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Comments

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited May 2014

    God Bless all of you who made my princess warrior coat. Who came on here to give me support when you were not doing well. You have no idea how much you have given me. I couldn't be fighting this battle without you..

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited May 2014

    Cindy and Diane thanks for the nice comments I can only hope it's a good one.It can't be any worse than my current job.I would give them 2 weeks notice and then take a few days off.I have like 43 hrs of PTO saved up.

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited May 2014

    Lemon.You try and get out of the house this weekend .Do something fun.

    We will all be in your pocket.It will be ok.Hugs!!

  • brooksidevt
    brooksidevt Member Posts: 1,432
    edited May 2014

    Good news, Kate!  Strange as it seems, I'll bet you just can't wait to get going with the new chemo and start whacking away at those intruders.  When do you get your port?  And start treatment?  Your doc wouldn't have mentioned the trial unless you had a really good chance of qualifying so here's hoping!  Fingers all crossed. 

    Josie, I know you'll rock that interview.  And definitely, definitely plan some Josie time before you jump back into lovely new job.

    Lemon, I was 50-50 between the lumpectomy I wound up with and a double with DIEP, so am very interested in how your experience goes.  I only know one woman who did the DIEP.  She looks amazing and is very, very happy with not the teeniest regret.  I'm sure, after those first few truly icky days, you'll be absolutely joyful.  In you pocket with margaritas on the Cinco de Mayo..

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited May 2014

    Thanks Brookside.Yeah I wonder if they will pay me for the PTO .That's why I was like why not just call in a few days if they don't.But I'm not like that .I never call in if I'm not sick.In fact .I can't remember the last time I called in.Guess I'm too honest.

  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited May 2014

    Lemon, we are in your pocket for your surgery. I know you will come out fine on the other end of this! You will be in my thoughts on Monday.

    Kate, you are amazing. Period! I know you are a warrior princess of the first order and deserve that coat!!

    Josie, you are kind of a warrior these days too considering your workplace battleground. I know you are strong. If you need the job, kill them with kindness. It will make them nuts!! When they give you a hard time. smile and say, "Of course I will do it your way...thank for pointing that out to me" and believe me, they will be so shocked that you reacted like that, eventually they will back off you. It worked for me years ago when someone gave me this advice. All of a sudden, I was the boss's new BFF and she eventually left me alone. I never trusted her though and eventually SHE got fired. HA! Just let them think you agree with everything they say and will do what they want you to and like I said, eventually they get bored with bitching at someone who doesn't get rattled!

    Has anyone seen the movie "Decoding Annie Parker?" If so, what did you think of it?

    Ok, thought I had more time, but have to run and check the cat's blood sugar as it is nadir time.

    xoxoxoxo


  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited May 2014

    Thanks April.I don't know if that will work or not.I will try.I just don't think I'm up for that.I am so done.Hope that other job lead works out.

  • BigDBeatingBigC
    BigDBeatingBigC Member Posts: 228
    edited May 2014

    Hi all -- I have had some issues the past couple of weeks but am catching up on all the reading here.

    Kate, I am sorry you are having continuing issues but glad you had that time away.  I think about you every day.  Hang in there and keep fighting - things will turn around for you.  I feel it.

    Josie, praying you find a new job.  I cannot imagine how difficult that is for you, being in that situation.  I have some problems where I work, but nothing compared to you.  I have my days when I wish I could just quit, but I know that is not practical and I would be homeless in short order if I did that, so I think of the positives as much as I can and thank God for my job, such as it is, knowing there are so many who are unemployed and not able to work or able to find a job.  Still, the way you are being treated is not right.  Look forward to that day when you find the job you are meant to have and you can tell those a**es goodbye once and for all!

    Lemon, thinking of you as well.  Sending you good vibes and lots of hugs.

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited May 2014

    Thanks Big D.I know it is good I have a job but just can't take this one anymore.I believe that when one door closes anouther opens.

