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Comments

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited June 2015

    Diane, glad to hear dogs haven't gotten into much trouble recently. I think I told you my DD broke up with her boyfriend and her and puppy moved out. Well they moved in with my MIL. She has a spare bedroom.The pup has been getting loose once in a while and my MIL can't chase him. He is on a tie out because she can't afford the $500 for an additional collar for their invisible fence. MIL has her own Golden retriever who is on the invisible fence. Anyway her tie out for the dog comes out of the soft ground because of the excessive rain. My father in law hurt his knee when he fell trying to get the dog untangling in the woods behind their house. She is trying but not even sleeping there and when she is off doesn't always have dog with her. My FIL has just about had it and I can't blame him. I wish I could have her back home but we don'thave the room. I even offered to clean out the basement so she can move home again but she wasn't interested.

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 1,568
    edited June 2015

    Thanks Josie, sorry you are having dog issues or your DD is. No I didn't know she moved out. No offense doesnt sound like a fair arrangement for your in-laws. I can relate to that. 2 of the 3 are DS' dogs but like your DD he is gone mostly on the weekends - n fact regularly on the weekends. I remind him they are his responsibility but that falls on deaf ears. He knows we will take care of them. I won't kick him or them out but I did threaten him with that unless he is more proactive with them. He is doing better. I love them I am just exhausted by them sometimes.

    Maybe your in-laws need to do the same with DD. It's not their responsibility either. Plus they already have a dog.

    Why doesn't she want to move home? DS can't afford to live away from home yet.

    Diane

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited June 2015

    Diane, she moved out when she graduated high school. Never gave me a reason but I'm sure it has to do with the tough road she chose before that. We were naive and trusted her way too much. She got into some trouble but we got her on the straight road but she probably wanted to be Mrs independent and not have to follow our rules anymore. Your right it's not fair to my in laws but I tried to tell her and it kind of fell on deaf ears. My father in law is going to have to speak up. He tried to tell her the other day. I think she may have to learn the hard way. Hopefully they don't ask her to leave or get rid of the dog.

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 1,568
    edited June 2015

    I so can relate esp the trouble part. DH and I could write a book. We never shared all the pain and heartache and embarrassment we and DS went through. Suffice to say I was in s constant state of anxiety. His friends were a Godsend otherwise I would have been in a mental institution. I prayed constantly and am convinced he had a guardian angel. So many things could have been so much worse. He is better now too but I will never get over all the things he put us through. I have forgiven but can't forget. My parents would not have been so supportive.

    I agree your FIL has to be firm.

    DS doesn't care so much for our rules either but tough. As long as he lives with us he will.

    Diane

  • brooksidevt
    brooksidevt Member Posts: 1,432
    edited June 2015

    Josie, have they priced the cost of the second collar? I think you can purchase a whole (low end, anyway) system for $500. Whatever the cost, your DD should be the one to purchase it, even if she has to repay someone $$$ every week. Even with a collar, an invisible fence will not work unless someone spends a lot of time training the dog to respect its limits. My dog (supercharged dalmation) just could not get the hang of the fence (or maybe I just did not devote enough time to his training), and would blast right through the boundary, then get stuck outside because he didn't want the shock he'd receive when he crossed back inside.,

    It's tough to be a young person, probably tougher on the kid than on the parent. Hard to believe, but it kind of is.

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited June 2015

    Brookside, $500 was the price of the second collar.And your right he would need some additional training. She never seems to have the time so she needs to either make the time or find anouther solution.It seems every time I mention she gets defensive.

  • joan811
    joan811 Member Posts: 1,981
    edited June 2015

    When I made my recent post (then lost it) for some reason I had not seen the last page of posts....
    April, I just read back and realized that your dear father has passed suddenly.  I remember how concerned you were when he was showing signs of weakening.  We are never prepared for a day like you had....and with all that has gone on, I am praying that you will find time to process this loss.  I wish you fond memories...
    I hope DH is continuing to improve.
    Janis, your post about your dad is so heart-wrenching.  I know how hard it is for you and your sister to accomplish anything long distance.  I don't know what you should do, but you may still have options.  There is truly evil in some people's actions and words.  It must hurt a lot.

    Cindy, hope your trip went well.  Did you sneak a birthday in there (your post June 22)? 
    I am glad you decided to spend it with family and friends.  It must be tough for life to "go on" when you've been through such big changes and experienced loss. 
    Hugs to you....

    Diane, I just installed central air, and in 2-1/2 days I realized how stressful a renovation would be.  We are planning to do some major work and I realize I had better not plan much else.  Good luck with getting things done.

