solution to their needs and are unwilling to consider anyone to work on site PT or FT but remote some of the time. I am unwilling to work a 40 hour week and deal with 2.5 hours of commuting every day. That is what employees have to do, not consultants. So if they want my consulting help, I will go talk to them but not sure they see the value in my services. Some organizations care more about the time you put in vs. the results you get (work harder not smarter, how dumb is that?) Consultants are supposed to go in, help with what needs help and then go.
Gotta run. Got my $$$ at the bank for the yard sale tomorrow so I have more change. I am going to put a few things out, not everything I want to get rid of, but may do another round of it in October too. Will start the process tomorrow.
0 -
BB- it will be hard but it is going to help you work through your pain, let go of things, to move forward. You have not just had BC to deal with, but many other things. I understand this too, I have had two times in my life that were just really hard with a string of really tough problems (around 1990-1998) and then the more recent period from 2004-2012. Both times, I went like an energizer bunny until I just could not do it anymore. Chances are you have been doing that too. I do think we have to survive through things, but when it is the right time to heal, the opportunity presents itself.
The thing I shared this morning about making the choice to not pursue that work in Santa Fe was a big epiphany for me. I heard myself say out loud to my trainer "I need to find work as a consultant that allows me to take care of myself. To be able to get here regularly to do my exercise. Work needs to fit into my life, not own it." She smiled and high fived me. She is helping me to see taking care of me is my most important job right now and said she is helping me not just to get fit and healthier, but that a lot of other changes will come with this. I have always put everyone else first- family, friends in need, employers, clients, you name it. Now I am learning to put me first. And so will you.
Piper- bucket list items. I want to learn how to play the steel drum. I play many instruments but no percussion. I love the steel drum and it is in a lot of jazz too. I actually talked to someone about it last week and there is someone in town I can learn from.
Also, it has been a lifelong goal (bigger than a bucket list item) to write a book. I have had some very unique experiences in my life that people find interesting. Several in my family said an autobiography would make an interesting book. I have taken some classes on short story writing but never on writing a novel. One of my writing teachers/friends says you can write and don't have to publish. It can be for you or to share with your family, you don't have to publish it. The goal is to write.
I have done a lot of what I have wanted in my life. Gone to college and grad school. Moved around and lived in different places. Had several careers. Learned to play different instruments. Opened not one but two consulting businesses in the past. Bought myself a convertible (mid life crisis car). Traveled a lot. But I have yet to write the book. Since bc, I have thought about it a lot more.
Things are shifting for all of us. We are transforming. I read it in your posts.
0 -
0 -
good one jazzy girl
0 -
Thanks Milky. I hope you are doing well!
0 -
i m good ladies .
Some blood works were due and lots of other stuff.Enrique will be performing in toronto i am a big fan of his.now my kids love his songs .i have 3 courses this semester.
Enerva i am happy for you .do you tell him about your recon n stuff on first date thats the hardest part of new relationship and how the person will react .everything will be fine and everymoment .
Jazzygirl.Bb.life is wonferful.Sandpiper1.vivian have an awesome weekend.
0 -
Milky- what are you taking for classes this semester? I am starting a six week certification course in Strategic Planning that begins 9/24. I wish you the best with your education!
0 -
jazzygirl i am doing earlychildhood education .i need to complete 23 courses i started last year and i am done 13 .
0 -
xoxo
0 -
BB- so glad to hear your session today was good. You don't need to share anything about it with us. But, you are always welcome to share whatever you want here though. No doubt you will collapse and feel wiped out tonight. I remember when I worked with a therapist back in my 30;s and would do my sessions with him, and then would just go home and go to bed. It is part of the healing process, so be gentle with yourself.
And I will ask my trainer about muscle build up and menopause. I do not think she knows anything about these AIs we take and how they affect us. I did tell her about them though, that they make you stiff and that it is hard to loose weight. My joint stiffness is the worst in my feet and elbows, so she is helping me with some specific exercises for those areas. But when I mention the AIs and the side effects and challenges sometimes, she looks at me sort of vacant. So my guess is I will be figuring this part out together. She has told me some stories about people who had no quality of life she got back to living very fully. I know she is going to make this girl that much stronger.
Milky- you did tell me about your program before and I apologize I forgot the details. You are making good progress with your classes.
Piper- I put my stuff in the garage tonight for the yard sale tomorrow and priced everything and will get up early and do this for a few hours, but won't spend my whole day sitting out there. Alot of people around here are doing yard sales tomorrow, so I get rid of what I can and then pack up and go off to my day. I actually don't have that much to sell, but going to do a bit tomorrow to lighten my load and may do another round of it in October, once I go through the rest of my stuff.
My neighbor next door was going to do this with me but has not been feeling well so I am just doing it on my own. She did give me a big table to use tonight to put my stuff on which is awesome! I gave this neighbor these two Indian sand paintings that were given to me as a gift and just have no place for them in my little house. Never mind they go with the former friend who distanced from me after my BC and whom I really don't feel any connection with now. My neighbor is a Zia Native American Indian and knew she would love the sand pics and you should have seen her eyes light up when I brought them over to her and said I wanted her to have them. She has been a great neighbor and we have become friends through the years and felt good passing these along to her.
I hope everyone else here had a good day! Into the weekend we go.....
0 -
hi ladies....happy friday!!
BB - for the sake of your health, you have to stay positive. i would say you open up and cry your heart out and begin to heal. i understand it's easier said than done but baby steps.....
personally i just bury myself in work which i find joy. and i stopped thinking about a lot of things. and when i was just standing in the street waiting for my bus...i looked up and there's some kind of peace entered my mind/heart. it felt great for a moment. i guess that's the baby steps i meant....little by little, enjoy what life has to offer.