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited May 2014

    Thanks so much for the support Brookside, April and Big D Beating.

    Big D I so hope you are right about things turning around for me.

    Brookside you are so right this time I can't wait till chemo starts and I start fighting those Bugers once again. Doc placed the order for the port, so the hospital will call me to set up the appointment. Doc wants it no later than  the 14th I thinks, so fairly soon.

    I am actually having a peaceful weekend, because I feel hopeful. I am having severe constipation, but I am praying the enema will work tomorrow at 11. My GI Dr. just emailed and said if I am feeling desperate I should take both Miralax and Milk of Magnesia. She is on call at the hospital( in case the enema does not work), so that makes me feel good too.

    Also I think it is finally going to cool down here. We've had temperatures in the 90's that were very uncomfortable for me.

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited May 2014

    A little bit of more good news. The nurse is coming 11-12 tomorrow. If the enema does noit work I will go to St John's ER. Even though I had such a bad experience there Monday my GI specialist is on call there tomorrow. She just emailed me and told me that. So I will get help tomorrow.

  • lemon68
    lemon68 Member Posts: 301
    edited May 2014

    Josie, April and BigD- Thanks so much, my nerves are getting to me again, I was good all day but now I am relaxing and my mind starts going! I appreciate the support. I will have big pockets filled with Margaritas for Cinco de Mayo and salsa and chips!

    Brookside- You know I had a lumpectomy too, I wasn't given a choice but even if I was that is what I would have chosen. As time progressed I knew in my heart they had to go. ILC is so sneaky, after my last mammo they told me they couldn't see anything but my breasts were so dense, basically for ILC is show itself it would need to be bigger, not a chance I was willing to take. I am scared but I have no doubts. I am having a nipple/skin sparing so I am hoping when I peek after surgery they will both be there looking up at me! :) The tummy being gone I hope will be the silver lining in it all. I don't know anyone who has had it but I have been active in the DIEP thread and have met some wonderful women! One of them sent me handmade beautiful drain pouches, I was so touched I cried. There are 2 others have surgery on the same day so I feel so not alone :) Thank you Brookside ((hugs))

  • justmejanis
    justmejanis Member Posts: 1,474
    edited May 2014

    Lemon I will be with you in your pocket on Monday as you face this difficult surgery.  I know it is scary...I am having surgery the following Monday on my esophagus and hiatal hernia.  A case of the nerves is perfectly normal.  Just remember you won't be alone, you will have a big cheerleading squad.  Big gentle hugs to you. 

    Kate as your struggle continues you know how much love is being sent your way.  I hate that you have to deal with this very annoying cancer.  I can only imagine how bad it feels with the swollen legs and the constipation issues.  You never give up and always have hope, and this strong will of yours will prevail.  So many people here have their own struggles but I think we all gather strength from one another.  Nobody goes through any of this alone.  We are here for the long haul.  I wish only the best for you, great response from the new chemo.  The clinical trial would be awesome.  Sending healing hugs.

    Josie I feel for you with that crappy job.  Being treated like that wears one out.  You will get out and get a better job and hopefully your current job will be nothing more than a very distant bad memory.  No matter what, don't let these bozo's put a damper on your spirit.  Don't let them make you doubt your skills.  You deal with a lot and I know there is a better opportunity for you in the future.  Keep your focus on a much better tomorrow!

    April it is so nice to see you posting again! 

    Shout outs to all...sending love and hugs ladies.

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited May 2014

    Janis thank you so much for the support

  • joan811
    joan811 Member Posts: 1,981
    edited May 2014

    So many of my dear friends here hurting and having anxiety....
    Lemon...it is a big undertaking and your anxiety is understandable.  I found when I was awaiting surgery and feeling like I was heading into the unknown, that writing helped me...putting my feelings down somewhere safe, whether it was on the computer or a scrap of paper...helped me get the words and fears out of my head.  You are in the thoughts and prayers of many...me included.  (((Lemon)))

    Janis, I know you are a pro at surgeries and procedures...and that is nothing to smile about.  But still, this is nerve-wracking.  I only wish that you can find relief in this procedure and that it will be worthwhile.

