"The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"
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My husband has been there with me for every appointment and every rad tx. I wouldn't have dealt with everything as strong if I didn't have him as my rock. He said "this is not your disease it is our disease and we will get through this together" He's a keeper :-)
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The night before my biopsy, I dreamed I fell into a killer whale tank and I was yelling for someone to saved me, a tall handsome asian man wearing a full wetsuit jumped in, grabbed me,hugged me tight then a small whale pushed us on to a safe landing.Two months later I met my microsurgeon, a tall handsome asian man,( wearing srubs) who gave me a big tight bear hug, the very first night I met him.
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" I love you"
"I am here for you"
"What time is your surgery..." and then "My flight arrives at 5:30. I will be there"
"If anyone can do this journey, it is you...you are a strong woman"
"What can I do to help you move?" {I moved two days afer surgery}
"You are a young woman....live your life!" {said by the oncologist's nurse, the breast cancer surgeon and th ecardiologist"
"I am so sorry you are having to go through all this....you are so young...let us know how we can help" {the pharmacist}
"I am running for you and another patient of ours" my gp's nurse]...and while it freaked me out at the time, someone ran for me in a local run for the cure marathon and ran with my name emblazing across her chest....she did it from the heart and I was grateful tha she cared enough to do so...
Mostly...mostly I have been grateful to be able to just say to my galpal "Can't wait to take my bra off...I am all swollen and need it off now!" and have them say "go ahead." and offer empathy but not pity or avoid the subject....if I brig it up at work , people are willing to ask questions or listen...if I don't, then all is status quo...
My sister and ex both said "You will be fine" and while I wantred to argue with them both with both fists clenched by my sides and demand how they knew.....them meant "We know you...you will fight...you are strong...fortunately it is small and we will WILL you to be all right"...I eventually got the message...and appreciated the sentiment
Love this new thread....good to focus on the positive:)
Sandee
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"This is a bump in the road. Before long it will be in your rear-view mirror."
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You will live. You will kick cancers ass and never look back.
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Rachel....yes!!! You will live...you are alive...that indeed is encouraging:)
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When I was first diagnosed and spent most of my time sobbing and in a fog I met a woman with Stage IV breast cancer. She put her arm around me and said, "don't worry, breast cancer won't always be the first thing you think of when you wake up." Ten years later I think of this sometimes and give thanks that she was right and that it was true so much earlier than I thought it would be.
When I meet or hear of people so terrified of chemo I'm grateful for my nurse who looked me in the eye as she was preparing my treatment and said with confidence, "you can do this". She was right.
This a wonderful thread no matter what diagnosis and what time frame. Thanks everyone.
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My oncologist said:
"Don't worry, we are going to NUKE this thing".
Now every time I see her, we kid around about it.
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My BS said to me: "You are a young woman (57???) and it's my job to make sure you are going to be around for at least the next 25 years or so." This was at my first appointment with him, and I was still at the "scared out of my mind" stage. That statement made me feel so much better, I will be thankful to him forever.1
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"You are responding incredibly well," from my ONC
And folks who don't ask what you need,just call ,come or bring stuff over. "I am on my way"
Gentle evening
Nel
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oops and forgot. From a cousin I am relying on, she has a great medical background and cuz of crazy Boston Irish dysfuntion we have not seen much of each other over the last few year "I am so glad to have you back in my life"
Nel for the last time tonight
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I love this topic!! The night before my BMX 3 months ago, I said to my husband of 33 years(since high school),"I won't be the same to you " He looked me in the eyes and said "I didn't marry your breasts,I married you" Oh my gosh,I had no idea that I would remember this and how much it truly meant to me.How about that!!
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My daughter today. She said, "I will never be mad at you, I know you are doing everything you believe is right for you and that you want to be here for us."
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Just found this thread...recently dx. The best thing someone has said to me was "would you like fresh meals 2-3x a week or frozen things you can prepare at your convenience. Neither is not an option! Let us have the privilage of helping you."
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Love this tread too.
I was 7 months pregnant when I was diagnosed. They induced me at 36 weeks. Baby was doing great (what a relief). Pediatrician who didn't talk to me about the cancer before came in when we were going to be discharged and said: "keep your head up". When I have one of those days, I remember Dr.Fox.
Things that I realized for myself and that helped me:
I am beautiful and strong, I don't need to fight anymore to prove myself.
I get to decide what a want to do with my time.
They can take my body but they will not take my soul.
I need my children more than they need me.
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The other night I was taking my supplements before dinner. My six-year-old granddaughter asked why I was still taking medicine (have been for nine months now) and I said so I will keep getting better. She said, "So we will have love."
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I am so glad I found this thread. When I was first diagnosed 2 years ago and lost my hair from chemo. Our 1 and a half year old would rub my head and say over and over " Mamas pretties". He helped me so much the fact that we wasn't afraid of his mama without hair. My children definately continue to help me though my Stage IV diagnosis.