0 -
0 -
June- I agree about work. I am in between contracts right now and not working, but as I came out of BC, my work really kept me focused on something else so I would not think too much about things. I am far enough away from things now that I don't think about it during this break time. Lots of other things going on that have required my attention.
I am glad you felt a moment of peace. I have those too from time to time (more lately actually) and just bask in them when they happen.
I hope you have a nice weekend!
0 -
0 -
Jazz, hope the garage yields a little mula and less stuff in your house
BB-gentle hugs.
Milky, Jazz great pic shares
June-good to remember to 'stop and enjoy the little things in life'
Bucket list: Steel drums and a book-awesome!
E-Way to go handling the text/inquiries
Viv-glad you are feeling better. Do you ever get to enjoy the olives or are they just a nuisance?
Have some things to do before work tonight.
Wishing everyone a restful weekend.
xoxo
0 -
BB- have you ever tried journaling? It is a great way to write down your thoughts as you go through therapy or life in general. So you can also go back later and see how you are growing and changing. What your thoughts were like at different times in your life. I buy my journals 4-5 at a time at discount stores like TJMaxx, Marshalls or Ross (out west). When I run out of one, another is waiting to have it's pages filled.
And to answer your question, I do believe everything in life has purpose. For us to learn about ourselves and to also perhaps teach us about others. From the good experiences we have, to the disappointments, failures, illnesses, losses, and the like. The hard stuff is usually the greatest teacher of all, as it forces us to ask why? It is a powerful shift when you go from "why is this happening to me?" to "what am I to learn from this?"
I know during the most difficult times in my life, I have not always understood the why's until much much later. The hard things in life from divorce or failed relationships, to disease, to losses /death really do change us and force us to do new things. I look at some things that went on a few years ago that totally tore my world apart, and am perhaps just know understanding a lot more of what the purpose was in those sequence of events.
You are on a good journey now my friend. We will stay here with you as you continue on your new path.
0 -
Hello, sisters.
I've been very busy with some work I have to do, so I've been away from the forum - how long has it been? I'm not sure.
I've been thinking about all of you, and I hope everyone is all right. I'm stopping in to say "hello" and will try to catch up with the conversation later.
I see that I haven't visited since page 92, and now the conversation is up to page 100. So, I'll have quite a bit of catching up to do. I'll return as soon as I can - hopefully sometime this weekend.
Hugs to all...
0 -
Life- I hope everything is going okay with you and good to hear from you. All is fine with me.
Look forward to hearing more from you soon.
0 -
BB- it sounds like this a program that can help you. Ask them if you can set up a payment schedule to pay your out of pocket through time. Most organizations have such arrangements. Even with insurance, the co-pay and deductibles most people have to pay these days are not affordable to most. I hope you can get in to this program.
0 -
BB- you got it. You can and will get back to whole again.
0 -
Hi ladies- busy day today. Sold a bit at the yard sale, but not enough and will box up and donate the rest. I have just been reminded again what great neighbors I have, and feel grateful for that.
Went to my friend's son's birthday party (he turned 4) for an hour. I have not seen this friend in few months and her son is a really sweet little boy. They had some great food and wine too, although I passed on the wine, as I was going to the gym later.
I did not have much energy to swim tonight. My trainer told me the work we are doing on my core was going to make tired, and I really felt that today after three pretty hard work outs with her this week. Going to slow things down a bit more tomorrow too. My body is adjusting to the new routine.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
P.S. I like that BB is liking her hair too!
0 -
hi ladies, well lots to say ha ha ha start by saying it's 23:15 and I am awake staring at my ceiling again.
So yesterday I went out to dinner with a guy my friends set me up with.
I had a great time and felt as if there could be chemistry. I mean not like with my ex but yes some chemistry. Lol I will see where it goes we talk for hours laugh and had a great dinner and desert at milestone restaurant. I really enjoyed it. Not kiss or anything more but he does wants to meet again. Lol I don't know when but today by text I told him about my bc. I just told him there was something I needed to tell him and that if after knowing about it he still want to get to know me then it's ok but that i for some reason could not tell him last night during dinner. Lol he then reply saying it's ok he has no close friend who had it so he is not familiar with bc but that i seam to be ok and that's all that matter to him now. So I am very happy lol I got it out of the way and now I can see him again and hang out and see where it goes. I am going to take it slowly like that book said ha ha not sure if 90 days though ha ha but a good month or two. We live far he lives close to my ex and guess what yesterday he drove and we met half way. And he says he will always go where I am or half way. So I was very pleased 😌 my Ex never drove to the city for me
Anyway who knows if loves come my way. But this man and I will be friends first he also says he is in no rush and he Enjoys my company we have lots in common lol
Ok so what Did I do today. I got up and I decided to take my first ride . Well yes milky it was cold and miserable but I am just dying to try. I put on my scarf and gear and took my girl to the gas Station lol got gas then went to riders choice and got her oil changed and tune up. Then took queen'way to cawtra then north to 403, 403 west to dudas then east .stopping at a Tim Hortons got a coffee .then took the same route back to home. I was frozen but it felt great . Off course now I am in pain ha ha ha so no more riding for me . I know I know I am an idiot for exposure to dangerous situations so Soon. Lol
Ok I came home ,parked my bike and came upstairs hada hot shower, my late lunch and went straight to bed lol
Now no sleeping just thinking thinking thinking lol
Here u can see I was the only nuts out today.
0