    Josie, it is encouraging that your application is being considered.  I hope you can hang in there...I thought it was good advice to stop fighting and "act" compliant but that is easier said than done.  Since you have explained your situation here, I have become very aware of just what health care providers do when they are readying me for exam or procedure.  You have to do far more than any others I've experienced so far.  It sounds impossible.

    Well, it's very late....and I have a sore throat for 2 days now.  I drove into New York City today to have lunch with my grandson for his birthday (he is 24!)...now tomorrow I go back on the train to the natural history museum - six of my students were meeting me; I heard that only one will be coming and only 1 person told me they were not.  (rude? yes!)  I wish no one would come so I could stay home.

    Regarding being a "working hero"...hmmmmmmm not really....and yes, classes end; then I go to CA to visit my son; then 2 days after I get back I start a summer semester where I will work all day and evening for 4 days a week for 5 weeks just so I can have 6 weeks off in the summer instead of just 3.  It's overtime for me; but I am getting it over quickly.

    Today I took my first walk on the beach of the season.  I breathed in clean salty air...not a soul on the beach but DH and myself....it was just what I needed.

    Kate, think positive thoughts...and attack each problem as it presents itself; but don't try to look too far ahead.  I am glad you can see some hopeful choices ahead.  Hugs and prayers....maybe you can share some pix of your family like you did last time...would love to see that smile on your face!!!

  • brooksidevt
    brooksidevt Member Posts: 1,432
    edited May 2014

    Good morning, Kate.  Here's hoping for a very "productive" visit from your nurse.  It must feel so good to know your gastro doc is on call today-- makes it so much easier to make the decision to go there to get checked out, or call the ER and ask her if you should come in. (the call might take a bit of schmoozing to get past the nurse/gorgon, but I know you and your princess warrior coat would win out.   It would be so good to leave this horrid cramping in the dust.

    Thinking of you, Lemon, and wishing you the most amazing outcome. 

    Josie, this new potential employer durned well better come through for you!  I declare it to be time!  I do want to share that last year I invited my truly lovely manager to come to my office and help me get organized.  I asked for it, she was lovely.  She loved it.  I hated, hated, hated it.  I also hated all her organizational suggestions and went back to my old ways as quickly as possible.  I can't imagine how much worse it would have been had I shown up and found she'd been there all alone.  Ughhhh.

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited May 2014

    Lemon, please take my advice and put it in the hands of the Lord.That is always my prayer before surgery.I can remember before my first lumpectomy.I was so nervous finally someone prayed for me and literally I felt a calmness come over me that was indescribable.I think it was Jesus wrapping his arms around me.Then I calmed down and knew it was going to be alright.

    Thanks Janis, Joan and Brookside for the support.I appreciate it.

    Brookside, I can't even imagine asking my boss to come in and organize me.Your brave.I can imagine it not working out though.It always makes sense to the organizer but not the person getting organized.I'm crossing my fingers I could get this job.


  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited May 2014

    My office is organized chaos. I have no room for anything and my office is pretty large by most standards. I just have too many clients! I have to move the closed files to our central filing area and put all the new ones away. I am in a sea of red files all of the time and we kill entirely too many trees with the program I work in (federally funded and you know the feds!) My heart goes out to you Josie...not sure I could take my boss coming in  to my office and touching ANYTHING with me not there. I just read that and for some reason had not seen that prior to my suggestion to you. Fuggedabout the kindness with that witch. I will pray for you to get the new job asap!

    Kate, hoping you are comfortable and not in pain.

    Lemon, we are in that pocket for tomorrow.

    Great to see you Joan and Janis and Brookside!

    Ok, hubby just beeped the horn that he is home from grocery shopping so have to go out and help him schlep the bags in...he was good enough to go for me cause I am not feeling well today as I try to reacclimate to aromasin again after my "vacation" from it.  Ugh!