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There were many people who said many encouraging things to me, but the one I cherish most came from my then 13 year old daughter. Because I had to be at the hospital at 6 a.m. for my surgery my daughter went to stay with a neighbor the night before, so they could get her off to school the next morning. Before she left we hugged for a very long time. I said to her, "The last time I had to go to the hospital it was for a "good" reason: to bring you into this world." She replied, "Mom, this time you are going in for a good reason, too and it's to get rid of cancer" Out of the mouths of babes!
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My 5 year old daughter cut some ribbon and taped it to my head to make hair.
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I was bitching and moaning about how I have to have two more sessions of chemo than I originally thought and a friend said to me, "Time passes. You know it does. It always does!" And she's right. This too shall pass!
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My nurse on the first day I met her and she was about to go over neoadjunct side effects... "Don't worry...we got you on this." And so far they have!!!
Cute young ambulance attendee (damn flu bug landed me in hospital betweeen rounds 1 & 2). When I mentioned about getting through this...someday, and then having to worry myself sick about it every day from then on..."yea, but they know you had it and will be watching you in case it does come back so they'll catch it early and you'll still be fine!"
My night shift nurse "Live your life, do something you like, that you love, do something nice for yourself...did you know there's a bonus going on at the Estee Lauder counter righ now? Oh and fight like hell!"
When I asked my oncologist if he thought I'd have a year or two he looked at me like I asked the ultimate dumb blonde question (still had hair then) and he replied, "of course...even if you were a later stage you'd still have years..." Really needed that at the time!
My husband on me crying about having to get 2 surgeries ...one masectomy and one replacement of expanders.."wah, wah, wah! People get surgeries every day, over and over again in Hollywood...on purpose! Besides, you never liked your boobs...I did!" Sounds cold but exactly what I needed! And though I never wanted a boob job, guess I'm getting one and actually looking forward to the results - although this sure is the hard way to do it!
When walking almost every morning I listen to the Rocky IV soundtrack. John Cafferty's Hearts on Fire...."Burning with determination, to even up the score. Hearts on fire, strong desire, rages deep within..." Also Bruce Springsteen's "The Rising" is a good song to jam too as well! Don't forget Katey Perry's Firework!
Last: T shirt I'm ordering as soon as my surgeon confirms this Thursday that she's doing a double masectomy June 1st (I don't trust the supposedly cancer free right one since the left blew up on me at only 40) "Yeah, they're fake...the real ones tried to kill me!" Since I've never appreciated fake boobs...now I'm going to get the nicest set I can get away with. A lesson on being less judgemental and irony for me!
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Dear 7of9, I just happened to go on here and so your wonderful post. My onc in Pittsburgh said the same thing, I was also Stage 2b but had bi-lateral BC, stage one in right breast, and I am still here at 2b and it has been almost 8 years, Hooray and you will too, you are a firework, fake boobs won't betray you. Blessings to you, Kathy 0
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The second you where diagnosed you became a survivor & give your fear to god and use the rest of your energy to kick cancers ass!
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This is such a nice topic---I've been lucky with so many wonderful words and actions from so many--but I have to say when all this started my grandson was4ish and although not knowing what cancer was really he knew things weren't good so he wanted to spend all his time with me to help me after operations and chemo and such--he grew up fast here. LOL But just recently we were talking about it and I told him how much he has helped me (7) and made me feel good (we're very close) and he said I wish I could meet everyone with cancer so I can make everyone feel good. And I thought he's learned so much about these things and I'm glad he did.
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What a nice topic!
The weekend before my surgery I went to a friends cottage. When I arrived, her kids and some of our friends were sitting around the table folding paper. She led me into the living room and presented me with a basket of 950 origami cranes that she had made for me. The family was finishing of the other 50 to make a total of 1000. I didn't know it at the time - but it's a Japanese tradition for special events, and for me it was intended for good health. They are all different colours, and very beautiful.
The day of my surgery I grabbed a crane at the last minute and put it in my pocket. It was blue. I still carried it after I'd changed into my gown and was in the waiting room. I showed it to my favorite nurse and she brought it into the operating room and taped it to an IV pole.
When I awoke from surgery there were two cranes sitting on my chest. One blue, one green. Apparently my partner had also grabbed a crane to keep in his pocket, and wanted me to see it when I woke up.
The cranes are in a giant basket in our small bedroom, and every time I see them I'm so grateful for my friendships, and knowing that I am loved.
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Traditional Jews will recite psalms for healing and for other serious situations. The morning of my mx my friends gathered and recited the entire Book of Psalms for my healing. There are 150 psalms.
Leah
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Kathy...THANK YOU so much. Inspiring words from someone 8 yrs out and with same/similar diagnosis....best words I heard today for sure!!!
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Dear 7of9, you are so welcome and you will be saying these words to many survivors, many, many times. Thank you for thanking me. This such a lovely thread started by Torigirl, thank you!!!Buttons, I remember my onc telling me that also, You are a survivor on the day of your diagnosis, what beautiful words!!!!!0