    Josie, I hope things are going OK for you.  Wishing you peace. (yes, I am done with work except for one evening next week.  loving the time off!)


  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited June 2015

    Hi ladies,

    Back at work and trying to catch up. It was a rough one last week but have to move on. Now comes the fun since I am executor and there is a house to sell etc. Never ends with this. I feel like I just finished up with my Mom's stuff and now we are going through this again. Getting old is definitely not high on my list of things I enjoy...but, saying that around here could get me KILLED and rightly so since the alternative is...well...you know what I mean. Winking

    Ok, back to it. Thanks for all of the condolences and words of support. xo


     

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 1,568
    edited June 2015

    Thanks Joan. For us it means DH does most of the work except the a/c. Good thing is it's done right and negative is there are only so many hours in a day and he works long hours. Still he managed to replace our roof with an architectural one and replaced all the siding on the house. FYI Sears wanted 17k to do the siding. Yikes! We still have carpet that will b replaced with hardwood flooring and the kitchen floor with tile plus the countertops and tile the other bathrooms. Ugh. We have put off a lot until now because as you know kids, etc drain you emotionally and financially.

    Diane

  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited June 2015

    Josie, people sell those collars on Craigslist sometimes. Maybe she can get one used there or on EBAY making sure she is getting the correct type for that system? Just a thought....

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited June 2015

    April, thanks I'll let her know.

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 1,568
    edited July 2015

    Okay we are taking the pups to be neutered Friday. They so need the surgery and have heard it will calm them down. I sure hope so my nerves can't take much more of the fights. Today I put them in the garage with the side door open and 2 fans on full blast, I even darkened all the window panes. I'm keeping them apart as much as I can.

    I tried everything to stop the fights like throwing water on them, a blanket and blew the fog horn. Finally the water worked. Stressful to say the least.

    I love them but lately they have been too challenging.

    Enough of my whining.

    Diane

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited July 2015

    Diane, good for you. Hopefully they settle down for you. Just be careful they don't rip each other's stitches out. Nowadays they use glue but if they lick enough it will open up. You may want to invest in a couple e collars.

  • SueH58
    SueH58 Member Posts: 106
    edited July 2015

    I am 2/3 of the way through with chemo, and will start rads probably mid-Sept. I have been on disability throughout surgery and chemo. Having had some or all of your rads, do you suggest I continue on DB til I'm through so ensure I'm rested enough???

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited July 2015

    Sue, that is cruelly a personal choice.Everyone handles it differently. Having Chemo already you probably be a little more wore out and fatigued than if you didn't have chemo. I did not have chemo but it still really wore me out towards the end. I didn't go on Disability in fact I worked through everyday of Rads but I also didn't have near the skin problems some have either.I did ask for a temporary handicap sticker for my car so I could park a little closer at work. There were times I felt like someone just put 10# weights on my legs and I wasn't sure if I could make it up to the checkout counter from the back of the store.But just remember to rest when you need to,,exercise a little if you can and drink plenty of water . Keep up your protein consumption too.

  • SueH58
    SueH58 Member Posts: 106
    edited July 2015

    when did that severe fatigue kick in? And how long after completion did you start getting your energy back?

  • brooksidevt
    brooksidevt Member Posts: 1,432
    edited July 2015

    Sue, if you can stay on disability, please do. I went on disability the day I started rads, and stayed on for a couple of months afterwards. My center was two hours from my house, but, luckily, my son and his family lived nearby, so I stayed with them during the week, drove home on the weekend, and for the occasional weekday event. Logistics was the original reason I chose DI, but, as it turned out, I was so traumatized by the big, bad, machine, that I needed far more recovery time than most. My skin was fine; it was my psyche that was clobbered. I also suffered from fatigue. The worst was over within a month or so following rads, but something (most likely PTSD) kept my energy level low, low, low for a very long time. I tried a couple of different meds with no improvement, then tried ginseng. Whether it was the ginseng or just the passing of time, I do not know, but my energy finally returned.

    If you can stay on DI and focus on selfcare and some projects that have been calling you, that will be wonderful. If you really want to get back to work, whether now or in the midst of rads, there is no reason to stay away. It's good to have the choice.

  • gigil
    gigil Member Posts: 916
    edited July 2015

    Just checking in. April so sorry for your loss. I was a daddy's girl too. Like you I lost my mom and then my dad, and I was the executor. It is big work and nothing you do feels right. Hang in there dear friend. I know your pain and how it feels to be orphaned - or at least that is how it feels even at our age. It is a lot to get used to. Hope your DH is doing okay. You take care of yourself too. You have had a lot to deal with lately.