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited May 2014

    Thanks April.I agree.

    BTW your hubby went to the grocery store alone? Mine's not allowed.He would spend a fortune and not come home with anything healthy.Sorry your under the weather.Yesterday we went grocery shopping together.I was so exhausted as we were checking out.Literally had to stop for a Dr Pepper on the way home.Weird huh? Maybe the stress caught up with me.I know I haven't slept great this weekend .My son hasn't either.He was up half the night again.I wake up and can't always go back to sleep.

  • LiLi-RI
    LiLi-RI Member Posts: 160
    edited May 2014

    Hi Ladies, I have been off the boards for a bit working and trying to digest my future. My biopsy results returned with lobular beginning to grow. Of course, they suggested I wait 6 months and repeat the mammogram and stereotactic biopsies. Not a chance. So I made a decision with my lovely BS to go forward with double masectomy with reconstruction at the same time. The only kink in the process is that I already had right breast radiated. So I meet with PS on Tuesday to see what process for reconstruction will be done! I am so exhausted.

    SAB - thank you for thinking of me!

    Kate - I am so happy you were healthy enough to make trip to Chicago to be with family! Every moment is precious!

    Josie123- Yikes about your job issues. I am an attorney, and my best advice is to document everything!

    Also, I am happy to hear about an interview......love the selfie !

    JustmeJanis - I will be in your pocket on 5/12

    Lemon68 - I get it! Breathe....one step at a time...I will be in your pocket tomorrow!

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited May 2014

    Joan, Brookside and April thanks so much for the support.

    Joan I have pictures of the kids, but I refused to take any photos of me. Because of the constipation and feeling so stuffed I barely have been eating, Big mistake I look terrible. I weigh 148 which should not be I look like I weigh 115 at most. I am carrying at least 30 extra pounds in water weight. So, my thighs and abdomen are gigantic and my arms are rail thin, and my face is rail thin and sunked in. In fact it makes my face look like Auschwitz. There are certain spots that are sunken in. The last couple of days I have been gorging myself on food, Can my face be reversed? Instead of sunken in sunken out?

    Brookside the nurse was an absoluet blessing this morning. At least 6 days worth of stool. came out. It is such a relief. Last night I took 4 tablespoons of Milk of Magnesia and a dose of Miralax. I am not sure if I should keep that or add another dose of Miralax, so this will work on its own. The nurse can only come once a week now, so I will need to have at least one bowel movement on my own.

    I am blessed today. Hopefully I can relax and watch TV.

    Tomorrow the lady who cleans for me is coming and she is going to Ralph's to buy a few things for me. Then I am taking her for a late lunch for her birthday at a very good chinese restaurant. Can you believe it is Cinco De Mayo and instead of Mexican we are going for Chinese. Since it is a good restaurant it might be crowded for chinese food too.

  • lemon68
    lemon68 Member Posts: 301
    edited May 2014

    Thank you everyone for your support. I am doing pretty good today, but getting nervous as the hours pass. Nice to know you will be with me in my pseudo pockets!

    LiLi RI- I am sorry to hear about the news, very sorry.  I am a lobular sister if that makes it any better, I know it doesn't but you are not alone. I also had radiation to the right side, you still have option though. I support your decision and only you know what is right for you. As you know I go tomorrow and I am 110% sure this is the right thing for me, that sneaky lob isn't getting me! I wish you well on your reconstruction decisions and choices. We really are lucky to live in a time when we have so many options available. You will pick what is right for you. ((HUGS)) lemon

    Josie- thank you for reminding me that a higher being is in charge tomorrow, I needed that! I am going to check in when I can and hope to see you are out of that job and into new soon. XO

  • rmlulu
    rmlulu Member Posts: 1,501
    edited May 2014

    Hi Y'all

    Lemon - in your pocket!  Very crowded in here...here's a princess tiara to cheer on the pre-party :) sending calm confident thoughts&prayers. We will keep a close 8-12 hour Lemon guard duty!  Yes, very touching the thoughtful drains...:)

    LiLi - sorry test results not what you wanted to hear, but it sounds like your BC team is on top if it and you are getting ready to move forward.  Your pockets are full!