    Joan, central air? How is all of that going? Is that the first time you have had it? We have some friends in NJ who have never had air conditioning. They live in a big old house in the woods and they manage to stay cool. We are so spoiled. When I was a kid, central air was not an option and we did just fine. I don't think I could do it again - ever!!

    Janis, any news on your father? SEW how are you? Cindy how did your mammo go? Hi to everyone else. I am chugging along with the IRS audit. We are getting to the end of it. Wrap up meeting the end of next month. I am desensitized now. Thank God. It is, what it is. Family wedding, birthday parties, and summer fun coming up. DH is two years from retirement and he is starting to count the days. UGH! I am binge watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix these days. I have never watched it. I really am enjoying it. What are you all up to this summer?

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited July 2015

    Sue, I guess my fatigue kicked in about halfway through Rads. I still tried to do a short walk daily just because I'm stubborn and everyone gave my that advice that a little exercise actually helps the fatigue. But it was a struggle for me to get around the block. Good luck and try not to worry too much about it. Just remember everyday you finish your closer to the end. I even kept a little calender on my desk and each day after my radiation treatment I would get to work and the first thing would be to take my sharper and Mark an X through that day indicating one more day of Rads and counting towards the end.

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 1,568
    edited July 2015

    Thanks Josie the Vet's office told us the same thing. We will def invest in the collars.

    Sue - I was fatigued about halfway through my 33 treatments. My ONC warned me so I did manage to sneak a few naps in.

    I agree with Brookside if you can stay on DI I would. I didn't work during my treatments. My job was a hike from my house plus very stressful. It is a blessing when you have a choice.

    Gigi - one of my SILs is from Rochester, NY and she said they never had a/c either. Can't imagine not having it now either in the house or car esp in the South where I live. We are spoiled.

    Diane

  • brooksidevt
    brooksidevt Member Posts: 1,432
    edited July 2015

    Sue, my only regret about disability is that I didn't stay on it longer. Do let us know what you decide and how you do with rads. You've been through so much already that I expect you'll just cruise right through the treatments.

    Gigil, don't you feel the IRS has little antennae that tell them which taxpayers are already stressed to the max, then pick them? I have a by-mail audit I'm supposed to be focusing on. Keep putting it aside. It's pretty minimal. They're only looking at my mileage (some is deductible, some not), and I do have the records, just have to organize some details, but ever time I think of doing it, it seems there is something more important to take care of.

    Edwards, I googled, "Aggression between dogs in same household," and found this:

    http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_Aggre...

    It's pretty interesting, seems to focus on identifying the alpha dog and reinforcing his status, and that of the omega as well. One of my friends did this with her dogs. They were not fighting. Her dog was about a year old and hubby brought home his puppy. My friend wanted her dog ,to be alpha and intentionally established her as such. It was an everyday effort, but it was important to her. so she persevered.

  • rmlulu
    rmlulu Member Posts: 1,501
    edited July 2015

    April - I'm so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in your memories...you will always be his special daddy's girl :))). Sending (((hugs)))

  • rmlulu
    rmlulu Member Posts: 1,501
    edited July 2015

    Hi y'all

    I've got to read back...and play catch up.

    My mammogram was good :D. My team is dropping off...man will see everyone then only Oncologist every 6 months! How about everyone else?

    My trip was humbling...I came down with food poisoning...rancid peanut butter...only thing I could find to eat. Called a friend and fortunately she came to my rescue. Found me unconscious wedge between toilet and wall head down...choking on v :((( when I came too 6 paramedics. Spend hours in ER, but refused to be admitted I would never make my 8am mammogram. Guess I was severely dehydrated. Did gator aid like crazy to get my blood work ok.

    Will not forget the day and it certainly took my mind off hubby not being there. I got the ok to drive and spends 24 hours with family...GS.

    Ok, got to go back.

    Happy 4th! God bless America!

    (((Hugs)))

    Cindy

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 1,568
    edited July 2015

    Thanks Brookside. I read it and printed it off for my DH. We were all set to have them neutered this morning but last night after DH and I came home from going out to dinner the two pups got into it. DH tried a few of the suggestions in that article and the horn idea ended up working but not before one of them jumped up and nailed him on the arm. He had to make a trip to the ER for stitches. Then son was home late after 13 hour days at work this past week so naturally I didn't sleep until he was home. If that wasn't enough we had a horrible rainstorm that was relentless and flooding everywhere. We all overslept so we will try again this week. These guys aren't a year old yet.