    Kate - yeah, relief...grateful for nurse...get a moving colon.  Good to hear you feeling upbeat and ready to take on the next challenge...press on 

    Janis - baking like crazy...way to many pocket parties...your next 5/12

    Josie - chin up...here's to a good week, a job offer, and much more:)))

    BigD - hoping its a good week ....sometimes es no excitement us a good thing.

    Last night was Relay for Life...hubby and I choked up on the surviors lap...all the clapping and cheering...:))) ugh this c...find a cure!  Not just more meds!

    (((Hugs)))

    Cindy

  • MostlySew
    MostlySew Member Posts: 1,311
    edited May 2014

    Ok Lemon, We're just about all here, but the late comers are going to find it hard to find a place to sleep!  Oh...did we tell you we were starting tonight for you?  we'll be with you the whole time, and as soon as you're awake enough, you can join us.  With all of us watching out for you, you know you'll be in good hands.

    LiLi-Ri, I'm so sorry to hear about your Lob diagnosis.  What a nightmare for you.  I'm glad you've taken some time to digest this, and talked with your surgeon and next the PS to get some idea of the options available to you.  You'll know when you've made the right decision for you.  We're here to help any way we can so lean on us, we'll help you thru this.

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited May 2014

    Lili, I'm sorry your news was bad.You know we will be there for you when you have the surgery.Again it's just not fair.

    Thanks for understanding and the support.Especially with the Diagnosis your dealing with.

    Kate, glad to hear your doing better.We are always more critical of ourselves when pictures are taken.I'm sure your still beautiful.

    Lemon, glad to hear your feeling a bit better.Also Glad you are going to put it in the hands of the Lord.Thanks for the words of encouragement.

    Cindy, Thanks again for your encouragement.Glad to hear about the relay for life was so good and of course emotional.

    Not looking forward to Monday.

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited May 2014

    Lemon, Cindy, and Josie thx for the support.

    Lemon I am in your pocket

    Cindy you and hubby are true surviviors and you are my hero. When everything is down you still have a funny line

    Josie you are always one of the first to offer support

  • joan811
    joan811 Member Posts: 1,981
    edited May 2014

    (((Lemon)))  It is really crowded in the pocket...hugs and prayers.
    (((Lili)))  This is not the news you wanted to hear.  I hope and pray that you find the right option for you.  I wish it were different news...we are here with you.

    Kate, I understand about the photos...I just was wishing you were better.  I hope you continue to regain well-being and strength.  Be kind to yourself as you continue to recover from your trip.

    I only had one student with me to New York today but she brought her mom and that was really nice...we had a good time.  Now, exhausted...hugely busy day Monday.  Only four more classes....I can do it; I can do it:....

    Brookside, you are braver than I, having someone come in to organize your "stuff"...very pre-emptive; but stressful!

    I will be waiting to hear about Lemon...

  • brooksidevt
    brooksidevt Member Posts: 1,432
    edited May 2014

    Thinking of you, Lemon.  In that pocket with all the others.  Can you hear the margarita glasses clinking? Prayers for a speedy recovery.

    Janis and Lilli, with you too, as, of course, you're getting read for your procedures. 

    Joan, a Sunday trip?  And a double schedule?  You know, there are people out there who sit and watch TV, or read, or knit.  Maybe you could take a class on vegging out?

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited May 2014

    ((Lemon)) in your pocket and in my prayers.Good luck sweetie.


  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited May 2014

    This pocket is crowded Lemon! Godspeed to you cause it is hot in here!!!!!!!!

    Lili, so sorry hon...hopefully you know you can come here to vent!

    Ok, just had my one year rads checkup and my leftie looks lovely she said. Hmmm, doesn't look all that lovely to me, but what do I know?

    Back to work. Hugs to all!

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