    Cindy - good news on the mammogram! I am 4 years out and will be seeing my ONC at least 2 more times before the 5 year mark. Mammograms are annual. Sorry about the food poisoning. Been there, had that. I thought I was dying. They wanted to admit me to the hospital too but instead pumped me with fluids and let me go home. Hope you feel better.

    Happy 4th of July everyone! Wow the summer is half over...where has the time gone?

    Diane

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited July 2015

    Cindy, glad your feeling better. That's terrible. Was this peanut butter from your own pantry? Good thing your friend came to your rescue.I knew Peanut butter could go bad but didn't realize it could make you so sick.

    Diane that's a shame your DH got bit by the pups. Sounds like you had a rough couple days.We also had severe storms and flooding. We lost electric for like 24 hours thank Goodness we have a generator.

    I was off today. Thank goodness but haven't been sleeping to well lately so I'm so tired. My daughter and I had a day at the mall and then went grocery shopping this evening with the kids.


  • MostlySew
    MostlySew Member Posts: 1,311
    edited July 2015

    Cindy...keep that friends number on speed dial! I'm so glad she found you when she did. Bet you never eat peanut butter again......SillyHeart

    I'm progressing slowly, but starting to show signs from all this prednisone (skin issues, a little hyper, low thyroid) etc. but I think it's working. Saw my nephew this week who's a back surgeon specialist at UC Davis and he insists that I need to go to UCSF for a second opinion or a consultation. This disease is so rare and he feels I should consult with people who have seen more than just a few cases. He doesn't understand why I don't go. I'm not sure I want to rock the boat as it were. I can't really have another CT scan until the end of August because I've already had so many with these procedures and the radiation dose is excessive. Consequently I won't truly know how I'm doing until then. Dilemma.

    Happy 4th everyone.....Nerdy

  • SueH58
    SueH58 Member Posts: 106
    edited July 2015

    MostlySew - I'm a bit new to this board so forgive me. But have you been having problems with your rads since 2011? I'm starting in September and your post makes me a bit nervous...

  • MostlySew
    MostlySew Member Posts: 1,311
    edited July 2015

    hi Sue...sorry to scare you. No, I haven't been having BC Radiation problems since 2011...but I have come down with a rare lung infection recently that requires steroids (prednisone) to cure...thankfully there is a cure. It's just that the only way to check this lung infection is with CT scans and they use lots of radiation. I've already had radiation on the breast, so my doc doesn't want to Bombard me with more rads. I'm sure your radiation will go well and soon all this endless scary stuff will be behind you. Or at least you won't be facing daily or weekly medical appointments. Just remember to moisturize lots, drink lots and lots of fluids, eat extra protein daily and get some exercise daily...it doesn't have to be strenuous exercise, but you do need to take a stroll around the block or something. It really does help with the fatigue which can set in with radiation. And check in with us if something seems confusing.

  • SueH58
    SueH58 Member Posts: 106
    edited July 2015

    mostlySew, thanks for the nice response. Best of luck with your lung infection. I am so tired of slugging fluids when I'm not thirsty, but have gotten good at lots of protein. With chemo I find that just being active gives me extra energy, ie errands and housework, although it may not be as good as a walk.

    Did you find yourself quite fatigued? I have been on disability from work since surgery, and am trying to decide if I should stay off thru rads to ensure I do all the things you mentioned plus avoid stress.

    Thanks

    Sue

  • brooksidevt
    brooksidevt Member Posts: 1,432
    edited July 2015

    Yikes, Cindy. How frightening! So glad you could get to your phone. I'm kind of giggling, however, about your unwavering focus on the 8:00 AM mammogram. I confess I'd probably have done the same thing--have a little trouble changing schedule. I hope you are feeling up to celebrating the 4th in whatever fashion you had in mind.

    Diane, I know that pup didn't mean it, but you do understand that this can't continue. Neutering might take a little edge off the escalation, but is unlikely to have a major effect on what has become a learned behavior. Professional obedience training is really, really called for, and soon. Meanwhile, do you think maybe muzzles will take some of the fun out of the "dance?"

    Sew, I know you know this, but a second opinion is just an opinion. You don't need to change a thing and chances are they'll just support whatever your local docs are suggesting. Meanwhile, I'm glad things seem to be improving.

    Sue, none of us on this thread, as far as I can recall, have had any significant reactions to rads. Lots if irritations, lots of apprehension, lots of unpleasantess within normal guidelines, and, most importantly, lots of sharing and lots of suport from one another.

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